Friday Friday Friday meh
Nov. 6th, 2009 09:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cleolindaDepression, I have often said, is like an influenza of the soul. A spiritual hamthrax, if you will. I has it. Do not want.
It's actually starting to worry me a little, the intensity of this go-round--it's not the usual stone-cold ennui. Normally I'm not this bad off until after New Year's (well, except for the pity party I throw myself every year in the weeks leading up to my birthday), and, again: that's more of a seasonal apathy-funk. This involves a lot of dread and distress and, at times, actual panic involved. I have to think this is because things are just generally bad around here at the moment, and have been for a good while now. Two different family members are having job-related crises, for example. I'm having performance anxiety in terms of trying to write, I don't have a dependable place to work, I'm just generally very unhappy. But it's taking on a hysterical edge that makes me uncomfortable--I keep having urges to act out in some way. I don't mean harm myself or anyone else; I mean, like, throw a gigantic melodramatic fit du shit. I know I had that minor meltdown where I started throwing shit earlier this summer, but that is the ONLY TIME IN MY LIFE I have ever done anything like that. So I'm not used to having the urge to, like, flounce from the internet for the hell of it or something. And that's why I'm sitting here talking about it so calmly, because I feel like the only way to combat irrationality is with detachment. Take an overview of the thing, recognize what you're doing, shove it into the light of day. So... yeah.
(By the way, laptop has been ordered; money has cleared checking account. It will take about two weeks from November 3rd for Dell to build and ship it, what with the custom art and the crazy-ass 17" facial recognition screen. I don't even know. I spent a ridiculous, extravagant amount of money because I could, and it felt GOOD.)
A little Twi-spam for the hell of it, since Sparklemas is fast approaching:
I hear Tour of Terror II begins today? Blessedly, I am not seeing any mention of appearances by the three leads, so those of you in the affected cities will probably not have to evacuate.
What Drives Edward? A lust for fragrantly whiny teenage girls, I'm assuming. Meanwhile, I can't believe that it took Volvo this long to get on the bandwagon. The Vampire Volvo of Great Justice is from THE BOOK. Where were your marketing execs when the first movie came out?
T-REX, VAMPIRES CAN HAVE KIDS AND LITTLE DINOSAUR VAMPIRES SOUNDS PRETTY CUTE TO ME
@socleveromg: "http://twitpic.com/ofhkg - Twilight Luna makeup. Why does Alice have Jem colors?"
"He had reddish, blonde-brown hair that was groomed heterosexually."
"Honey, it's Ok, this is what we do at these signings." D:<
And to think that I had forgotten about the Jacob sleeper.
I think that's about enough for today.
(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)
It's actually starting to worry me a little, the intensity of this go-round--it's not the usual stone-cold ennui. Normally I'm not this bad off until after New Year's (well, except for the pity party I throw myself every year in the weeks leading up to my birthday), and, again: that's more of a seasonal apathy-funk. This involves a lot of dread and distress and, at times, actual panic involved. I have to think this is because things are just generally bad around here at the moment, and have been for a good while now. Two different family members are having job-related crises, for example. I'm having performance anxiety in terms of trying to write, I don't have a dependable place to work, I'm just generally very unhappy. But it's taking on a hysterical edge that makes me uncomfortable--I keep having urges to act out in some way. I don't mean harm myself or anyone else; I mean, like, throw a gigantic melodramatic fit du shit. I know I had that minor meltdown where I started throwing shit earlier this summer, but that is the ONLY TIME IN MY LIFE I have ever done anything like that. So I'm not used to having the urge to, like, flounce from the internet for the hell of it or something. And that's why I'm sitting here talking about it so calmly, because I feel like the only way to combat irrationality is with detachment. Take an overview of the thing, recognize what you're doing, shove it into the light of day. So... yeah.
(By the way, laptop has been ordered; money has cleared checking account. It will take about two weeks from November 3rd for Dell to build and ship it, what with the custom art and the crazy-ass 17" facial recognition screen. I don't even know. I spent a ridiculous, extravagant amount of money because I could, and it felt GOOD.)
A little Twi-spam for the hell of it, since Sparklemas is fast approaching:
I hear Tour of Terror II begins today? Blessedly, I am not seeing any mention of appearances by the three leads, so those of you in the affected cities will probably not have to evacuate.
What Drives Edward? A lust for fragrantly whiny teenage girls, I'm assuming. Meanwhile, I can't believe that it took Volvo this long to get on the bandwagon. The Vampire Volvo of Great Justice is from THE BOOK. Where were your marketing execs when the first movie came out?
T-REX, VAMPIRES CAN HAVE KIDS AND LITTLE DINOSAUR VAMPIRES SOUNDS PRETTY CUTE TO ME
@socleveromg: "http://twitpic.com/ofhkg - Twilight Luna makeup. Why does Alice have Jem colors?"
"He had reddish, blonde-brown hair that was groomed heterosexually."
@cleolinda Um, hello: David Cronenberg. RT @mtvmoviesblog: Who Should Direct 'Breaking Dawn'? Tim Burton!
@mtvmoviesblog @cleolinda Cronenberg. I love it. Someone call Jamie Campbell Bower and tell him he got it wrong. Burton's out, Cronenberg's in.
@cleolinda @mtvmoviesblog I honestly thought he'd taken over for the middle of the book. Maybe Ridley Scott? He has experience with chest bursters...
@mtvmoviesblog @cleolinda Cronenberg. I love it. Someone call Jamie Campbell Bower and tell him he got it wrong. Burton's out, Cronenberg's in.
@cleolinda @mtvmoviesblog I honestly thought he'd taken over for the middle of the book. Maybe Ridley Scott? He has experience with chest bursters...
"Honey, it's Ok, this is what we do at these signings." D:<
And to think that I had forgotten about the Jacob sleeper.
I think that's about enough for today.
(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)
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no subject
Date: 2009-11-06 07:01 pm (UTC)For me, the only way to drag myself out of a truly major depression (like the one that hit me like a collapsing building right after my wife left) was the gym. I could put on my headphones, sweat and strain and curse and pant and at the end of it all, stagger into the steam room and feel pure and young again when I got out of the shower, if only for an hour. Then of course, I had to go back to work, but for that hour I felt better, and rediscovering my waist made me feel better too.
I guess my most comforting thought for today is: like all things under heaven and earth, this too shall pass.