Another day, another problem

[cleolinda]

So it turns out that we're not out of the Compocalyptic woods yet, kids. (Don't panic! It's not that bad.) I've finally set Lizzie up at my desk--which I haven't worked at for nearly four months now, by the way--and it turns out that... she doesn't fit. See, it's a huge desk with an attached shelf overtop, and it's divided down the middle by a... well, a divider. And each half is only just big enough to fit the laptop--not really anything that attaches. You know, like the wireless unit for a keyboard and mouse, or headphones, or the iPhone jack, or ANYTHING AT ALL, really. The divider doesn't run all the way from the back to the front of the desk--if I pull the laptop out, I can fit attachments in... but that's all the way to the edge of the desk, so there's no room for a separate keyboard. I'm so disgusted, I can't even tell you.

(Also, I looked at the wireless mouse, and it is completely alien to me. Great.)

So what I'm facing here is the prospect of buying a second desk. I love this desk. I don't want it to go anywhere. Also, there isn't any real possibility of it going anywhere, because I'm not even sure how we heaved it upstairs in the first place. So I'm thinking it might be possible to find a light, cheap desk--a glorified table, really, if I can get one at the right sit-down height--and put it against the foot of my bed. I am really running out of room in my room, but this is the simplest solution I can think of.

So until then, I'm stuck with the flaky touchpad mouse and the keyboard I'm not quite used to, but, like I said: it's kind of on the level of complaining that my diamond shoes are too tight.

Been resting mostly--slept in this morning, since the dogs are off getting their baths to be all shiny-fresh for Happy Eating Day. Still trying to work on New Moon in Fifteen Minutes--I am this close to busting out the 5x8 notecards all hardcore "I are srs writer"-style, just because I get completely overwhelmed by my sea of notes. FYI: I have never had to use notecards for a Fifteen Minutes before. Don't ever say I don't love you.

Meanwhile, this breaks my heart: Chris Weitz finally admits that New Line screwed The Golden Compass over. 

Weitz claims that New Line didn't trust him to handle the content of the book, that the film was taken from him in editing. Heavy-handed hacking resulted in losing nearly 30 minutes of footage from the film, and neatly exercised the edgy thrust of Phillip Pullman's book. "It was an utter violation of my status as a director and the worst thing that has happened to me professionally ... I was treated badly, it was almost like they never read the books. They seemed frightened of offending the right." Out of loyalty to the cast and crew, Weitz said he "bit through my tongue" when Compass was released.

Also: 7 Threatened Fanboy Responses to New Moon. Which really piss me off, by the way. There's a line between "The Twilight movies are ridiculous and I disagree with their view of the world" and "OMG SOMETHING LIKED BY GIRRRRRRRRRRRRLS." I was glad it didn't outgross The Dark Knight because the latter is one of my favorite movies, not because such an event would shrivel my e-penis, BOYS.

(Also-also: apparently you can now talk to your kids about Edward Cullen and drugs at the same time.)


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Comments

[sun-star-n-moon.livejournal.com]

The Edward heroin is just all sorts of wrong.

[elbales]

My actual response:

I... I... what? I--no. I-- what?

HI, YES, I TEACH ENGLISH. PROFESSIONALLY. *facepalm* It just goes to show you, the MA won't help you if your brain has just leaked out of your ear.

[swsa.livejournal.com]

That fanboy article just made me seethe. Especially in that I keep seeing people trying to justify those reactions. No, seriously, shut up.

[savvy-implet.livejournal.com]

I couldn't even finish reading it after like the first third. I wanted to reach through the internet and rip off some bits too much.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_good_kitty/]

Depending on how much weight-bearing the middle divider does, you could cut it back with a hacksaw ---not all the way, leave about two inches at the back for some of the weight-bearing action. That would leave plenty of space for Lizzie. And if the top bit gets tilty you could take two one-inch dowels (carved or decorated how you see fit) and install them at the front edge of the top bit about a third of the way in from the sides or so and it should bear up nicely!

