cleolinda: (galadriel doll)
[personal profile] cleolinda
Like many kerfuffles on The Shelf, the next one was also my fault. Everyone had settled down, despite the occasional undercurrent of disgruntlement (Anna and Elizabeth still awkwardly avoiding each other, Eowyn yearning for Edward's tiny broodsomeness, Faramir yearning for Eowyn to get a clue), and I, like a dumbass, had to go and say something. Galadriel was off reading Lyra a bedtime story (Island of the Blue Dolphins, only somewhat retold to include a very cold island and a polar bear), and Serafina was combing her hair over on my pile of research books, as she does (it gets tangly with all that flying around), and I looked over and deadpanned, "So, you picked out that lover yet?"

Yeah. Serafina's sartorial nonchalance had already led to some concern (female as well as Edwardian) around The Shelf. And while she just laughed and said, "No, I'm still browsing," Edward--with his super-sensitive sparklepire ears--heard us, and so he ran straight to Galadriel and snitched.

"I am only concerned for her safety," he insisted. "Given that I am prone to dazzling the fairer sex, and [he lowered his voice to a level mere tinyfont cannot represent] you know what a dangerous, intemperate monster I am. My urges cannot be controlled! My incredible speed, my overwhelming strength--she can fly, but she could never escape!"

"I'll make your concerns known," Galadriel assured him. (There's no telling if he was afraid the shameless Serafina might strip him of his virtue, or hoping, or afraid that he was hoping. With the Littlest Edward, any neurosis is possible.) So of course Galadriel then came straight to me, mostly to laugh (gently) at Edward. "Can you imagine? Poor deluded thing. I mean, he is a very handsome boy but--he's a third her size!" And there I am over at my desk facepalming. Because of course it was all over The Shelf by the next day.

Faramir Two, of course, was particularly indignant when Serafina's eyes lingered over Fugagorn (who was, at that moment, helping White Arwen down from her perch on the window sill): "If I can refrain from breaking them up, she can too!" I suspect he went over to compliment Serafina on her drapery then just to distract her, quite honestly.



(Note: That is not the famous roll of felt. The Roll of Felt can actually be seen here on his belt.
No, over there by his sword sheath. No, over there. Yeah. That little tiny bit.)


Purple Arwen, meanwhile, was concerned for her own Aragorn: "Queenly brunette in purple? Why, I have no idea why he might find her attractive," she snipped. "HUSSY."

Indeed, there was a general consensus among the women and Edward that Serafina should "put it away," but Serafina didn't care: "If I were more fully clothed, I could not feel the soft glow of the overhead light, or the hum of the hard drive, or the brisk chill of the air conditioner."

"Yeah, well--you watch out for Arwen. Don't piss her off anywhere near large bodies of water. And be careful around the blonde one, she's a hair-puller."

So Serafina was a bit mystified when Eowyn marched up to the file cabinet the next day, shoving a bewildered Faramir One before her with the air of both a child determined to rip off a Band-Aid and a woman laying her firstborn on the sacrificial altar. "This is Faramir," she announced.




"I am... pleased to be informed of this."

They all stared at each other for a moment.

"Faramir, son of Denethor," he added nervously. "Ranger of the forests of Ithilien. Probably prince as well already, I'll have to check with Aragorn--"

Eowyn smacked him in the shoulder.

Serafina regarded them curiously, but with calm. "I am Serafina Pekkala. Queen of the Witches of Lake Enara. As I'm sure you have heard." She bowed her head.

Faramir gave her a few bobbly nods.

"Is that it, then? Is everyone thoroughly introduced?"

Faramir and Serafina looked at each other, and then they looked at her, and then they looked back at each other. Serafina reached down to shake Faramir's hand. Faramir shook it and bobbled some more. They looked back at Eowyn.

"Thanks for your time!" she cried, and hustled Faramir off as ignominiously as they had come. "He's safe!" she gasped, running to me. "She saw him and nothing happened!"

Ohhhh. "E, honey, it's not like imprinting at first sight. She's not, like, a duck or a werewolf or something. Witches take lots of different lovers, I'm sure. She could change her mind at any time."

Eowyn looked like I'd just told her there was no Santa Claus. Or whatever they have in Rohan. Santa Eorl, I don't know.

"Look, I'm sure it'll work out all right," I told her, without the least bit of actual confidence. It finally just got to the point where I went to Serafina myself: "Look, I know this is just something witches do, so no hard feelings, but--if you're going to do this, just kill the suspense and do it. It's going to end badly no matter what happens, so we might as well get on with it." I paused. "But I'm warning you--you make a move on Fug and I'll kick your ass myself."

She laughed. "Fair enough. I've decided anyway. I want him," she said, and pointed across the room to Faramir.


(To be continued, of course.)


(More from the Secret Life of Dolls; fan community)


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Date: 2009-03-28 01:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glenvorian.livejournal.com
*searches for my jaw*

I dropped it somewhere...

Date: 2009-03-28 04:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aka-paloma.livejournal.com
Here, I'll help you find yours if you'll help me find mine.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] glenvorian.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-03-28 07:31 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-03-28 01:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gwynnywonk.livejournal.com
Please baby jesus let her be pointing to Faramir 2.

