Cleolinda everywhere

Okay, it's been so widely linked that I assume you've all heard the story about the girl who got assaulted (read: kicked in the face with a steel-toed boot) at Convergence in New Orleans, and is asking for help finding the guy. Turns out he was a friend (or "friend," after having done this) and basically your bog-standard jealous drunken psychotic, from what I can tell. Here's the thing that made me stop cold:

He led the cops on a 3 hour wild goose chase Saturday morning and is rumored to have fled the LA border back to Alabama (he's from Mountain Brook, near Birmingham)

See, actually Mountain Brook is a suburb of Birmingham, which I would know, because I live in the suburb RIGHT NEXT TO IT. HOLY SHIT. Birmingham really IS the nexus of the universe.

So, uh, if you're one of my fellow Hamsters, take a look at this asshat, because we actually have a shot at running into him.

Mmm, nothing like a full day of brushing carpets, bagging garbage and cleaning up poo.

Oh, and my copy of the Infamous All-Naked Keira-Sniffing Vanity Fair finally arrived. You know, two weeks after it hit the newsstand. Thanks, guys.

The Comics Curmudgeon: For all your daily comics snark. Seriously, I couldn't sleep the other night, so I spent about three insomniac hours reading through the archives.

From eve_the_just: Another celebrity airbrushing service. (Go to "Portfolio" and then "Before/After.") You know, how you click on the pictures and toggle back and forth between "before" (wrinkles, cellulite, actual skin textures) and "after" (smoother and shinier than the T-1000)? Well, this one's particularly creepy in that you can click on a b&w image of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie on the first B/A page and see how Paris has had a few tiny spots of Skeletor boniness brushed out, and Nicole has literally had a section of her body wished into the cornfield. Eeeeeeh.

Lifehacker: Pack light with One Bag.

virtuistic: "I wouldn't normally ask this, and I know you just did this the other night, but I'm writing an article tomorrow and my reporting involves finding out if Americans really understand the semicolon. I've got a poll running in my lj, and if you could pimp it I would be eternally grateful."

The Independent: Turns out the secret to literary success is being nice. Wow! What a concept!

Bookslut, on the new parody memoir A Million Little Lies by "James Pinocchio":  "Seriously? That's the best you guys can come up with? Replacing 'pieces' with 'lies' and making a Pinocchio reference that would have been stale in the Eisenhower administration? Oh, hey, that William Taft sure is fat! And Clara Bow sure shows a lot of leg in her new picture! Oh my God, people, if you are not funny then do not write or publish [parody], and fuck you for not being funny."

Pete Doherty arrested. Again. For... stealing a car?

(I still have no idea why I know who Pete Doherty is. Shambles in the what now?)

Britney Spears celebrates Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

J.K.Rowling Updates Site; Diary Entry on Book Seven Progress.

Teacher to Return After Having Sex Change.

Evangeline Lilly Has Ruffles and Ridges. After some discussion of these pictures, I am torn. On one hand, she looks far better in a ruffled gingham bikini than any earthly woman has a right to. On the other... tiny hillbilly tutu. I'm just saying.

Hermione Granger and the Hangover of Doom, as seen on ohnotheydidnt. And Fandom Wank. And Defamer. 

Peanut butter Feder time! Seriously, watch this. It will make your life.

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