[coffeehouse.livejournal.com]

Yes, this is a good idea.
Mine was that you get a docking station. It docks to the back of the puter and you plug all your stuff into it, leaving the sides of Lizzie free to fit.

[acaciakitty.livejournal.com]

I think "don't ever say I don't love you" should become a tag.

Could you maybe get one of those little laptop rolly carts and maybe sit it next to your desk? Or maybe get something to add on to the end of your desk to make a sort of L shaped work station? Of course, this is all in your bedroom so I don't know how much space you've got to work with.

[sandrayln.livejournal.com]

Seconded this, or... the $20 solution. There are small, white, foldable tables at Walmart (or used to be; I haven't looked since they ransacked remodeled ours) that are about $20 and about the right height for a computer table. I ended up spending a few more bucks on one of those raised monitor stand things to give myself a little more space on it, but there IS enough room.

[litlover12.livejournal.com]

"Frightened of offending the right."

Here we go again. The film is the responsibility of the writers and the actors and the director and the producer and the studio -- but when you get right down to it, every problem it had is the fault of THE BIG BAD EVIL RELIGIOUS RIGHT.

Sigh.

Okay, I'm a Christian. So naturally I have problems with the whole "The idea of God is responsible for all evil in the world and if we can just get rid of it then everything will be happy shiny hunky dory" bit. But that's the fundamental premise of the books, and if you're going to make a film of the books, then that's going to be in there. It's a given. So if you're going to offend us red-eyed drooling-fanged dimwitted religious nutcases ANYWAY, why not make the film a good film while you're doing it?

I almost think the Ghost of Christmas Past needs to have a little talk with these folks: "That they are what they are, do not blame me." Or in other words, own your own crappy film.

[andelku.livejournal.com]

Uh, it's not the fault of All Christians Everywhere. But there are a group of organized people with time on their hands who will take their time and energy to mobilize boycotts, letter writing campaigns and other random acts of nuisance and yeah, many production companies would prefer not to get them riled up.

Because this group happens to call themselves Christian doesn't mean they or their actions have anything to do with God, the idea of God, or anything of the kind. You don't have to be an atheist to dislike them. You don't even have to dislike THEM to dislike their behavior.

[swordmage.livejournal.com]

That little bit of Golden Compass made an already spiffy day that much better.

[coffeehouse.livejournal.com]

Yes! Do you think there will be a director's cut???

[lalumena.livejournal.com]

That fanboy article annoyed me. There are terrible boy movies that reinforce negative stereotypes, and have been doing so for years. Take Transformers 2, for example. It was rife with them! But somehow, the Twilight Saga is worth so much more scorn. I guess it's more popular, but I don't think they're as justified in their self-righteous loathing as they clearly think they are.

Also, you are in no position to judge something if you have not read/seen it.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

One of the things that cracks me up is that it's okay for Michael Bay to pretty much put his camera up Megan Fox's ass while she's bent over a motorcycle in tiny shorts, but God forbid we should have fanservice for girls. So many of these reviews seem indignant about the very CONCEPT of Edward--not as a stalker, but as a pretty boy. Jacob they seem to understand as simple beefcake, at least.

[eruditefics.livejournal.com]

I dont' often comment on your blog, but I had to say something about Golden Compass.

Seriously?!?!

I loved those books so much for their religious symbolism and the poetic nature of the ending of the first one was upsetting, but at least it sparked emotion. I can't beleive that there was 30 minutes cut! And New Line could wonder why the movie didn't do well.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I wish they'd just sacked up and embraced potential controversy as a way to make money. "THE MOVIE THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE!" At least that way we would have gotten a better movie out of it. Make it work, people.

