I can't believe I'm doing this

[cleolinda]

Okay, look. I can't be at the computer a whole lot and I can post links even less, particularly since I'm cleaning madly for the lunchtime electricians, but we have got to get a few things out of the way because this is the subject of half my inbox this morning:

Yes, I have seen the sparklecock. Yes, you too can now own your own unofficially Twilight-themed glitter dildo. Well, technically I haven't looked at it yet, although I have read the description ("THROW IT IN THE FRIDGE FOR THAT AUTHENTIC EXPERIENCE"?), because I am on the family computer and I will never, ever be able to explain this.

And yes, Edward's life-size shadow can watch you while you use it.

Excuse me, I have to go bleach my mind's eye now.


(Also, Amazon's Tonner prom exclusive Bella has her own little leg cast. Apparently the doll's product name--the way the SDCC Edward exclusive was "Hungry"--is "Turn Me." I... I really don't like thinking about all three of these items being in the same room.)

Comments

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Please. If they would actually do it, they'd have thought of it by now. If anyone's going to, it's probably already waiting in my PO box as we speak.

[queenanthai.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't dismiss it out of hand. You might need it after the past couple of weeks. XD

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised they didn't name it The Unicorn, honestly.

[queenanthai.livejournal.com]

Yeahhhhhhh, about that.... (http://janesguide.com/wpmu/toys/2009/02/10/horn-dildo-from-whipspider-rubberworks/)

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Okay, that just makes that fic where orgasms = unicorns even worse now.

[beachlass.livejournal.com]

Shhh... Dop't tell her you can buy unicorn themed dildos. She's having a hard enough week.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, I was absolutely sure you could. I was just half-thinking that they'd name an actual Twilight toy "The Unicorn" because of that one fanfic.

[queenanthai.livejournal.com]

...what fanfic?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

YOU KNOW THE ONE, WITH ORGASMS CALLED UNICORNS, WE DISCUSSED THIS please don't make me find it.

[lisa-zj.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahaha! oh noes, hahahahaha! OMG, dying. Just. ded.

[octotoes.livejournal.com]

I'm at work so I can't bring myself to click on the link...just please, PLEASE tell me they don't describe it as being made out of marble, granite, or any other *hard* substance.

[celticwitch99.livejournal.com]

Oh god. I was at work when I opened it and immediately sent an email to over half the people I work with. Hilarity ensued, along with discussions on different flavors of popsicles for...certain purposes.

Srsly. The people in my department are warped, but in a good way.

[karmyn75.livejournal.com]

Give it a few weeks. It's not officially released yet.

[silverusagi]

Now I'm picturing The Littlest Edward standing next to the sparklecock. There doesn't need to be a story, really, just a picture...

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

That's just what his inferiority complex needs.

[salamandersam.livejournal.com]

My suggestion if someone does send you one? Sell that sucker on ebay.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, I would definitely take pictures of it. I would probably be laughing too hard to hold the camera straight, though.

(THIS IS NOT A REQUEST TO BE SENT ONE)

(I WOULD PROBABLY DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT)