AVAST!!

[cleolinda]

Ahoy! Once again it be that time o' year when the Dread Cleolinda an' her crew o' salty dogs steer Good Ship Split Infinitive into port. And with us, we bring a fine haul o' linkspam from the four corners of the seven seas.

(Though with that mad wench Anna Dollerious bemoanin', "I can't believe she's doing this again. She never does Talk Like a Gypsy Princess Who Somehow Lives in a Manor Day" all the way.)

("Are we getting Captain Swann-Turner now?" BLAST YE, WOMAN, I'LL HEAR NO MORE OF THIS!)

Talk like a pirate! In German, Swedish, Chinese and French, to boot (arrrrr, le butin!).

Talk like a pirate some more!

What kind o' pirate be ye?

4. The single word that bests describes me is: Ruthless. I am without ruth in my pursuit of booty

Free Pirate Fic!; Shiver Me Whiskers!; Arrrr, avast all ye Facebook Pirates!; 5 Little-Known Pirate Stories (and a Quiz).

ETA: (From odontomachus: Be a Pirate Troper! WARNING: 'Tis a site harder to escape from than Davy Jones' locker. HERE THERE BE TIMESUCK.)

Linkspam proper!

Bitch Magazine is Saved. HUZZAH!

Did Aliens Cause The U.S. Financial Meltdown? And now ye know why the Cap'n patronizes the Bank of a Stripey Sock Under Her Bunk.

Anxiety-detecting machines could spot terrorists. Aye, or any poor bastard afraid to fly.

Blaine Risks Blindness With New Stunt. Yer deadlights be more important than yer famewhorin', says I. But does anyone ever bend an ear when the good Cap'n holds forth? No; and that's how Deadeye Peg ended up where she be today.

Chocoholics sour on new Hershey’s formula. "Hershey’s has switched to less expensive ingredients in several of its products. In particularrrr, cocoa butter — the ingredient famous for giving chocolate its creamy, melt-in-your-mouth texture — has been replaced with vegetable oil." Because when yer tack already be so cheap, a few more grubs in the biscuit can't hurt.

We can't stop playing this hot-ass Army of Lovers song. Bilge rat, please. The Cap'n vastly prefers "Crucified."

How Did You Handle the Death of Publishing? With a shanty and a fine grog, we did!

What Can 10 Million Internet Users Teach Publishers?

Avast, Neil Gaiman be back in port!

Ashley Olsen Fires Mary-Kate (Maybe). Arrrr, snap.

MTV prepares to put 'TRL' out of its misery. Aye, it be time to keelhaul such a dusty relic--The Hills only be on 22 hours a day.

Emmys' evolution: Tweaks could add excitement; Will 'Mad Men' make Emmy history?; Outfits to watch for at the Emmys; The Quick 10: 10 Fun Facts About The Emmys.

What If 'Moonlighting' Took Place In A Warehouse Full Of Aliens? ['Warehouse 13']

The 20 Best Worst Science Fiction Movies Of All Time.

Via Fandom Lounge: The Rocky Horror Picture Show in LOLCats.

SAG Insurrection Introduces Brave New Levels of Seething Internecine Hatred. ARRRRR, IT BE A MUTINY!

Entertainment Weekly apparently hates Anne Hathaway. Begad, woman, stow yer mimsy!

High School Musical Actor Arrested: "Workers who were at the store say even though the two robbers wore bandannas over their faces, they recognized Whitlock because he used to work there." Ye bring shame upon the name o' buccaneer, son.

Images: Two Awesome Posters for Frank Miller's 'The Spirit.'

Trailerrrrrs and clips: 'Whaledreamers' Trailer, For Everyone Who Dreams About Whales (...what? They be a good source o' blubber!); 'Exit Speed' is SO Intense!

TLC talks to David Heyman on HBP move, "Deathly Hallows" Scripts and More; David Thewlis: Strict Security on "Harry Potter" Set ("You finish a scene and the crew treat your wand like it was a diamond and take it straight off you. Filming hasn't even finished and there is already a big fight for the props"); Emma Watson in Harrrrper's Bazaarrrrrrr. Whether that be a tree or a bird on the wench's head, the Cap'n cannot say.

Watchmen: Alan Moore has no hoorays for Hollywood. Or, the interview ye be obliged to post every time the bosun spies a new Alan Moore movie on the horizon.

Jude Law is Guy Ritchie's Dr. Watson in Sherlock Holmes? The Dread Sherlock Holmes Fan Cleolinda... is not sure how she feels about this.

Daniel Craig Interview in Playboy's November 2008 Issue. Which ye'll be sure not to miss, since ye read it already for the arrrrticles.

'Iron Man' on DVD: First Look.

