Some linkspam before Lostnesday starts

[cleolinda]

So the McJackass clan has passed two more checks--this time at Target and Home Depot--so they're up to something like $2400 now. But that's not $2400 coming from us--as raven_feathers succinctly pointed out, "It's not about your money in your bank. It's about the swag." They're actually stealing from the retailers, not us, since banks tend to back their customers up, it seems. Of course, if the McJackass clan starts applying for credit cards under our name, we're screwed, but there you are. And it's already hellaciously inconvenient to go around with certified bank letters explaining what happened to everyone my mother's written checks to in the last two weeks. Plus, any automatic payments made on that account will have to be updated to the new debit/credit card as well.

(Since people brought the issue up: my mother does drop checks off to be mailed at official USPS boxes, so they weren't poached from our mailbox.)

I'm starting to worry about my mother's health, actually--my grandmother's had shingles for nine weeks now, and while they're almost gone, this has necessitated my mother and my aunt taking turns to go by her house to fix each meal and help her with the ointments, and the strain of constant running-around is starting to get to both of them. So then we have the Great Check-Washing Scam of 2008 and all the crapfulness that's entailed, and today my mother had to stand in line on her lunch hour (after taking care of my grandmother) at the DMV to re-pay for the family car tags, since those checks had bounced. Since it's the first of the month (which was particularly galling, since she'd gone out of her way to pay for our tags early), there were about a hundred people in line. And then the presiding deputy told eight of the ten women working the counters to go on to lunch. All at once. 80% of them. With a hundred people in line. "You have another story to tell your people," she said grimly when she stopped by the house (she calls y'all "my people"). "I'm standing there with steam coming out of my ears afraid I'm going to sink down through the floor because it's melted underneath me." That's not really a story; it's more just "a thing that happened without any climax or comeuppance or dénouement," but I wasn't about to tell her that.

My point is, I'm really worried about her stress levels. I mean, she's always been a type A personality, but I think she's got an overload of fuckery on her plate at the moment. I'm really hoping that I can finish these annotations (which I originally thought, somewhat hilariously, would take me a weekend) a few days before Mother's Day, so that hopefully I can write her a check and wrap it up in a pretty box and give it to her as a surprise. Any little bit I can pull together would help at this point, I think.

Oh, and the police department here said they would need to go to Columbus, Georgia, to file a report. The bank's already dealing with it, obviously, but they'd suggested we go to the police as well. So my mother's going to talk to her people--the UAB police department, whose benefits she administers and firing squabbles she mediates, to get their advice. (See, she has people, too. Everyone should have people, I think.)

Another massive linkspam--sorry about my spam management, you guys. : ( I've got some reader links, but I'm saving them for tomorrow so they're not completely lost in the tidal wave of awesome.

Father of LSD takes final trip... at the age of 102. Not exactly a fact they want to put in the Just Say No booklet, I'm guessing.

DNA confirms IDs of czar's children.

Americans unload prized belongings to make ends meet.

Absinthe's Mind-Altering Mystery Solved. "The culprit seems plain and simple: The century-old absinthe contained about 70 percent alcohol, giving it a 140-proof kick. In comparison, most gins, vodkas and whiskeys are just 80- to 100-proof."

American Idol Finally Runs Aground On Paula Abdul-Shaped Sandbar [Disasters]; Paula Abdul hits a sour note on ailing 'Idol'; PaulaGate 2008: Ms. Abdul does some 'splaining on Ryan Seacrest's radio show. What happened, for those of you who want the short version, is that the contestants were going to sing two songs this time--one song each, and then a second round later in the show. Pressed for time, the producers decided to have the judges comment only after the first five songs were finished, not after each individual song. So Paula's turn comes around, and she starts talking about Jason Castro's second song while Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson stare at her. She covers it up by stammering that she meant the notes for David Cook, but since Cook's second song turned out to be awesome, the "It was blah and you need to step up" criticism in question obviously wasn't for him. What it looked like at first was that Paula was completely on drugs. What it turned out to be is that the judges actually get to watch rehearsals, which is why you'll sometimes be listening to the David Archuleta critiques going, "Did they see the same performance I just saw?" Well, they did--but that might not be the one they're judging, if the rehearsal was significantly better or worse or they're just not paying attention at all. The whole thing was complicated by Ryan Seacrest, the host, alluding to the incident on Wednesday's results show--rather than explain the rehearsal thing (which could have made the entire show look bad), he simply made a weird, vague allusion to "rumors" about Paula and said that she was "part of the American Idol family" and they were going to stand by her. Which, again: made her look like she was completely on drugs.

