cleolinda: (Default)
I promised myself I'd try to post more often, and then I... lost all focus and executive function. I'm not sure why? I'm in a reasonably good mood for the most part. I think there may be a kind of depression that's a downswing of sorts, but it doesn't necessarily affect you emotionally as it does physically. See, I'm losing the will to write even as we speak, my attention just sort of wants to... dribble off. So, let me write about the first thing I can think of just to get something down:

Read more... )


(Patreon! Twitter! Tumblr!)
cleolinda: (Default)
First of all! In order to lock in better fee rates, I've gone ahead and launched a low-key tip jar Patreon; I also have a Ko-fi page for one-time tips. Once I've counted my spoons and gotten back into the swing of things, I may add other/higher tiers. Right now, it's a single $1 tier, because I'd rather be able to use my Patreon as a de facto homepage/newsletter where you can see where and what I've posted. The first thing I'm looking at is adding voice posts (short; not excruciating podcast-length), and, in fact, I may record this entry as a voice post. I think it might help to hear the "ayyy, it is what it is" tone of my voice while I discuss health setbacks. Because, believe it or not, while I am dragging my achy carcass around the house, I still feel a lot better now than I have in a long while.

 
@cleolinda: I'm trying to get back into social media and/or blogging after taking A While off due to an array of health problems; basically the Magicians post just provided an impetus. And now I'm out here like, "....................hi, so" 
 
[The social media in question is Twitter, and occasionally Tumblr.]

@cleolinda: I would like to get back to writing about pop/media culture but also I am not in a real good place to get into Controversy Thunderdome rn, so I'm looking either at older media (y'all know me, this is was always a thing I wrote about) or personal entries.
 
@cleolinda: ("Controversy is not good for me right now," she said, two days after a few thousand words of "THIS IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD")
 
@cleolinda: I have always written, sincerely but also purposefully, about being bipolar/depressive in a very "hey yeah this is how my doctor and I manage it, nbd" way, but I dropped several other things in that post and am considering addressing... all that, maybe
 
@cleolinda: So now I have this giant four-dimensional tesseract of personal topics and anecdotes in my head and I have NO IDEA where to start. Maybe with the Stop Bullying Me For A Kirk Cameron Sticker I Didn't Even Want story, which 1) explains a lot 2) is kind of hilarious
 
@cleolinda: So at this point, I'm looking at (numbered lists make me feel secure) 1) a catch-up post on where my health is now (neuropathy intensifies!) 2) a brief Magicians follow-up 3) hilarious and/or harrowing personal stories (hilarrowing?)
 
 
Read more... )
cleolinda: (Default)
I'd been meaning to pull my tweets from the winter I had surprise spinal surgery; Twitter Advanced Search dredged them up for me with the organizational flair of a plate of scrambled eggs, so I've done my best to compile them logically. What really surprises me is that I don't remember being this upbeat about the whole experience. Or hallucinating about rhubarb, for that matter.


The winter of 2017-2018: 

Read more... )
 
 -


Continue on to the next post (if you wish), which is a follow-up from, uh, now--May 2019. 
 

HELLO

Jan. 6th, 2016 02:17 pm
cleolinda: (lolcat)
I have not checked in for a while! Also I'm so used to Twitter that I totally forgot about comments here and I NEED TO CHECK THOSE OMG.


  • I saw a Star War and immediately fell in love with it even though I was never that much into either trilogy before and it ate my Tumblr for like two weeks because I was too lazy to check my dash for other things to post, sorry about that


  • The Emo Kylo Ren meme is like my favorite thing ever and I'm not even sorry


  • WHERE IS ALL THE REY STUFF


  • NO I MEAN THE STUFF I CAN AFFORD (omg Hot Toys though)


  • This is important


  • I even got my very own phone-controlled BB-8 for Christmas. I have a problem


  • COUNTDOWN TO ROGUE ONE


  • still fighting the moth war, dammit


  • Medication update: Sprintec has absolutely wrecked my complexion over the last 4-5 months, so I am nursing it back to health with a minimalist regimen of Thayer's toner and CeraVe moisturizer


  • The Aromaleigh X-Files box/extras will be coming out in February, excite! (Shop is closed at the moment while Kristen moves.) Here's a closer look at Genome, plus quick looks at the other three eyeshadows. I'm pretty sure there will be additional non-box colors available as well--an "expansion pack"--but I haven't seen them yet