The Darrrrk Knight: 'Heath Ledger Exploiter' Among America's Hottest New Halloween Costumes; 'Dark Knight' Blu-ray Details Emerge.

Starrrr Trek: We Don't Need To See Captain Kirk's Childhood Trauma!; Shatner Responds to J.J. Abrams and Plots Kirk's Resurrection.

Are Pop-Punks Paramore A Good Fit For ‘Twilight’? ARRRRRR! 'Tis true, I swear on me peg, that I listened to naught but Parrrrrramore whilst I read Breaking Dawn and Midnight Sun. 'Tis... a bit uncanny, actually.

Charlie Kaufman Builds An Infinite Space-Time Trap ['Synecdoche, New York'].

Go Behind The Scenes Of 'City Of Emberrrr.'

'Coraline' Film Breaks With Book.

Rope of Silicon review: The Duchess; AV Club review: 'The Duchess'; Bow before superior costumes, acting in 'The Duchess'; Cinematical Seven: Keira Knightley's Costume Pics. A fine lass, that one.

'Lakeview Terrace' stops short of thrills, commentary; AV Club review: 'Lakeview Terrace.'

Gervais leads spirited 'Ghost'; Review: ‘Ghost Town’ scares up few laughs.

More reviews: 'Hounddog'; 'Appaloosa.'

Exclusive: Stuarrrrt Townsend's 'Battle in Seattle' ("ComingSoon.net sat down with Stuart Townsend to talk about how an actor from Ireland ended up directing one of the more impressive civil rights-related non-doc films of the year, 'Battle in Seattle.' " Aye, 'tis one of the more impressive reality-based city-related non-musical un-animated movies filmed on Tuesdays ye'll see or not see this year, me salts!)

Rachel McAdams Makes Out With A Time-Traveling Hottie ['The Time Traveler's Wife'].

David Duchovny, Demi Moore and Amber Heard Are Keeping Up with 'The Joneses.' Who be no relation to the Dread Cleolinda Joneses, by the way.

Wilson and Ribisi are 'Middle Men.'

Vaughn and Favreau Go on 'Couples Retreat.'

James Franco Would Love To Work With Zac Efron.

Chow to Direct and Costarrrr in Seth Rogen's 'Green Hornet.'

Anna Faris Drops Out Of Linda Lovelace Drama.

The Voice Cast for 'Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.'

‘Alright, Alright, Alright!:’ Matthew McConaughey Teaches Us The Zen Of Surfing.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains! We've a few fabulous stains below deck as well, let me tell ye.

Plots For Direct-To-DVD Sequels To ‘Grease,’ ‘Bad News Bears,’ ‘Naked Gun,’ More Revealed. ARRRRRR KEELHAUL THE LOT!

And now that we stand safely ashore, it be time to seek out some grub. And also, me crew needs to go for walkies. Fair winds, me hearties!

Comments

[odontomachus.livejournal.com]

Be a Pirate Troper! (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePage)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

YOU CAN'T TRICK ME INTO FALLING INTO THAT SITE AGAIN! IT TOOK ME SIX HOURS TO GET OUT LAST TIME!

(Hee.)

[illian.livejournal.com]

Only six? The power go out suddenly? ;)

[sweetsyren.livejournal.com]

NO NO NO NO NO! Gervais is not edgy or witty!

He's annoying and lame and an embarrassing mistake in our comedic history. Collectively as a country we went, "Hah! Look at him! My boss is totally like that!" Then we saw him do the same thing in a different venue and went, "Huh..." Then he did it again at at yet another different venue and we all hid behind our hands and cringed.

Americans! Please! Stop giving him work! We're sorry for making you think he was funny in the first place.

Please accept our apologies and take Bill Bailey (http://www.billbailey.co.uk/) as a peace offering. We promise he's actually funny!

*re-reads* well that turned into a bit of a rant didn't it? I stand by it though.

(Editted for ranty grammar - sorry!)

[modpixie.livejournal.com]

which is more happy-making: the negative reviews for lakeview terrace or the official availability of ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous stains? I CAN'T DECIDE!

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Chocoholics sour on new Hershey’s formula.

THEY BE MESSIN' W' ME CHOCOLATE! T'SCURVY HOUNDS 'LL SOON NEED WOODEN LEGS O' THEIR OWN.

We've a few fabulous stains below deck as well, let me tell ye.
Tis more'n a yeoman cares t'know!

[dreamingreader.livejournal.com]

The one song that always makes me think of Twilight is #1 Crush by Garbage:


I would die for you
I would die for you
I've been dying just to feel you by my side
To know that you're mine

Rest o' lyrics here (http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/garbage/1crush.html)

[sweetsyren.livejournal.com]

*huge sigh* I'd just gotten over my addiction to Garbage as well...