[sabra-n.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Thirty extra minutes wouldn't get rid of Pan's ridiculous expositional dialogue, the lack of urgency in the intercission scene, and the total vagueness of the Magisterium's plotting. It might succeed in giving us more of a sense of the cultures of the bears, gyptians, and witches, which would be nice, and I assume that the actual ending of the book is in that half-hour, too, since I heard it was filmed. But I still have the impression that Weitz got some things wrong all by his lonesome.

[marlinkhylacat]

Man, I loved the Golden Compass movie, mainly because it made Lyra far more likable than she was in the books (seriously, it's not good when you spend the entire trilogy wanting to smack the main character). I was honestly about to cry when I heard the next two movies were a no-go.

At the same time, though, I was pretty pissed at how the GC movie was sanitized and torn apart. As someone above said, the movie was gonna piss people off anyways, so why not keep it true to the original book? At least then you'd be more likely to have fans of the books on your side.

[mdmbrightside.livejournal.com]

The Fanboys are already getting out of control - instead of attacking the books or films, which are fair game, the people they attack are the fans or who they think are fans, which is always and only some type of female.

Some of the Funny or Die skits actually promote violence against just the fans, like the Inglorious Vampires (http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/eda657a8bc/twilight-new-moon-inglourious-vampires)) parody or even the mean-spirited New Moon preview prank where they riled a bunch of people up and then called them losers for being excited. If they tried that with another series like Star Wars they would at least be respectful of the fans, where here they only necessary qualification for being called dumb is going to a movie screening.

By no means do I love the series, but someone shouldn't be insulted or attacked because they like it. And what was an issue about the quality of literature or film-making is quickly becoming a feminist issue about girls influencing the film market.

[triplethreat310.livejournal.com]

Oh, the Golden Compass stuff pisses me off. It's almost like they are just reinforcing the whole point of the book with the Authority and the Church and all that. People need to have better reading comprehension skills in this country, I'm telling you.

[mrsandreak.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I loved His Dark Materials, and I didn't get an "atheist" feel at all, just an anti-established-religion feel, which I concur with a great deal. What a crying shame that it can't open up more conversations about the nature of spirituality and God (in whichever form you see him/her/it). Chris Weitz did as good a job as the studio would let him, I guess - it's too bad we won't get to see the footage that was cut.

And as for the fanboy comment #2 - STFU. COCKTEASE?? Seriously?? She spends the entire series trying to get into Edward's pants, it's virgin Eddie that won't give it up. It's a little annoying to watch her get all excited and beg for sex and he has to manfully and masterfully keep her in line. Psssh.

[sevenmarie.livejournal.com]

#2 - STFU. COCKTEASE??
I KNOW RITE?! like HELLO she is ALWAYS the one coming on to Edward and he is always the one pushing her back/stepping away!

[harveypenguin.livejournal.com]

You can totally pick up a little flatpacked rolly laptop desk at Target for like $40. That's what I did, and I'm perfectly happy with it.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

UGH those fanboy judgements. I only just saw the movie last night, and I think half the problems is that there's SHIRTLESS DUDES EVERYWHERE OMG. And this may well freak out the hetero fanboys more than Doc Manhattan in Watchmen, because at least the fanboys probably read the comic and sort of expected a giant blue penis on the screen.

That said, I did /o\ so hard during the movie. I couldn't embrace it with the same endearing mindlessness of the first movie.

Re: Golden Compass, I honestly liked the movie. I haven't read the books, they don't really appeal to me as I don't need an anti-religious message shoved so forcefully down my throat. I don't know if I would have enjoyed the movie so much if they had gone with that. Admittedly, I mostly wanted to see what all the fuss was about and got all, "that's it? That's hardly so scandalous as to reach for the smelling salts and clutch your pearls, Vatican." but I had much the same reaction to the DaVinci Code. At least Golden Compass had a polar bear fight. That would have spruced the DaVinci Code right up.

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

Hey, another person who liked Golden Compass! Now there are two of us!

