Cleolinda everywhere

Yes, I have seen the Edward Cullen "man pillow" on Etsy (it's half-man, half-pillow, and entirely made of NO), so you can stop sending me the link now. Also, if you haven't sent me the link and you don't know what I'm talking about, you can google that shit yourself because NO. I would also like to say: people, if you're going to be a pillow-molesting deviant, don't PAY for that shit. Get yourself some pillowcases or potato sacks or whatever and some cotton batting from Hobby Lobby and bust out the Rubber Stamp filter on Photoshop because I'm telling you, that's all it is. Keep your crazy homemade. Or just buy a vibrator like normal people, because everyone has needs--that's not the weird part; I'm saying that taking those needs out on innocent, humanoid home furnishings is. For real, you can get a wide variety of sex toys on Amazon these days. You don't have to stoop to this.

@lilithsaintcrow: @cleolinda You know someone will marry that pillow. It will be a WalMart wedding. I will BET YOU MONEY.

@cleolinda: @lilithsaintcrow They'll have to marry the pillow, because you know it won't agree to premarital humping.

Lately, I have become obsessed with the Pallas's Cat (which--HEY LOOK, IT'S A SEGUE--I discovered in the Twilight in Lolcats posts. Geometrical eyebrows sold separately), in no small part because they make the best faces ever. (I can't tell you how many times I've made this face recently.) And I will no longer be able to have a bad day ever again as long as this picture exists on the internet. In fact, I hear there's one at the zoo here in Birmingham; I will have to go visit him. That said, I don't think it'll be very good for his dignity ("WHO IS A PRECIOUS FUZZY BABY? YOU ARE!"), but it'd be a good excuse to get out of the house. And the botanical gardens are right there, and I've been wanting to see them again, maybe do another photo safari. It's a thought.