There's a new Edward Cat in town

[cleolinda]

We here at Casa de Cleo are all cranky just now, because my mother had a really terrible day working-at-home on Friday that involved a lot of wailing "WHY ARE THEY SO STUPID" into her phone for about four hours straight; my stepfather has split his tooth in half (but has no idea how), and there's a lot of pain and swelling; and Friday the 13th basically shat on my head like an incontinent pigeon, but without any of the "luck" that supposedly brings.

However, no matter what happens to us, we still don't have it as bad as Edward Fashion Cat.

We Were There: Cat Fashion Show at the Algonquin Hotel - Gothamist 
(courtesy of @atherness on Twitter)

My first reaction to this was to scream and close the browser (this is my reaction to about 65% of links people send me). Then I opened it again (this is my reaction to about 83% of that 65%) and laughed my ass off. I want to feel sorry for this cat, but--look at him work that shit! Please.

However, the longer I laughed looked at it, the more questions I had. How does one measure a cat for a tiny jacket, and how many people die in the process? How does one keep a (rather amazing) wig on its head? Where does one buy wigs for cats?

Over the next 24 hours, I was able to answer at least two of these questions:

1) This. This is where you buy wigs for cats.

via dontfloataway on Tumblr

2) I ended up seeing--oh, who sent it to me?--a different set of pictures...

 

   

Fur-ocious Pics From The Cat Fashion Show - NY Fashion News at Refinery29.com
Okay, now I feel sorry.

...in which I saw, for the first time, that Edward Fashion Cat is also wearing the little Cullen crest bracelet. At which point I believe I cried "Oh my God, no!" at the computer and went off into a fresh paroxysm of laughter. And then I stopped cold, because I finally realized how you fit a cat for a tiny, terrifyingly accurate jacket: you don't. You steal the outfit off a Tonner Edward doll. You know, like the one  I have SOMEONE GAVE ME, OKAY in The Secret Life of Dolls.

And then I was all like, "brb, dying of shame that I own a doll with the same outfit they're torturing this cat with," when I stopped cold (again) to wonder: we know where you get cat wigs. Also, I just used the phrase "cat wigs" like there's nothing infinitely wrong with the very concept of cat wigs. But we don't know where they got this cat's (somewhat astonishing) cat wig.

DOES THIS MEAN THEY SCALPED A TONNER EDWARD?


These are the questions that haunt my dreams.


ETA: omg send help, laughing too hard

NO SLEEP TONIGHT

I've already done my duty helping cats named Edward Cullen get rescued. Someone else is gonna have to pick up this one.


Speaking of Tonners and Twilight, Alice Dollen starts shipping on Monday (8/16). Alice Dollen is not shipping to me on 8/16, but maybe I can get her for Christmas. My point is, Tonner Alices are now at large in the world, or will be next week.

@Ceilidhann: @cleolinda Does the Tonner Alice try and dress you up instead of the other way round?

There's only one way to find out.

Comments

[flamingtoilet.livejournal.com]

THIS IS THE WRINKLY SKIN OF A KILLER

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I like how the pictures progress from "Possibly working it," to "Getting chagrined," to "DEATH."

[dreamsofthings.livejournal.com]

i'm just grateful we weren't force to ask where they got the cat!body-glitter from.

[friggeng.livejournal.com]

http://gothamist.com/attachments/arts_jen/5morecatshow.jpg

I think he's begging the camera person to save him.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

omg dying

I hadn't seen that one. THAT POOR CAT.

[bienegold.livejournal.com]

He looks so chagrined.


(Who's a little sad they didn't go for the gold and bust out the body glitter? Some of it's gotta be food safe, right?)

[morganwolf.livejournal.com]

I actually have large quantities of edible glitter. Please don't give me ideas.

[deadwoodmt.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you got a kick out of the Edward Cat. I was surprised nobody else had sent it to you yet since you seem to be a magnet for "Look at how cracked out and also Twilight related this is!" links.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I know, right? This is the first Twilight link that hasn't made me want to die in at least a month or two, I think.

[aquidis.livejournal.com]

I really hope they didn't put glitter on that cat. That would just be cruel. IIRC, even hairless cats groom themselves. :/

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

His hair senses danger!

[shocolate.livejournal.com]

Oh, that cat is seriously chagrined!

*cannot stop laughing*

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Okay, that last picture, over the woman's shoulder--I only just now saw that for the first time, and I am laughing so hard that I am crying. Oh my God, that poor cat.

