I had a really hard time deciding between this icon and the WTF Keira Face

[cleolinda]

So I heard this song on Pandora and the chorus got stuck in my head, so finally I went to iTunes and bought it. (By the way--if you buy a song on your phone, how do you get it over to the iTunes on your computer? Because I'd really like for the sync process to not erase it.) So I'm sort of head-tossing and shoulder-dancing along with it while I'm writing in my journal like the thirteen-year-old I so entirely am. You know, as you do. The lyrics were a bit creepy in an obsessive/submissive way--

Yesterday I heard your voice
Whispering through all the noise
I pretended I couldn't hear you
But you kept on pursuing me
And you began to move in me
And I just couldn't hide any more
I won't fight you

Go ahead
Take what you want to
Take what you need to
Don't let me hold you back

--but I hear the kids like that kind of thing these days, BELLA, so okay. And you know how people use "God" in a non-religious way, to be emphatic? Like, "God, I'm so crazy about you!" Yeah. So there was the line "God, I trust you." And then there was "God, I was so wrong/ To stay away so long/ Oh, how I need you!" And I was kind of like... wait.

@cleolinda I hate that moment when you're rocking out like a dork and then you go, "Wait... is this Christian rock?"

@cleolinda I mean, no offense, but you've got your sultry face on and it's... a song about God. Awkward. SO UNSPEAKABLY AWKWARD.

@count_01 @cleolinda Oh, yeah. Hence, the Love or Worship? twitter game, wherein we tweet lyrics and try to guess...

@cleolinda @count_01 "You began to move in me."

@count_01 @cleolinda *shudder* I'm assuming that's worship.

@cleolinda @count_01 Well, I just realized FIVE MINUTES AGO that it is!

@cleolinda @count_01 "Go ahead, do what you have to, cause I want to know you." BIBLICALLY.

@count_01 @cleolinda I...wow. That's up there on the tough-o-meter for "Love or Worship?" (assuming this is another Worship example tho)

@cleolinda @count_01 It's the same song! Fireflight, "Go Ahead." I heard it on Pandora and it got stuck in my head! I didn't KNOW!

@count_01 @cleolinda Remarkably interchangeable imagery, that. Salaciously interchangeable, even.

@count_01 @cleolinda Does actually sound fairly rockin'. Which is...a little disturbing. Because I somehow expect sacred songs to come from Bach.

@count_01 @cleolinda ...who was of course, infamous for composing past midnight, loudly, while hammered off his ass.

@count_01 @cleolinda So basically I guess it's entirely all right to rock out for the Lord. Bach did it. And he was DRUNK.

@cleolinda @count_01 See, I just wanna be real clear that we're rockin' for the Lord *before* I get all sexyface about it.

The last week or so has been jam-packed with Do Not Want, so I'm going to link you to all of it so that everyone else, in turn, can stop sending the links to me.

Sugar Daddy Ken. This is absolutely a real Mattel product. They claim the dog's name is Sugar, and thus Ken is "Sugar's daddy," but I think we all know what's going on here. Also: They AGED the Ken's face. I didn't even know you could DO THAT.

A closer look at/review of Sparkle Ken. I think Sugar Daddy Ken might be interested in this.

The Succu-Dry. Not safe for work or, I suspect, penises. That said, the combination of wordplay and vulgarity has resulted in the most magnificent product name I have ever seen.

The Panties. Not safe for brains. Do not click this link. I am so incredibly serious. Do not click this, you have so much to live for. But I have to post it so people will stop sending it to me. Yes, it's worse than Bella's Felted Womb. It will destroy your faith in whatever deity you do or do not believe in. Let us never speak of this again.

And finally, in a revival of our beloved Uwe Boll Slot: Uwe Boll. Darfur. Actual rape victims. I don't see how this could possibly go wrong!


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Comments

[zeelandia.livejournal.com]

Bella's felted womb? That sounds more like a curse than a thing.

Me: *brings hammer down on finger*
Me: BELLA'S FELTED WOMB!!! That hurt!

I am not going to click the link, no matter how curious I might be for I have seen the PANTIES.

[fading-october.livejournal.com]

You haven't seen the felted womb? Omg

[willendinrain.livejournal.com]

I looked . . . oh, the burning. I hate myself.

[such_heights]

This. *cries*

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

I hate that moment when you're rocking out like a dork and then you go, "Wait... is this Christian rock?"
Ha! Yes!! It's like, "Uh oh, am I rocking out to THE LORD?"

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, God, I've had that moment. Because one of the presets on my car radio is the college radio station around here that tends to play a lot of cool underground stuff I haven't heard before, and I'll flip through the channels bouncing around thinking I'm listening to the college station and instead OH NO THIS IS GOD COUNTRY GET IN THE CAR.

