Not the entry I had planned

[cleolinda]

You guys, I was hardly even interested in the new Terminator movie until I saw THIS.

LOOK AT THAT. That is the best facial hair I have ever seen on a doll. Ever. Period. And possibly the best facial likeness as well.

"And look at those WEAPONS."

The John Connor 12 inch Figure features:

* Leather jacket
* Pants
* T-shirt
* Tactical full body harness
* Headset
* Radio with pouch
* M4 magazine pouches
* Pistol Magazine pouch
* Demolition blocks
* Drop leg panel
* Armband
* Patch
* Assault boots
* Tactical gloves
* M4A1 with tactical red dot sight
* XM-26 LSS
* Line launcher
* Pistol with holster
* Tactical fixed blade

"Even his BOOTS assault people."

"And his gun is really, really BIG."

I don't think you need to be anywhere near automatic firearms, Princess--

(Elizabeth joins us at this point, but she stands by my other arm, opposite from Anna and Faramir. There is palpable awkwardness in the air.)

Anna ignores her. "Someone's got to attend to LAW AND ORDER around here," she says pointedly, glancing upwards.

(Edward, who is trying to listen in from a safe distance, ducks back down behind the Minas Tirith above my desk.)

(Fortunately, Anna's Fauxmanian accent has calmed down a bit. She's still wearing the tinhat, though.)

"There is such a thing as being too butch," Faramir muses. "Although... I wonder what he's like when the armor comes off at night, the dirt and grime of the day, when he finally lets his guard down... or is he overcompensating for something? Ugh."

Really, you guys, this is entirely a moot discussion, because I do have a prioritized shopping list a mile long, so John Connor would have to take a number, you know. As much as I talk about dolls, I think The Littlest Edward is actually the first one I've bought for myself in a really long time--Elizabeth and Lyra were both Christmas/birthday presents, as were the two Ellowynes. We went years without adding anyone new, so this rapid expansion is really a very new thing for us.

"Oh, come on, we can't even look?"

Well, I mean... I guess so. Here, someone emailed the link to a really good Wolverine figure from a while back:

Pros: Fffrowr. And the facial hair, while not the best I've ever seen, is really pretty good.

Cons: Except for the upper lip, which is weirdly lacking in mustachery. Also, he's expensive, hard to get, and I don't know how well he'd get along with John Connor.

"It is not easy to look that good in leather that tight, though."

"He has knives come out of his HANDS? That is a REAL MAN."

Dude, if that's all you want, I'll get you a damn Edward Scissorhands--

(I look over, and Elizabeth looks really anxious now.)

You know, I bet there's a ton of other Summer Movie Toys coming out and dear God some of them have to be less expensive --I can't even remember what all, lemme go check...

Oh wait! Watchmen! That's already out! Hm, Nite Owl looks pretty good.

"Too whiny. And his owlarang looks lame."

Ozymandias? I don't like the paint job much, but he was kind of fierce in the movie.

Galadriel pops up with a vehement "I don't trust him at all. Not for one minute. I don't want to wake up one day and find that he blew up The Shelf just to stop Anna and Edward from fighting--"

SPOILERS, GALADRIEL!

"Sorry!"

What about Rorschach? Hm. I really don't trust him--not that he would come up with some kind of Suparrr Genius Plan Omg, but that he'd consider himself judge, jury and executioner for every little tiff.

"I'M OKAY WITH THAT."

Yeah, but do you really want him creeping around writing everything about you in Tiny Rorschach's tiny journal? Like if Harriet the Spy were a serial killer? "Hrrm. Tire tread on burst Webkinz. The whole world stands on the brink, all those elves and pirates and gypsies. Gypsies. Must remember to investigate further."

"...Maybe I'm not okay with that."

Yeah, that's what I thought. What about Silk Spectre?

"NO!"

OKAY, OKAY! Oh, hey, Star Trek! What about Star Trek?