Animal Idol! Low-profile singers of the wild.

David Blaine breaks world record for holding one's breath. How is he a magician, precisely?

New Zealand scientists thaw 1,000-pound squid corpse; Huge squid has soccer ball-sized eyes; You Fools, You'll Kill Us All!

Cosmic Log: Science swiftboated in 'Expelled.'

Owning 'Love Kitten' started book passion. "Love Kitten" is so the name of my next band.

Slate on the unexpected poetry of perfume reviews. (Via Bookslut.)

LOLVogue: Superhero Photo Shoot Gets Super Stoopid. Includes actual image macros!

James Frey's Last Interview? We Shall See; James Frey Lies A Couple More Times, Because Who's Still Counting?

Just what was this 'Scarlet' series?; 'Scarlet' is fake, still better than 'Cavemen.'

What's your stripper drag queen rock star pen name? Am I allowed to play this game, technically?

Langston, The Tortoise with Severe Time-Management Issues.

Johnny Depp Is Good For The Economy. This is something that Bush may want to look into.

Why The Church Of Scientology Won't Let Me Show You Their Propaganda Videos.

trailer_spot: Incredible Hulk, Towelhead, Wackness, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, Iron Man; Swing Vote, Take, Wanted, Edge of Heaven, Accidental Husband, Spirit.

Harry Potter Theme Park Construction Continues with Hogsmeade and More; Yule Ball Cho Chang at FAO Schwarz. Also, the Lexicon updated its "alohomora" entry, but neglected to credit the information to JK Rowling's testimony on the stand in the civil suit against the Lexicon.

(Speaking of Tonner movie dolls, I got an email regarding a Golden Compass doll sale [to coincide with the DVD release] from Tonner Direct, and it's... well, read it for yourself. And make sure you read the fine print at the bottom.)

The Prince Caspian Interactive Map.

New images: Prince Caspian posters (scroll to others at the bottom); Another Poster From 'The Dark Knight'; Salma Hayek Has a Giant Beard (for 'Cirque du Freak'); Indiana Jones; X-Files: I Want to Believe; Incredible Hulk; the Sleestaks of 'Land of the Lost' remake; Burn After Reading; My Name Is Bruce; I Love You Philip Morris; Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor poster; Henry Poole Is Here poster; My Winnipeg poster; You Don't Mess with the Zohan poster, which I will never be able to unsee; High School Musical 3 poster; Murph poster; Monster Camp poster; 10 Cool (i.e. Crazy) Japanese Star Wars Posters.

Jokerized Version of the Dark Knight Trailer! I'm not watching it because I haven't seen the original trailer bootleg yet, because I'm keeping myself pure for a HD version. Also: Dark Knight Trailer Reveals New Bat-Villain.

Sir Ian McKellen on 'The Hobbit.'

'Quantum' Spy Shots Of Craig And Kurylenko; Photos And Video: Craig And Taubman In Austria For 'Quantum' Filming; Daniel Craig Reportedly Insured For Nearly $10 Million; 'Quantum of Solace' - Official Blog Report #6; Austria Prepped For James Bond Filming.

'Iron Man' Unscripted at Moviefone; Iron Man 2 in 2010?; Fight for bucks: 'Grand Theft Auto' vs 'Iron Man'; Is Jackson's Fury In Iron Man?

Cloverfield Destroys DVD Charts.

Abrams aims to reinvent 'Trek' world.

Hugh Jackman Looks Towards ‘Batman Begins’ For ‘Wolverine’ Inspiration, Talks Sequels.

More Mummy Updates.