[meleth.livejournal.com]

PUSSY WIG

[flamingtoilet.livejournal.com]

MERKIN (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkin)

[summer-breeze01.livejournal.com]

Sorry, dying over here. Can't. Stop. Laughing. That, and deciding whether or not to stop laughing because THAT POOR CAT!


I'm just imagining what Tonner Edward would say if he saw these pictures, haha. And his reaction to scalping an Edward to procure that wig...

[linda-lupos.livejournal.com]

CRANFORD ICON.

...

I just wanted to say that.

[serizawa3000.livejournal.com]

What breed is that? The hairlessness suggests Sphynx but the shape of the head doesn't...?

[malsperanza.livejournal.com]

Domestic Humiliated.

[cat-eyed-fox.livejournal.com]

When I saw the picture my brain refused to admit what I was seeing. Tried to protect me, I think. I thought "someone made a hairless-Edward-Cullen-cat-doll? Why would someone make that?" It took me a while to realize that no, not that was a real cat, and someone had really done that to him. Hairless-Edward-Cullen-Cat will haunt me to my dying day. Thank you?

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

Let us pretend we think it was photoshopped.

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

This is what happened when Dr. Evil let Frau Farbissina take care of Mr. Bigglesworth over the weekend. Of course she's on Team Edward.

[neko-chan.livejournal.com]

Awesome comment! :D And then the poor, sullenly chagrined kitty took his suitably Evil revenge by throwing her in the laser-shark pool.

[beansalad.livejournal.com]

....c-catwigs? Oh god.

No. I give up. The internet wins. I admit defeat. I don't even. What. WHAT?!

Icon.

[castleatmydoor.livejournal.com]

AVENGER! :D

[elbales]

brb, loling forever

[calliopes_pen]

...I saw that linked on Best Week Ever this morning. I can practically hear the cat thinking this:

"I will kill ALL OF YOU! You will never have a moment's rest, while you still live. My vengeance will follow you through the ages, and you will know what it is to torment a cat with your Cullen ways."

[sarahnargle.livejournal.com]

My Mom was all "Tonner dolls are so expensive, how could they afford to scalp an Edward?" And I was all, "Mom, look at the pictures. I don't think expense is the real issue here."

And then I once again sunk to the floor, unable to move because of the laughter, oh god, the laughter.

[ruthisme.livejournal.com]

I just looked at the rest of the cat fashion show and there is no cat in it that looks happy. One or two just seem to be saying "help me, God. help me please." And the rest are saying "I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL FOR THIS INDIGINTY! VENGANCE IS A DISH OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD WITH A HAIRBALL IN IT!!!!!!!!" I now believe that is the only reason that Mr Tinkies (cats and dogs) tried to take over the world is because the maid kept dressing him up in stupid outfits.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

The really sad thing is that a number of them look medicated.

[hollyxu.livejournal.com]

At least he isn't wearing body glitter? D:

[la-petite-singe.livejournal.com]

You mean like this?



Seriously, I'm not sure your "why you do this?" icon has ever been more appropriate. Poor kitties. DDD:

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, MAN, I so should have used that icon on the entry. But I kind of like using the Alice icon so you can also see the jacket and grasp the full horror of what they've done. Decisions...

[litlover12.livejournal.com]

Ceilidhann has a point. If I had an Alice doll in my room, I'd be terrified to go to sleep lest I wake up in a cocktail dress and stilettos.

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

Which is even scarier if you're a guy.

[viorica8957.livejournal.com]

Man, I don't even want to think about what would happen if I tried to get a costume on one of my cats. It would involve a good deal of scratching, s'all I'm saying.

Also: tangentially related, but I was in my university's bookstore getting my books for this coming semester, and TWILIGHT WAS THERE. As a TEXTBOOK. It's on the syllabus for one of the first-year English courses. I came very close to shouting "WHAT THE FUCK" in the middle of the store.

[elbales]

Why didn't you?! Seriously.

[jabberwockpie.livejournal.com]

On a related note - to dolls, not to dressing up cats because WHY, just WHY - a friend of mine found himself an Alice Barbie at K-Mart, so they are starting to show up for those who are intersted. (He says that she is very cute and SQUEEable.) I forgot to ask if Victoria was there.

[celestinenox]

OH MY GODS THE POOR THING I AM DYING OVER HERE.

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

Great, now I'm convinced Edward Fashion Cat has a special rocking chair in the corner of the bedroom from whence he can stalk protect his owner all night long. And when he wants to go outside he has to go through the window.

[profbutters.livejournal.com]

Well, cats, unlike vampires, *belong* in rocking chairs.