Freaky... uh. Thursday.

[cleolinda]

I've been holding on to some wtfery in the linkspam department for a while, and I feel like it's time to dump it all on you. I'll start you off easy.

Shrek 4 banner: "Where my witches at?" 

Jennifer Love Hewitt wrote a book, and that book contains the actual sentence, "Guys hate to spoon -- they prefer to fork, lol!"

Nicholas (The Notebook) Sparks writes Greek tragedies in the footsteps of Sophocles, or something. Also, when asked, Miley Cyrus says that The Catcher in the Rye is her favorite coming-of-age story (whether you believe she's actually read it), and Sparks says that his is... A Walk to Remember. Which he wrote.

Freakishly Lifelike Jack Sparrow figure is FREAKISHLY LIFELIKE.

An update from yesterday: the Robert Pattinson wax museum figure has been up for like ten minutes and already it's being mobbed. This is a thing, y'all. This is a thing that is happening. 

Seattle man who said he was a vampire and had bomb arrested. "He said he was a vampire and wanted to eat people. Staff asked him to leave, and the man then said he was a space cowboy and showed what looked to be a pipe bomb attached to his wrist." Police were able to subdue the man before he was able to declare himself the Pompatus of Love.

(And it wasn't even a REAL pipe bomb! You are not very good at vampiring, sir.)

Also from the Pacific Northwest: Police detain sword-waving, knife-throwing hunter.

A scraped-up, shirtless man armed with a sword and several throwing knives was detained by police today.

The man had been seen waving the sword near the ProBuild hardware store off High School Road just before 1:45 p.m. Witnesses said he had also been visiting the nearby Ace hardware store.

The man told police he was hunting werewolves and “chuds.”

I wouldn't tell him about Maurice over there with the pipe bomb if I were you.

Comments

[alliancesjr.livejournal.com]

What a joker.

[bittercupojoe.livejournal.com]

Re: the vampire and hunter, in the immortal words of Dr. Venkman, "Oh, we HAVE to get these two together."

[eyemage.livejournal.com]

ive been waiting for someone to make the connection between those two local crazies out here in crazy mc-crazington.

wonder how long it will take for someone to pitch that to hollywood.

[cupcake-goth.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we grow Teh Crazy particularly strong here in the PNW.

The sculptor for the Jack Sparrow figure said that Disney and Johnny Depp approved the figure during the first round with NO CHANGES. I was very, very impressed. (And happy for the sculptor!)

[alliancesjr.livejournal.com]

Bite your head off, man.

[r-a-black.livejournal.com]

You know I loved Shrek 3, but the advertisement for Shrek 4 always makes me feel depressed and embarrassed.

And Jennifer Love Hewitt... I don't even- I don't know what to say to that.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Wow, that is impressive. I can't get over how the figure's expression changes from each angle.

[isca.livejournal.com]

Memo to Shrek 4: You're trying too hard.

[skybreak-seeker.livejournal.com]

You know, it occurs to me that we've never had a completely successful test of this equipment.

[snacky]

I read that Nicholas Sparks and Miley Cyrus thing the other day, and ever since then, my hate for the two of them has been burning like a thousand fiery suns.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I saw the werewolf guy and immediately thought, WHAT IS IN THE WATER OVER THERE?

[emerald-skies.livejournal.com]

"Guys hate to spoon -- they prefer to fork, lol!"

I know it's pretty silly to expect quality literature from Jennifer Love Hewitt, but I'm pretty sure that line still killed a small part of my soul just now.

re: pipe bomb guy

Is he also a gangster of love? O_o

[alliancesjr.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole in your head.

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

Wow. Prior to this I only hated Nicholas Sparks for his fiction. Now I can hate him for his ego, too! Any day when I find something new to hate is a good day.

[jennnk.livejournal.com]

RE: PNW arrests

All I have to say is meth is one hell of a drug.

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

It's a hell of a Thursday, innit?

Also, Scott Pilgrim (http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/universal/scottpilgrimvstheworld/) trailer out, if you're into that sorta thing. It'll either be Cera's Iron Man or cement him forever as That Guy.

[dark-puck.livejournal.com]

In the immortal words of Dr. Spengler, "I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous."

[tailoredshirt.livejournal.com]

1. Jane Austen wrote Greek tragedies?

2. Nicholas Sparks is calling Cormac McCarthy melodramatic?

3. Nicholas Sparks is a giant tool.

[marlinkhylacat]

Prior to this I only hated Nicholas Sparks for his fiction. Now I can hate him for his ego, too!

Second this! :D (Also diggin' the icon.)

Can I insert "BAD" between "his" and "fiction"?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Such a Thursday THAT I THOUGHT IT WAS FRIDAY. Jesus.

[lost-garnet.livejournal.com]

I didn't realize it was wax, somehow...and I wondered how in the hell Pattinson was just so calm and smirk-y and dead-stare-out-front when there are girls manhandling him. D:

[majormeg7.livejournal.com]

That Jack Sparrow figure even has pores. That is a scary level of attention to detail. Well done, sculptor guy.

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

S'okay. Some Fridays do not obey the convention of space and time and reach around the corner to throttle us with chuds and wanna-be pipe-bomb vampires.

[elvensapphire.livejournal.com]

I'm too disturbed by 90% of this to form words (wax.figures. JLoveHewitt giving...advice...), but why on earth does Rumpelstiltskin have red troll hair (http://farm1.static.flickr.com/185/417899046_c392c63ca9.jpg?v=0)?!

[elvensapphire.livejournal.com]

3. <-- This.