Cleolinda everywhere

Harry Potter is the Biggest Worldwide Debut Ever with $476M. That is to say, nearly half a billion dollars, blowing through the Eclipse midnight record, the New Moon opening day record, and the Dark Knight weekend record. From what I've seen of Comments on the Interwebs, Twilight fans and Batman fans are united in shouting YEAH WELL WAIT TILL OUR LAST MOVIE COMES OUT, and then they realize they're on the same side and run away to wash that icky fanboy/girl off. Whatever helps you sleep at night, kids.

Guillermo Del Toro and Emma Watson for Beauty and the Beast?; David Yates reveals his next project PP (post-Potter) (whoa, The Stand?); How Harry Potter Changed Publishing (three words: midnight release parties); 10 great, and 10 no-so-great, things about Harry Potter. And here's our discussion post, with a--well, not a defense, but an alternate take on the epilogue. Also:

@bestforfilm: We're opening a bar called Harry Shotters. Drinks include Margaritaskeeters, Cedric Daquiris, Mojicho Changs... #harrypotterdrinks

Concoctions include Pinot Gringotts, Episkey Sours, Mudbloody Marys, Blast Ended Skrewtdriver, Hex on the Beach, Ginny and Tonic, Ron and Coke, Creme De Menter, and my favorite, Madame Hooch.

Since y'all have waited ever so patiently, let's skip straight to TheOneRing.net Exclusive: Behold! Thorin Oakenshield and Orcrist! ( BEHOLD! )

Peoples of the Internet:

My experiments FOR SCIENCE may have finally gone too far.



Wow, those squirrels look tasty.


* Actual products used.

Peoples of the Internet, I am an idiot. Let me tell you why:

( Read more... )

Today on Tumblr: Some really interesting stuff. I really liked the lovers' portrait brooches and My Cat's Locket.

Robert Culp, star of ‘I Spy,’ dead at 79.

'Iron Man 2' Poster, Starring These People -- AND AN EXPLOSION; About That Time Iron Man 2 Reshot All of Olivia Munn's Footage.

EXCLUSIVE: Liam Neeson Cast As LBJ In 'Selma,' Cedric The Entertainer To Play Ralph Abernathy.

Clint Eastwood Confirms to Movieline: Next Project is Dustin Lance Black-Penned J. Edgar Hoover Biopic.

Disney's 'Maleficent' Gets a Writer, Tim Burton Still Interested.

'The Lone Ranger' To Be An Origin Story, Jerry Bruckheimer Says. 

Paul W.S. Anderson to Direct 3D Buck Rogers.

Knightley in 'Emperor's Children,' 'True Grit' Moves to Texas and Foxx Pens 'Laverne & Shirley.'

Meet Michel Gondry's Family: 'Thorn in the Heart' Trailer.

trailer_spot: Adèle Blanc-Sec, Secret in Their Eyes, Good Bad Weird, Get Him to Greek, Harry Brown, White Stripes.

Famous Movie Quotes in Chart Form. 

Avatar Release Launches Initiative to Plant 1 Million Trees.

Twilight: New Moon Sells 4 Million DVDs First Weekend. Meanwhile, as previously noted, I have a mild fear of wax museums. This is not helping. (ETA: AND SO IT BEGINS.)

Hey! Hey! You know what I'm even more afraid of?

eruvadhril: "Cleo. Cleo. Cleo. Sparklepires exist AND THEY ARE A SQUID. The name of the squid is actually 'The Vampire Squid from Hell,' and its defense mechanism is not ink, but bioluminescent fluid with which it DAZZLES its attackers. One of the guys at that link actually says 'Their defense is to dazzle.'"

That. I'm more afraid of THAT. Put some elbows on it and I'll never sleep again.

YAYS, my Aromaleigh samples came in!




As previously mentioned, this is my (early) birthday present to myself. I got a ton of similar colors for the express purpose of trying them out side by side, to figure out which one(s) I like best--at $1 a sample, I figure I'm good for it. I have very deep-set eyes, so I can't wear terribly dark colors; I'm mostly looking at softer, lighter shades. After some deliberation, I have decided that I am neither a cool nor a warm, but rather a neutral, and I think I might actually try some of their foundation powders next. I've had better luck with Bare Escentuals (also a loose mineral makeup) than with other powder or liquid foundations, but it's still not quite as invisible-feeling as I'd like, and, again: one dollar per sample at Aromaleigh. Even an entire container would be cheaper than Bare Escentuals. It's worth trying.

(All of my heterosexual male readers just ran off to chug beer or headbutt each other like frightened deer or something.)

I think I'm down to Wish ("A peachy golden pink with slight iridescence") or Aurora ("A pinky-beige plush matte base scattered with tiny shimmers of blue and pink. Fit for a princess." I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE) at this point. Hell, if I'm going to bed anyway, I might as well just do each eyelid a different color.

As for the three lipstick samples, I think I will start with Nuance, and then maybe the Rosewood blush.

(OH MY GOD SHE'S TALKING ABOUT BLUSH, RUN AWAY!)