*starts singing along to Right Between The Eyes*

[moogleybacon.livejournal.com]

"We had to go and make it in Canada and outsource a couple of days in Seattle. (laughs) How ironic is that?"

Oh, silly Townsend, don't you realize? Now all Seattlers are going to pay attention to is whether they can spot what's real and fake. That's all we cared about in Frasier. And something tells me it's more because Canada is cheaper than it is that Hollywood wouldn't touch it.

Twilight's gonna have that problem, too. 'Cause we'll know it's Oregon. We'll know.

[greyduck.livejournal.com]

This probably shouldn't have made me laugh for five minutes straight.

...

It did, but it probably shouldn't have. Maybe I'm just that tired/loopy this afternoon.

(is from Oregon)

[dives.livejournal.com]

The air in Oregon is more magical, and the quality always comes across on-screen. This is why they filmed there. All Twilighters hoping to make pilgrimages to Forks will be disappointed... IT IS TRUTH.



It always bothered me that Frasier had a view of the Space Needle, like, RIGHT IN FRONT OF his apartment...nowhere in Seattle has that kind of view of the Space Needle! where the hell does he live?!

[manekikoneko.livejournal.com]

I had two out of three teachers point out to us that it was Talk Like A Pirate Day. It made sense with the linguistics teacher. I guess it kind of made sense with the oceanography teacher. I would have be confused if my animal behavior teacher had brought it up, but that class was yesterday (the teacher who didn't notice or didn't care was from China).

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

Oh my gawd that song is Twilight in a nutshell.

I can't believe I never realized that before. Freaky.

[sarahbrand.livejournal.com]

I think you'll like this song (http://filkertom-itom.blogspot.com/2008/09/new-song-zombie-pirates-in-love.html).

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

See, I hear that one and all I can think of is the time they used it on Passions for a full week while Theresa and--oh, God, who was she in love with?--had a dirty dancing contest to it. Yes, for a full week.

I would also like to note that you can totally make the lyrics to "Push It" (http://www.songlyrics.com/song-lyrics/Garbage/Miscellaneous/Push_It/32339.html) work as well, particularly for Midnight Sun.

Re: (is from Oregon)

[moogleybacon.livejournal.com]

Sadly, the air in Oregon is more magical. Especially in Portland. Because Portland pwns Seattle. Yes, it is heretical for me to say so, but it is the truth. I actually feel bad for Twilighters who go to Forks... that place is creepy as hell. There's NO ONE around. Seriously. No one. It's scary.


And clearly, Frasier lives in MAGICLAND, along with close neighbor Grey's Anatomy. Frasier is often spotted going over to Grey's for a cup of sugar. Because both believe things are where they are not!

[chocotaku.livejournal.com]

I made sure to cross my index and middle finger to every deaf person I saw today. XD

My icon says it all...

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

Before I clicked the link, I thought you meant "Push It" by Salt-n-Pepa.

Can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard like I wish you would?
Now push it.

I think that could definitely describe Bella.

[wumbawoman.livejournal.com]

Avast ye cap'n I was wondering when we were set to make port!

I'm off to bury me pieces 'o eight and raise the black tar.

Now show me those linkspams yo ho yo ho!


really bad eggs

[girlthethird.livejournal.com]

HA! I did exactly the same thing!

[discogravy.livejournal.com]

while we be jibbering about the good mister gaiman as well as mentioning sherlock holmes, have you heard the free audiobook/story linked from gaiman's site? ("a study in emerald"). he worked cthulhu mythos and holmes into one story. if you haven't, jesus why are you still reading this? go! click!

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

*GIP*


4. The single word that bests describes me is: Ruthless. I am without ruth in my pursuit of booty

*pursues your booty*

Re: (is from Oregon)

[celticwitch99.livejournal.com]

I went to visit a friend in Portland, and I loved it. The atmosphere was made of awesome. We drove up to Seattle, and I was all, "Meh, another city." It didn't really do much for me.

Forks is an itty-bitty, teeny-tiny town, but I liked hiking through the rain forest in the morning (living in arid Colorado and being from the east coast, I miss green!) and spending the afternoon wandering around the beach. But Forks itself?

You blink, you miss.

I want to go back to Oregon again, though, and spend some more time.

[sarapada.livejournal.com]

Bilge rat, please.
Arrrr, snap.

I just laughed my ass off. You make the Internet a better place.

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

Methinks the bauble in Emma Watson's hair be a peacock. Me also thinks such a bauble would look nice in me hold be impractical. How does she be walkin' through doors? Not to mention, getting caught in the riggin'. 'Tis not as scary as the photoshopped floatin' pic. She be needin' better green screen.

Dread Cleolinda, did ye be havin' the knowledge o' how the piratey dialect started? 'Tis said the good actor who first played Long John Silver on a movin' picture screen (o' the talkin sort) created it and it be copied since.