  • Mood is pretty good even considering seasonal depression; I'm just a completely useless lazy cuss, which I realized is because IT'S JANUARY

In other words, like pretty much everyone else, I have tons of stuff to do, but all I want to do is curl up with a book (new Alison Weir soon!) and hot chocolate.
cleolinda: (she-ra)
Finally recovering from my probably convention-induced sinus infection. Even after I fought off a tickle of a cough that only lasted a day or two, I felt weirdly clammy, not-feverish, and exhausted for another whole week. I mean, honestly, I was still that sick six weeks after Dragon Con 2014, so I'll take it. There's also some personal stuff going on--I'm used to a lot of creepy on the internet, but experiencing some of it IRL this month kind of rattled me, I think. Read more... )
cleolinda: (pallas cat - intrigued)
As a short update before I get back to working on "Aperitivo"--had my two-hour fasting glucose test yesterday.

Read more... )


Anyway, that's all for now--mammogram came back clean; first set of blood test results were either good or already being treated; should hear about glucose test early next week, but we're pretty sure I'm pre-diabetic, so I'm not really expecting any surprises there. Spiro is going well; will start Sprintec tomorrow and weekly vitamin D on Wednesday in order to schedule them around the convention. Here's hoping I am at Peak Cleo by then. Toss up the Cat Signal if you need me.

UPDATES

Aug. 16th, 2015 12:27 pm
cleolinda: (lolcat)
Thank you so much for all the support in the comments Thursday--and for all the courage in sharing some of your own stories. I tried to answer as many as I could, and then had to take a break for the day--I'm going to go back and answer some more, but even if I don't answer yours, please know that I'm reading them all, and I appreciate them all so much.

@cleolinda: Top LJ posts currently are ONTD and my ovaries. Good times.

Health updates )

Dragon Con plans )

IMPORTANT:

@Tattle_Crime: TC has procured some fantastic goodies for the #Hannibal fan panel at @DragonConHorror! @DeLaurentiisCo @lorettaramos [signed script picture!]

I was in charge of giving away a couple of those last year as a surprise, and that was really my favorite moment of the entire fan panel--the collective gasp when I read off the actors' names (and you know exactly whose name I saved for last, for maximum astonishment). This year, Scott Thompson and Aaron Abrams will also be at the convention, so if you are a Hannibal fan, this is definitely the year to go. I don't know if I'll get to meet them or not, but if I do, and manage not to run and hide, I will report back.

Unfortunately, I am pretty much out of Movies in Fifteen Minutes books to give away. (I owe someone one from last year; I'll bring that and try to find you.) I do have some books with the short fantasy story that got published this year; I might be able to bring a couple of those. As always, I will sign basically anything anyone puts in front of me, because I am still somewhat amazed that anyone wants me to. Last year I had people sign a little Evil Supply Co. notebook, so it was more like "omg sign my yearbook!" "you too!" As far as I know, I'm doing just the one Hannibal fan panel again, no table signings; I will be roaming free this year unless something else comes up. Who knows, I might even get to attend other people's panels (GASP).


ALSO IMPORTANT:

@aromaleigh: Save the date - Hannibal "Primavera" exclusive box ordering is 8/17 at 3 PM EST!

Which is to say, TOMORROW. While there are still tons of open-edition collections (including the 30 This Is My Design eyeshadows from last year. Read the back stories here), Kristen wants to move towards smaller batches. So this year's Hannibal colors are a really, really limited edition. There will be two box themes, I think--the Florence-themed Primavera, pre-orders of which will go very quickly on Monday (SERIOUSLY IF YOU WANT IT SET AN ALARM AND JUMP ON THAT), and a later Red Dragon box, which we'll be working on after the season ends.

That's all for now, I think? I am getting very close to finishing the "Secondo" recap, and I'm already feeling so much better that I'm hoping to blaze through "Aperitivo" pretty quickly (I have probably just jinxed it). Anyway, keep an eye out for "Secondo," it's a big one, huge Dracula tangent, you can only hope to contain me, etc.
cleolinda: (pallas cat - *catface*)
@cleolinda: Anxious about doctor visit. Have to go, don't want to go.

@cleolinda: I'll talk about it more elsewhere, rather than inflict the details on everyone. It's a pro-active effort, not serious illness.


