cleolinda | Entries tagged with the secret life of dolls

The annual Super Cryptic Flash-Forward Entry! I really hope we're caught up by next Christmas and I don't have to do this again, but: here's what everyone's doing now, as opposed to the events of this July in the previous entry:

I can't put together Christmas presents for all of the Shelf at this point, but the dolls are actually a lot less obsessed with the Giftmas aspect of the holidays than we in my family are (maybe because they are the gifts). They have begun creating their own traditions--feasting, caroling, the Gathering of the Juniper, the brewing of many boozes, Crimbo tales of terror, and so on. At this point, the Middle-earthians (who have been with me the longest) think of presents as something "for the kids," by which they mean Ellowyne, Lyra, and the Twilighters (have you heard my new band, Lyra and the Twilighters?). So, as long as we have enough pie and games and booze, everyone's happy. And I'm definitely not giving out any weapons this year (Tonner Bella has already been supplied with the means to defend herself). I am, however, giving Lyra some marzipan, and a new hat from

tinyplasticmeat;

rienna_the_red and her sewing circle sent aprons for both The Littlest Bella and Tonner Edward (as my housekeeper, he does get a bit dusty on the job). ( However, the biggest present of all is for Clarice )

Previously on The Secret Life of Dolls: I just went ahead and told Tonner Bella that Tonner Edward is a vampire, because life is too short. And then she and her sheep-herding yipyip dogs went to work at the Sparklerosa, and Clarice's frustrated little brain nearly exploded in a puff of woolly rage.

( And then, we all heard a low rumbling that was not fireworks )

Previously on The Secret Life of Dolls: Tonner Bella arrived, God help us all.

It looked like a Tonner Bella, anyway.

( Hi, yeah, I'm calling about a doll I ordered? )

Current Mood: slightly less sick

Previously on The Secret Life of Dolls: I tried to get the more contentious Shelfians to Play Nice, but Anna threw the d6 under the bed, and then... UPS came.

"Oh my GOD, look at YOUUUUUU. You are just PRECIOUS, LOOK AT YOU."

( Read more... )

Previously on The Secret Life of Dolls: Tonner Edward ended up with a daily ghost tea party on his housekeeping schedule.

He wasn't happy about it, either. Ellowyne Two had finally achieved in death what she had been unable to manage in life: his undivided, voluntary attention.

Well, somewhat voluntary.

( A job worth doing is worth doing well )

Previously on The Secret Life of Dolls: Tonner Edward was sentenced to A Fate Worse (But Fortunately Less Permanent) Than Death: a week in his box.

And he came out of that box haggard and drawn, but suffering at least seemed to put him on a more even keel. (Of course, Edward Dollens as a species seem drawn to self-flagellation.) So I put him straight to work, according to the second tier of his punishment: rehabilitation through honest employment. Honest, soap-scummy, lemon-scented employment. I told him he was my housekeeper, and I did put him in charge of a number of respectable things (organizing my mail, fetching and reshelving my research books, restocking the pantry for Purple Arwen and Little Bella) but let's be honest: I wanted my dust bunnies wrangled and my shower tiles scrubbed.

( Jingling softly down the hall )

... that it's been a (pleasantly) busy week, and I won't be able to post the new Secret Life until tomorrow. Everything's fine; I'm just having some problems getting the entry to hang together. Also with getting pictures set up. As in, "I kind of need that bucket, you know... when you're finished with it. I mean. No hurry. Just... Do we have any Swiffer duster things?"

Previously on The Secret Life of Dolls: Doll mortality. This week: Shelf justice.

So once again, we had a Shelf Justice Council, this time on my desk. ( Read more... )

Yesterday: A new Secret Life of Dolls. By the way, someone asked in the comments when the Cliffhanging Last Line would come to fruition. I had intended it more as Deep Foreshadowing to pay off at a much later date, but once I sat down and thought about it--it doesn't make much sense to put it off that long (in the scheme of things that only I know). So next week, as promised, we will have Shelf Justice, and then the week after that, we will find out what the last line means.

However, for the purposes of the story time frame, we are all going to have to pretend that the U.S. Postal Service has been replaced by the Pony Express, or maybe unusually large carrier pigeons. Actually, given what happened with Tonner Edward, that may not be too much of a stretch.

Meanwhile: you remember

snowcoma, who adopted Edward Cat for her mom. She's in medical trouble now too. There are some really wonderful things up for auction for her as well--if you lost out on some of the

foresthouseeyes lots, you might consider browsing Grace's as well. So far I'm seeing jewelry, artwork, perfume oils, fiction, scarves, Meyer lemon cuttings, and a signed copy of

cupcake_goth's Gothic Charm School book. So you can get a year of postcards from The Littlest Edward (he may want to make his own stationery, I don't know) over on one community, and a year of postcards from Galadriel (filled with clues and predictions) on the other.

