A few things

[cleolinda]

So. Not feeling much better; spent the weekend in a very grim, self-pitying funk. But I'm going back to work ("work") today because you have to move on with life. I think I'm actually going through kind of a post-partum project-completion slump, what with the first e-book finished. The only problem is, I now have to finish the second one, which casts a sort of "Sorry, your princess is in another castle" pall over the whole thing. C'est la vie.

Also, I should probably get on this Twilight tea-tasting thing. (That's our godforsaken vampire-related beverage. I was not lucky enough to get any TruBlood--sadly, because I hear that stuff is actually really good, a blood orange-flavored soda or something.) Question: what's the best way to make hot tea? I usually drink iced tea, so I have no idea--water at an actual boil? Steep for five minutes? I don't even know, and I don't think these things came with instructions. I'm probably going to make all three samples at once and get it over with--swish and spit if it's really awful, I guess. God help us all. But especially me.

Meanwhile, a college friend of mine is a movie critic now, and he announced that he could get me a screener copy of The Twilight Porn (tagline: "When you can fuck forever... you can fuck everybody"). I've never even seen actual hardcore, and I don't think my embarrassment squick could handle starting with this, but I know of someone else who might be willing to take that bullet. We'll see. I know I keep trying Twilight products "for science," but I don't love nobody that much, least of all science. "Twilight porn" is an extremely uncomfortable phrase as it is; these are two words that do not want to be in the same sentence together. Twilight is huddled in the corner weeping, and porn is banging on the quotation marks trying to get out.

Also-also: The Sparkenpire is now available at Toys'R'Us. You can, in fact, see the actual sparkle coating if you zoom in. (It's getting to be the season for Twi-spam, isn't it? I'll corral those into separate entries after this, for convenience of avoidance.) In cheerfuller Barbie developments: Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper, and Joan Jett dolls.

(In response to "Hello, my name is Twilight and I am a Dracula": I R not a Dracula!)

And finally: Tour of Terror II dates and locations have been announced. This time it's at various Hot Topics AND Nordstroms! I KNOW YOU ARE EXCITED. (All the replies to my link on Twitter were along the lines of "NOT MY CITY, OH GOD NOOOOOO.") The closest it gets to me is the ATL, which is still too damn close. (I don't know what Atlanta did to deserve this; it already got burnt to the ground once.) Invest in riot gear. You're going to need it.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Comments

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

Here's a link to a post I made a while ago - How to make Tea for One (http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/304501.html). Always meant to make another post talking about how to make pot tea, but I haven't yet.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, these are tea bags (although I do have a tea ball. Well, it's more like a tea star).

[lyrangalia]

Oh GOD. They're coming to Houston.

Somebody hold me...

[off_coloratura]

A general rule of thumb:

Black tea: boiling water, steep 3 minutes. Green tea, white tea and herbal tea: steaming water, five minutes.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Uh... I'm not sure what all this is. Hm. Appears to be two black teas and one herbal/fruit.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Sadly, I would totally be willing to take the bullet for Twilight porn. Any embarrassment squick I had over porn died a quick death a looooooong time ago.

[marzikin.livejournal.com]

I'm squeeing myself at the thought of advising you on this one.

*ahem*

In order to make good tea, you need to use boilING, not boilED water, straight from the kettle, and if you want to be really picky, you should use the water the first time it's boiled, not the second (and so forth - it's something about boiling away all the oxygen or some such).

If it's teabags, it's advisable to dunk them up and down, rather than/as well as stirring. If it's leaf tea, stir and let steep. Then I'd go on taste. Again, if you want to be picky, warm your cup with a swill of water from the kettle, pour it away, then pour in a little of the tea to taste. : ) Do this until you get to a strength you like. This isn't official advice, but it's what seems logical to me. : ) Different teas need to be steeped for different lengths of time (I've had some herbal teas that need seven, but with typical bog standard tea, I don't even leave it to steep, I swirl, dunk, squeeze, repeat, and take the bag out, and everyone seems to like it... > >)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Wow. This is... complicated. And it looks like two blacks and a fruit/herbal, so it's not like this is going to be easy and consistent. Tea is hard, y'all.

