(no subject)

[cleolinda]

Mmm, nothing like a full day of brushing carpets, bagging garbage and cleaning up poo.

Oh, and my copy of the Infamous All-Naked Keira-Sniffing Vanity Fair finally arrived. You know, two weeks after it hit the newsstand. Thanks, guys.

The Comics Curmudgeon: For all your daily comics snark. Seriously, I couldn't sleep the other night, so I spent about three insomniac hours reading through the archives.

From eve_the_just: Another celebrity airbrushing service. (Go to "Portfolio" and then "Before/After.") You know, how you click on the pictures and toggle back and forth between "before" (wrinkles, cellulite, actual skin textures) and "after" (smoother and shinier than the T-1000)? Well, this one's particularly creepy in that you can click on a b&w image of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie on the first B/A page and see how Paris has had a few tiny spots of Skeletor boniness brushed out, and Nicole has literally had a section of her body wished into the cornfield. Eeeeeeh.

Lifehacker: Pack light with One Bag.

virtuistic: "I wouldn't normally ask this, and I know you just did this the other night, but I'm writing an article tomorrow and my reporting involves finding out if Americans really understand the semicolon. I've got a poll running in my lj, and if you could pimp it I would be eternally grateful."

The Independent: Turns out the secret to literary success is being nice. Wow! What a concept!

Bookslut, on the new parody memoir A Million Little Lies by "James Pinocchio":  "Seriously? That's the best you guys can come up with? Replacing 'pieces' with 'lies' and making a Pinocchio reference that would have been stale in the Eisenhower administration? Oh, hey, that William Taft sure is fat! And Clara Bow sure shows a lot of leg in her new picture! Oh my God, people, if you are not funny then do not write or publish [parody], and fuck you for not being funny."

Pete Doherty arrested. Again. For... stealing a car?

(I still have no idea why I know who Pete Doherty is. Shambles in the what now?)

Britney Spears celebrates Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

J.K.Rowling Updates Site; Diary Entry on Book Seven Progress.

Teacher to Return After Having Sex Change.

Evangeline Lilly Has Ruffles and Ridges. After some discussion of these pictures, I am torn. On one hand, she looks far better in a ruffled gingham bikini than any earthly woman has a right to. On the other... tiny hillbilly tutu. I'm just saying.

Hermione Granger and the Hangover of Doom, as seen on ohnotheydidnt. And Fandom Wank. And Defamer. 

Peanut butter Feder time! Seriously, watch this. It will make your life.

dailydigestnews: Heap big linky goodness.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_stormthesea/]

That airbrushing is scary. When I click the before button, Nicole Richie's body stretches. They removed a third of her body.

[orangebaroness.livejournal.com]

I was totally gonna buy that Vanity Fair xD Ah well.

Hey, I like Evey's bathingsuit, actually. I think it's cute (:

lmao@ Emma Watson getting drunk! What is thatt all about? Sure she's rich, but that's.. completely illegal.

And Peanut Butter Feder time? Too much.

♥

[thedivinegoat.livejournal.com]

lmao@ Emma Watson getting drunk! What is thatt all about? Sure she's rich, but that's.. completely illegal.

If that photo is in the UK it's not. If you're having a meal in a licensed resturaunt it's legal to have an alcoholic drink with your meal from the age of fourteen, provided it's bought by someone over eighteen.

I'm fairly certain it's moot anyway, as to me it looks as if she's posing with someone elses drink.

[meghatron.livejournal.com]

Peanut butter Feder time! Seriously, watch this. It will make your life.

*watches*

*boggles*

[lilychick.livejournal.com]

I was just fascinated by that airbrushing site for like twenty minutes. Even scarier than the before/after (well, okay, *equally* scary) is the composite/manipulation section, in which you can watch entire PEOPLE appear and disappear. EEEK. (*slightly freaked out*)

(Although I was amused to find out on page three of Before/After that no airbrushing is required to make Shaun White's hair that attractive. Score.)

[alliemolloy.livejournal.com]

The William Peterson picture freaked me out. They turned the dead guy into HIM!

[bardintraining.livejournal.com]

Bad parodies give me indigestion.
Seriously.
Auugh. It's the kind of thing you don't even try unless you know you can do it well. Which is why I rarely make any attempts, and when I do, they are never, ever, ever published.
Gah.

[wildcatlizzie.livejournal.com]

I think that Evie looks great in that suit. Like you said, no one should look that good in something that ridiculous. But on the other hand, "hillbilly tutu."

[emerybored.livejournal.com]

Two things: 1) I want someone to airbrush half of my body out of existence. Period. Not just out of photos. Though that would be a nice start. 2) K-Fed stole my PBJ song dance. I might sue.

[biomekanic.livejournal.com]

It was the Olsen twin that creeped me out, now I know where they put all of Nicole Richie

[elbeonore.livejournal.com]

*shudders* They practically cut Nicole in half!

By the by, a 12-year-old boy stuck a wad of gum onto a $1.5 million painting (http://www.comcast.net/news/strange/index.jsp?cat=STRANGE&fn=/2006/02/28/335552.html&cvqh=itn&ts=2006.02.28_23.55).

[thelovehater.livejournal.com]

I like the before pictures better. I think all of the things they're airbrushing out are things that wouldn't really be flaws in real life, only in photos (or on a giant High Def screen) are little things like lines, freckles and a bit of pudge distracting to the point where they need to be eliminated completely. If anything the pics look over airbrushed but that's just me. They probably charge thousands of dollars for that stuff too, no good no goodnicks.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Like, the girl who's lying on her hip and the skin at her waist kind of folds in together because THAT'S WHAT IT DOES? That's the kind of thing they need to leave in the picture, so that people will understand that it is, in fact, natural no matter how thin you are.

I can see some of the close-ups being a little severe on people's pores, so, you know, fade those out a bit. But I hate the weird, shiny robot look they're giving people--the over-airbrushing you saw.

[metonymy.livejournal.com]

So now we're not allowed to have KNUCKLES or PORES?

The picture that really got me was Elijah Wood. The poor thing hardly has any facial hair as it is, and they take some away! XD

And wow, the Paris and Nicole one is TERRIFYING. I wonder if they did the Nicole-shaving so that Paris doesn't look as frighteningly thin by comparison? Because that's one of the starkest differences, to me. (And they leave the dog entirely alone. Ha!)

[snale.livejournal.com]

Don't forget veins. We don't seem to be allowed veins anymore, either.

[thea-scooter.livejournal.com]

The Before/After pictures are amazing. Everyone should see the befores.

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

I can't tell you how touched I am to know that Denise Richards has peachfuzz.

[rhapsodeeinblue.livejournal.com]

Airbrushing should so totally be banned. Unless it involves paintbrushes made of helium. Or painting with air.

The dancing banana > KFed. Sorry.

[word-herder.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to say thanks for posting that airbrushing link. I know I need to exercise more, and I rationally understand that there is no way on the face of the earth that celebrities look as good as they do in the magazines and movies. But hell. It's hard to remember that when I pull on my size 12 jeans and feel badly about the skinniness which abounds in Hollywood. Seeing those before shots made me smile and think of the magazine tag line--"Celebrities! They're just like us!" (Is that Us or People? I forget.)

[lilgoala.livejournal.com]

Seriously. I feel 30 times better about every bad picture I've ever had taken now. lol

[emisi.livejournal.com]

You win at life for using a Twilight Zone reference. "A Wonderful Life," was that the show's name?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hmm, might have been--it's the one with little Anthony, that's all I know.

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

Also? Ohio lawmaker to propose ban on GOP adoption (http://www.bradenton.com/mld/bradenton/news/nation/13945272.htm). Which is fully brilliant.

[karaway.livejournal.com]

oh my god, I think I just broke something laughing at that Federline thing. That really did make my life :)

[sualocin.livejournal.com]

Ummm ... drunk bush on craig ferguson (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBouK9xuHUM&search=bush%20slow) might amuse you.

[lotusbiosm.livejournal.com]

oh, Emma, why hast thou forsaken me?

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

"Evangeline Lilly Has Ruffles and Ridges. After some discussion of these pictures, I am torn. On one hand, she looks far better in a ruffled gingham bikini than any earthly woman has a right to. On the other... tiny hillbilly tutu. I'm just saying."

Can I iconify "Hillybilly Tutu"? God KNOWS I love her, and I actually think she looks adorable...but...IT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee, go for it. Honestly, I really am torn. She looks as good in it as any human being could be expected to, and yet... hillbilly tutu.

[virtuistic.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! :) You're my heroine.

Also, Evy is beautiful but she looks ridonkulous in those pictures. I might be biased, because I loathe ginham, but damn.

[skinheadskippy.livejournal.com]

My brother spotted something in one of the 'before' shots. You know you ought to go shopping more often when the retouchers actually have to paint underwear onto you.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Quick! To the Genital Hospital!

[skyblade.livejournal.com]

The Jessica Simpson is actually kind of fun. "Oh my God! She just ate a chestburger!"

[promise19.livejournal.com]

Saw that! Laughed my ass off. If you click on the "before" button and toggle it fast, it's a real hoot.

[phoenixforhire.livejournal.com]

*SNORT* OMG, that is the best thing ever. I wonder how many people are going to make drunk!Emma icons now. LMAO!!!

[phoebesmum.livejournal.com]

Please tell me your copy of VF was still in the polybag and did not bear mysterious ... stains.

If I looked like Evangeline Lilly, I would so totally wear a tiny hillbilly tutu. All the time. To the supermarket, and everything.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

It *was* in the polybag, which is why I can't figure out why it was late. I mean, it's not like the mailman swiped it or something.