A public service announcement

[cleolinda]

Yes, I have seen the Edward Cullen "man pillow" on Etsy (it's half-man, half-pillow, and entirely made of NO), so you can stop sending me the link now. Also, if you haven't sent me the link and you don't know what I'm talking about, you can google that shit yourself because NO. I would also like to say: people, if you're going to be a pillow-molesting deviant, don't PAY for that shit. Get yourself some pillowcases or potato sacks or whatever and some cotton batting from Hobby Lobby and bust out the Rubber Stamp filter on Photoshop because I'm telling you, that's all it is. Keep your crazy homemade. Or just buy a vibrator like normal people, because everyone has needs--that's not the weird part; I'm saying that taking those needs out on innocent, humanoid home furnishings is. For real, you can get a wide variety of sex toys on Amazon these days. You don't have to stoop to this.

@lilithsaintcrow: @cleolinda You know someone will marry that pillow. It will be a WalMart wedding. I will BET YOU MONEY.

@cleolinda: @lilithsaintcrow They'll have to marry the pillow, because you know it won't agree to premarital humping.

Lately, I have become obsessed with the Pallas's Cat (which--HEY LOOK, IT'S A SEGUE--I discovered in the Twilight in Lolcats posts. Geometrical eyebrows sold separately), in no small part because they make the best faces ever. (I can't tell you how many times I've made this face recently.) And I will no longer be able to have a bad day ever again as long as this picture exists on the internet. In fact, I hear there's one at the zoo here in Birmingham; I will have to go visit him. That said, I don't think it'll be very good for his dignity ("WHO IS A PRECIOUS FUZZY BABY? YOU ARE!"), but it'd be a good excuse to get out of the house. And the botanical gardens are right there, and I've been wanting to see them again, maybe do another photo safari. It's a thought.

Comments

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

For more ridiculously cute animals, try typing "momonga" into google images.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Wow. It looks like an anime character.

[glenvorian.livejournal.com]

I'd laugh @ that pillow if it wasn't horrific. D:

[greedyskunk.livejournal.com]

My grandmother crocheted a four foot stuffed clown for me when I was a toddler. I'm unnerved by clowns now, but I would rather sleep with it than the Edward creepillow.

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

Hee, those cats win at bitchface.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

The round pupils just make them look so intelligent, IMO. Which just adds to the "You are a moron and I hate you" vibe they've got going on.

However: PRECIOUS. (http://www.flickr.com/photos/7629803@N05/3438004170)

[brett-the-vet.livejournal.com]

Laughed out loud on that one. Thanks for giving me a laugh today! I needed it :).

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heh. The man-pillow or the cat? Because the man-pillow did nothing but traumatize me.

[orca-girl.livejournal.com]

Coincidentally, a friend of mine is very into Pallas cats, and created a website to collect some stuff about them that I can share with you (she's also an artist who did all the artwork on the site):

http://www.pallascat.com/

[chulacabra.livejournal.com]

Stuffed Pallas Cat > Creepward Fetish Pillow

[greyduck.livejournal.com]

KITTY!

And, one of those pics gave me a terrible wonderful idea... enjoy (http://greyduck.net/gallery/view/Artwork/MemeSnark/PallasCatFailMacro.jpg.html)! *grin*

[dylan-weir.livejournal.com]

Those Pallas cats are begging to be macroed.

[waltzingalong.livejournal.com]

OH GOD MUST NOT GOOGLE EDWARD CULLEN MAN PILLOW.

The problem is we all know I'm going to.

[chulacabra.livejournal.com]

No need. (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37339934) You're welcome?

[ishara.livejournal.com]

I now know what nightmares are made of.

Soft cotton jersey, polyester stuffing, screen-printed overcommercialised sparklepire, and unspeakable horror.

Thank you. :|

[iczer6.livejournal.com]

Would you be interested in something really weird and interesting that has nothing to do with Twilight?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

It depends? Oh, sure.

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

I'm still in denial. As far as I'm concerned that is totally a Frida Kahlo pillow and no one can tell me different.

[kellyrfineman.livejournal.com]

OMG - Pallas cats! How did I live without having seen them before now? They are teh cuteness!

