So late!

[cleolinda]

Sorry--my sister came over (to wash clothes in preparation for her NYCC trip) and we were catching up and I'm desperately behind.

Today's scandal: Stephen King says ‘Twilight’ author ‘can't write.’ OH SNAP.

(And the wank is already delightful.)

Yesterday's scandal: A transcript of Christian Bale's meltdown; the surprisingly danceable remix; More Christian Bale Fun: McG Prophecies, Flip-Hop Remixes, and a Soundboard! Y'all, I hope that, someday, if I lose my shit at top volume for almost four minutes solid, and I happen to be miked, and a recording happens to leak, that the losing of my shit brings the internet as much joy as Christian Bale's has brought to us. God bless.

(In his defense: archnemesis Shane Hurlbut is "a pretty unrepentant light tweaker." This is my new favorite insult. Meanwhile: Gawker begs to differ. In conclusion: there's plenty of fail to go around!)

(Bonus: The Christian Bale Accent Generator.)

Today's Snack Deathmatch: Cadbury vs. Cadbury.

Stephen Fry gets stuck in an elevator (time-sensitive link).

From annlarimer: Pics of Tonner dolls at IDEX, taken by an attendee. And then WHOA THERE ARE THE TWILIGHT DOLLS all of a sudden.

(Moar toys: X-Men Origins: Wolverine Action Figures Wave 1; 2009 SDCC Exclusive Dr. Who Figures. Meanwhile, this Scarlett Johansson doll scares me.)

Cash 4 Gold would like to melt down and recast their reputation, in which Cash4Gold tries to buy off a critical blogger, and admits that they have already bought someone else.

Report: Disney Mulls Layoff of 'Least Cute' of Jonas Brothers.

Jane Espenson Talks BSG, Caprica, Buffy and Dollhouse! [Exclusive]

SXSW Film Festival 2009 Full Line-Up Announced; Cine Staff Defends SXSW Against Stupid Complaints.

The English Continue To Pile On Probable Oscar-Winner Kate Winslet.

'Milk,' 'The Reader' Flunk Wide-Release Test.

Annie Leibovitz’s ‘Vanity Fair’ Celebrity Photo Spread is Worth a Look.

Sid Ganis is Possibly Promising Too Much for 2009 Oscar Telecast; The Ultimate Guide to TCM’s 31 Days of Oscar Begins Here.

Images: New T-600 image from Terminator Salvation; 'Nine' set pics: Daniel Day-Lewis, the Fierce & and his friends rollin', Nicole Kidman & Daniel Day-Lewis: Kiss Kiss; A Few More New Posters for 'The Boat That Rocked'; Splice (2009); Cherrybomb (2009); Monstrous Monster 'Monsters vs. Aliens' Poster Monster; Orlando Bloom is 'Sympathy' Shirtless; Fan Made: 'Public Enemies' Poster.

Trailers: Six Clips from 'The Lodger' Remake; Worth Watching - 'The Immaculate Conception of Little Dizzle'; Worth Watching - Daryl Wein's 'Breaking Upwards' Trailer; DreamWorks threw $9M down the drain for 3D spot.

JK Rowling, Knight of the French Realm (Updated).

Snyder Never Doing Watchmen Sequel because he knows the fans would beat his ass; Images of Tales of the Black Freighter; Watchmen In 'New Yorker' Contest.

(Related: ‘Watchmen’ Star Malin Akerman Goes Waterskiing For Favreau, Vince Vaughn Reunion ‘Couples Retreat.’)

New Moon Teaser On Twilight Blu-Ray, Amazon Gift Set (with bonus comic! GET IN THE CAR LOSER WE'RE GOING SPARKLING); 'Twilight' studio Summit unlikely to merge with Lionsgate; Details on New Moon's Italy Shoot (I'll be damned. I really, truly thought she'd made Volterra up); Edward Dog wants to know if ur sleepin yet.

New Key Cast Photo from Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes; Rachel McAdams on the Sherlock Holmes Set.

EXCLUSIVE: Robert Downey Jr. Says Mickey Rourke Not Playing Crimson Dynamo In ‘Iron Man 2.’

Will Sam Raimi shoot 'Spider-Man 4' in Michigan?

Coraline Clips and Interview; Dakota Promotes One Film, Has Her Eye On Another; How Teri Hatcher voiced multiple moms in Coraline.

