cleolinda: (why you do this)
[personal profile] cleolinda
A bit of movie news for you all:

From Roger Ebert: Eric Rohmer, 89, wise humanist, RIP. One of the founders of the French New Wave.

Spider Man 4 Scrapped; Tobey Maguire & Sam Raimi & Cast Out; Franchise Reboot Planned; Sony Rebooting Spider-Man in 2012! So... by "reboot," do you mean do the origin story and kill Uncle Ben off all over again? Because I'm sure audiences will sit through that all over again less than ten years later, and--when did the last one come out? Like, five minutes ago?

That said, the scramble in Young Hollywood to grab the newly-vacated roles will be something to see.

(Malkovich confirms Vulture role in Spider-Man 4. Yeah... about that...)

James McAvoy Shoots Down 'The Hobbit' And Ian Fleming Biopic Rumors. 

Stuart Townsend Ditches 'Thor' Over "Creative Differences."

@cleolinda: RT @hollywoodcrush: 'Twilight' Author Stephenie Meyer Reportedly Against Splitting 'Breaking Dawn' Into Two Films

@cleolinda: @Cleolinda Reportedly Against Any 'Breaking Dawn' Film Being Unleashed Upon A Defenseless World
I thought it was Stephenie Meyer's insistence in the first place that Breaking Dawn had to be two movies just like Deathly Hallows omg, so I don't know what's going on here. All I have to say is--you keep on fighting that good fight if it keeps this movie from happening. Seriously. I don't think my embarrassment quick can take it.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn could start shooting this fall, with a Renesmee who may end up "being a full CG creation, but it also may be a human shot on a soundstage that then is used to shrink down." I just--I can't even articulate how I feel about this, except it involves a lot of "Uncanny Valley, oh God" and "Somehow, James Cameron is responsible for this and must pay for his crimes" and "do not want do not want DO NOT WANT."

Rumors of Taylor Lautner's demise somewhat incorrect. Not that I'd blame him for trying to fake his own death at this point.

(Someone asked me if it was true. Without even having to do any fact-checking, I replied that it couldn't be, because Twitter and ONTD would be on fire.)

Via [livejournal.com profile] maudelynn: Woman Married To Fat, Emotionally Distant Vampire Escapes Into 'Twilight' Novels. The second photo caption is where I fell over.

Meanwhile, any time I feel cranky (LIKE RIGHT NOW), I go back and look at Twilight retold in lolcats. I know it's old (even the sequel is a bit old by now), but the "I AM HATES U (fer some reason)" pic and the reaction shot right after "I luvs u" kill me. What kind of cat is that, anyway? ETA: Pallas cat! So much want.


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Date: 2010-01-11 11:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] an-lagat-glas.livejournal.com
I sort of want them to make Breaking Dawn. It will be a deliciously horrifying trainwreck. OH SMEYERS, LOOK UPON WHAT THOU HAST WROUGHT!

Date: 2010-01-11 11:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xturtle.livejournal.com
is it a Pallas cat? they're a housecat-sizes wildcat, and they're OMGCUTE.

Date: 2010-01-11 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
I do believe it is!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pallas_cat

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Date: 2010-01-11 11:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elizardbits.livejournal.com
OH GOD THE HORROR. I misread your first link and thought that Roger Ebert was dead and had a moment of epic flail. His column a few weeks back about not being able to eat anymore was sad enough.

I am almost literally PRAYING that they somehow inexplicably decide that Uwe Boll should be the director of Breaking Dawn.

Date: 2010-01-11 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trillianastra.livejournal.com
OMG

That would be so awesome, it might be enough to make me watch it.

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Date: 2010-01-11 11:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trillianastra.livejournal.com
Errrrr....

so, this Breaking Dawn movie... they're not going to actually film the birth part, right? With the... biting, and the spine-breaking and everything? Because... well, this movie might have to be X rated, if they do. And that would pretty efficiently eliminate most of their target audience.

(Hmm)

Date: 2010-01-11 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com
I want to see it staged just like they did with John Hurt.

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From: [identity profile] skellington7d.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-01-12 04:56 am (UTC) - Expand

"You are a beautiful butterfly."

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Date: 2010-01-11 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ook.livejournal.com
That odd-looking cat you asked about looks like a cross-breeding between an Egyptian Mau (the only "spotted" domestic cat) and a long-haired grey tabby.

Image
Egyptian Mau

Date: 2010-01-11 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] isca.livejournal.com
Ocicats are spotted too, as well as Bengals.

Ocicats are also deranged. *peels hers off the fridge*

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Date: 2010-01-11 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ppyajunebug.livejournal.com
I can't tell what would be more horrifying- Renesmee played by a real kid or a CGI Renesmee.

I'm also torn between longing for the lulz that the Breaking Dawn film(s) would bring upon the world, and fearing the traumatizing consequences of the birth scene.

