Cleolinda everywhere

I have just had another Moment of Clarity with Black Ribbon--about seven pages' worth of background notes and a timeline I should have drawn up years ago, but there you are. I'm a little anxious about exactly how many years it would take to get a medical degree between 1870 and 1890, which is why I think I put off pinning down the exact years for so long. But honestly, until I made an attempt at it, a lot of things could not come together. And then I had two huge realizations and it was awesome.

So. Not to be smurfy about it, but: this is what I am thankful for. What are your plans for Turkeymas, if applicable?

Failing that: BRING UNTO ME THE BLACK FRIDAY SALES.

It's funny--there's something about January that gets me into a really dreamy mood. It happens automatically; about a week in (you know, like... right now) I look up and realize it's on me again. I think a lot of it comes from the pile of books I usually accrue from my birthday and Christmas--the latter half of December, bleeding over into January, is a great time to curl up and dive in. So when I got to college and my particular school had a one-month Janterm (that is, January term), it was perfectly suited to that feeling.

Because it was a liberal arts school, they encouraged us to ( Read more... )

I forgot to mention! New episode of Made of Fail is up. "It's like... fudge... made of out PEANUT BUTTER."

Meanwhile! Right after I posted that last entry--seriously, I hit "post" while putting on my shoes--I went out and saw Sherlock Holmes again, this time with my mother. ( More Holmesian nerditry )

(For those of you wondering when I'll ever shut up about Sherlock Holmes: IT'S NOT TWILIGHT, OKAY? So shut it and count your blessings.)

Meanwhile: omg so cold. I love it. It's already one o'clock, but it's still only 26°F, which means it only gets colder from here. In fact, we've got snow predicted for Thursday. The dogs are bored out of their minds because I won't let them stay outside longer than ten minutes at a time; I'm under a fleece blanket (NOT A SNUGGIE) in the den at my laptop, and I had to put on my huge floor-length coat and my gloves just to take them out front. (I do have a pair of full-coverage gloves, but I put on my favorites just because they are pretty: fingerless gloves recycled from toesocks, because a hole got into one of the toes, and they were too awesome to throw away. Bonus photo feature: My stubby little hobbit hand.)




(Speaking of accessories: the purse I decided on, because it's simple, and the grey-on-black paisley is interesting but casual. I'm going to try to fix my faux Fendi for more stylish occasions, but this looks like a good everyday bag. And it's from Etsy, yay.)

And I think I had something else to mention but I can't remember what but I'm sure I will later. Very busy, tons of work, trying to alternate footnotes with novel-writing, yay.

Peoples of the internet! So I have read over your de-stressing suggestions--a lot of them were what I expected, but I was curious as to what people would recommend most often, and also the more unusual suggestions. (This is related, but I'll go ahead and ask up front where people will see it: does anyone have BPAL/TAL imps of Milk & Honey and/or Blinding Glory of Love they'd be willing to sell me? I kind of want to put off buying entire bottles at $25 each until I've tried them, and also, until I have the second e-book out.) So, I present to you some--not all, but some--of y'all's suggestions, with additions of my own where applicable:

( Read more... )

Very tired--like, "sleepy" tired, not "verge of a nervous breakdown" tired. Maybe it's just because there's been a lot of holiday-related running-around lately, which is fun. And I've been eating out more, which means I'm drinking soda, which means I'm getting more caffeine than I should, which means I'm not sleeping very well at night. All I know is, a friend called yesterday and thought something was seriously wrong, because I sounded completely out of it. I woke up a bit late and didn't take my meds on time this morning, so now I have a headache, etc., which I'm hoping will go away by the time I go out to the Christmas swap party tonight. Speaking of which, I am still trying to find my boots (just short black boots to wear under my jeans, nothing huge), because I would really like to wear those. Also, I have very nearly talked myself into wearing a dark blue top with crocheted sleeves that are a bit... princessy. Eh, I will claim they are "festive."

First, a few Avatar links, since that's what the last entry was about. And thanks for such a civil and thoughtful discussion over on the Avatar entry. It took 360 comments for someone hostile to finally show up and inform me that I am a prejudiced, touchy-feely liberal. After the all-time high of cleoloindaisgay, this was a fairly disappointing flame.