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there needs to be a middle ground with the male reactions to Twilight. Some of it, to be generous, seems to be 'Why are you falling for this? You're supposed to be smarter than boys!' Other responses, yeah, not so much.

There's stupid and massively popular entertainment for boys, and there's stupid and massively popular entertainment for girls. And there are people of either gender all over the spectrum on their feelings about said entertainment.

Even King Fanboy Harry Knowles said Transformers 2 was a piece of shit and has said supportive things about Twilight (mainly because his wife digs it and he's happy to see girls getting their own geek franchise). When you look to Harry Knowles as a voice of reason in a cultural debate, terror is afoot.

[jeeperstseepers.livejournal.com]

If you keep the laptop pulled forward, would there be room to use a mouse, at least? Because touch-pads remain a bit of a pain, but you really can get used to typing on a laptop keyboard. I know, I know, it SUCKS at first, and you think there's no way you can get used to it, but you really can. I was forced to stop using my desktop and live on my laptop when a back problem robbed me of the ability to sit for more than a few minutes at a time. It took a while, but I got very used to my laptop keyboard, and now I don't even notice anything weird.

Whatever happens, good luck.

[benprime.livejournal.com]

I suggest: turn your laptop sideways and slot it in to one side of your desk. Purchase, beg, borrow or steal a screen which is an appropriate width to fit in the other side of your desk. You already have a separate mouse and keyboard it seems. Point towards you the side of the laptop with the DVD drive (if present). Cons: (bought) screen costs money, external screen uses extra electricity.
The docking station (provided it is not wider than the laptop itself) and the shelf relocation suggested by other correspondents also seem sensible. Just observe where the cooling vents on Lizzie are, and if they are at the side(s), make sure there is enough venting room.

Very much enjoyed 2012 in 15 minutes, thank you for writing. Did not enjoy the first Twilight film... don't care enough about it to have a considered, balanced, detailed opinion about it.

I hope you get well soon.

[angelene.livejournal.com]

I'm not entirely sure I understand the architecture of the Lizzie vs desk problem, but wouldn't one of those laptop-stands be of use in by-passing the problem? You could set the laptop on the support, and make room for the attachments as well as the keyboard/mouse not to mention your arms/elbows.

I'm thinking something like this (http://www.amazon.com/Griffin-Technology-iCurve-Laptop-Stand/dp/B00007L6IA) or this (http://www.google.com/products/catalog?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=1G1GGLQ_ENIT355&q=laptop+stand&um=1&ie=UTF-8&cid=4163113221902874198&ei=F0EMS4iAHI-C_Qb49tGuBQ&sa=X&oi=product_catalog_result&ct=result&resnum=5&ved=0CB0Q8wIwBA#ps-sellers), but there are many of many shapes and um price range. Here's even some DYI instances (http://lifehacker.com/369689/top-10-diy-laptop-stands) and Ikea's got fairly cheap alternatives both as stands/supports or laptop tables (http://www.ikea.com/us/en/search/?query=laptop) (the Brada laptop support (http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/60150176) actually looks pretty sturdy in person; would it help in by-passing the infamous divider?).

[avalon451.livejournal.com]

This is something like what I was thinking, too.

I have an old rolltop desk, and we removed the drawer underneath the writing area and installed a pull-out keyboard tray. It holds my wireless keyboard and has a slide-out shelf on the right side for my mouse. This also has the advantage of making the keyboard lower and more ergonomically comfortable. Very handy. I really prefer using the larger keyboard and the wireless mouse instead of the touchpad, though when I take the laptop to work, I put up with it.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Would it be possible to improvise a slightly higher desktop on top of the old desktop?

[havocs-roman.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I'm visualising your desk correctly, so I can't advise (though my first instinct was to say 'Remove the divide.' Would that make the shelf tumble down?), but perhaps a temporary solution would be one of those breakfast tray/table thingies (you know, those fancy trays with, er, legs) You can set it on the bed and, er, work there? However large Lizzie is, she can't be too heavy for a solid tray.

