I can't believe I'm doing this

[cleolinda]

Okay, look. I can't be at the computer a whole lot and I can post links even less, particularly since I'm cleaning madly for the lunchtime electricians, but we have got to get a few things out of the way because this is the subject of half my inbox this morning:

Yes, I have seen the sparklecock. Yes, you too can now own your own unofficially Twilight-themed glitter dildo. Well, technically I haven't looked at it yet, although I have read the description ("THROW IT IN THE FRIDGE FOR THAT AUTHENTIC EXPERIENCE"?), because I am on the family computer and I will never, ever be able to explain this.

And yes, Edward's life-size shadow can watch you while you use it.

Excuse me, I have to go bleach my mind's eye now.


(Also, Amazon's Tonner prom exclusive Bella has her own little leg cast. Apparently the doll's product name--the way the SDCC Edward exclusive was "Hungry"--is "Turn Me." I... I really don't like thinking about all three of these items being in the same room.)

Comments

[stardustshine.livejournal.com]

That line in the Breaking Dawn recap gave me a horrible epiphany I had not had while reading the book.

"A popsicle - OH MY GOD, NO IT WOULDN'T, BECAUSE THAT'S WHY HE WENT SWIMMING IN THE TROPICAL WATER, SO HE WOULD BE WARM FOR HER, OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST THOUGHT THAT EW EW EW"

Then I realized SMeyer had to have thought about the whole scenario hard enough to realize he would do that, and I was even more freaked out. Yet, it's so in character. UGH THIS IS A TWISTED WORLD

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

You know what's really sad? My sister was saying something last week about the water in a pool being warmest in the evening (because it's been absorbing sunlight all day), and that's when I suddenly had this sideways flash of OH GOD THAT'S WHY HE WAS IN THE WATER.

Yes, it took me AN ENTIRE YEAR to catch on to that. You got it from the recap I wrote last August, and I got it LAST WEEK.

[stardustshine.livejournal.com]

To be fair, I actually got it while rereading the recap at some undetermined time between a few months ago and last August. So while I can't specify exactly how long ago I got it, it wasn't THAT long ago.

So then, for the truly authentic experience, would you throw it in the fridge and then put it in a warm bathtub? Why am I even thinking about this??? UGH.