James Cameron Reveals His Quest to Build More Perfect CGI Boobs. Unfortunately, I read this before I saw the movie, so I spent the whole thing staring at Neytiri's goods, curious to see if such a paradox as a CGI nip slip could possibly occur. 

EW on Avatar: Does story matter? "Titanic is Shakespeare compared to Avatar." ICE BURRRRRRN.

James Cameron Planning 'Avatar' Trilogy, Director Tells MTV News. Yeah, I told you.

‘Avatar’ could get nine Oscar nominations. I don't know if I'm just more mature mellow as a person now than I was circa Titanic, but I think I would manage not to claw my eyes out if it won something huge. I don't know--maybe my Zoe Saldana love is helping me hold on.

The "Moff's Law" link going around: RT @ebertchicago To people who say "Just enjoy! Don't analyze!" This speaks eloquently for me: http://j.mp/4XAkBR.

Meanwhile (alert alert alert): today's 50% off sale at Aromaleigh is the Eye Lustres section ( Quick reviews of the ones I like )

Speaking of color: Colorstrology. Something about birthdays and colors and Pantone sponsorship, I don't know, but it's interesting. December's color is Pagoda Blue, and the 14th turned out to be Green-Blue Slate: "Complex, quick-witted, expressive." "You are expressive and funny and people like it when you entertain them" in particular made me laugh. DANCE, HUMOR MONKEY!


Speaking of which, I am so behind on Secret Life. Oh God. The Christmas/catchup installment looks like it's going to be in three parts now. Dammit.

Bear with me as I lead into this, because I have some philosophical ramblings about beauty products that guys (i.e., people who do not wear makeup and may not understand the appeal of cosmetics) may find interesting.

So. I have gift cards to Sephora, and also a promotional code from their newsletter that expires today, and then three free mini lip glosses as a birthday promotion, therefore: it's economy-boosting time. My on-and-off obsession with makeup, as previously documented here, is somewhat peculiar, given that I wear very little of it. I mean, number one: I don't leave the house much. I have sensitive problem skin, so there doesn't seem to be any point in irritating it with the constant application and removal of makeup that no one's going to see, you know? What I really love is trying out different colors, because if I wear anything, it tends to be eyeshadow and lip gloss--I really need to wear foundation and concealer, but honestly, when I do, all I look like is someone very obviously wearing foundation and concealer, so I figure the flawed natural look is preferable at that point, and I'll just have fun with my favorite eyeshadow palettes (Hard Candy's Suede and Star). Hence the recent fixation on Aromaleigh, because the samples are so cheap that I can play all I want, and I'm hearing from other patrons that their face powders do a really good job of blending and disappearing, so I'm going to get samples of those and see if I can finally achieve the no-makeup makeup look ("Like you, only better!").

As for why girls--some girls--get so obsessed with makeup, even someone like me who rarely wears it, I can tell you very simply: ( Yes, but it's a badass lavender )


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

YAYS, my Aromaleigh samples came in!




As previously mentioned, this is my (early) birthday present to myself. I got a ton of similar colors for the express purpose of trying them out side by side, to figure out which one(s) I like best--at $1 a sample, I figure I'm good for it. I have very deep-set eyes, so I can't wear terribly dark colors; I'm mostly looking at softer, lighter shades. After some deliberation, I have decided that I am neither a cool nor a warm, but rather a neutral, and I think I might actually try some of their foundation powders next. I've had better luck with Bare Escentuals (also a loose mineral makeup) than with other powder or liquid foundations, but it's still not quite as invisible-feeling as I'd like, and, again: one dollar per sample at Aromaleigh. Even an entire container would be cheaper than Bare Escentuals. It's worth trying.

(All of my heterosexual male readers just ran off to chug beer or headbutt each other like frightened deer or something.)

I think I'm down to Wish ("A peachy golden pink with slight iridescence") or Aurora ("A pinky-beige plush matte base scattered with tiny shimmers of blue and pink. Fit for a princess." I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE) at this point. Hell, if I'm going to bed anyway, I might as well just do each eyelid a different color.