I think too-tight diamond shoes would go a smidge beyond "uncomfortable" and straight into "OW!" territory, wouldn't they?

Re: Golden Compass, I saw it with my BBF (I'd read the book, she hadn't), and I sat there when the credits rolled, going "They cut out the ending! OMG, this is so bad it's good!" and having a complete laughing fit at the cinema. Contrary to me, my BFF is a physics/science buff, and she just couldn't get why I thought cutting out "the ending" was so hilarious/infuriating. Cue much indignation from her when she got home and Wikipedia-ed the plotline.

I just don't get some marketing ideas. I understand marketing your film to the widest possible demographic, and yes, I do understand the Bible Belt has enough cinemagoing public to make Hollywood quake. But The Gold Compass (and I say this as a complete NON-fan of HDM) was never going to be Bible Belt friendly--you had two audiences there. Those who read/liked the books, who would have wanted a good portrayal of the plot, and those unfamiliar with the story, who would have coughed up the money before they had the time to be offended. Erasing so much of the original idea just left everyone unhappy. Who the hell thought that was good idea?

[sevenmarie.livejournal.com]

diamond shoes:
see im picturing like diamond engrusted slippers but is uppose if they were daimonds cut into a shoe shape, yes that would be very ouch-y

[yukishiido.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Could you maybe work on your bed instead of at your desk? I'm unsure about how viable that is.


And that really, really disappoints me that they cut out so much from Golden Compass. I read the books ages ago, way before I saw the movie, so I enjoyed the film because my memory of the book was a little fuzzy, though I didn't like that they seemed to change it from "TEH CHURCH IS EVAL!!!" to "Uh... they're a bad group of people. Stop it.".
I'm sad to see that the next two are a no-go. =( I was excited, too.


And my god. While I can't stand the insane fans of Twilight, I enjoyed the books as fun fluff, regardless of the message they sent, because I can tell the difference between fiction and reality. Those reactions are ridiculous. I hate it when people decide "OMG I DON'T LIKE SOMETHING I'M GONNA BASH IT ALL THE TIME!!!1!!!1one!". I still wonder, though, why it's so insanely popular.

Also, one of the comments on that site:
"Sounds like these boys were a bit more turned on by Taylor Lautner than they are comfortable with."

I laughed. I really did.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was working on my bed initially, but even with the laptop on a low box, it was bad for my posture and a bit hard to type.

"Sounds like these boys were a bit more turned on by Taylor Lautner than they are comfortable with."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

[syvia.livejournal.com]

To the fanboys;

1.) Right back at you, darling. May your testicles shrivel, that you never spawn and teach that attitude to your sons.

2.) "Thank god they make medication for girls like that now..."

Is this medication by some chance Rohypnol?

4.) It would be the most wonderful irony if you were a fan of Fight Club.

5.) Ooooh, I almost agreed with this one. Then you said "pimply, braces-wearing", because it's important to note that the girl who picks up the Twilight book would be in some way unattractive to you. Ass.

7.) Stay classy.

[sevenmarie.livejournal.com]

i love how #2 calls bella a cocktease like WHAT what movie were you watching?

[corinnethewise.livejournal.com]

You can totally put a normal keyboard on top of the laptop keyboard and type that way. If you have an external mouse then the problem is basically solved. I used a book shelf as a desk for a year and a half and that's exactly what I did. I had almost no room, but it held my computer with the keyboard on top of the laptop keyboard and had a little room on the side for the mouse.

[elfin-miss.livejournal.com]

When watching the video response on 7 Threatened Fanboy Responses to New Moon, did anyone else scream "OMFG THEY'RE GONNA BE KILLED" after they heard the premise of the prank?
I feel that's the natural reaction to hearing about someone with plans to taunt a large group of Twilighters with a fake movie screening.

[baku-chan.livejournal.com]

pretty much this.