Date: 2010-01-12 12:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scarolinagrl.livejournal.com
*icon love*

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Date: 2010-01-11 11:50 pm (UTC)
ext_50: Amrita Rao (animanga: ouran)
From: [identity profile] plazmah.livejournal.com
A CGI, uncanny valley Renesmee would be so terrifying... I kinda want it to happen.

Date: 2010-01-11 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intrikate88.livejournal.com
No, no. I really want a Breaking Dawn film. I don't want to see it; god please god no. But there is absolutely no fucking way to disguise the horror in film; in the books MAYBE if you are delusional and fourteen you can pass it off as romantic but Breaking Dawn: The Spinesplosion or the epic romance of I'm Gonna Fuck This One Day cannot be disguised by any amount of editing. It's perfect. An entire fandom will die in one day, and where else will you ever see that happen?

Date: 2010-01-12 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girlthethird.livejournal.com
the epic romance of I'm Gonna Fuck This One Day

Tea, meet monitor.

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Date: 2010-01-11 11:53 pm (UTC)
the_rainbow_jen: (tbbt - rock paper scissors lizard spock)
From: [personal profile] the_rainbow_jen
Dude, how does Stuart Townsend even make movies anymore? He left LOTR back in the day over 'creative differences' and one other movie since then, can't remember which, but I really wish Hollywood was as over him as I am. Yeesh.

/rant

Date: 2010-01-12 08:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amygirl.livejournal.com
Two words...

Charlize Theron.

Date: 2010-01-11 11:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] robinmc.livejournal.com
Every time I hear about the Breaking Dawn movie, I go into an almost painful giggle fit. I just can't even imagine how it could possibly ever work on any level. I feel like it will traumatize the entire world and/or melt everyone's faces off like at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. I just wish they would stop, but I know they won't, and it makes me so uncomfortable.

Date: 2010-01-11 11:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cupcakery.livejournal.com
Okay, we need to begin a campaign to get David Cronenberg or Quentin Tarantino to direct the Breaking Dawn movie. Seriously.

Date: 2010-01-12 12:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com
I would so pay for a Tarantino-directed Breaking Dawn. There would be gleeful popcorn munching like in every single gif that ONTD breaks out when something hilarious happens.

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Date: 2010-01-11 11:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] a-proclivity.livejournal.com
Funny how ontd is like... the one entertainment site that counts now.

When I hear rumors I do the same thing: first stop ontd.

Date: 2010-01-12 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
That, and Twitter. Pretty much every major death of the last six or eight months, I've heard about first on Twitter, for example.

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Date: 2010-01-12 12:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xerinmichellex.livejournal.com
Why are they insisting Breaking Dawn should be split into two movies? Nothing happens in the first act except Bella's pleas to be sexed. That's one scene. Most of Jacob's POV can be cut, and then the EPIC battle is over before it even starts. They expect four hours out of that?

Date: 2010-01-12 12:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
I know, right? I could get the wedding over by the end of the opening credits. This isn't like Harry Potter, where there's so much plot-rich detail that you can't stuff it all in. This is one pound of plot in a ten-pound bag.

Hmm....

Date: 2010-01-12 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] credibilis-min.livejournal.com
Is that vampire story a hoax? At first I thought, 'oh haha, that's a funny FAKE story', but actually, when you think about the world today... somehow it doesn't seem so far fetched. Nothing is impossible. She might really think her husband is an 800 year old vampire. HE might think that. I don't know. It baffles me.

ANYWHO, question being, is that just a joke the writer thought up or is it a "real" story?

Sorry if I sound like an idiot.

Re: Hmm....

Date: 2010-01-12 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
It's from The Onion, which is satire.

Re: Hmm....

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Re: Hmm....

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Date: 2010-01-12 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mamapduck.livejournal.com
I have got to remember to look at URLs before reading. I read the "fat emotionally distant vampire" story and was halfway through it going "WTF? What nutjob wrote this crap like it's real?" before realizing it was The Onion.

Date: 2010-01-12 12:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catherinehaines.livejournal.com
I thought it was Stephenie Meyer's insistence in the first place that Breaking Dawn had to be two movies just like Deathly Hallows omg, so I don't know what's going on here.

Yep, she was the one going around and saying it had to be two because it was so long.

“I really think they’d have to do five movies,” Stephenie Meyers revealed exclusively to MTV News Thursday morning, sitting down with us on the eve of her “Breaking Dawn” release and mini-tour. “Because you can’t do ‘Breaking Dawn’ in one movie, you’d have to split it up.”

http://moviesblog.mtv.com/2008/07/31/breaking-dawn-should-be-2-movies/

I've heard you say that you think Breaking Dawn should be two movies. Why? Also, that it might be impossible to film. What does that mean?

If Breaking Dawn were ever made into a movie, it's hard to imagine it fitting into ninety minutes. The book is just so long! I can't imagine how to distill it—if I could, the book would be shorter. But maybe a screenwriter can see a way to do it and still cover the crucial plot points.


http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/bd_faq.html


These quotes were proudly brought to you via Google-fu. XD

Date: 2010-01-12 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yukishiido.livejournal.com
One of her interviewers should show her that... er... interview? -vocabulary fail-

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From: [identity profile] ohsnapcat.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-01-12 01:00 am (UTC) - Expand

hmm...

