Toil and trouble
May. 27th, 2011 11:09 amI'm skipping around at the moment because
I think I had a mild hypomanic episode today; I spent the afternoon seemingly hellbent on researching myself stupid. (Wait, can you do that? By definition, can you learn yourself stupid?) Things I found out:
( She also poisoned others in her spare time )
I don't want to sound like Gawker's Crazy Us Weekly Guy (you know, the one who was trying to prove that he was destined to run the magazine and marry Jessica Alba, using Crazy Math), but I do kind of believe in signs. Like, just as little bits of encouragement saying, "You're on the right track." Which is probably the same way Crazy Guy looks at it, but... we won't dwell on that idea. I was researching ghost stories and general weirdness today, to get an idea of the kind of local legends I could put together for a fictional place, and I remembered that we had a copy of More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark around here somewhere. Now, I had never actually read this book; the one I read in middle school was the original Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, with the terrifying head on the cover. Seriously, the stories themselves aren't even that special; it's the frickin' illustrations that have terrified kids for like twenty-five years now. (Man, I want the boxed set so bad.) My point is, I had never actually read this book before; it was my sister's, and I remembered seeing it in a box when we moved. So I go fish it out now, and what's the first thing I see when I open it? For Lauren on the dedication page. Lauren is my real name. That's what a frickin' "sign" looks like, Crazy Guy. Not "the first letter of the name of the character she played is the third letter of my favorite vegetable."
(Friday's topic of research: herbal abortifacients. Yesterday's topic of research: gout.)
"Snakes" Down the Drain? You know, I never thought it was going to break records. Number one, it's about snakes, which automatically removes a lot of people from the Potential Viewer list. I mean, there's a reason I've had so much trouble finding people to go with.
Did I go? Well... I woke up on Saturday with a sore throat and have been wrestling with a summer cold ever since. My stepfather was off at a gig last night and my mother asked if I wanted to go see a movie, and I was like, "Yeah, not so much with the leaving of the house right now (ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)." "You don't want to go see a movie?" she repeated. "That's it, I'm calling Dr. A. You need an antibiotic or something." So she went and got dinner and some DVDs, and we watched V for Vendetta, and I sneezed a lot. Good times. (I am very disappointed in the extras so far. It's like, Generic HBO Featurette; Designing the Blandly Vague Sets of the Future; More Stuff About Guy Fawkes Even Though You'd Have Already Hit Wikipedia If You Cared; They're Not Comics, They're "Graphic Novels"; and We're Calling It a "Cat Power Montage" Because MTV Wouldn't Run It as a Video. WHERE ARE MY COMMENTARIES AND OUTTAKES? WHERE ARE MY STUNTS??! Shit, there's more in-depth stuff than this on the website. It wouldn't be so disappointing if they hadn't done such a good job with the extras for the first Matrix. I know this ain't no Matrix, but come on, a commentary takes two hours of your life. Pony up.)
(Meanwhile, "Pirates" nears $1 billion at box office.)
From
bubosquared: Get free stuff, stuff Focus on the Family!
Daniel Craig to play Lord Asriel. Dammit, I was really hoping they'd carry Timothy Dalton over from the stage production. You know, since I'll never get to see that.
blinkliz: "Would you mind linkspamming this, if it strikes you? Teacher fired for being FEMALE." Now, I read the link, and the thing is, she was fired from teaching Sunday school after a weird power shift in the community. Which is at least a train of logic I can see--I mean, it's Crazy Logic, but I can see how someone would be like, THE WEAKER SEX SHALL NOT TEACH THE SCRIPTURE! before I could see them being like, "Let's fire all the female schoolteachers! ...Wait."
Stuff I found while browsing the "Weird NJ" section on Wikipedia (and yes, eventually the Weird NJ site itself:) Worst. Amusement park. Ever. Just to give you an idea: "The park at first disputed that the electric current caused his death, saying there were no burns on his body, but the coroner responded that burns generally do not occur in a water-based electrocution." A completely different death-inducing, water-based attraction there: the Wave Grave Pool. I kind of love it.
(Speaking of Weird NJ and its sister site Weird US, if you have any freaky-ass stories to tell, I highly suggest that you submit them. Because I want more stuff to read. Also, it seems that half the states of the Union have their own Midgetville, murderous clan of Melon Heads, Gravity Road, abandoned asylum taken over by satanists, Road Where Terrifying Things Happen, and colorfully named psycho-beastie. The latter genre is one of my favorites--the stories range from the mostly-animal Big Foot/Jersey Devil end of things to the mostly-human Bunnyman of Northern Virginia end. Favorite story in that vein so far: The bloody box of La Llorona. Most of these things, you stop and realize that if they were true--particularly that last one, where the police got involved--you'd have something about them in the news. They're still great stories, though. I'm more in the market for older stories, but you know how the internet is. You start out reading about haunted roads and you end up on a page about a French washerwoman with a horn growing out of her forehead.)
(You think I'm making that up, don't you? Don't click this link. I'm telling you.)
Sebastian, the blinged-out cat.
From
particle_person: For those of you buying stars, did you realize that you're neither buying nor naming a star in any actual sense of the words? It's pretty much like buying a deed to real estate on the moon. Which, by the way, if you're interested I can sell to you at the low, low price of ten dollars an acre. Hurry, supplies are going fast!
I seem to wake up at two or three in the morning pretty consistently these days. Ick.
>> You know, I wanted to do my own research rather than fire up Semagic and bother y'all every time I wanted to know some little thing, but I mention hay (thinking, "Hey, you know, if anyone else ever needs to look this stuff up, this might come in handy for them"), and not only have multiple commenters cut hay before, one of them was doing so that day. Screw this Wikipedia noise, I'm asking y'all from now on.
