Journey to Bad Vibes Mall

Apr. 29th, 2026 10:06 pm
cimorene: Woman in a tunic and cape, with long dark braids flying in the wind, pointing ahead as a green dragon flies overhead (fantasy)
[personal profile] cimorene
Today I finally made my expedition to the mall with rancid vibes! The plan was: 5 min. walk ➡️ 33 min. on bus ➡️ 10 min. walk to suburban shopping center.

Right away, on the way there I missed my bus stop and had to walk back a kilometer from the next one. The signs pointing the way to the mall just petered out when the huge fortress came in sight, and so did the sidewalk; and having never approached it other than by car, I couldn't see a way in. I ended up hiking around half of it and walking into the parking garage, and I arrived overheated even though it was cold and so windy my eyes kept watering behind my sunglasses.

At the mall I did find the main things I was looking for, but I also got confused trying to say my phone number out loud in Finnish and could only recover it by writing it; and also later got flustered and went to a café with mediocre baked goods instead of the bakery I had been planning to eat at. There were TWO sets of charity facers camped out in the main intersections of the mall, too, which added random anxiety that the day didn't need.

When leaving I found the route back to the sidewalk, which requires walking through the grounds of the apartment block next to the mall. (There's a taxi stand on the opposite side, so you must be able to reach a sidewalk there, but that's useless for my bus route.) My hip and knee both started feeling slightly stiff as I was walking back to the bus, something that has never happened when I was out walking before, and I had to slow down a bit because I couldn't stop and do range of motion exercises there. And then I got lost trying to follow the map to the bus stop, and ended up at the wrong bus stop and had to look up directions from there, and missed the bus, but that all took so long that by the time I got to the right bus stop the next one was less than 10 minutes away.

The part of the edge of Turku where this mall is has very little pedestrian infrastructure - it's highways and overpasses and no shade and parking lots. It does have paved sidewalk/bike paths beside the road, but they are plainly a grudging afterthought. It FEELS hostile there. In future if I need to go to a mall by bus I will definitely take the hour trip to downtown Turku instead, even though that will mean lots more people around. (And if you're going by car, Mylly is a much nicer mall than Skanssi.)

Eldergoth Nostalgia

Apr. 28th, 2026 05:01 pm
cupcake_goth: (Default)
[personal profile] cupcake_goth
Or to quote Rasputina, "The scene is never what it used to be".

I had a lovely, wistful sort of dream the other night in which [personal profile] solstice_lilac gave me an old compilation tape she had made long ago. (In the dream) I had a full stereo system with a tape deck that magically produced fantastic-quality audio, and I immediately played the tape. It was 120 minutes of gorgeous ethereal swirly goth music. I woke up with the melancholy realization that 1) I couldn't remember any of the bands on the dream tape, and 2) they probably didn't exist in the real world. 

But oh! It was lovely while the dream lasted. 

Nut brittle

Apr. 28th, 2026 09:00 pm
cimorene: cartoony drawing of a woman's head in profile giving dubious side-eye (Default)
[personal profile] cimorene
Anybody have a favorite recipe for nut brittle? I guess I'm just never going to be able to buy it in a store again and making it would be much easier than ordering it from far away.

The cat separation dilemma

Apr. 28th, 2026 07:47 pm
cimorene: Grayscale image of Jean Hagen as Lina Lamont in Rococo dress and powdered wig pushing away a would-be kidnapper with a horrified expression (do not want)
[personal profile] cimorene
Just imagining talking to a new therapist or new friendly acquaintance, like...

"Oh? Why do you think you've been in that depressed rut for so long?"

"Well, I haven't been in the same room as my wife in two years because of our special-needs cat."

(I have been, but not to sleep, and usually not for more than half an hour or an hour at a time.)

This situation all happened a bit at a time and seemed reasonable all along, like the boiling frogs. But taking a step back and looking at it every now and then is disorienting (and even more depressing).

The infrared scope of pointlessness

Apr. 27th, 2026 12:04 pm
cupcake_goth: (Vampire Governess)
[personal profile] cupcake_goth
(Thank you, Fall Out Boy, for providing post titles.)

I'm currently at THREAT LEVEL: BANDOM, which is different from me just deciding to listen to the bandom playlist. Mostly because it's an early sign (warning?) that my stress levels mean I'm starting to hit the "Pete Wentz gives voice to deep emotional truths in all of his lyrics" stage, which is entertaining but a little worrying. In other words, it's a super early signpost for the road to Crazytown. 

My stress levels are high because a) being out with food poisoning last week meant that I lost a lot of traction on work projects. I knocked off a few of them on Friday, and today is about nagging multiple PMs to give me the information they promised to provide LAST week. The more things change and so on. 

---

I can also tell my stress levels are high because I've been looking at blog posts/watching videos about Whitby Goth Weekend in the UK to decide if I want us to visit Whitby on our UK trip, and I keep rolling my eyes at the steampunk folks. Which is unkind and mean-spirited of me, but the romantic and vampire goths want our damn top hats, frock coats, and jabots back, dammit.

I've decided against Whitby, because my research has shown that any of the things related to Dracula are, well, kind of silly/tacky. (Part of the book is set there, for those who haven't read it.) Also, I'd much rather go to Glastonbury and roam the witchy and eccentric shops. 