[greyduck.livejournal.com]

OH NO THIS IS GOD COUNTRY GET IN THE CAR

...needs to be an icon. Possibly featuring a member of U2, but I'm open to cleverer ideas. Hmm.

The Panties.

[jack-rowen.livejournal.com]

IT'S SO EDWARD CAN PROTECT YOU. FROM YEAST INFECTIONS.

Re: The Panties.

[angevin2.livejournal.com]

[greyduck.livejournal.com]

I should have learned after all the time I've been following flemco when he says "DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK" and for a while there I clicked anyway and YE GODS MY BRAIN IS NOW BROKEN.

The Panties: Not Safe For Your Brain.

[hokuton_punch]

Your icon is not safe for my brain. DDDDDDDDDDD:

[denitta.livejournal.com]

you buy a song on your phone, how do you get it over to the iTunes on your computer?

While connected to iTunes, right-click on the Phone itself. There shold be an option "Transfer Purchases". Please note that this may transfer everything you've ever purchased from your phone/iTunes.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Excellent! I've only purchased this one song since getting the phone, so that won't be a problem.

[fading-october.livejournal.com]

I seem to experience a sudden musical deflation if I find out it's a Christian rock band....I dunno, it just feels like it's cheating to me.

[manekikoneko.livejournal.com]

In all my Barbie years, I don't recall that Barbie was ever explicitly pregnant. Other dolls were, but they had their own little doll families, even though Ken and Barbie have been together for longer. Barbie was a doctor and an astronaut and a politician, and she apparently hated math, but she never settled down.

So if any one ever doubted that their relationship was a facade, I'm pretty sure Ken's choice of lapdog and retirement to SoFla confirms the rumors.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Actually, she was. There was a Barbie with interchangeable "flat" and "pregnant" stomachs, and I believe a little baby fit inside the pregnant stomach.

[orca-girl.livejournal.com]

Re. "Barbie Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken" -- okay, look (and I can't believe I am the first to observe this; I am probably the 531st, including your allusion to Sparkle Ken above), but...

The hair? The outfit? The JACKET? The little white dog? The PINK dog collar and leash?

There is NO WAY that this is *Barbie's* Sugar Daddy Ken, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

[sevenmarie.livejournal.com]

yeah i think that is why it is palm beach ken.... ;)

sufficed to say i totally sent that link to my friend charles! who collects dolls....

[schmoo999.livejournal.com]

Damn, I want to click on The Panties but now am scared to do so and lose my brain in the process. Oh what to do what to do.

[jaysta-11.livejournal.com]

From someone who thought the same thing: DO. NOT. CLICK.

[tanz-fanatika.livejournal.com]

Sugar Daddy is sadly no longer a real product. Mattel says: One of the concepts in the line was a Ken doll. We posted the photo with the internal "working" name and the photo and name was also released to dealers. The Ken concept is not part of the official spring Palm Beach product line.

Popular theory is that Mattel caved to pressure and dropped him, not that he was just a "concept."

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Awwww. Yeah, I think he was real, because there was a lot of descriptive text on the EE page--"For adult collectors only," etc. Which proves to me that they actually thought in terms of selling it.

[calenture.livejournal.com]

There`s a TVTrope for that: God Is Love Songs. (http://tvtropes.or/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodIsLoveSongs) *Warning: TVTropes link. Do not click if you value the rest of your day.*

[greedyskunk.livejournal.com]

Nooo! Not a TV Tropes link! I got sucked into that site for the first time last week and really did spend my *entire* workday poking around it. Hmm, my inbox isn't that full. One little click won't hurt....

[jaysta-11.livejournal.com]

Considering Fireflight is one of my favorite bands, how did I not catch this about that song?!

D:

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I'm not real astute when it comes to God songs unless there's an actual "JESUS I PRAISE YOUR NAME"-type lyric, honestly. I didn't realize until earlier this year that U2's "Until the End of the World" was about Judas and Jesus, and I've had that CD since 1990 or '91, whenever it first came out.

I think the reason I don't like Christian music as a genre is because it's so clearly about one thing: God. There's no room for interpretation or personalization. You can't be like, "This is the song that reminds me of that guy I was in love with when I was seventeen, because it's so totally him." The first few times I heard "Go Ahead," I was like, "Wow, this is kind of creepy, but you can look at it as kind of a character study of the kind of girl who would be like, 'Take what you want to, do whatever you want to me, I'm that obsessed with you.' That's kind of interesting. I don't want to be this person, but I've felt like that a couple of times, I can kind of identify with it a little." Then I find out it's about God, and it's like... oh. Well. Never mind then.

