A couple of things

[cleolinda]

Let's take a look at the Cosmo Bedside Astrologer, shall we? Because I spent a good hour this morning snickering over this.

@cleolinda: Heh, Cosmo's 2010 Bedside Astrologer supplement. Always entertaining in a "This is so not a life I will ever lead" way.

@cleolinda: http://twitpic.com/soa7s - All of this is going to happen. I totally believe it.

"Under energetic Jupiter, you're not ready for the holiday-party season to end. On the 20th, organize a night out with a competitive edge, like bowling." Sexy bowling.

Also, "solo sex" is recommended for April.

(Just April?)

@cleolinda http://twitpic.com/soajj - NO, COSMO

@PhurieDae: @cleolinda Sorry, all I can see on that horoscope spread is Superintimate Octopus.

@cleolinda: Apparently my "spiciest" match would be a Leo, like... Daniel Radcliffe. COSMO, Y U DO THIS?

@cleolinda: My "sweetest" would be an Aries, like... Hayden Christensen. I give up.

@count_01: @cleolinda At first, it was all right, you're a Potter fan. Now a pattern emerges, and you sound like more of a creepy pedo/cougar.

@cleolinda: @count_01 Okay, first off, no, it was NEVER all right. Not Harry Potter! I reviewed the first movie when I was 22 and he was A BABY.

@cleolinda: @count_01 AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME ZAC EFRON OKAY

He's all yours, Libras.

@cleolinda: http://twitpic.com/sob15 - Interestingly, I'm a Virgo ascendant.

I have to admit, "Your Guilty Pleasure: Being a Bad Girl" made me laugh, because "getting a huge kick out of shocking friends with occasional naughty exploits" is not too far off "being mostly prim on the internet, except for really filthy jokes now and then, just to keep people on their toes."

@cleolinda: I do like how the Virgo one is specifically like, "He has to be able to fix your PC." WHERE WERE YOU DURING THE COMPOCALYPSE.

Secondly, I feel like we need to have a little linkspam.

Exclusive: The villain's song from Disney's 'THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG.'

The Snow Queen is One of Disney's Next Hand-Drawn Films.

Peter Jackson Provides an Interesting Update on 'Temeraire.'

'The Lovely Bones': Hitchcock Meets Dali In Purgatory. 

EXCLUSIVE: Here's What Ryan Reynolds Wants From A 'Deadpool' Trailer.

First Teaser Poster for 'Twilight Saga: Eclipse.' (It's a hi-res version of the one I posted a couple of weeks ago. YEAH, I PAID FOR THE TWILIGHT TRACKER iPHONE APP, BITE ME. Believe me, you can't hate me anymore than I hate myself.)

"There is a fiercely protective immortal hero who longs for your heart AND HIS NAME IS JESUS."

New NECA figures! 1) The Littlest Jasper is portrayed in the throes of Mad Hair Disease. 2) The Littlest Jacob is freakishly lifelike. For real. It's kind of disturbing. 3) WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE EDWARD. SERIOUSLY. They HAVE a perfectly decent likeness on file! (This would be their... third Edward figure now, I think? Not counting Edward 1.2, Sunglasses Edward?) For those of you who did not see the movie, the little shirt rip is to represent the hole in his soul now that Bella is dead ("dead") or something, whatever. Look, go catch up. Also: "SPARKLE MOTION!" I can't tell if that's a joke or a feature--oh my God, I literally just now noticed this--they're listed as "Edward" and "Sparkle Edward"! It IS a feature! As are crossed eyes. PAINT MORE BETTER, NECA. OH MY GOD. I don't think The Shelf will be able to handle any of this.

ETA: Tonner Bella is selling out and NEW MOON TONNER BELLA WILL BE OUT SOON. And yet, I STILL HAVE NO ALICE.



(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Comments

oh hell no!

[starnightmuse.livejournal.com]

please tell me that "religious spin off of Twilight" is a parody/an attempt to understand twilight through a religious lense.

ANYTHING BUT an actual religious spin off of twilight.

I mean mormons are getting a bit of a bad rep because of twilight, and Christians and Catholics been gettinf one for centuries
please tell me there is no change of the twilight hate now wanting to burn Christianity.

should i start crying.

cause right now i feel like i should.

Re: oh hell no!

[truth-is-tragic.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately neither one would surprise me, but it sounds more like a crazy reactionary "evils of Twilight" kinda deal to me. Like the people who wouldn't let their kids read Harry Potter on the grounds that it taught them witchcraft.

I might join you in crying, though.

Re: oh hell no!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

It sounds like a commentary on it--"Love Jesus instead of vampires," etc. It doesn't sound like a fictional Twilight-style narrative.

[mysticowl.livejournal.com]

Russia has a great cartoon of the Snow Queen. I loved it as a kid (t's actually up on youtube in its entirety). I can't wait for Disney to mutilate this story!

When my brother was a little boy, mom took him to a threatre production of Snow Queen, and the queen's appearance terrified him so much he still can't stand the fairy tale, won't even read it to his kids.

