I can't believe I'm doing this

[cleolinda]

Okay, look. I can't be at the computer a whole lot and I can post links even less, particularly since I'm cleaning madly for the lunchtime electricians, but we have got to get a few things out of the way because this is the subject of half my inbox this morning:

Yes, I have seen the sparklecock. Yes, you too can now own your own unofficially Twilight-themed glitter dildo. Well, technically I haven't looked at it yet, although I have read the description ("THROW IT IN THE FRIDGE FOR THAT AUTHENTIC EXPERIENCE"?), because I am on the family computer and I will never, ever be able to explain this.

And yes, Edward's life-size shadow can watch you while you use it.

Excuse me, I have to go bleach my mind's eye now.


(Also, Amazon's Tonner prom exclusive Bella has her own little leg cast. Apparently the doll's product name--the way the SDCC Edward exclusive was "Hungry"--is "Turn Me." I... I really don't like thinking about all three of these items being in the same room.)

Comments

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

*collapses laughing*

[feisty-beden.livejournal.com]

Oh mah fucking hell. That ... I ... oh god. Please to be passing the brain bleach?

[omarandjohnny.livejournal.com]

And yes, Edward's life-size shadow can watch you while you use it.

THAT'S IT. I'm building a fallout bunker in my backyard. Who wants to join me?

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

"THROW IT IN THE FRIDGE FOR THAT AUTHENTIC EXPERIENCE"? I couldn't help but think of your comment in the Breaking Dawn recap: it would be like fucking a popsicle.

[troubleinchina.livejournal.com]

And you shared those mental images with us all.

Oh Cleo, I love you so much.

Now I'm going to delete my browser history and hide under my bed.

[cherrysakura5.livejournal.com]

I'm not into Twitter but I still follow:
I love how the moment a Twilight-themed glitter dildo comes out, the reaction of Earth's entire population is, "HAS CLEO SEEN THIS YET?????"

LOL! When I heard about it I actually did wonder if you've seen it.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

It would, in fact, be just like that.

I can't believe they WENT THERE.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I suppose it could be worse--the reaction of Earth's entire population could be, "I have to SEND Cleo one of these!"

BAH, AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[juniperbrea.livejournal.com]

This is just... thanks, you've made my day with this rediculousness! I'll be laughing all day, I've texted two of my devoeted twilightie friends, and I know they'll be angry because I woke them, but it was too priceless not too.

[huushiita.livejournal.com]

A dildo is cool. A pale flesh-like dildo is cool. Especially one that's life like.

But one that fucking SPARKLES and is CALLED Vamp? That's some serious sick shit right there. Not to mention the silloette. Doesn't that border on harrasment for the actor? I mean, seriously, they're just making it easier for the loons to stalk him even more!

*feels violently ill*

[queenanthai.livejournal.com]

You know you just gave someone an idea, right?

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

I don't have any desire to see the sparkildoe, but... part of me is horrified, however part of me couldn't be less surprised. O_o

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Doesn't that border on harrasment for the actor?

Do they use the actor, though? If they do, yeah, that's pretty twisted, but if it's just Edward, that doesn't necessarily mean the actor.

However, have not looked at the pictures, so. And if it's true? Yeah, that's actually very stalkery and disturbing.

[huushiita.livejournal.com]

They may be calling it 'Edward' but it IS his sillouette they are using, so to me it's the one and the same. O.o

[bloodwings1.livejournal.com]

I love the VIDEO of it sparkling in the sun.... the music is just so insanely funny, all dark and vampy while it sparkles.

Why do I want to go post it on TwiMoms?

*smacks own hand*

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Please. If they would actually do it, they'd have thought of it by now. If anyone's going to, it's probably already waiting in my PO box as we speak.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I was mostly surprised that it took them a year to get one out.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

That's the silhouette of a cardboard standup (also officially available for purchase) of the actor/character. I hate that I know this, but I recognize the pose.

I don't know that it borders on harassment any more than the officially licensed cardboard standup does, though. If anything, it might be a merchandising rights issue between the decal maker and the standup maker.

[zen-child.livejournal.com]

oh my word

D:

[queenanthai.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't dismiss it out of hand. You might need it after the past couple of weeks. XD

[lisa-zj.livejournal.com]

Oh, I can. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the "shadow Edward" weren't created for just that....uummm....purpose. (Please don't bogart the bleach).

I think Tonner's getting a little carried away with the Edward/Bella dolls.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised they didn't name it The Unicorn, honestly.

[karmyn75.livejournal.com]

Give it a few weeks. It's not officially released yet.

[lisa-zj.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahaha! oh noes, hahahahaha! OMG, dying. Just. ded.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, I can't blame them--if they sell? And they're exclusives, so fewer are being made. Honestly, there's like four different Harry Potter dolls (regular! weekend clothes! Yule Ball! tournament!), three different Rons and Hermiones--dolls with variant outfits aren't unusual for them, particularly for a property that popular. Even with Golden Compass, there's several Mrs. Coulter dolls and/or outfits, and two separate Lyras.