As for the three lipstick samples, I think I will start with Nuance, and then maybe the Rosewood blush.

(OH MY GOD SHE'S TALKING ABOUT BLUSH, RUN AWAY!)

Oh, and I still need to do photo tests of their three Twilight powders for you. FOR SCIENCE. After which I will probably break into a Twilight Merchandise Curse rash. (...What? How do you think I got The Littlest Edward to sparkle?) OH OH I HAVE MORE TWILIGHT CANDY TO TRY because I am fearless. And apparently suicidal.

I'm still getting used to Lizzie's touchpad mouse, but I think we can have a little more linkspam. ( GALADRIEL YAY )



(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

So. Trying to ease back into work--there are people in my life who don't think that what I do is terribly interesting or worthwhile, and even I admit that it's only recently that it's become a gainful employment once again. So I don't tend to recognize that it's possible to overwork myself, my dreams aside. But then you look back and realize that I put out an e-book and two Fifteen Minutes (HEY DID YOU HEAR ABOUT NEW MOON IN FIFTEEN MINUTES? BECAUSE THAT'S STILL THERE) in the space of about six weeks, and that's a lot of mental effort. I mean, narrative fiction is one thing--but humor can actually be kind of nerve-wracking, because (as I'm so fond of saying), it's either funny or it's not, and if you're any good at it, you know when it's not, and you just have to sit there sweating blood until you come up with something that is. Which is why I love a nice rambly entry or recap that just happens on a whim, because it's not me trying, and it doesn't involve breaking out into metaphorical hives. So my point, and I did have one, is that I'm having to recognize that maybe I am just a little bit burnt out right now. But the more time you take off from something, the harder it is to get back into it--think of how much you dread going back to work after several days off--so I spent yesterday setting up footnotes on New Moon, should something else in the house blow up and I find myself ever needing to do a third e-book. Just putting in the numbers and reminders to myself ("Talk about that news article for this one, here's the link"), which I also did last November for the Twilight 15M, and let me tell you, a year later, that really came in handy. So I did that to ease myself back into footnoting, so on and so forth.

I think one of the things I'm going to try to do is be a bit kinder to myself, in terms of work. What I really need to do, I think, is stop trying to create deadlines and expectations for myself--which sounds odd, but the thing is, the ones I create are stressful, self-defeating, and counterproductive. I think you do need discipline, but I need to live more in the present with it--put in the daily hours and work steadily and do my best, but not worry as to whether that "best" is good enough, and if I'm "on track" and set all these grand unattainable plans, because that does not produce results for me. In fact, it makes me kind of crazy, and the best things I've done in my life were, in fact, the things I did on a whim and with no expectations. That may not work for you, but it seems to work for me. So I'm going to try to live more with my best efforts in the present and stop trying to stress myself out about the future.

(I have a Zen Garden app on my phone that starts up with little sayings, and one of them was, "To a mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders." I think it's a little like that.)

Meanwhile, in other news, we're supposed to get snow tomorrow (YAY), and the dogs are deeply depressed because it's too cold for them to go out and play (I'll let them out after lunch, once it's warmed up a bit). Also, I think my birthday present to myself will be a whole mess of eyeshadow samples from Aromaleigh, since they're only $1 each anyway, last a good long time, and you can get as many as you want. (Aromaleigh: TLE approved.)

A few quick links:

'The 40 Year Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It' is Sadly Real and Has a Trailer. And sharp-eyed folks on Twitter noticed that a certain sparklepire shows up at 1:37. (BEHOLD.) Way to steal from the easiest target ever and still fail at humor, guys.

New Moon retold with lolcats.

Vampirism Does Not Make Stalking Attractive. I think I might actually buy this shirt to sleep in. You know, as a precautionary measure.

Full info at Neil Gaiman's Twitter: "Scary and sad: Paralyzed & abandoned by insurance -The Full Story."

Remember the Twilight hate questionnaire a lot of you guys filled out? Well, octoberland's article is up now!