(Related: How possible is a sequel to 'Nightmare Before Christmas'?)

Michael Bay Promises Next ‘Transformers 2′ Trailer Will Spoil Most of the Film.

MTV Staffer — And ‘G.I. Joe’ Fanatic — Remains Convinced ‘Rise Of Cobra’ Is Headed In Right Direction; New GI Joe pics of Cobra Commander and Zartan.

Newsweek: Clive Owen on Bowie, badger rumors.

Michel Gondry and ‘The Host’ Director Team for Director Triple Play 'Tokyo!' (includes trailer and stills).

Clooney and Sorkin Take 'The Challenge.'

Bill Murray Joins the Cast of Aaron Schneider's 'Get Low.'

Horror Legend John Carpenter Commits Amber Heard To ‘The Ward.’

The Ruins' Jena Malone rumored to join Joss Whedon's 'Cabin.'

Should 'Paul Blart' Be Arrested For Stealing?

Closing in on a writer for Ouija movie: The signs are auspicious.

'He's Just Not That Into You' — First Review; More Reasons Not To Get Into 'He's Just Not That Into You.'

'Slap Shot' remake: Ugh, this can't be good.

French Dragonball Evolution Trailer; See Actual Dragon of 'Dragonball: Evolution.'

It's a Film About a Guy Who Ejaculates Fire [Finally].

Comments

[goonie-freak.livejournal.com]

Well I don't think that SM is a super duper writer or anything but I do kind of agree with that one statement about the movies being better than the books when it comes to SK... I have tried to read a few of his books and find that I just can't get into them... yet the movies suck me in!

and I laughed soooooo freaking hard at the Jonas Brothers thing... so who the hell is Kevin? Poor bastard... "Sorry you're just not pretty enough. Maybe in a few years, you know when the economy balances out again... don't cry." (Sorry I had way too much fun with that. I have hate JB since they ruined "Year 3000" which was REALLY by Busted.)

[souredpoison.livejournal.com]

This is the only comment I've seen acknowledging that they aren't in love with SK :|

I lump all three authors together. Kudos for pulling people in to reading when they normally wouldn't, kudos for having good ideas, but terrible writing. I just don't think any of the authors are THAT skilled. They have good ideas, but they aren't fabulously written like everyone seems to claim.

[divadeanna.livejournal.com]

My love for Stephen King just went up exponentially. lol

[exileslament.livejournal.com]

Coming out of lurk mode to note that I saw the link for "Cash4Gold" and my first thought was of video game gold farmers, not like.... actual gold IRL. hahaha

But yeah... Cleo, you are awesome! Thanks for the daily linkspam, and especially the Secret Life of Dolls :D

[r-a-black.livejournal.com]

I wonder what else Meyer will threaten to not continue doing for her fans now that King said this?

[revenantrose.livejournal.com]

That may just make me forgive Stephen King for his epically boring EW articles. Maybe. One comment isn't really enough to erase all that mental carnage.

His explanation of Twilight's appeal doesn't explain why my mom comes home every night and buries her nose in those books, though. ...at least I hope it doesn't.

[lemonade8.livejournal.com]

Wow. Harsh criticism from King. I think he has a right to his opinion, don't get me wrong, but yikes.

The wank is really funny. I read the books, too. Every damn one of them. I don't feel the need to justify myself to Steven King, though. LOL!

I think my fav wank is this:

"P.S. I read Jane Austin to my 6 month old daughter!"

Because... really? Her poor infant! "Mommy is going to read you Jane Austin so she doesn't feel bad about liking Twilight... sit back down and quit crying right now!!!"

I don't recall anyone saying that anyone is a bad person for liking it. I do, however, think one might not be a very good person for reading a developmentally inappropriate book to a toddler just to feel superior. Just saying.

[havocs-roman.livejournal.com]

I don't know what's funnier to me, Jane "Austin" or the fact that her six-month-old daughter would actually be an appropriate reader to her precious Twilight, so she might as well save the ~intelectual~ stuff for herself.

I mean, if I have my biology all wrong here, please correct me, but I think six-month-olds are at that stage where they can recognise mummy's voice, but aren't yet ready to understand what is being said? If so, mum and dad might as well be reading 300 to them, it's not like the baby would *care*...