[dragonsblog.livejournal.com]

God rock just makes me think of the commercials with the compilations of Christian rock and all the clutching crying girls. God! Tears! There's probably some sort of essay in that.

[icepearls.livejournal.com]

omg hahahahahhahaa xD
the panties. the womb. the sugar daddy. text accompanying the succu-dry. SPARKLING BLUE BALLS!!

*dies*

[icewyche.livejournal.com]

The panties were bad enough, but...Bella's Felted Womb?!? D-: Whoever came up with that needs to be banned from craft AND fabric stores in perpetuity.

Some people have WAAAY too much time on their hands.

[elle-blessing.livejournal.com]

*GIGGLES* that was a vastly entertaining Twitter conversation. FYI, though, Fireflight's music is pretty good all around (I also found them on Pandora). Another song you might like is 'Unbreakable.'

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I might have heard that one--there was a point early on where the Paramore station played nothing but Fireflight and Flyleaf, whoever that is. I'd never heard of either of them before, but then I stopped listening to the radio about ten years ago, when the Clear Channel-type behemoths started taking over.

[sevenmarie.livejournal.com]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fireflight

i am going with "you were rocking out to the LORD"

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I DIDN'T KNOOOOOOOOW

[mokeyhokey.livejournal.com]

The Panties are, indeed, unspeakably horrible, but what I genuinely love about them is the picture on the front. Like, I think it's supposed to be Edward looking ~seductive~ but in reality he looks just as chagrined as we are that he's been made a part of this horrorshow.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I notice a lot of Edward products look like that. Like the shower curtain, where Photoshop Stamp Filter Edward looks extremely pissed off to be hanging over some girl's bathtub.

Honestly, I should have realized the candy hearts were a bad idea when even the Edward picture on the box looked (literally) green around the gills. Like, zombie green.

[greedyskunk.livejournal.com]

God Rock reminds me of my high school years when I was big into DC Talk, Audio Adrenaline, The Newsboys, and Jars of Clay. I'm waaay out of that scene now, but I'll still pop in a CD from time to time and rock out to "Flood."

[ungelic-is-us.livejournal.com]

Flood is a good song. I still occaisionally listen to ReliantK, because they never felt like they had to meet a quota on the Jesus-o-meter. You know, this song has to mention Jesus X amount of times to be good Christian music. They actually sang about things that have little or nothing to do with religion, like the 80's.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_autumncolours/]

I looked at the panties. I regret this immensely. I am not entirely sure my mind will ever recover.

Highly amused by your inadvertant confusion between the Edward Cullen type and God... I'm a Christian, but frequently have the other problem - when you think you're having a little worship rock out and then it's like, "Wait, he is definitely singing about A GIRL. Did...did I just try and praise God with this song?" I'm not sure which is most unnerving.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's awkward too--that's a tough one, I can't decide either. It's probably less... something... because you were at least in a good (I can't think of a better word) frame of mind, as opposed to me having a Moment of Truth and being all like, "I AM SO SORRY!"

[mystical-aria.livejournal.com]

I've done the rocking out to Christian Rock... and then I stopped. Because I realized I would rather listen to country than that.

*cough*

AND THE PANTIES OMG. My friend tweeted me on it: Bahahaha Imagine if you forget your period is coming. I'm seriously disturbed by that image. I can imagine forgetting you have those panties on and you go to the bathroom and suddenly scream because you see what's on the crotch. -.- Just keep it away from me kthnx.

[karintheswede]

Oh, god, now I'm really, really regretting looking at the panties.

[reynardine.livejournal.com]

Sultry face? Rocking to God? Sounds like...St. Teresa of Avila!!!



Gotta love being Catholic. ;-D

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heh, yeah. I was just mentioning that to someone else--it's not really the sexual metaphor that bothers me; it's pretty time-honored and even apt, but I just want to know GOING IN that that's where we're going with it, instead of me rocking out like a dork for half an hour and then being like OH SHIT.

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

I about died laughing when I saw your Twitter last night. It's even funnier now that I'm reading the lyrics.

As creepy and not-of-the-lord as those panties are, you know, you just know that somebody from Summit saw those and is lamenting the fact that they didn't come up with the idea first.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

You know the generic sparkle vibrator and, yes, the Succu-Dry? Things people were able to manufacture that take advantage of the bandwagon without actually infringing on the Twilight ownership rights?

I'm just saying: sparklepires don't even have fangs. You put fangs on your merch, you're automatically out of the licensing woods. There is an underwear manufacturer out there who has a lightbulb over his head RIGHT NOW.