... eh, I don't know. The guys are not impressing me. I'm just really not feeling Chris Pine!Kirk so far. And Sylar!Spock... I'm sure it'll be great in the movie and all, but I don't know that I want it on my shelf.

"Uhura might be cool."

Yeah, I think I'd like an Uhura. Except that I'd rather find one with thicker arms and legs (what is UP with the terminal thinness there?).

"She does look kind of... breakable. And you'll need to find her a ship, too."

I look over to see what the others think and Anna is GLARING at me.

"HARRY POTTER HEY THERE IS ALSO HARRY POTTER HOW ABOUT WE LOOK AT SOME HARRY POTTER?"

I SECOND THIS MOTION. Man, I've been waiting on this so long to come out, I'd forgotten it was actually coming out in July. Hm. I don't know about Harry himself. Some of the NECA figures have good likenesses, but that's some powerful angst we'd be importing there. You know what? I really want Tonner to make a Ginny doll. She's sporty; I think she'd fit in pretty well. And a Tonks! With changeable wigs! That'd be awesome. And of course they already have a Luna with a fantastic likeness. RAVENCLAW REPRESENT.

"Cho Chang is also a Ravenclaw. She seems like a nice, intelligent--"

"CRIES TOO MUCH!"

Edward scurries back to Minas Tirith.

LET'S TALK ABOUT SOME OTHER MOVIES THEN. I'm running out of stuff to care about, though. GI Joe? Didn't like 'em as a kid, doubt I'll like 'em now, haven't seen anything about the movie that set me on fire. And that goes double for Transformers, which was always "That Show I Had to Wait On to Finish So We Could Get to She-Ra." Man, I had a couple of She-Ra figures (old-school She-Ra, Swift Wind the horse, and Glimmer), and I always wanted the castle playset and never got it. That was one of the toy franchises I never had many of, unlike My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake, of which I had embarrassingly extensive collections. I had a pretty good set of Lady Lovelylocks dolls, too, including the "castle" (it was more like a really complicated gazebo) and the swan boat. (Yes, I did, in fact play Phantom of the Opera with the swan boat and some Silly Putty strategically applied to the prince doll. I was a strange child, as all children are.) And Charmkins, had some of those too. Man, I was a materially spoiled child. I think my mother felt really guilty about working such long, corporate hours. She's always tried to express love with shopping, I think. Not in the simple sense of throwing money at a kid instead of love--I mean, really sitting down and trying to figure out what we wanted, and then going through hell and high water to get it. That's my mom. Shopping and baking.

"Also, John Connor would really not get along with giant robots."

Trufax.


(More from the Secret Life of Dolls; fan community)

Comments

[glyphs.livejournal.com]

Here's a question. I'm thinking about going to see Watchmen this afternoon. I had been wanting to try and read the book before seeing it, but haven't been able to. Knowing the basics, would I be fine understanding everything or should I wait till I can get my hands on the book?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

My mom didn't have a problem with it, and she didn't even know what the movie was supposed to be about, let alone anything about the book. And then you can read the book afterwards and it'll fill you in on stuff, but really, the opening credits do a fantastic job of setting the scene for you.

BLINDFOLD THE SHELF

[countykent.livejournal.com]

Okay, I found this on Ebay...hmmmmm.

Cleo...do not open until you send The Shelf on a compost fieldtrip or something....

http://cgi.ebay.com/TONNER-TWILIGHT-EDWARD-CULLEN-NUDE-MATT-ONEILL-BODY_W0QQitemZ250388855420QQihZ015QQcategoryZ78175QQssPageNameZWD1VQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp1638Q2em118Q2el1247

Someone is actually selling Edward Dollen NEKKED! And selling his clothes separately!

(John Connor looks AWESOME!)

Re: BLINDFOLD THE SHELF

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

That seems somewhat unfair to the buyer. I mean, you'd want to buy his clothes so he'd at least have some, so the buyer has to pay more, whereas if the buyer wanted a naked doll, she could just take the clothes off.