[la-petite-singe.livejournal.com]

I love that "if you don't have anything nice to say"-logic is being applied to STEPHEN KING. Because he's such a cuddly, sweet guy. Heh. And I think this one's my favorite too: "Well, I do not think he can write because he is too detailed and most of his stuff is about crazy clowns or kids getting hit by cars." HA! Too many details; what a hack! Aw, this is great. My day is made.

[melyannadevart.livejournal.com]

LOL
I like how they said that King is SOO JELLUS because none of his books has ever become a famous movie!
They might have forgotten about The Shining...

[glass-radical.livejournal.com]

And Carrie. And SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION AND THE GREEN MILE. I think they had a stroke and forgot that he wrote those too.

God, I love him so much for this.

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

I suppose I shouldn't expect better from the interwebs, but did every comment on Gawker have to be about Harry Knowles appearance? This is why I hang around here for my newses. Cleologians have much more intelligent commentary.

That dance remix of the breakdown is insanely catchy. 'Nooooo, fuck noooo!'

I was hoping there was just something weird happening with Tonner!Edward's hair, like they didn't get a chance to fully style it before it was photographed or something. But those Twitter photos make it look even worse. I mean, what it is doing? You can't tell me Edward has been around for 100 years and hasn't discovered hair gel.

[eliz.livejournal.com]

http://dailymail.com/foodandliving/200902030559

They are making Twilight conversation hearts.

I have no idea how I feel about this!

[madeline-may.livejournal.com]

From the Twilight Lexicon:

"I don’t think anyone here is saying that the Twilight series is ‘up there’ with classic literature. But you certainly cannot say that Stephen King is comparable to “great literature.” He’s not writing things that are “great books of the decade” and I don’t recall him exemplifying “any real ideological or social statement” in his writing.

Its the elitist attitude that is everyone’s downfall."

I've been headdesking all morning, and it's giving me a headache.

[riari.livejournal.com]

What..?

Yeah, I'll join the head desking.

[jezabel.livejournal.com]

haaa, I requested zoostation set the remix to Balsey's forlorn, cathartic cowboy dance in Newsies. AMAZING.

[nwkd.livejournal.com]

omg .. this is amazing .. I cannot stop watching this! Now every time I watch Newsies this will be in in my head. Thank you lol

[anonymeet.livejournal.com]

The funniest thing about the Steven King comment is that - he's read Twilight. Wait - really? I just - I would not have thought it would even be on his radar. Granted, parts of Breaking Dawn and clearly horror, but still.

Oh and the Bale accent generator is awesome. I could not stop focusing on his accent swings during that tirade. Well, when I wasn't focusing on his extreme overuse of the word fuck, the unprofessionalness of his tirade about not being professional or the general failure of the sane people around to do something - anything - to shut him the hell up.

[narfzz.livejournal.com]

Thanks Cleo, now I'm going to spend hours at work being unproductive reading crazy fandom wank.

[unicornluvr.livejournal.com]

I'm going to go with Go, Dog. Go! is of a higher writing quality than anything SMeyer has produced.

[julietvalcouer.livejournal.com]

Go, Dog, Go! is ART, I tell you, ART.

At least it's more compelling than Twilight.

[stardustshine.livejournal.com]

What I really love about Stephen King's criticism is that he doesn't invalidate her success - he acknowledges that she appeals to a particular set of feelings in her audience that the audience likes to indulge. So it's not like "yeah, she didn't write about anything deep and meaningful so she sucks," it's "yeah, she touched a human place in her audience, and that's great for her and bravo for her success, but it doesn't mean she's a great writer." Whereas JKR can both appeal to that human place, and write your socks off.

Because that's what I think frustrates me most about SMeyer's fans. She's like the BEST WRITER EVER OMG because I LOOOVED her books and that automatically makes you a great writer.

Bull - it makes her a popular writer, but that doesn't mean she's a good writer. Just like there are plenty of really good writers who will never be popular. And that's okay, if that was what you aimed for, but dude, own it either way (which SMeyer kind of does, actually, I think she knows the writing isn't very good, but she got her story out there and that was what mattered to her, but her fans, not so much).

::falls off soapbox, sprains ankle:: Oops.

[julietvalcouer.livejournal.com]

Because that's what I think frustrates me most about SMeyer's fans. She's like the BEST WRITER EVER OMG because I LOOOVED her books and that automatically makes you a great writer.