Date: 2009-03-28 01:58 am (UTC)
ext_50: Amrita Rao (animanga: ouran)
From: [identity profile] plazmah.livejournal.com
My thoughts exactly. :O

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Date: 2009-03-28 01:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeroxgirl1201.livejournal.com
OMG! *dies laughing* Oh, I'm sorry Eowyn, but really.

Will there be a catfight? Please tell me there will be a catfight.

Date: 2009-03-28 01:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redcoast.livejournal.com
And the hair-pulling begins?

Date: 2009-03-28 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberkb.livejournal.com
Bwah-hah! This is the best!

Date: 2009-03-28 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] goonie-freak.livejournal.com
Faramir2?!?!?! PLEASE GOD DON'T LET IT BE FARAMIR1!!!

If it is I hate her!!!!

Date: 2009-03-28 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deadwoodmt.livejournal.com
She's pointing to Faramir 2, isn't she. Can I lol now?

Date: 2009-03-28 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marbles-chan.livejournal.com
Ohhh snap. Best thing to wake up to ever. Best thing to calm someone's nerves before her graduation ceremony, too! Except now I know what I'll be speculating about during the actual ceremony, ffff.

Date: 2009-03-28 02:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
Aw! Have fun graduating!

Date: 2009-03-28 02:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wenelda.livejournal.com
YES BUT WHICH ONE?!

Gah, and here I am going away for a few days.

Date: 2009-03-28 02:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolfsilveroak.livejournal.com
Ahhh, but which Faramir...

Date: 2009-03-28 02:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] michawhiplash.livejournal.com
This one needs an ominous-radio-organ-chord-of-soap-opera-suspense at the end. DA-DUHH!

So much SLoD (and general Cleolinda genius) love!

Date: 2009-03-31 10:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 7tree-hugger.livejournal.com
Dum. Dum. Dum. duda-duda... (Bringing the Eastenders drum ending for great justice)

Date: 2009-03-28 02:06 am (UTC)
kokopellinelli: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kokopellinelli
I gasped.

Out loud.

Date: 2009-03-28 05:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrs-bruin.livejournal.com
Me too. Except it came out as a squeak, and in my head there was shouting, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Date: 2009-03-28 02:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emmaorgana.livejournal.com
Santa Eorl, I don't know

*can't stop giggling*

Eowyn... you are in SOOO MUCH TROUBLE.

(Of course, I'm assuming Serafina pointed to Faramir 1? Or am I incorrect? Or is that the "To Be Continued" Part?)

Date: 2009-03-28 02:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reticent-lass.livejournal.com
Maybe 'Faramir' is a collective term? Like 'samurai' and 'fish' and 'yaoi'? Hey, I don't judge, you get 'em, girl.

(Just consider how many pretty single women you're surrounded by, too, since I'm pretty sure there's a lotta ladies out there who'd go for the Purple-Gauzed Witch of Fabulosity.)

Date: 2009-03-28 02:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serenenuit.livejournal.com
Oooh, hadn't thought about that. hahahahahaha

(no subject)

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Date: 2009-03-28 02:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tinuviell.livejournal.com
I actually gasped at the last line! I'm torn between hoping desperately it's Faramir 2, and hoping that this will finally snap Eowyn out of it but good. No, that's too risky--please let it be Faramir 2!

Thank goodness she doesn't want Fugagorn, though. They're so cute; I love the photos.

Date: 2009-03-28 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kellyrfineman.livejournal.com
*wonders which Faramir she pointed to*

Date: 2009-03-28 02:14 am (UTC)
ext_6373: A swan and a ballerina from an old children's book about ballet, captioned SWAN! (Default)
From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com
*facepalm*

Date: 2009-03-28 02:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] golden-d.livejournal.com
Muhhhhh, I'm with everyone else who wants her to be pointing to Faramir 2.

Date: 2009-03-28 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sushixpack.livejournal.com
I don't think anyone would put Eowyn through that. PLEASE BE FARAMIR 2, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

I kind of adore Serafina :D

Date: 2009-03-28 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] atonal-irony.livejournal.com
Damn, you really weren't kidding about Fugagorn, were you? How the hell can you mess up a Viggo Mortenson likeness that badly?

Date: 2009-03-28 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hopeandmemory.livejournal.com
i said the same thing after i zoomed into the picture. holy hell. he and white arwen... well. i guess they make a very apt couple.

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Date: 2009-03-28 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rahrahmah.livejournal.com
I may be in the minority, but I hope it's Faramir1! Eowyn can't just sit there and expect him to wait around eternally while she waffles emotionally...am I now too wrapped up in this?

Date: 2009-03-28 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glenvorian.livejournal.com
I'm just as wrapped up in it as you are.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] katharhino.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-03-28 02:42 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-03-28 02:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hopeandmemory.livejournal.com
OJEEZ.

iiiiii am kind of excited to see this play out. i love when eowyn gets her bitchface on.

Date: 2009-03-28 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snapdragon76.livejournal.com
Uh... oh.


Which Faramir though? One or Two? If One, then I wonder if Eowyn will literally turn green or use this as justification to get her mitts on Edward?


Hmmm...

Date: 2009-03-28 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] divadeanna.livejournal.com
BUT WHICH OOOOOOOONE?!?! lol

Date: 2009-03-28 02:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] abbraciacielo.livejournal.com
*gasp*
Oh the suspense which Faramir...

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