Because it would be a she. It would totally be a she.

Re: BLINDFOLD THE SHELF

[mercurywater.livejournal.com]

OMFG......Wow....(So his clothes DO come off...)

[linwenilid.livejournal.com]

Wow... that's.... wow. O.O

I'm expecting them to come up with "yeah, we've always been able to do dolls that realistic, but were afraid the public wouldn't like them" any time now, so then I can yell IDIOTS!!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

They also have POTC dolls that are INCREDIBLE. Like a Davy Jones and everything. Their Will Turner is the best Will Turner I've seen--I mean, given that the John Connor basically looks like Tiny Actual Christian Bale, you can imagine.

http://www.sideshowtoy.com/?page_id=4489&sku=6343

And apparently they also made the Joker figures that were so crazy detailed.

[linwenilid.livejournal.com]

Is it just me, or does the doll have DIFFERENT FACIAL EXPRESSIONS????

[linwenilid.livejournal.com]

[julia-dreamer.livejournal.com]

Dear God, that doll is perfect. o0

[diddakoi.livejournal.com]

I HAD THE PINK SHE-RA CASTLE. I have no idea where it is now; I really hope my mom didn't give it away. I also had some sort of giant swan thing that came with her.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I had the swan thing too! I think they were supposed to ride it or something.

[azalaea.livejournal.com]

Your Edward continues to kind of break my heart, which is really weird. I actually went "AWW" aloud at the shot of him all lonely and hiding behind Minas Tirith.

Anna's and Elizabeth's relationship is so mysterious.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heh, not really. It's exactly what it looks like, I just preferred to be subtle rather than all Lesbian Exploitation about it.

[t4-flirt.livejournal.com]

I want a Draco Malfoy doll...I'm hoping they make one that doesn't look so, well, juvenile.

[drpeprfan.livejournal.com]

Dude, that John Connor is ridiculously awesome. I'd be afraid though of getting him, he'd try and destroy any piece of technology (computers, iPods, TVs, etc) in case it had been infiltrated by SKYNET. And that Wolverine looks great! Decisions, decisions.

P.S. I loved Lady Lovelylocks as a kid! I never had the toys, but I watched the VHS all the time, with the blonde lady at the beginning that was supposed to be the "real" LLL. *nostalgic sigh* The pixietails were the best. And the prince dog!

[sarahnargle.livejournal.com]

My Little Pony rocks, man.

Oldschool only, though; the new ones frighten me.

[bumblebee-1983.livejournal.com]

I would hit Nite Owl. ;) ;)

Silk Spectre looks great too.

And Tiny Rorschach!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

[xuxana.livejournal.com]

John Connor: Holy cute overload, that's a lotta powshes

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

I have the Nite Owl figure on my rapidly expanding, yet too small shelf. He's pretty decent and guards my room quite handily. I'd be almost afraid to get a Silk Spectre for fear of what they'd do when I go to sleep at night...

[bakachibigaki.livejournal.com]

omg that john connor doll is not a doll
IT IS A SMALL HUMAN INCASED IN PLASTIC

[bakachibigaki.livejournal.com]

encased, rather. wtf my english.

[ellerigbee.livejournal.com]

I really want Anna and Elizabeth to make up, if only because it might mean that Anna will be a little more tolerant of Edward Dollen. Y'know, that Cho doll might be good for the boy (yeah, in the span of one line, I decided Cho/Edward make PERFECT doll sense. And also, I really want one of those Harry Potter dolls. Like the Bellatrix is awesome. I'd like sell a kidney if they made a OotP Tonks with the crazy purple/red hair).

P.S.: That John Connor doll is, like, blowing my mind. Seriously. I don't know whether to WANT or be very afraid of his little dollen glare.