Have you dealt much with Anne McCaffrey fans? That would totally have prepared you for this.

[khaman.livejournal.com]

I am amazed and happy that the Bale dance remix guy thought far enough ahead to realize that people would want the mp3. That is some very bikeable stuff right there.

[new-evolution.livejournal.com]

I think you should know that I find the "Clive Owen on Bowie" link very misleading.

*goes back to lurking*

[mumford519.livejournal.com]

Stephen King did not take into account just how crazy the Twihards are (not that he cares). But I didn't think it was harsh, just what he really thinks and it isn't anything many many other people haven't said before.

Also, I really want those Alice in Wonderland dolls. Twilight, eh but I do love Alice and the Queen of Hearts.

[nwkd.livejournal.com]

i cannot stop lolong about the Jonas Brother cut .. and those pictures of Cherry Bomb? Hellooooo Ron Weasley

[ky-grobanite.livejournal.com]

I ... really thought she'd made up Volterra too. Huh.

[leoprincess.livejournal.com]

Twilight - the gift that keeps on giving.

[venusad.livejournal.com]

In defense of Disney claiming Nightmare....before it hit theatres I was about 9 or so, and was a long time reader of Disney Adventures magazine (back when it was awesome). They fully claimed it was one of their own to the younger audience in their magazine...

I guess they just didnt' want to piss of parents in theatres?


Sorry, I'm with Knowles on Bale. What he did was lame and over the line, but everyone is throwing him to the wolves. The dude was messing up and making them stop and reshoot...time is money, acting that good ain't easy and the Prestige was AWESOME.

Okay, so I'm biased. Most guys that work together curse a lot and yell. I don't see the big deal. Can we just get on with finishing the movie already? If I had to emote realistically about super intelligent killer robots invading in a post apocolyptic future, I'd be a might bit touchy about having to reshoot scenes too.

Also? Creative people are pissy when you eff with their groove. MOVE ON and call me when he hits somebody with a phone.

[venusad.livejournal.com]

Oops, how could I forget TWILIGHT VS STEVEN KING.

Twimoms are so terrifying. They turn against anyone who speaks ill of their creepy obsession...case in point?

One poster said that all Steven King movies she's seen are terrible and Twilight was much better.
....did you forget the Oscar winning one? Probably.

And of course my personal favorie:

Oh....and since when do Young Adult novelists have extensive vocabularies? Come on. King-style writing for Young Adults? No one under the age of, say, 17 would understand that shit. I mean really.


.....so aside from just listing all the crap me and friends have read and what they typically assign in school, here's a list of recommended reading with the requisite vocabulary comprehension of high school and junior high students:

http://www.vocabulary.com/classic.html

Someone should send that lady this link so she can get started.

(also, All Quiet on the Western front effing RULES)

[siara79.livejournal.com]

I saw this comment and about died (this one was on the Lexicon, I think):

Ok I agree, his comment were a bit rude. I mean I get it he’s a critic, but if Stephenie Meyer couldn’t write then her books would have never sold. I’m sorry but I don’t read books that are utterly stupid. I read books that have meaning and that can make one sentence describe a whole universe. Both J.K. and Stephenie have been able to do that. So, I don’t know what book King was reading, cuz I don’t think it was anything by SM. If he did read them then at least be a bit more courteous and say your insults in a less rudely manner.

If she couldn't write her books would never have sold? Yeah. Mm-hmm. How many books that are almost UNIVERSALLY hated do end up on the best seller list for a while? Personally, I don't think Dan Brown's all that wonderful a writer, and how much of his crap was on the bestseller list for how long?

I am a King fan, as I've mentioned before, and I still think some of his stuff is complete and utter crap. :D But the more of his opinion pieces I read, the more I absolutely love the guy!

Oh, and: Grammar and spelling. Acquaint yourself with it, Internet! :P (Unless you're doing a macro, then it doesn't matter.)

[blpurdom.livejournal.com]

Yes! Dan Brown was exactly who I thought of when I started reading your comment. The Twihards don't seem to get that publishers don't care who can write--they only care about who can sell books. Being able to do one isn't necessarily an indication that you can do the other, unfortunately. Publishers love it if they can get someone who sells a ton of books and that reviewers (and readers) actually think can write, but if they can only get one of those attributes, they'll take the book-selling thing every time.