I don't normally go into this kind of detail, but I'd like to try this time, rather than have people be worried I've been diagnosed with something catastrophic, and because I think it might be helpful. But I'll go ahead and warn you, this involves reproductive health issues and a bit of gynecological trauma. Very vaguely described--"it hurt"--so this is more a warning of emotional trauma than anything. And then it just gets weird. But it'll explain my cryptic "can't write because health" statements over the years.

Basically, I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) in college; it's a not-uncommon hormonal imbalance that can lead to some really unpleasant symptoms (as well as actual, extremely painful, even dangerous, ovarian cysts). Usually it's treated with hormonal birth control, simply enough, and I was on that for a couple of years in my early twenties. The first visit to the gynecologist circa 1998ish (?) went fine, pelvic exam and all; the second visit didn't involve a physical exam; the third was... traumatic. The third was weird. Read more... )
cleolinda: (lolcat)
One of the more recent health issues I ever-so-vaguely mentioned is chronic back pain--I'm not sure if it's due to some stealth injury I don't remember or if it's related to PCOS--and it's just really hard to concentrate. For the last two or three weeks. (Not the best I've ever slept, either.) Basically I'm overdue on a deadline and I'm just going to have to put everything aside until I can get that finished. I can still take an hour to hang out on Twitter during the show tonight--I'm still keeping up with the show, for that matter--but I'm just going to have to remain cheerfully behind on the recaps for a while.

(Speaking of Twitter, I have been experimenting with Storify and Sleepy Hollow.)

I'm to a point where I go around saying "it is what it is" a lot. Like, if you're stuck in a traffic jam that you clearly can't do anything about, there's no point in rending your garments over it. You look at the time and the place that you're currently in and figure out what to do with that, the best way to move forward or the most productive way to pass the time, and that's the situation, and it is what it is. (I often say this to my mother during literal traffic jams, hence the example.) I've taken a good bit of Aleve and I'm rambling. (Man, you do not even want to know how much I took to drag my ass to Catching Fire last weekend.) My point is that I'm just trying to keep my priorities mellow, or something, and keep putting one foot in front of the other as best as I can. I am extremely, extremely lucky that my moods are pretty stable; my energy levels have taken a seasonal hit, but I don't feel "depressed," and I'm trying to hold on to that as long as I can.


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Updates

Sep. 24th, 2013 11:27 am
cleolinda: (dire ravenstag gunmettle)
Okay, I have nearly posted this entry like four different times, then held back for some reason, then needed to update it again, and it's finally turned into this mulch pile of an entry that I keep turning over every couple of days. IT NEEDS TO BE POSTED.

So. Doing somewhat better. Blood pressure is still a little high but nearly normal, after an initial week of self-imposed semi-bed-rest. (I gave up on trying to answer the comments on the previous entry, but thanks for your good thoughts, guys.) The day after that med check that I mentioned, when hypertension came up as a possible cause of my constant headaches, I stayed in bed and the headaches vanished. I've only them on the few rainy days since (which is normal for me). It took a while, and I'm still having to keep a pretty sharp eye on it, but I don't think I'm going to have to go on medication for it. Honestly, I spent the whole week until the GP visit being really anxious, but rationally anxious, like, how bad off am I, exactly? So, scared and a little sad, even.

And now, I think I've gone into a manic upswing, which means that I'm calm and rational, sure, but I can't focus. I'm having a really hard time maintaining a coherent train of thought; my thoughts actively wander, if that makes any sense. Like, to the point where it's difficult to read, the way it's difficult to get through a really dry text at 11 pm when you're supposed to have read it for class the next day, you know? It's like a mental dizziness, not a physical one. I had good ideas on Saturday, then was super productive on Sunday, and then it just all fell apart on Monday. (I had such a good idea for the book on Sunday, almost something of a game-changer, that I'm concerned it's just the mania talking and I'm going to do all this work on it and then sit here next Monday and wonder what the hell I was thinking.) I know, too, that I'm more liable to be cranky or lose my temper when I'm manic, and... that's not good for my blood pressure. Like, maybe I just need to not talk to people, any of them, at all, until this passes. But I digress. Mostly I'm managing it with, like, lavender and lemongrass-based BPAL blends, chamomile tea, and a glass of wine at night. The combination of my actual antidepressants was so difficult--painful, even--to get to a comfortable balance that, if adding on simple things like tea and aromatherapy are enough to settle me down for the week or two I need it--well, screwing with that is not something I would do lightly.

