cleolinda | Checking in

So. Trying to ease back into work--there are people in my life who don't think that what I do is terribly interesting or worthwhile, and even I admit that it's only recently that it's become a gainful employment once again. So I don't tend to recognize that it's possible to overwork myself, my dreams aside. But then you look back and realize that I put out an e-book and two Fifteen Minutes (HEY DID YOU HEAR ABOUT NEW MOON IN FIFTEEN MINUTES? BECAUSE THAT'S STILL THERE) in the space of about six weeks, and that's a lot of mental effort. I mean, narrative fiction is one thing--but humor can actually be kind of nerve-wracking, because (as I'm so fond of saying), it's either funny or it's not, and if you're any good at it, you know when it's not, and you just have to sit there sweating blood until you come up with something that is. Which is why I love a nice rambly entry or recap that just happens on a whim, because it's not me trying, and it doesn't involve breaking out into metaphorical hives. So my point, and I did have one, is that I'm having to recognize that maybe I am just a little bit burnt out right now. But the more time you take off from something, the harder it is to get back into it--think of how much you dread going back to work after several days off--so I spent yesterday setting up footnotes on New Moon, should something else in the house blow up and I find myself ever needing to do a third e-book. Just putting in the numbers and reminders to myself ("Talk about that news article for this one, here's the link"), which I also did last November for the Twilight 15M, and let me tell you, a year later, that really came in handy. So I did that to ease myself back into footnoting, so on and so forth.

I think one of the things I'm going to try to do is be a bit kinder to myself, in terms of work. What I really need to do, I think, is stop trying to create deadlines and expectations for myself--which sounds odd, but the thing is, the ones I create are stressful, self-defeating, and counterproductive. I think you do need discipline, but I need to live more in the present with it--put in the daily hours and work steadily and do my best, but not worry as to whether that "best" is good enough, and if I'm "on track" and set all these grand unattainable plans, because that does not produce results for me. In fact, it makes me kind of crazy, and the best things I've done in my life were, in fact, the things I did on a whim and with no expectations. That may not work for you, but it seems to work for me. So I'm going to try to live more with my best efforts in the present and stop trying to stress myself out about the future.

(I have a Zen Garden app on my phone that starts up with little sayings, and one of them was, "To a mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders." I think it's a little like that.)

Meanwhile, in other news, we're supposed to get snow tomorrow (YAY), and the dogs are deeply depressed because it's too cold for them to go out and play (I'll let them out after lunch, once it's warmed up a bit). Also, I think my birthday present to myself will be a whole mess of eyeshadow samples from Aromaleigh, since they're only $1 each anyway, last a good long time, and you can get as many as you want. (Aromaleigh: TLE approved.)

A few quick links:

'The 40 Year Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It' is Sadly Real and Has a Trailer. And sharp-eyed folks on Twitter noticed that a certain sparklepire shows up at 1:37. (BEHOLD.) Way to steal from the easiest target ever and still fail at humor, guys.

New Moon retold with lolcats.

Vampirism Does Not Make Stalking Attractive. I think I might actually buy this shirt to sleep in. You know, as a precautionary measure.

Full info at Neil Gaiman's Twitter: "Scary and sad: Paralyzed & abandoned by insurance -The Full Story."

Remember the Twilight hate questionnaire a lot of you guys filled out? Well,

octoberland's article is up now!

From

oasis_beatles:

megmatthews20 needs eye surgery related to Marfan Syndrome, can you help?

hope_in_sight is running a general/fandom auction to raise the $1500. As far as vouching for the validity of it, I recognize Meg's username as a longtime reader/commenter here (I was actually kind of shocked when I saw who it was for, the name was so familiar to me). I haven't seen her comment in a long while, for reasons that should be obvious.

Also, I know there were a couple of similar reader requests in my LJ messages, but I swear to you, my inbox has eaten them. I rarely if ever delete messages there, and there's at least two I can't find now. I have to add, though, that I'm very wary of posting requests for causes that can't be easily verified, so keep that in mind.

(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)