[bexone.livejournal.com]

ahahaha, i see that the RIOT last time has not discouraged them from bringing the tour of terror back to stonestown. note to self: stay far, far away from the city on november 11.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, snap, SF? That was the one where the girl actually got slammed into the front door, wasn't it? And the other girl fainted?

[musikologie.livejournal.com]

If it's a Twilight-related tea product, it's probably not a high-caliber tea? So I wouldn't worry about it.

I would totally watch Twilight porn for science. Well, lolz. But I could pretend it was science.

[wee-warrior.livejournal.com]

Question: what's the best way to make hot tea?

Is it tea bags? If so, you boil water, let it cool a bit (should still be hot, but not boiling anymore), pour it in your mug and leave the tea bag in for around 2 to 3 minutes if you want it to be energizing, and up to 5 minutes if you want it to be calming. If it is flavoured, it's probably going to be pretty strong, so I'd advice to stick with 2 to 3 minutes. (Also, make sure your tea bag is for a mug and not for a pot - unless you want to make a whole pot of tea, of course.)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Thing is--I have no idea how much the bag is for. It's a bookseller merchandising sample--I have absolutely no idea. I guess I could poke around the tea's official site and try to figure it out? Or drink some really freakin' strong tea.

[t4-flirt.livejournal.com]

Hot tea is my saving grace. Boil water, then steep the bag for five minutes. I usually add a touch of sugar to whatever I'm drinking. Lemon is a bonus if I have it and am sick.

Sparklepire Barbie? Uh, no. The hair is hideous. Or else I'd be tempted. I just bought my fourth Barbie in a year and the girls need some shelfian male companions. (Damn TLE for making me gain a somewhat soft spot for Edwardian-types.)

And thank the gods...Miami is as close as that hell is coming to me. (I'm in Sarasota.) I am already dreading the on-slaught of teenies at the mall the nanosecond the movie opens. *shudder*

[swordmage.livejournal.com]

If I wasn't fairly sure my husband would be horrified, I would consider suggesting going to Phoenix to watch the madness..

[divadeanna.livejournal.com]

"Twilight porn" is an extremely uncomfortable phrase as it is; these are two words that do not want to be in the same sentence together. Twilight is huddled in the corner weeping, and porn is banging on the quotation marks trying to get out.

Tears in my eyes, I'm laughing so hard. lol

[chulacabra.livejournal.com]

THIS.

[marzikin.livejournal.com]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A61345

This might help some? : D Or else just make matters more confusing... I know there's another tea essay I've read out on the 'net somewhere, I just can't remember who wrote it. Some literary chap.

Regarding the Tour of Terror II

[elfin-miss.livejournal.com]

It's times like these that make me very happy to be Canadian

Re: Regarding the Tour of Terror II

[sachielle.livejournal.com]

yeah yeah yeah, rub it in why don't you? Aw hell, it's coming to DC. I'm gonna get stuck in traffic for this crap.

[evilstorm.livejournal.com]

I would GLADLY watch Twilight porn for the lulz, having long since been desensitized to hardcore.

[sunnygirlva20.livejournal.com]

This. Porn makes me giggle.

[internal666.livejournal.com]

Oh pfft. It's not coming to Atlanta proper, there isn't even a Hot Topic in Atlanta. It's in the Mall of Georgia which is like, a half an hour away. So there shouldn't be any city wide riots, unless they cancel it or something.

[lookoutsunshine.livejournal.com]

I'm confused...Because the Nordstrom website says Perimeter Mall. I couldn't find anything about the tour on the Hot Topic website though.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

I never thought I'd say this, but I might actually need that Joan Jett Barbie.

[bishsticks.livejournal.com]

Never seen or read Twilight, but I'd actually consider watching Twilight porn. Because if I can sit through "Star Whores: The Phantom Anus," I think I can sit through anything.