---

Guess who is contemplating adding even more talismans to the 24/7 necklace stack? No, I don't know why I feel that I need to, but whooo do I.
cupcake_goth: (Leeches)
[personal profile] cupcake_goth
(The container from the refrigerated section.)

I had some for lunch Monday, felt unwell and had a lot of problems sleeping, then woke up early suffering nausea, chills and a fever, excruciating muscle pain, a bad headache, and overwhelming fatigue. 

I did the right thing and tapped out on Tuesday and Wednesday with the hopes of being back to work today. The overwhelming vertigo and inability to think clearly killed that idea.

I am, of course, worrying about 1) the massive chaos I’ll return to, and 2) that’s three sick days that aren’t part of my intermittent leave, how does that look to management, something something job security?

ugh.

Search maintenance

Apr. 22nd, 2026 09:19 am
mark: A photo of Mark kneeling on top of the Taal Volcano in the Philippines. It was a long hike. (Default)
[staff profile] mark posting in [site community profile] dw_maintenance

Happy Wednesday!

I'm taking search offline sometime today to upgrade the server to a new instance type. It should be down for a day or so -- sorry for the inconvenience. If you're curious, the existing search machine is over 10 years old and was starting to accumulate a decade of cruft...!

Also, apparently these older machines cost more than twice what the newer ones cost, on top of being slower. Trying to save a bit of maintenance and cost, and hopefully a Wednesday is okay!

Edited: The other cool thing is that this also means that the search index will be effectively realtime afterwards... no more waiting a few minutes for the indexer to catch new content.

cimorene: cartoon woman with short bobbed hair wearing bubble-top retrofuturistic space suit in front of purple starscape (intrepid)
[personal profile] cimorene
I finally got around to reinstalling Linux Mint on my laptop last week so that I could back up the last two years of photos. Going through the photos of 2024-2025 was wild. Wax and I have both been in such a fog of depression that we sometimes barely remembered the things in them, and it all feels vague and like a long time ago. Haha, great.

Anyway, the process of updating my laptop didn't go as planned.

First Tristana threw the external on the floor while it was in the act of copying, thus more-or-less bricking it (a computer repair store MIGHT be able to recover the data). It's possible that there wasn't very much on it that we don't have elsewhere, but I'm not quite sure without taking apart both desktops to access my hds from Wax's to check.

And then signing into Firefox went wrong and it failed to sync my bookmarks, even though they're all there still in the mobile version. The backup of my ff profile that contained the bookmarks was on the external but had not copied before The Incident. So I need to try removing and reinstalling the browser before I have to give up and move them manually, because apparently even though sync refusing to work is a not-uncommon issue, going by the support threads everywhere, they actually removed the "export bookmarks" button! Read more... )

Needless to say, I did consider switching browsers, but that feels like too many more steps to tackle at the moment.

I get the message ...

Apr. 16th, 2026 04:29 pm
cupcake_goth: (Default)
[personal profile] cupcake_goth
But I don't know if I'll actually follow through. You see, for the past week and a bit, no matter what tarot or oracle deck I pull a card from, they all have the same essential message: REST, GODDAMMIT. You know, that thing I'm terrible at, even tho' I encourage other people to do it. 

---

I wish the Stroppy One was more interested in wandering through thrift stores and antique malls. I always explain to him that it's not about buying things, it's about window shopping and finding really weird things. But no, he's not interested. Drat. (Tho' I do need to look into taking the occasional Tuesday or Tuesday early evening off, because that's the day of "senior discount" at the local Discovery Shop and Value Village, and hell yes I want to take advantage of that.   

Green pants (trousers) saga

Apr. 17th, 2026 12:09 pm
cimorene: closeup of four silver fountain pen nibs on white with "cimorene" written above in blackletter (blackletter)
[personal profile] cimorene
Here's another fun ADHD story. I bought a pair of pants that are a lovely jungle green over two years ago from Freddie's of Pinewood (no longer there; they were limited run) (sorta-splurge, because they're "slow fashion" + customs fee from England). They close with a button but not a hook, and I immediately ordered a hook to sew in them, but then I didn't get around to doing that for the last MORE THAN TWO YEARS because I never planned an occasion to wear them. (They aren't dressy occasion pants. They're just cotton twill.) Today I thought to myself, "I might as well sew it in, or I'll never be able to wear them once I decide to."

Then I looked in my sewing kit, my spare needle and thread and button case, the sewing table in the living room, and the little basket full of embroidery tools, which was all the places I could think of where it might be. But no luck. I can't find the hook&bar. I'll have to order another because there's not a sewing shop in town (you can buy mending materials like thread, patches, low quality needles etc including regular hooks and eyes and zippers at supermarkets and the Finnish equivalent of K-Mart, but the larger flat hook and bar that goes on waistbands is apparently less in demand).

I am planning a trip to the big mall with rancid vibes next week, because Wax wants more fun socks and you can't get those locally; but I'm afraid I'm unlikely to find one there either. The last time I ordered from an online shop that would carry them was less than a month ago, because I finally started knitting socks to give to Wax's family next winter! But of course I had no memory of the issue then.

This is obviously not just an ADHD tax, though; it's also hardly having left the house in that time (burnout, depression?) and putting these pants on a pedestal (what a distracting metaphor... pant pedestal) because I'm so jazzed to have found pants in such a great color. And feeling that I don't have any tops that are as good, though I now know what I want to knit to go with them (a striped zigzag or ripple tee something like this, with lavender and green and blue).
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