Oh, and I still need to do photo tests of their three Twilight powders for you. FOR SCIENCE. After which I will probably break into a Twilight Merchandise Curse rash. (...What? How do you think I got The Littlest Edward to sparkle?) OH OH I HAVE MORE TWILIGHT CANDY TO TRY because I am fearless. And apparently suicidal.

I'm still getting used to Lizzie's touchpad mouse, but I think we can have a little more linkspam. ( GALADRIEL YAY )



(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

New Moon in Fifteen Minutes.

Yeah, I probably struck a couple of True Believer nerves in there. Also, I let it run long on purpose. Haters to the left. It was HARD and I am not going to do JACK SHIT for the next couple of days. HUZZAH.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

So I've been having these really annoying dizzy spells lately


and after going through a mental checklist of what the problem could be, I'm starting to think that it's a combination of 1) a stealth sinus infection (I have had a cough for a while, even though I haven't really felt congested), 2) not eating enough (sinus ick makes me feel queasy, as does emotional stress, 3) probably not staying hydrated enough, and 4) said emotional stress, which is coming at me from several angles and is kind of pissing me off. As it turns out, this week and the week after are turning out to be the two busiest work ("work") weeks in a long, long time if not the entire year itself, with two internet pieces and the second e-book needing to be written, plus the movie itself tonight and the podcast on Sunday (which I am so looking forward to, but it IS another thing on my calendar, you know? And the laptop hasn't come in yet, angst angst fnarr etc.), and I would really, REALLY like everyone to quit dumping their bullshit on me. I am not directing this at any one person, Friends or Family Member(s) Who Might Somehow Be Reading This. And yes, it is completely selfish of me to say that my needs require that I not deal with your problems right now. But seriously: they do. Two weeks. That's all I'm asking. Just THIS week, even. Stop dumping your shit on me and maybe I'll stop needing a fainting couch, who knows.

What I really want right now is someone around to spoil and pet and baby me. Like... someone of the opposite gender. Because you know how it is--whichever gender you're into, there's something different about having someone thereof to take care of you, someone who's actually into you. I hate saying "I want a man around to take care of me," because it's not like that--it's like, sometimes I want to ride in from the battlefield and be sheltered and patched up and refreshed every once in a while, and then go riding back out to finish fighting my own battles. And I would do the same for whoever I was with. And I want shelter right now. I guess that's the thing--I've said this before, but I don't think of love as a happy ending; I think of it as a beginning. And I wish I could begin.

Exposure to Twilight is probably a bad idea right now, isn't it?

On a twinklier note, security is apparently going to be tight at this preview tonight, and they are going to search people for phones and confiscate them (tag and bag them to return to you afterward), because God forbid someone should try to capture the dazzle on film. What I really wanted to do was use the Voice Memo function on the iBella to record the audience screaming during the Attempted Sparklecide (it's the one scene slo-mo enough for me to know exactly when to hit record), because, seriously: best LJ audio post ever. Just post that, no title, no entry text, just the roar of sparkle-inflamed estrogen. And they would DENY me this. I am INFINITELY CHAGRINED.

Oh well. I'm probably going to end up sitting through endless wolfing seeing it again with other people, most likely my mother and aunt, who want to see "Robert" it as well, so maybe I can grab some audio at a less ~*special*~ screening.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

So. Not feeling much better; spent the weekend in a very grim, self-pitying funk. But I'm going back to work ("work") today because you have to move on with life. I think I'm actually going through kind of a post-partum project-completion slump, what with the first e-book finished. The only problem is, I now have to finish the second one, which casts a sort of "Sorry, your princess is in another castle" pall over the whole thing. C'est la vie.

Also, I should probably get on this Twilight tea-tasting thing. (That's our godforsaken vampire-related beverage. I was not lucky enough to get any TruBlood--sadly, because I hear that stuff is actually really good, a blood orange-flavored soda or something.) Question: what's the best way to make hot tea? I usually drink iced tea, so I have no idea--water at an actual boil? Steep for five minutes? I don't even know, and I don't think these things came with instructions. I'm probably going to make all three samples at once and get it over with--swish and spit if it's really awful, I guess. God help us all. But especially me.

Meanwhile, a college friend of mine is a movie critic now, and he announced that he could get me a screener copy of The Twilight Porn (tagline: "When you can fuck forever... you can fuck everybody"). I've never even seen actual hardcore, and I don't think my embarrassment squick could handle starting with this, but I know of someone else who might be willing to take that bullet. We'll see. I know I keep trying Twilight products "for science," but I don't love nobody that much, least of all science. "Twilight porn" is an extremely uncomfortable phrase as it is; these are two words that do not want to be in the same sentence together. Twilight is huddled in the corner weeping, and porn is banging on the quotation marks trying to get out.

Also-also: The Sparkenpire is now available at Toys'R'Us. You can, in fact, see the actual sparkle coating if you zoom in. (It's getting to be the season for Twi-spam, isn't it? I'll corral those into separate entries after this, for convenience of avoidance.) In cheerfuller Barbie developments: Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper, and Joan Jett dolls.

(In response to "Hello, my name is Twilight and I am a Dracula": I R not a Dracula!)