Here. Have a corgi being vacuumed.

Podcasts and TV shows I did (and, uh, did not) catch up on: Read more... )

Update

Sep. 12th, 2013 10:13 pm
cleolinda: (Default)
So! In addition to a post about flowery Season 2 shenanigans, I mentioned some health problems. (SPOILER: I am not dying.) It started with headaches--constant migraines when we had thunderstorms for about a month straight; I was pretty confident that air pressure was the cause, in no small part because they would ease up if/when it actually started raining. Even if it was sunny and the forecast was clear--if I had a headache, you best take an umbrella with you. So I spent about a month being a human barometer, and after a couple of weeks of agony, I figured out that if I just took two Aleve in the morning whether I needed it or not, that would either stave off the day's headache or at least ease it up a little.

Then we had two or three weeks of sunshine and... I started getting different headaches. They just really felt different, and didn't respond to Aleve, Advil, Tylenol, what-have-you--when I finally tried cold/allergy medicine (Coricidin), that made something of a dent in them, so I thought, okay: sinus pressure headaches. Summer's changing into fall, it's probably my allergies (unless it's the dead of winter, it's always my allergies). But nothing was really helping. And I was kind of starting to lose my mind, or my shit, or something, because I couldn't even hear myself think over the dull constant roar with a nice little spike behind my eye, like a cherry in the cocktail. Literally, in the literal sense of literally, "could not hear myself think." Like my brain was just full of static and there were some words in there, when I was trying to write, but I couldn't "hear" them long enough to string anything together. And all y'all started telling me on Twitter to go to a doctor. Well, yes. I had a scheduled quarterly med check this week, so I said, I'll go run all this past my psychiatrist ("BUT THAT'S NOT A MEDICAL DOCTOR!" Well, she is--just not an internist) and see if she thinks I ought to see someone else about it. (What y'all did not know is that she is constantly telling me to go get checkups with other doctors, so I was pretty confident she was not going to pull a Dr. Sutcliffe on me, as it were.) In other words, I trust her to be knowledgeable enough and trustworthy enough to be like, "Not my division, go see someone else, now."

Then I had a massive panic attack Sunday night.

Read more... )



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cleolinda: (Default)
So, I haven't been around much. I should probably pop up a little more often.






Alabama was completely untouched by the Frankenstorm, so we're fine; yesterday was sunny and a little windy, and that was all. (I hope all y'all are okay.) For the last two months, I've mostly been holed up in the Fortress of Solitude on the corner of Anemia Street and Migraine Avenue, although I'm hoping that a new pair of glasses will help the latter. (Maybe I can upgrade to Chronic Fatigue Gardens pretty soon.) Currently fighting off a chest cold and steeling myself to look at a lot of unanswered email. The upside is, I've gotten a ton of work done on the book, although I was supposed to finish it tomorrow... nine years ago. So, you know. There's that. How about that new Star Wars movie, then?



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cleolinda: (serafina)
I probably need to say some things. I am still very tired from a persistent fevery death blarg, however. NONETHELESS the Dark Shadows trailer is out and it is not what any of us expected and I kind of love Eva Green it.

Read more... )



ALSO IN OTHER NEWS they keep putting out Prometheus trailers--twenty seconds! A FULL MINUTE! Two and a half minutes sometime later today!--and for real, Christopher Nolan needs to step up his trailer game because The Dark Knight is one of my favorite movies but I would pretty much chew my own arm off and hit Batman in the face with it if he were standing between me and this movie.

Read more... )

Also-also, all the reviews and Twitter comments from people who saw The Hunger Games at its premiere last week indicate that all persons involved have knocked it out of the park. My understanding is that Tonner will preview their Katniss doll (!!!!) the week the movie comes out. I am working on many things to post, like Secret Life and Varney and what-all, but: fevery death blarg. My health has not been good for a long while now. However, I obviously have to hang on until I see The Hobbit, so we ought to be good for a while. IT IS A GREAT TIME TO BE ALIVE.