[trampchic.livejournal.com]

OMG, porn titles. (So much better than the actual content.)

"The Bare Wench Porject".

"In Diana Jones: Temple of Poon".

[puredeadthingy.livejournal.com]

As a Brit, I feel sad that I have no personal preference to make tea. But here's how I make a cuppa for my mum:

Boil kettle.
Get out mug and tea and whatnot.
Put tea in mug.
Pour just-boiled water over tea in mug.
Forget if Mum has the skimmed or semi-skimmed milk
Go to ask her
Get correct milk out of the fridge
Remove tea
Pour milk in
Stir a bit
Return milk to fridge
Trip over cat
Give cat some ham or something from the fridge so she won't get under my feet again
Realise I've put the mug in the fridge and left the milk out
Correct mistake
Hand mug to mother.

[clayrblu.livejournal.com]

Oh, goodness, I really did lol for a good five minutes at Twilight in the corner weeping and PORN banging on the quote marks trying to get out. (And I'm still giggling)

Thanks for not doing a recap or anything of the script for it. I do not think I could handle the Twilight porn even for lulz but if you wrote something on it, I would have to end up read it and then I would be the one in the corner weeping... and probably also dry heaving. :(

And good luck with the tea... I do not have a lot of faith in it being very good... so maybe prepare a chaser as well?

And plus also, I hope everything cheers up for you very soon.

[luna-k.livejournal.com]

I boil the water all the way and let the tea bag seep for about two or three minutes. Any more and I find the tea is too strong.

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

I kinda sorta really want all of those Barbie dolls.

The closest it gets to me is the ATL, which is still too damn close. (I don't know what Atlanta did to deserve this; it already got burnt to the ground once.) Heh. I'm in NC, and even with the whole state of South Carolina as a buffer, I'm still scared. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to hear the screams from here.

[scarolinagrl.livejournal.com]

Well, since I'm in SC, I'll try my best to keep the screams from reaching you. Never say I didn't take one for the team!

it's things like this that make me somewhat glad that the Carolinas are skipped over for lots of 'promotional' things.

[suppi-the-great.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha, we got the Twilight Porn in at my work last week (I work at a movie rental store, and we have an... extensive porn collection), and we all nearly died laughing at the ad box. It is unfortunately in a long line of movies called "This isn't/ain't (insert popular movie here)" that are half hilarious parody, half hardcore porn.

[trampchic.livejournal.com]

So it's really a porn parody? I'm in! (hohoho) I really want to see it now.

I know, I know, I'm weird.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

I've never even seen actual hardcore,

I was kind of startled by this, given how many years you've been on the internet, and how many strange and disgusting things people send you.

[sirinde.livejournal.com]

I R not a dracula! = Ded from cute!

[ladyvyola.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear god.

It's coming to my mall -- Fair Oaks in Virginia. This may be epic.

Trufax: I was a roadie for Barney the Dinosaur at this mall. Many, many years ago -- it was Barney's last mall tour before they went strictly to concert venues. He was doing JC Penney stores as a merchandise tie-in thing and there was a huge riot/debacle in a PA store just before he came to ours. So the store manager talked to the mall management and arranged for the line to be all out in the mall instead of in the store.

(I was recruited because my mother worked at Penney's and "volunteered" me to help. Thanks, Mom!)

The plan was that Barney would stay in front of JCP and the line would advance past him. Well, turns out Barney was only scheduled for about 2 hours and before you knew it, the line went completely around the mall walkway -- in front of each store, down each wing, past each entrance. And each tiny child had at least 2 adults with them -- often more.

We're talking lots and lots of line. And not a whole lot of Barney to go around. When it became apparent that there was no way that the line would be able to move fast enough, the decision was made to move Barney past the line. So we formed a flying wedge and escorted Barney along the line, his paw extended to brush every toddler head he could as we whisked him completely around the mall.

I have never feared for my life more.

[sunnygirlva20.livejournal.com]

OMG its coming to Fair Oaks!? Ok that is way too close and Im like an hour and a half away! I will pray for you.