America Ferrera is 'Invisible.'

'My Girl' Starring in New, Non-'My Girl' Movie.

Clive Owen looking unamused on the set of 'Duplicity.'

Kidman to star in Dusty Springfield biopic.

Philip Noyce Directing Counterfeiter Biopic.

Liz Friedlander Will Helm 'I Am Charlotte Simmons.'

Angarano Promises ‘Stink’ & ‘Thunder’ From Flick By ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ Director.

'Transformers 2' Gets Another Babe; Jonah Hill Cast in Transformers 2 as Shia's Sidekick?! Note: these two headlines are completely unrelated.

'Lovely Bones' Shuts Down Over Creative Afterlife Differences.

First Look: Spider-Man's new (comic) foe.

Twilight Watch: More Set Photos, Jackson Rathbone Interview, and More!; ‘Twilight’ Fans Help Another MTV Staffer Get Hooked; Will ‘Twilight’ Make You Go, Go, Go To ‘Speed Racer’? In other words, there'll be a teaser for the former in front of the latter. Actually, I heard the new 'Dark Knight' trailer would also be in front of it, which is why I would go. Also: Twilight Moms are already a little... overinvolved; Time magazine explains the allure of the series. Also-also, I begin to sympathize with people who were sick of Harry Potter.

Is it Time for 'Mission: Impossible 4'!? Short answer: no. (Yes, Hollywood, I am available for paid consultation.)

The Gremlins Get Sucked Into the World of Advertising.

'Beverly Hills Chihuahua' Becomes a Small, Yapping Virus.

Coming Soon: Smell the Badness of Brett Ratner.

Uwe Boll, Marisa Miller, And Pudding? It’s The Most Bizarre Talk Show You Will Ever See; Uwe Boll Goes After Billy Zane. I think we should just start calling the last link in the spam "The Uwe Boll Slot."

Comments

[bewarethespork.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. Massive hugs and cookies and cake and love to you and your family. I really hope your mother is okay! (And you too, of course - you already sound like you've got a lot to worry about, and this can't be helping!)

Here's hoping the McJackass clan get what's coming to them and this whole thing gets sorted out soon!

[callmesyd.livejournal.com]

Also, the Lexicon updated its "alohomora" entry, but neglected to credit the information to JK Rowling's testimony on the stand in the civil suit against the Lexicon.

BWAHAHAHAHA!

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

Oh, FAIL.
(Like that's surprising, but.)

[incogra.livejournal.com]

Ooh, shiny Narnia map!

Aw, I love that your mom calls us your people. And I hope things get better for you all soon.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

(she calls y'all "my people")

We are a proud people.

We kind of need a name, though. Cleostanis? Cleolindies? Cleologians? (Jonesians makes it sound like we drank the Kool-Aid.)

[bluebren.livejournal.com]

Cleologians it is!!

Also OMG your dog.

[poisoned-candyy.livejournal.com]

Harhar. The Cho doll looks like a guy in drag.

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

re: absinthe - As I commented to another fine writer's article about the stuff, a few years ago, most of its terror and allure seems quite simply explainable: it's just knock-you-on-your-ass strong. People accustomed to a little wine with dinner aren't prepared for it.

[sunni-sideup.livejournal.com]

The news about the czar's family fills me with glee. Which makes me think I'm a bit too much of a history nerd.

Also, Peter Jackson is so diva on this Lovely Bones movie. This is the second fight he's had with the crew/cast.

[mercat.livejournal.com]

I am right with you on the DNA testing, but that could be because I heard that part of history from the best storyteller history teacher ever. =D

[etherealshores.livejournal.com]

What news? I'm missing something.

[kittenkatt.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you guys already have, but just in case know that fraud alerts can be placed on your credit with the main companies. It's part of the government's Deter, Detect, Defend (http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/microsites/idtheft/) program.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

"(Since people brought the issue up: my mother does drop checks off to be mailed at official USPS boxes, so they weren't poached from our mailbox.)"

FWIW, earlier this year our mailman was arrested for having stolen mail, incoming and outgoing, in our town. He'd go through, grab checks and wash them, get credit cards, etc. He had a faboo scam going.