ETA: ahhhhhhhh I just watched the full trailer when it went live, go to go.amctheatres.com/prometheus and it'll be at the end of the Q&A replay, omg some movie site post it nowwwww





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cleolinda: (Default)
I probably need to say some things. I am still very tired from a persistent fevery death blarg, however. NONETHELESS the Dark Shadows trailer is out and it is not what any of us expected and I kind of love Eva Green it.

Read more... )



ALSO IN OTHER NEWS they keep putting out Prometheus trailers--twenty seconds! A FULL MINUTE! Two and a half minutes sometime later today!--and for real, Christopher Nolan needs to step up his trailer game because The Dark Knight is one of my favorite movies but I would pretty much chew my own arm off and hit Batman in the face with it if he were standing between me and this movie.

Read more... )

Also-also, all the reviews and Twitter comments from people who saw The Hunger Games at its premiere last week indicate that all persons involved have knocked it out of the park. My understanding is that Tonner will preview their Katniss doll (!!!!) the week the movie comes out. I am working on many things to post, like Secret Life and Varney and what-all, but: fevery death blarg. My health has not been good for a long while now. However, I obviously have to hang on until I see The Hobbit, so we ought to be good for a while. IT IS A GREAT TIME TO BE ALIVE.




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HAAAAACK

Mar. 6th, 2012 06:34 pm
cleolinda: (susan)
I should probably say something interesting, but I was having some blood pressure problems on Oscar weekend (stress-related), and then once I got through that, I caught my mother's cold, and then I got over it but she gave it to my stepfather and apparently I caught a completely separate iteration of it from him, because I spontaneously came down with a chest cold, including sore throat and hacking cough, at about 6:38 last night (the friend I was on the phone with can confirm this. "HACK! I think I just swallowed something wrong...? What is thACKHACKHACKHACKHARRRRRFFFFFFF"). My point is: Cinna (who I can't get to embed for the life of me).

Also, Katniss takes on Mugatu, to the shock of Wes Bentley's beard. Read more... )


So. In conclusion, not doing too well at the moment, but keep on keepin' on. Also, Cinna.




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HAAAAACK

Mar. 6th, 2012 06:26 pm
cleolinda: (Default)
I should probably say something interesting, but I was having some blood pressure problems on Oscar weekend (stress-related), and then once I got through that, I caught my mother's cold, and then I got over it but she gave it to my stepfather and apparently I caught a completely separate iteration of it from him, because I spontaneously came down with a chest cold, including sore throat and hacking cough, at about 6:38 last night (the friend I was on the phone with can confirm this. "HACK! I think I just swallowed something wrong...? What is thACKHACKHACKHACKHARRRRRFFFFFFF"). My point is: Cinna (who I can't get to embed for the life of me).


Also, Katniss takes on Mugatu, to the shock of Wes Bentley's beard. Read more... )


So. In conclusion, not doing too well at the moment, but keep on keepin' on. Also, Cinna.




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cleolinda: (galadriel helpful)
So I went in for my quarterly med check three months ago, and about a week later had some long-postponed-because-ehhhhhh bloodwork done. Yesterday I went in for another quarterly check and finally bothered to find out what the results were--my psych had mailed me a copy of the results, but I just... well. I was anxious about it, I was afraid to find out, and I figured that if I was dying, someone would probably tell me. No thyroid issues, my blood sugar was (surprisingly) okay, no diabetes, something something blood count something MCHC low, my good and bad cholesterols were a little out of whack but that's probably the American way--

"Wait, blood count? That means--anemia?"Read more... )



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cleolinda: (Default)
Jesus, how long have I not blogged in?

How long have I not blogged in. This is what is left of my brain, y'all. All my grammar is belong to novel.

WE HAVE TO GO BACK, KATE )



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cleolinda: (ghost background)
Jesus, how long have I not blogged in?

How long have I not blogged in. This is what is left of my brain, y'all. All my grammar is belong to novel.

WE HAVE TO GO BACK, KATE )



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cleolinda: (twilight lolcat)
I can't believe I am having to use the "flesh-eating catbitis" tag aga... wow, that was four years ago? Huh. Anyway, Monday morning, Bad Cat started meowing plaintively at me, and I was like, what? What is it? Your food is right there, your litterbox is clean, what is the deal? You want me to pick you up?

Hard-learned lesson: The answer is never "Pick Bad Cat up."

The thing about a Bad Cat mauling is just when you think he ought to be letting go by now, he digs his fangs in deeper. Read more... )



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