[soleta-nf.livejournal.com]

There needs to be a Pallas cat LJ mood theme.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I was sorely tempted to make one last night. And then I remembered I don't have my photo editing software back yet.

[easilyentranced.livejournal.com]

D: The pillow. I googled it and now I'm sad.

Good thing you posted all those cat pictures as a distraction.

[wondersheep.livejournal.com]

That said, I don't think it'll be very good for his dignity ("WHO IS A PRECIOUS FUZZY BABY? YOU ARE!")

And Pallas kitty is all, "dude, yeah, I get that a lot." and goes back to licking his butt.

Thank you for the mid-morning cranky kitty break! I want to pet them all and put hats on them so they give me scathing looks!

[ambiguousreason.livejournal.com]

the pillow just makes me think of james franco's recent 30 rock episode. YOU'RE BEING SUCH A NON-PILLOW RIGHT NOW.

[girlthethird.livejournal.com]

That episode is even funnier after you learn where the pillow ended up (http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2010/01/james_franco_why_he_joined_gen.html).

[julietvalcouer.livejournal.com]

But have you seen the Pampas Cat (http://www.arkive.org/media/C4/C40A617A-375F-4208-9D7E-B2EB473F867D/Presentation.Large/photo.jpg)? Because SQUEE.

Seriously, if I ever work for a zoo again and they have the Pallas cat and the Pampas cat or the Sand Cat they will have to dart me to keep from standing in front of their enclosures all day going "WHOS AN ICKLE KITTY-CAT?"

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

KITTY!

[nicolars.livejournal.com]

I think I also made this comment on Twitter, but if you're going to pay for an absolutely INSANE man pillow, at least buy one that's well crafted! That pillow is very poorly constructed and sewn. If I didn't value my soul and sanity, I could probably make a pretty decent profit on Etsy by making a better version of this.

[wings-on-water.livejournal.com]

Yes, I was horrified not so much by the idea, as by the terrible execution. It... doesn't even really look like a face, never mind RPattz's face, and it's on the head all crooked and the neck is way too long and the arms are terrifyingly bread-dough like... *shivers* Eugh. Creepycreepycreepy.

[sophiamcdougall.livejournal.com]

The Pallas's cat is beautiful but I can't quite cope with it. Cats are not meant to have people eyes and comedy eyebrows.

[creativexangst.livejournal.com]

But but but...does the vibrator have Edward's face on it!??!


(Although, i hear they're making ones that are cold and shiny, so you too can hump an undead shiny thing...)

[icewyche.livejournal.com]

Well, you could always attach the vibrator to the pillow at a strategic location and oh my Gods I need the brain bleach STAT. O_O

[lunarwolfik.livejournal.com]

I think those man pillows have scarred me for life. There's not many things I wish to unsee, but those definitely count. *shudders*

They would have the bonus use of being passable sneak-out tools and scaring the bejesus out of someone by artfully placing them in their bed in the middle of the night though...

[greyduck.livejournal.com]

BONUS use? More like the only acceptable use, I'm thinking... for very, VERY creative definitions of the word "acceptable," mind you.

(Note: Have not Googled, have not clicked, DO NOT WANT.)

[snacky]

Yes, I have seen the Edward Cullen "man pillow" on Etsy (it's half-man, half-pillow, and entirely made of NO)

A... a millow? :(

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

They were selling it as a "manllow," which made me orthographically angry, I don't know. I think it was the awkward "nll" combination that did it.

[anolinde.livejournal.com]

...The pillow sold out...

[trampchic.livejournal.com]

DUN DUN DUNNN

[dimloep-suum.livejournal.com]

Man-pillow? Murr?

*Googles*

...AWWHELLNO.

[stateofserenity.livejournal.com]

Oh.God. The pillow!

Everywhere I turn, the eyes follow me. I'm pretty sure I'd wake up in the middle of the night and find that thing hovering over me.

Gah...!

[icewyche.livejournal.com]

I googled the "man-pillow". I'm stupid that way.

...I don't know whether to laugh at the stupid or headdesk at the crazy.