From oasis_beatles: megmatthews20 needs eye surgery related to Marfan Syndrome, can you help? hope_in_sight is running a general/fandom auction to raise the $1500. As far as vouching for the validity of it, I recognize Meg's username as a longtime reader/commenter here (I was actually kind of shocked when I saw who it was for, the name was so familiar to me). I haven't seen her comment in a long while, for reasons that should be obvious.

Also, I know there were a couple of similar reader requests in my LJ messages, but I swear to you, my inbox has eaten them. I rarely if ever delete messages there, and there's at least two I can't find now. I have to add, though, that I'm very wary of posting requests for causes that can't be easily verified, so keep that in mind.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

So. We returned everything to Best Buy--laptop, Geek Squad contract, Microsoft Office disk--and got a full refund, no questions asked. (Say what you will about their stock or their tech support, but their customer service desk has been a treat.) So we're done with them now. They could be the best store in the world (...), but it was to a point where I just started to feel like they or I or both of us were cursed. So: done.

But I've fallen in love with that Dell Studio 17 laptop (yes, I will build it on the Dell site), and here is the artwork I want to splurge on because after THREE WEEKS OF COMPOCALYPSE I am pretty much beyond impulse control:


The screencap has a ton of extra white space around it because I can't figure out how to crop in freakin' MS Paint. OH GOD I WANT MY OWN STUFF BACK.

(particle_person : "Of course it's purple.")

Anyway. I'm probably going to end up spending a lot more than I intended to, but when I sell something, that'll pay it off (like kings, Caroline! KINGS!). I'm to a point where I want to max out the service/support contracts--people have spoken very highly of those, and since it's a laptop and perhaps more prone to damage, I'll probably need it; also, I'm told that if you order through "business" instead of "home user," you get to talk to tech support in the US rather than in India. (Which is nothing against India; if I were Indian and I got routed to some American whose accent I couldn't understand, I'd be equally pissed.) My point is, if I max out the service contracts, I ought to be okay, they'll come out to the house in a timely fashion, they'll replace things, good times. But that's going to cost a good bit. And I want to upgrade a few options here and there, because while laptops do not last as long as desktops, generally speaking, I intend to keep it as long as it'll work, and I want to buy ahead on the technological front. Which will also inflate the price. And then, my completely gratuitous custom artwork. So... shut up, is what I'm saying.

(LIKE KINGS!)

Our current problem: data retrieval from Betsy. Because I'm going through my backups--which were helpfully saved on three different sites online and a thumb drive--and apparently I didn't back up THE STUFF I ACTUALLY NEED. I mean, the Black Ribbon stuff and the poetry (THE POETRY?!) are okay, but somehow I neglected to actually do anything about THE SHORT STORIES, which are what one might actually be able to sell. GODDAMMIT. And I've got to have my music back; the un-backed-up files just make data retrieval a bit more urgent than before. A friend of mine in town has recommended a local IT guy, so I'm going to try him--I mean, yes, I hear that you can get an external casing and put the hard drive thinger from the actual CPU into it, but... I ain't touchin' that. With my luck and inexperience? Hell no. I'll get someone to transfer the hard drives from both Betsys--I've been holding on to Betsy 1.0 all these years for that reason--and then we'll be back in business.

(Oh God. I hope we'll be back in business.)

Meanwhile, the iPhone's doing pretty well. I really don't want to spend a huge amount of time on it--the battery tends to run down like whoa--so I'm not putting a ton of recreational apps on it. But it's nice to have a way to look at Twitter and my email now and then, especially since I don't have a computer of my own at the moment. I hate "typing" on it, though, because I'm wordy and not used to expressing myself with just two fingers. I mean, it's still a shitload better than "press a number key four times for the letter D," but I can't write the kind of emails I'm used to writing, you know? So it's good, but it's not my life. I did remember that I have a little woven blue purse--from Delia's, I think, way back from college--about the size of a 5"x8" index card, so it's perfect for toting the iPhone and its little charger cord and headphones around. I mean, not that I'm doing this oh-so-fashionably 24/7, but it's good to put the phone in while it's charging, or to chuck in the thumb drive as well while I'm moving my work stuff around the house.