Basically, I don't trust the mail anymore ;D

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

*facepalm*

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

Sad, isn't it? I lost 2 checks (one a CASHIER'S CHECK anyone could cash because my mother is an idiot) and who knows what else.

Now, I pay bills either via the net or phone. I only send checks via slow-route Fedex or other things that give me a receipt.

Paranoid? If we hadn't discovered the larcenous mailman, I'd say yes :D

[maetang.livejournal.com]

I hope things work out OK for your mother, and that the situation with the fraudsters get resolved soon.

[duncanatrix.livejournal.com]

I'm just gonna say it...I'd recommend giving your mother cash, not a check, for Mother's Day, although the irony there is a little funny.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeee. Let's just say it's an ornamental check, and we can tear it up afterwards.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

Huh. AOL has a article about $5,000 cookware, and you have one about people selling their dvd's off to pay the power bill. The slow slide into hell starts with a rich-poor gap that couldn't be bridged by Evil Knievel on a homemade rocket ship.

[msilverstar]

What kat said -- go to the credit agency pages and put a fraud alert on her name, so they have to check before issuing a card. Or at least, they have less scope to charge you for the privilege :-/

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

Hey, just wanted to let you know I'm here for you if you need another set of eyes on anything. I hope your mom doesn't stress out too much!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heh, yeah--I may actually need your legal advice (again) on "Dracula," because as I'm rereading it, there's a disconcerting number of lines quoted directly from the original. I mean, each use of an original line is followed up by something that basically comments on that line, but... I'm getting concerned. I mean, it was fine as a non-commercial venture, but the game is different now, obviously.

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

Well, you can send along whatever you have questions on to the "law" email if/when you need to. I'll do my best to eyeball it and see if there are any DANGER signs. :)

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

P.S. And my parents are bringing my copyright, trademark and communications law books with them when they come visit this weekend. Hurrah! Not that I couldn't find any statutes or whatever I might need to reference online, but the textbooks are so handy.

...isn't it sad when you go, "WHEE, my parents are bringing me TEXTBOOKS!" That's just weird.

[souda.livejournal.com]

*hearts*


Best wishes for your and your Mom.

[galaxianomiko.livejournal.com]

I knew *someone* had to be talking about that Vogue issue out there in comic fan land. The minute I saw it I thought I'd never be hearing the end of ranting about it, but nobody seemed to have noticed.

[mercat.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I finally got that penname link to work.

Douglas T(opaz) Jones. I rather like it though I am female. Or I guess I could go with my favorite female author and be back at something that is almost my name anyhow! Weird. =P

[edda.livejournal.com]

Apparently it's quite a week for check forgery (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080502/ap_on_fe_st/odd_check_for_billions). Jesus, is there a virus going around or something?

[youngcurmudgeon.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's called "I Am Charlotte Simmons." I originally read that as "I Am Charlotte Lennox." Which would still be a fantastic movie, but ...

[velvet4269.livejournal.com]

Cleo - she should just be able to call the police dept. in Georgia to file the report. That's all my customer had to do, was make a quick phone call. They're pretty familiar with it.

the McJackass Clan have a Texas branch?

[gwei-mui.livejournal.com]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080502/ap_on_fe_st/odd_check_for_billions;_ylt=Ao0DDZjgCbwoHVn_XGf0fA8DW7oF

[sneaky-minx.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I've been meaning to comment on the scam situation for a while, but have been busy. *major hugs to you and your family* When it rains if fucking pours, doesn't it? Serious sympathies to your mom. She sounds like a saint. Before this, my only image of her was of the little lady who said "Oh my God, that's Arwen's Daddy" at the end of V for Vendetta. Now, though, I can see her going all spazzed-out!Galadriel on those bastards. I hope this gets settled soon. I mean, how many shopping sprees under $700 can a person do at the main chain stores?

All the best doll!

[phorie.livejournal.com]

I love Twilight, I loved the books with a passion.... but the fans are a thousand times more embarassing than any Harry Potter fan I've ever met *shakes fist* durn kids.