[pigsnicket.livejournal.com]

@cleolinda: @count_01 AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME ZAC EFRON OKAY

He's all yours, Libras.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[skullbutt.livejournal.com]

On behalf of fellow Librans, I concur. Hells to the no. Jingle bells to the no, too.

[munin-and-hugin.livejournal.com]

Oh, I heartily agree. PLEASE NO! Dear lovely Goddess, no! I'll take Dan Radcliffe, instead, as I'm 23. 3 year difference? Eh, not so bad.

[angelly-bean.livejournal.com]

i saw "Supernintendo Octopus"

why me?

[maisontv.livejournal.com]

Ryan Reynolds, you have my undying love. I swear to all that is holy, if FOX doesn't listen to him about this shit heads will roll.

OMFG OMFG SNOW QUEEN! *tears of joy* I still have my copy of it from when I was a kid. The version I have is illustrated by Mary Engelbright (or however you spell it) and I still take it out and read it from time to time. In fact, I think I'm gonna go read right damn now.

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

"Solo sex"? I don't think I've heard it referred to as such before.

Also, I love how they refer to the guys as "Sag guys". HEEE.

OMG. The Taylor Lautner one actually looks more real than Tiny Angry Christian Bale from the Terminator dolls. He's seriously going to fursplode off the page, isn't he?

I love the "Sparkle Motion" comic book-style bubble, because now I am picturing Edward kinda like Inspector Gadget, where he activates his Sparkle Powers by shouting out, "Sparkle Motion!" Preferably with a fist jab.

[bambbles.livejournal.com]

lol. Thanks for the Cosmo picture. Made me lol being a Sagittarius as well. I don't understand where they get this stuff and how it is suppose to apply to every person born in a month.

[aficat.livejournal.com]

Have you heard about the Breaking Dawn (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34278561/ns/entertainment-access_hollywood/) casting scams?

[munin-and-hugin.livejournal.com]

I am tempted to see just how well The Shelf would handle such a life-like TLJ... But then, they might run you to your wits end with angst and shenanigans, so maybe not.

[mazarin221b.livejournal.com]

This lack-of-Alice thing is really starting to make me curious, and I don't even collect dolls.

[jabronagh.livejournal.com]

The trouble with reading while tired: thinking that Tonner Bella has "12 points of amputation".

'Cause I don't remember that part.

[t4-flirt.livejournal.com]

Firstly, that whole "There is a fiercely protective immortal hero who longs for your heart AND HIS NAME IS JESUS." thing creeps me out. There's good Jesus and bad Jesus. That is under the category of OMFG CREEPY BAD JESUS.

Secondly, the NECA figures. *shudder* I don't know which is worse, lifelike shirtless Jacob, or sparkle motion Edward. I think I'll stick to wanting good ol' TLE for the Shelfians in my room. (My poor hubby...he's got a shelfian community in our bedroom now.)

[lemonsalt.livejournal.com]

So I get Zac Efron???? That's...disturbing O.o

[greedyskunk.livejournal.com]

Every time I hear about the Snow Queen, I think about the novel by Joan D. Vinge. I've never read the original fairy tale (hangs head in shame), so I have no idea how connected the stories are. The novel has beautiful cover art, though. In fact, I bought the book based solely on the cover.

[darkfrog24.livejournal.com]

"There is a fiercely protective immortal hero who longs for your heart AND HIS NAME IS JESUS."

It looks like someone stared too long into the crazy and the crazy stared back.

[syustat71605.livejournal.com]

Keeping with the vamp!jesus theme...

"The power of Christ impales you" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0311361/). I just have to say the a movie with plot keywords Kung-Fu Action, Jesus Christ, and Lesbian Vampire is something every home in America should own.

The trailer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LRIypcaIX4).

[bonnieirishlass.livejournal.com]

i always loved those magazine horoscopes. it's like those "What kind of man would be right for you?" quizzes. they're always so wrong that it's hilarious.

also, someone may have mentioned this, but you twittered something about never having run your laptop off the cord....as someone who used to do that, lemme warn you, it shorts out the battery. you'll need a new one in a few months if you leave the battery in/computer plugged in all the time.
i recommend just pulling the battery out until you need to use it sans cord [save yourself a nice, i dunno, $150-200 down the road]

[rhoda-rants.livejournal.com]

Cleo, have you seen this yet? (http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/23/twilight-themed-heroin-baggies-seized-in-new-york/#atssh-print) I swear, every time I think I've seen it all from this fandom, we get hit with a whole 'nother dose of crazy. It's a beautiful thing.

[music-mama.livejournal.com]

Have you seen this author's intellectual argument for the success of Twilight? I thought it was interesting because I am not Mormon and haven't heard anyone make this connection:

http://www.touchstonemag.com/archives/article.php?id=22-08-024-f

[truth-is-tragic.livejournal.com]

I keep watching that The Princess and the Frog clip and squeeing. I really hope they make good on putting out a hand-drawn every two years.

[edda.livejournal.com]

Interestingly, I'm a Virgo ascendant.

Me too!