Also: Mark has finished Reading Harry Potter, and I have heard that he said in the comments there what his next Read would be. I won't spoil it, but it is something I had considered offering to recap if we managed to raise enough for both of Emily's surgeries. Basically, I wanted to wait and make sure we weren't going recap the same thing at the same time. So: we will see.

Meanwhile-meanwhile: Scary Deathmatch Finals over at

snacky's!

Also-also: tonight, I will be celebrating Halloween dressed as a crazy doll lady writing the Secret Life installment-after-next. The hellions down the street will probably do terrible things to our tires. If I am lucky, there will be peanut butter cups. Who else has plans?

OH HOLY SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT. Today is the seventh birthday of this journal! Also that.

Before we begin: I am auctioning off a year of postcards from me, and... a year of postcards from The Littlest Edward at

foresthouseeyes.

Previously on The Secret Life of Dolls: someone did a bad, bad thing.

( Read more... )

While I've got you captive: a quick way to view all the auctions at

foresthouseeyes, which are kind of amazing.

Yesterday on The Secret Life of Dolls: The Littlest Edward lost it and told Tonner Edward off. And it was bad. Really bad.

"I won't apologize." He was scrubbing the floor of the Paradise Kitchen with one of my old toothbrushes, unable to look me in the eye. "He stalked and coveted and harassed my Bella. He mocks the ponies constantly, and I heard him threatening to eat them. He treats me with nothing but disdain. Me, a hard-working vampire who contributes to society. If the truth hurts--well, he deserves it."

Tonner Edward shut down after that--not that he was ever terribly social before. ( Miss Cleo, it might not be too late! )

Before we start: the

foresthouseeyesauctions are going wonderfully (thank you so much!), and, all efforts combined, we're looking at about $2000 so far--already halfway there for the first surgery's "o hai, we totally lied about paying by the month, plz cough it all up by October 31st" expenses, which is amazing. Last I saw,

dduanehad just put up five signed/personalized copies of A Wizard of Mars, so make sure you go check that out.

MEANWHILE.

Previously on The Secret Life of Dolls: Tonner Edward's ailments and Anna's crimes revealed.

Let's fast-forward a little. At the end of last year, Anna was released from the Cabinet of Shame. And then I gave her a trident for Christmas, because I'm dumb. She was fond of trying to sneak up on Tonner Edward and poke him with it, but he is not only supersparklespeedy but could mind-hear her coming, so it was kind of a futile prank at best. Mostly he would just turn around and give her a weary look: Really? We're still doing this?

Fortunately, she was soon occupied with the intrigues of the Squirrelmageddon. ( Read more... )

So, previously on The Secret Life of Dolls: The Battle of Beagle Yard; Faramir Two discovered a covert woodland arms deal; and Serafina explained to me what was going on with the birdbath. And then I felt kind of bad.

We were saved from an awkward pause by Tonner Edward limping into the room. "I need to... talk to you... for a moment, if... I could," he said between gritted teeth. And then he collapsed.

( Read more... )

Previously on The Secret Life of Dolls: The Littlest Bella discovered the Sparklerosa and nearly succumbed to mob justice, but eventually took the whole thing in stride, and now The Littlest Edward can ranch his ponies in the open. However, this did nothing for Tonner Edward's heartache, although he did reclaim the living room downstairs for himself, wallowing so listlessly in his own malaise that he could barely bestir himself to tell me,

“By the way, I think that dog is eating one of the Faramirs.”

"WHAT?"

"Out back," he said, shrugging.

( NOOO! YOU GOTTA LET ME SEE THE WAR!! )

So. Previously on The Secret Life of Dolls: It was still Christmas, and I was hinting darkly at... things. Let's go back--yes, back before Christmas--and start finding out what those things were. Maybe this isn't the one you wanted to hear about first, but bear with me: there's a reason.

( Read more... )

Previously on The Secret Life of Dolls: The Shelf prepared for the Crimbo season and the coming of Santa Eorl.

I keep making mysterious allusions to things that have already happened--which have gotten even more tangled up now that Christmas is a thing of the past as well--so bear with me. When we last left the actual goings-on, it was last fall; Betsy 2.0 died, I went through a couple of Camilles, and now I have Lizzie, my beloved laptop. And then MORE CRAP HAPPENED. There were no updates for many moons. It happens. So yes, I was hinting at a great number of things that had happened in the interim, involving Faramir and Serafina, and Anna being shifty, and the intrigues of squirrels, and Tonner Edward's migraines, but no, you hadn't actually found out what they were. You didn't miss anything. But back in the fall, they were preparing for The Coming Squirrelmageddon. (Don't worry, it hasn't happened yet. Winter led to a cessation of hostilities; as Helm's Deep Aragorn informed me, campaign season was over until the spring.)

However, I don't want us to miss Christmas--it just won't be as fun however many months from now it takes me to catch up--so I'll try to go ahead and tell you what I can.

*facepalm*

So.

( Lyra and The Littlest Bella had finally discovered a common cause )