(Can I just say? I looked at the thumb drive and it has a capacity of 64 MEGABYTES. WHAT IS THAT. THAT IS LIKE A FINGERNAIL PARING OF FILE STORAGE. I mean, I know it's five years old, but WHAT DO YOU EVEN PUT ON THAT? [Not the backups I actually need, apparently.] I just saw a three-pack of 2GB flash drives for $26 at The Cursed Store the other day! What the hell, people! WEAK.)

So. Anyway. Things are looking a bit up, and I would dance the dance we dance when we have our life back if I could retrieve my files off the Betsys. Wish me luck on that account.

So let me tell you what happened last night. As much as I appreciate all the coupons and deals and offers to build me a computer (seriously, thank you so much), I didn't even see those comments until it was too late, because I went and picked out what I wanted last night. And no, I pretty much didn't do any comparison pricing at all. You may not fully grasp how incredibly... I don't even know what... I am at this point. Of which I am not proud. Because normally, I'm the one who stays calm when other people have problems--often even when I have problems myself--and just sort of choke it down and logic it out and go, "Well, feeling things isn't really going to help, so let's figure out what actually needs to be done." It's an Elinor Dashwood way of life, really.

Which means that the not-feeling of things tends to build up over the years until you finally have a psychotic break.

Yeah.

I think most of it is that everything, everything, is really stressful right now. Because I didn't pitch this kind of bitch or fall to pieces when Betsy 1.0 died. My sister's moved back home so the house is just fuller than it used to be, we had two months of planning and cleaning for that family reunion, and pretty much everyone I'm talking to, all of y'all, seems to be dealing with life suck right now, so I don't know if Mercury's in retrograde or what, but things seem to be kind of bad all over. My point, which I am ever so gradually getting around to, is that I am not being smart and looking for the best bargain. I am pointing at things and going "MAKE IT GO AWAY NOW."

I think part of it is also that I can't afford any of this anyway, and since the Bank of Mama de Cleo doesn't charge interest, I might as well be in for a pound as well as a penny. I've got a new agent, I'm hoping to sell something, anything, pretty soon, and either the sale of the American 15M rights or the children's book would cover $750 just as well as it would cover $500. My sister keeps telling me that you never get a laptop from a store, you custom-order it, you should do that with any computer anyway, I'll regret spending money I didn't have to later, and she's probably right. It's just that my brain is completely fried and I am incapable of caring at the moment.

(Although all of this is starting to sound a lot like--well, having no computer of my own to work on, I spent the weekend rereading the collected works of Laura Ingalls Wilder, and I'm starting to sound a lot like Pa in the Plum Creek book: "When the wheat crop comes in, Caroline, we'll live like kings! KINGS! I'll just go ahead and build an entire house on credit." And by the fifteenth time he says this, you know, you KNOW, that there will not be any wheat crop. The fact that it's eaten by a Biblical plague of locusts is just icing on the cake of fail at that point, really. "It doesn't matter if I waste money! I can pay it all off once I sell a book!" Yeah, Pa, you just go on saying that.)

So what I'm trying to tell you is that I went to Best Buy (and saw the cute salesguy again) and looked at a couple of Dell laptops and ended up going with the Studio 17 something or other, the one with the full-sized keyboard and number pad, a 17" screen, 4GB of RAM (expandable to 8GB, I think), a duo core processor, 500 GB storage, whatever, I don't care. It's big enough to use as a more portable desktop, I can hook it up to other keyboards/mice/monitors/whatever, I can move it around for Oscar liveblog season, I'll get used to Vista eventually, free upgrade to Windows 7, whatever, I don't care.

Salesguy With a Resemblance to James McAvoy goes back in the back to get it.

Best Buy is completely out of Dell Studio 17 laptops.

The nearest one is in Alabaster.

They can get it here by Monday.

When the guy at the customer service desk told me this, I just started laughing. I mean, of course. Of course they don't have it. It wouldn't be my life if they had it in stock. I just said whatever, I've been without a computer of my own, unable to do anything but check email and news, for ten days now. Five more won't matter. Maybe I can figure out which outlets were installed by Satan by then, so as not to fry the new laptop (whose name I have already picked out, although it might jinx her to tell you what it is). So... in conclusion, I'm going to go clean for the electrician now. Whenever he gets here. Next week, probably.