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Date: 2010-01-12 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mamapduck.livejournal.com
Also, in other silly games that may amuse you...

I play SCA. There is a major "war" next month between two kingdoms, the kings of which are named...

Edward and Bela.

Yes, pronounced "Bella."

This weekend Edward showed up and extolled us all to join Team Edward because "Bela is Edward's bitch."

I am NOT buying a Sparklecock to put in his giftbasket, but only because they're expensive. Body glitter and bumperstickers, etc. will have to suffice.

Date: 2010-01-12 12:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] munin-and-hugin.livejournal.com
Except Bela Lugosi could kick Edwards ass! *is miffed*

Date: 2010-01-12 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] munin-and-hugin.livejournal.com
I immediately texted "@Cleolinda Reportedly Against Any 'Breaking Dawn' Film Being Unleashed Upon A Defenseless World" to a friend after getting over the giggles from reading it. She asked why. I told her that accelerated growth vampire mutant baby birth scene with a c-section by vampire teeth was NOT ON. Then I realized that the side of me that loves horror fests, zombies, and gore would probably love that bit... So now I'm utterly conflicted.

I still wouldn't inflict it upon the unsuspecting masses who have not read the books or spoilers.

Date: 2010-01-12 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rinoamint.livejournal.com
BUT WILL UWE BOLL DIRECT BREAKING DAWN

Date: 2010-01-12 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kittycatness.livejournal.com
Tlaut's death only somewhat incorrect? He's only a little dead?

Just thinking about Reneesme/whateveridon'tcaaaare makes the bile rise. Can we just skip that part?
And I don't understand why they wouldn't bring in a child and cg-"grow" or whatever to the point that she's like... what? six? Seven? Or would that be even more creeptastic than it already is?

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Date: 2010-01-12 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chulacabra.livejournal.com
I know I'm twisted but Breaking Dawn is my favorite book of the series because of werewolf snark and the complete jaw-dropping what-the-fuckery of the pregnancy, birth and imprinting. If they make this film, it will be the only Twilight movie I've seen in a theater because I have to see the fangirl headsplosions for myself.

Date: 2010-01-12 12:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
I do kind of love the first half of the third section, where it's about nothing but how fabulous Bella is and how she vampires better than everyone else. If you are going to write a Mary Sue, go hard or go home, I say.

And then the plot shows up and Alice runs away, boo.

I have to see the fangirl headsplosions for myself.

Forget the fangirls--movies tend to reach a broader audience than books do, generally speaking. So all these journalists and pundits and media types who have just sort of nodded along the whole time, oh, look at the teenyboppers and their cutesy sparklepires, etc., are in for one hell of an awakening when the fourth movie comes out. They're suddenly going to discover the insanity we've been talking about for years. It will be nothing but wall-to-wall media pearl-clutching, I'm telling you.

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Date: 2010-01-12 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flamingtoilet.livejournal.com
*non-Twilight comment ahead, feel free to ignore*

Okay, it's been less than 10 years since we did the original Spider-Man. Is Hollywood seriously so bad at coming up with ideas that we have to recycle so quickly?

Date: 2010-01-12 12:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
I'm very suspicious as to why they want to reboot the series entirely. You don't need Sam Raimi to just make a fourth movie; you can get anyone to do that (not that it'll turn out good, but you can). Wanting to start the series over suggests that they want to give it a different feel and tone, and I am a bit wary of what that might mean.

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Onion article

Date: 2010-01-12 12:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emerybored.livejournal.com
OMG I so needed that. The Olive Garden bit cracked me up completely. Like, crying asthma-attack, crack up.

Re: Onion article

Date: 2010-01-12 12:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
THE GARLIC! THE BETRAYAL.

Re: Onion article

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Re: Onion article

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Date: 2010-01-12 12:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] distantechoes.livejournal.com
The Spiderman 4 news makes me just as sick as almost every other link on here ("EBERT IS DEAD? No, wait...", "James McAvoy, what are you thinking?", etc), mainly because I am so sick of sequels running into the ground and reboots not doing so well.

As far as the use of "reboot," I'm pretty sure it's a broad term. Could be like Terminator 4, or like Indiana Jones 4 or Die Hard 4, or like Transformers or Star Trek (XI), or could be like Hulk (Bana vs. Norton). I imagine this instance is more like Terminator 4 (many of the same characters, totally different actors, but not a totally new/separate story line).

Date: 2010-01-12 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shannonsequitur.livejournal.com
Despite feeling ill just from reading your recap of Breaking Dawn, I insist that any potential movie version should totally be like that .gif with the Twilight characters' heads pasted over the chestburster scene from Alien.

Date: 2010-01-12 01:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flamingtoilet.livejournal.com
What, you mean this one?

Image
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