[mrs-bruin.livejournal.com]

I was thinking...days after i read this...that if you got the Wolverine, he and Edward could go sing Karaoke together. It might be entertaining for the shelf.

[mercurywater.livejournal.com]

Holy shit! That is the best looking doll EVER. I thought it was a poster for the movie. Damn. And all of those accesories...Wow.
Y'know Wolvy makes me swoon, but he'd probabley just cause more Liz/Anna drama.
Tiny Rorschach's tiny journal made me squee. And I lol'd when everyone yelled "NO!"
Seriously what is up with Uhura's appendages? WAY WAY to thin. Ew.
Also: I really want a Cho doll. (Maybe I'll buy an Eddikens to go w/ her ;)
Much She-ra love. I still love MLP and SS. What's Charmkins?
(I never played Phantom of the Opera with my toys, but I did play 'Barbie meets the Dinosaurs.)

*traumatized by my own brain*

[super-tricie341.livejournal.com]

Dude, I had the weirdest dream last night wherein Anna and Edward worked out their differences by er...jumping each other's bones.

....yea, I dunno either. >.>

Hi and about bringing/ purchasing new dolls...

[starnightmuse.livejournal.com]

hi,
I recently found your journal through the word of a friend who lent me a copy of your "movies in 15 minutes" (hilarious and brilliant work by the way, the twilight one has me in stitches every time"

anyway I briefly read through one post of "the secret life of dolls.." and now I love those post most of all... I love how all the dolls act in character but at the same time flesh out their personality traits outside of their story enviroment...

so I can't help but think of something to say about new members for the doll/figure club...

I agree with the girls- NO WATCHMEN figures!!! i really can't see anything but disaster and misery if they join the group- i predict half the dolls would either be murdered, maimed or raped... OR turn into depressed, pesimistic "life have no meaning" I want to die" persons.
what's with the really negative, horrible, depressing and pessimistic ideas those watchmen have. not to mention I predict they would probably have the worst influence on lyra. or chop her into pieces and feed her to iobek.

if it's apreciation for Moore what drives the desire to purchase buy a V for vendetta figure. V is much more interesting, sociable, nice and not drive people to depression sort of figure.
besides he would probably get along with most of them, as opposed to the watchmen.

so don't let those watchmen brainwash you into buying them. stay strong for the girls!

anyway... with that out of the way....

I support the motion of getting an Harry potter doll to add to the group! (not Cedric- because that would be awkard or Voldemort because that would be chaos*

oh and definitely not Ginny. I can see her having cat fights with anna and Elizabeth and then not making friends with any of them. I can also see her throwing bat-boogey hexes at Edward and Bella (when she gets there)

so yeah, don't recommend getting Ginevra. Hermione maybe.
and i definitely think it would be a good idea to get either a Harry or Ron figure. it would be nice for them to be able to flesh out outside of their stories, interacting with people who are not part of their plot line. i think it would do them good.

two others I can think of are Sirius (because honestly, since JK kicked him out it would be soooooo nice for him to have a vacation and socialize with other) or a Dumbledore doll (the Richard Harris one, because the Gambon one would probably freak Boromir and Edward out)

and if Harry potter fandom is still not good... what about a Narnia doll?
those one have a lot of promise within the doll/figure club...
Lucy would get along with everyone (and probably talk lyra out of her interest with violence)
I can see Susan getting along with all the girls
Edmund and Caspian would have brilliant interaction with Aragorn and boromir. and Aslan would probably get along with Iobek.

that's all i could think off on the subject

nice to meet you and looking forward to future recordings of the secret life of dolls.

[melissa-actress.livejournal.com]

I had a pretty good set of Lady Lovelylocks dolls, too, including the "castle" (it was more like a really complicated gazebo) and the swan boat. (Yes, I did, in fact play Phantom of the Opera with the swan boat and some Silly Putty strategically applied to the prince doll.

Had you lived next door to me as a kid, you'd have SO been my best friend!