So... *checks notes* ...relatively slow-acting botanical poisons, what've you got? I need time for suffering and flailing about for antidotes. Belladonna? If you intend to poison someone today, I definitely need to hear from you.
>> Okay, I'm in a bit of a quandary. Someone is using the title for "Movies in Fifteen Minutes" for the first and the fourth Harry Potters--I have the link to them, but I'm not reading the texts, as I haven't actually finished "Goblet of Fire" yet, and I don't want an IM IN UR FANFIC, STEALIN UR JOKES situation on my hands. (Note: I actually did the first Potter in the book.) But I'm reading reviews left for her, and while there are a couple of comments that mention me, there's also a lot saying, "What are you going to do for your next Movies in Fifteen Minutes?" and "U should do [whatever] for your next Movies in Fifteen Minutes." I am extremely uncomfortable with what she's doing, but you, and by "you" I mean "I," can't copyright titles. And it's not like I chose the most unique title of all time in the first place. At the same time, I hear that she does seem to acknowledge obliquely that she "didn't come up with the title," so I think she has, in fact, seen my work. She may or may not be using some of my jokes; I can't look, but the reviews indicate that she may be funny on her own, which means that we are not dealing with actual plagiarism here. But here's another complicating factor: the site doesn't allow script format fics anyway. I'm not linking to any of this because I legitimately don't know what to do, and I don't want to call the flying monkeys down on her. Probably the most I could ask for is for her to put a disclaimer that says "This is not related to Cleolinda Jones' Movies in Fifteen Minutes," and I don't know that I even have the right to ask for that. She seems to be only fifteen anyway, and... I totally don't know what to do. Other than pour myself a tall glass of Let It the Hell Go, I guess.
>> Re: Last night's JonBenet entry: You know how the first thing out of my mouth, metaphorically speaking, was how this guy might be trying to get out of Thailand? Yeah. A lot of things aren't adding up, including the whole "No, my husband was with me in Alabama, the Center of the Universe, that Christmas" part. At the same time, the man is way creepy and at least now that he's been nationally exposed as a pedophile (what were the previous charges, again? Child porn in California and sex charges in Thailand?), maybe someone can put him away somewhere. God knows what he's been up to elsewhere.
(On the other hand: the details Karr allegedly knows that no one but the killer should know.)
>> ATTENTION, PEOPLE I ACTUALLY KNOW IN REAL LIFE: Holy crow, people are actually coming out of Snakes on a Plane saying they liked it. I was expecting the biggest hype letdown ever. (Sample comments start here. Also here.) "It's everything you could have hoped for" is a pretty damn good endorsement. Art on the Rocks is Friday, but what about Saturday?
>> Linkspam:
Jail for Haley Joel? It's a Shyamalan curse, I'm telling you--first Mel and now this.
The Stephen Colbert Threat Down Generator.
megmatthews20: "On a much happier subject, have you seen the following POTC 3 spoilerific pictures?" I think we've seen some of them before, but I think there's at least a couple of new ones, and they're laid out better here. Also, Chinese Pirate Jack lives!
Hilary Duff's new video, "Play with Fire." I am not proud that I have now downloaded the song, but Sister Girl actually came and said, "You need to listen to this, I think you would like this. No, I have no shame." She actually earbombed me, knowingly, with stupidcrackmusic. You understand, don't you? Don't you?!
carebearssparky: "I was wondering if you could pimp this - I know
habibekindheart can use all the support she can get. She does not deserve any of the things that have happened to her, and neither does her family."
You know, I take issue with the old adage that you should write what you know. Number one, as
bibliotech pointed out, the entire science fiction genre would cease to exist. Number two--most of us lead extremely boring lives. If we wrote only what we knew, we would probably replace science fiction with navel gazing, and the You Are Way Too Young to Be Writing This Memoir genre is overstuffed as it is. Therefore, I believe that you should write what you know, and if you don't know it, you should go find it out--also known as "research."
The Joys of Being a Writer, or, Problems You Don't Run Into Much: "Man, I wish they had more pictures of old-fashioned haystacks."
Problems You Don't Run Into Much, Part Two: "But when do you cut the hay? When??"
Part Three: "There is a serious dearth of good haymaking FAQs on the internet."
Part Four: "FINALLY."
Part Five: "Hey, man, I don't judge. If you just need to have a field full of phallic symbols, you know, that's your scene, then, whatever."
Part Six: "This ice cream is not sufficient for my malnutritional needs."
Which perhaps bears some explaining. Since Bluebell is holding out on us regarding the Chocolate Almond Marshmallow ice cream (it's supposed to go back into rotation this month, but I haven't seen any yet), my mother decided to be enterprising and buy from a different brand--Mayfield's Chocolate Marshmallow ice cream and their Chocolate Almond ice cream. "You can just combine them!" she says. I am so touched by the gesture that I restrain myself from pointing out that we could have bought one flavor of ice cream and a bag of almonds. Which might have been a better idea, because it turns out that Mayfield's ice cream doesn't really have that much in the way of almonds--it's more like it's just daydreaming about them, thinking about how it might be a good idea, someday, to include almonds in the product. Also, Bluebell's almonds are chocolate-covered. You understand now, don't you?
Slight update on the YouTube situation:
eponine_b says that the people who actually made the video posted it with credit on their website; someone apparently then took it and posted it to YouTube without, I would imagine, permission. That said, it's really not a big deal, you guys. I mean, maybe it is for the vidders if their work was stolen, but I think there's enough commentage on the YT page to thoroughly indicate where the text came from.
P.S. can't stop listening to nelly furtado (stop) send help please (stop)