Uh-oh

[cleolinda]

Oh, you guys, this is so bad. I guess this is the flip side of being Grumpy Bear for four months: I think I'm entering a manic episode or phase or something. And it never used to be mania; it was more of a hypomania where I was really happy and creative, but that was it. But the last year or so, these (rare) spells have been like... downing three espressos or something. I can't eat; I can't sleep; I don't care that I can't eat or sleep; and right now, I'm perfectly calm except that my foot's thumping like a rabbit's. The real problem is that I feel so hyperfocused that I can't focus at all, if that makes sense. Be assured, though, that this only feels extreme to me because I'm usually so low-energy. I'm not up on the roof all WOOOOO BITCHES I CAN FLYYYYYY! Miss Cleo has not gone cray-cray.

The first really distinct "manic" episode I remember was two summers ago, about this time, and I felt like I was really deeply in love--except that there was no one around to be in love with, so I knew it wasn't that. And I'm kind of having that feeling again, except... really, really caffeinated. And a bit less pleasant. And loud or sudden noises are really upsetting. Shit.


ETA: Okay, a little calmer now. Good.

ETA: Yeah, I've talked to my doctor. That's what the medication adjustment I mentioned the other day is supposed to help.

Comments

[gwynnywonk.livejournal.com]

Oh man, best of luck with that. ACTUAL caffeine probably doesn't help, huh. Better stay away from diet coke for a little while.

Do you think this is related to the recent adjustment in your meds, or is it more of a cyclical thing? If it's worse than ever previously... I'd maybe consider what the above posters have said and consult your doctor? But on the other hand, it's often really hard for doctors to understand the degree of change in your mood that a tiny adjustment in medication can make.

I'm sure you'll figure it out- I think we all just wish we could give better advice than "Durr maybe see a doctor durr?"

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, the thing is, I took the new dose once, and the resulting crying jag--I was like, the hell with this, I gotta get some work done, I'll take the new dose after I finish. So theoretically it might could help this, but I'm not taking it yet.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

I've done that before, only it was "Frak, I'm going away with my boyfriend for the weekend and I don't want to feel sick." Depression is far more forgiving, however, and the new dose turned out to be too much.

Brain tweaks are no fun at all. Pulling for ya. ♥