And finally: Tour of Terror II dates and locations have been announced. This time it's at various Hot Topics AND Nordstroms! I KNOW YOU ARE EXCITED. (All the replies to my link on Twitter were along the lines of "NOT MY CITY, OH GOD NOOOOOO.") The closest it gets to me is the ATL, which is still too damn close. (I don't know what Atlanta did to deserve this; it already got burnt to the ground once.) Invest in riot gear. You're going to need it.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Okay, look. I can't be at the computer a whole lot and I can post links even less, particularly since I'm cleaning madly for the lunchtime electricians, but we have got to get a few things out of the way because this is the subject of half my inbox this morning:

Yes, I have seen the sparklecock. Yes, you too can now own your own unofficially Twilight-themed glitter dildo. Well, technically I haven't looked at it yet, although I have read the description ("THROW IT IN THE FRIDGE FOR THAT AUTHENTIC EXPERIENCE"?), because I am on the family computer and I will never, ever be able to explain this.

And yes, Edward's life-size shadow can watch you while you use it.

Excuse me, I have to go bleach my mind's eye now.


(Also, Amazon's Tonner prom exclusive Bella has her own little leg cast. Apparently the doll's product name--the way the SDCC Edward exclusive was "Hungry"--is "Turn Me." I... I really don't like thinking about all three of these items being in the same room.)

I DO BELIEVE THE TONNER FALL PREVIEW IS UP

( OMFG )


ETA: I ALMOST FORGOT! Better looks at Barbie and the Sparkenpire together they fight crime. For certain terrifying values of "better."

So my stepfather's family is having a 75th family reunion or something, I don't even know--they are very big on the reunions--and we're now hosting a dinner (more of a grill-out, really) the first week of August as part of the festivities. Originally about ten or twelve people were going to come, but now we're looking at thirty-one, and my mother is PANICKED. My parents are having to do a lot of stuff to the house, partly because our house is just a money pit like that,* but mostly because the dogs wrought hell on it the year they were puppies. So we're having to replace the den carpet (the dogs chewed it up), the kitchen wallpaper (the dogs chewed it up), the slatted door into the foyer (third verse, same as the first), and the ferns the squirrels ate (variety!). Also, we've already resodded the little backyard (again: dogs) and replaced the gardenia and camellia bushes they wrecked (the dogs used to run run run run runnnn around them in tight little circles, and then, when they were done, pass out and nap against them) with azaleas (MY PRETTY SCENTED FLOWERS NOOOOOOOOOOO). And, of course, the Angry Jasmine, which has been buzzcut twice and only come back wrathier, and the yellowjacket nest within that had to be zapped. Oh, and the countertop in the kitchen has a huge crack in it for some reason, and one of the burners on the stove died, so we're replacing both of those (hence the helpful delivery guy with the dishwasher advice). My stepfather's out back sanding out the claw scratches on that slatted door and repainting it, and my mother and I just got back from buying incidentals at Wal-mart--extra pans for the banana pudding, foil pans to keep fifty hamburgers warm in the oven, a few wooden folding table-trays, new towels for the hall bathroom...

* Did I ever tell you that we recently found wadded up newspaper instead of insulation in the house walls? Yeah. I remember when this street was being developed and the houses were being built--my best friend at the time moved here--and apparently our neighbor's ex-husband cut all damn kinds of corners. There's a reason he's her ex now, let's put it that way. God bless this house, I love it to death, but we've had to redo it by brick and stick over the last eight years.

And then... we went to Hobby Lobby. Mom needed to replace some of the raggedy silk flowers by the front door. My God. That is one of the most dangerous, terrifying places I have ever been. We wanted to buy everything. I wanted to start doing crafts I had previously not even known existed. All I needed was craft-safe sealant/varnish and some cheap paintbrushes to improve the sparkle* of a certain vampirus scintilla minimus; I was very good and only splurged additionally on some Glue Dots, but I had to be forcibly removed from the doll furniture aisle if we were ever going to get home. In theory, my mother only needed silk flowers and artificial moss for the artificial tree** (guess who tore up the old moss). That... is not what she left with. All I know is, I hope my stepfather likes $10 Murano glass giraffes, because we've got some now.

* As a point of ever-so-little interest, here's what the previous Secret Life installment looked like before our sparkle got rained out (I never actually tried to take the pictures described). Honestly, I think the version posted turned out better, but there's a nice mental image that got left behind.

** Every single time I pass the fake tree, I make sure to greet it à la Wahlberg. "Hey, tree... you're looking good. You been working out? Say hi to your mother for me."

Meanwhile, I tried the new full 200 mg Lamictal dose on Wednesday. Mid-afternoon, I suddenly felt like crying. Not a good sign. Sounds like it's time to start cutting the pills to get some approximation of a 175 mg compromise--which I hate, because you lose some of the dose what with the crumbling and all. Maybe I'll just cut a bit of the end off (it's a diamond-shaped pill) and call it a day. Right now, though, I've gone back to my normal 150, because I've got something that has to be finished ASAP and I don't have time for this crying shit. On the other hand, I've been feeling a bit manic, which can't be good either. Maybe it's just the panicked OMG REFURBISH energy in the house right now, I don't know.