Many things to catch up on

[cleolinda]

So. After the fiasco that was his introduction to Eowyn, Faramir's been camping out in his box on the printer table (an upgrade from the kitchen downstairs); Wednesday morning, I decided we'd take pictures. The Ellowynes were looking cold, so I decided to take pictures of them as well before (and after) they changed into winter sweaters. (My grandmother had given me a basic Ellowyne for my birthday, so now I have two. I know Ellowyne One got off on the wrong foot with everyone, but really, I think you should give a pass to a doll with a lime green pimp jacket.) I was also hoping that taking Faramir downstairs with two redheads in kicky skirts might at least provoke some sense into Eowyn, but she spent the entire day on the nightstand either reading or chatting with White Arwen, who has a very soothing presence and, as such, generally remains above the fray. And they have a love of white dresses in common, so they've got that going for them. Maybe they exchanged stain-removal tips. I have no idea.

I won't bore you with all the detail shots, but there are more in the gallery.

We also had a gatecrasher at one point:

"What is that hellbeast?" Bad Cat turned around and glared at him. "GOOD GOD, ONE OF THE CATS OF QUEEN BERÚTHIEL!"

"Honey, that's not..." Bad Cat turned around and glared at me. "Yes. Yes it is."


Back upstairs, scenes from a Shelf:


From the Mouths of Babes

"Why is she so mean to him?"

"She's not being mean, exactly. She's just got... dignity."

"Well I guess dignity's stupid, then. I talk to boys. Unless they're cowards. Or sneaks. Then I punch them in the teeth."

"HUMANS KNOW VERY LITTLE OF DIGNITY. BEARS, HOWEVER, UNDERSTAND ITS IMPORTANCE. MINE, FOR EXAMPLE, WOULD BE IMPROVED IF I HAD ARMOR."


In Which Faramir Is a Little Insecure

"Get the man some pipeweed. He's gonna need it."

Fugagorn loads Faramir up a pipe. I have no idea where they keep this seemingly endless supply of pipes and tobacco ("tobacco"?), and I'm not sure I want to.

"I just don't understand... is she still hung up on..." He kind of looks back and forth between the two Aragorns. "...you?"

Helm's Deep Aragorn holds up his hands. "I just got here, don't look at me."

"We... we did have a problem for a little while."

"Well, that's it, then. I'll never be as impressive as a future King of Gondor."

"Please," says Aragorn, nodding at Fugagorn, the Fug of Men. "If he can get a girl, you can get a girl."

"HEY!"

"But apparently I can't --she wouldn't even shake hands. My brother, now, he was always valiant with the ladies..."

I think we're going to be here a while.


Guilt is a useless emotion

"You know, I feel terrible about all this--it's all my fault, I shouldn't have said anything at all--"

"Gladdy, really, it's okay--"

"And now they're both unhappy--"

"You were just trying to help, I know--"

"I was trying to break the ice!" She laughs, a little wildly. There's a joke about cold shoulders that I just can't bring myself to make.


So Early in the Morning

"I can't BELIEVE that this is all she's talked about for MONTHS--get her a man, ANY man--and he gets here and she TURNS HER NOSE UP, WHAT THE FUCK."

"Well, you don't want to look desperate, I understand that."

"Talk to me about desperate after you've spent six months at sea. You'd be surprised what you can't do with a drunken sailor."


In Which Everyone Is a Little Insecure

"You know, let's try to think positive here. You've got a bow and a really, really nice sword--"

"I also have a really nice sword."

"Yes, Aragorn, you do," I say, turning back to Faramir. Fugagorn looks down sadly at his crooked sword. "And you have a great cloak--"

"Yes, but the hood makes me look like an elf. Like, not a glamorous elf... a Santa elf."

"Well, yes, but that's why we'll just keep it down. It's great to store your extra hands in. And you have those really detailed bracers--"

"I have bracers too, and they have the White Tree on them, and--"

"Yes, Aragorn, YOU DO."

Fugagorn, who does not have any bracers at all, blurts out, "I--I have a patch on my coat! Which is authentically travel-stained!"

"So is mine!"

"Yes, but you can't take yours off!"

"And you have your tunic with all the fancy lacings, Faramir, and the green belt with the silver tippy thing, that's pretty awesome--"

"I have a belt, too--"

"But it doesn't tie and untie--"

"I have chain mail--"

"I HAVE A ROLL OF FELT!"

"WE ARE ALL VERY SPECIAL SNOWFLAKES, OKAY? GOD."


First Things First

"Have you killed anyone?"

"A number of brave men, actually, whose only crime was to fight for those who deceived them."

"Good. I like you."


Catching Up with Old Friends

"So I see you've left the monastery."

"Yeah, the pension plan was pretty bad. I thought you were dead?"

"Nope, feeling pretty good."

"From smush?"

"Not as lethal as you'd think."

"But--burned?"

"Well, I got better."

Everyone else stares at them in complete WTFery.

"Yeah. That's how I feel all the time."


(More from the Secret Life of Dolls.)

Comments

[redcoast.livejournal.com]

is it wrong that I find him hot in doll form?

[the-dala.livejournal.com]

From now on, I'm going to end every argument with "I HAVE A ROLL OF FELT!" And thus I will always win.

Of course Lyra trusts him, heh.

[dragonsblog.livejournal.com]

I LOL'ed. Several times. Awesome.

[dramedy.livejournal.com]

I like that Iorek gets the dignity bit. He's a very proud bear.

Oh Eowyn, why do you have to be so proud?

YAY! :D

[krazycat.livejournal.com]

This stuff is just getting better and better :)

[christwise.livejournal.com]

And I immediately thought of this. (http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=391)

Dead from smush! I LOLed.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee, yeah--I saved that one when they posted it. Faithful Softer World reader right here. : )

[macbethchild.livejournal.com]

I'm absolutely ending all arguments with "I HAVE A ROLL OF FELT!" as well. And cutting short all boring conversations with "We have to get out of here! YOUR VAGINA IS HAUNTED."

Yeah, I still haven't let that one go.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

But if it's YOUR vagina then what good does going anywhere do because it's still WITH you and--

Yeah, I'm not quite over that one, either.

[kudzita.livejournal.com]

Poor Faramir. (And poor Fugagorn, for that matter.) No respect...no respect at all.

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

I have no idea where they keep this seemingly endless supply of pipes and tobacco ("tobacco"?), and I'm not sure I want to.

My guess is that your doll shelf is the next stop on Willie Nelson’s delivery route after Stephen Colbert’s tabletop creche.

[clodia-risa.livejournal.com]

YES. THIS. (That was the best part of the special, IMO.)

[stringertheory.livejournal.com]

"WE ARE ALL VERY SPECIAL SNOWFLAKES, OKAY? GOD."

*snerks like a loon*

Also, I totally want a Faramir now. *shifty eyes*

[faramir-hurin.livejournal.com]

This assumption that I'm plural has begun to worry me...

That figurine looks exactly like the one she has next door. Why would she want a figure of me?

[emmaorgana.livejournal.com]

I love these dolls.

I would hug them, were I not so scared they would attack me for it. :p

[elvensapphire.livejournal.com]

OMG SO MUCH LOVE. For all of them in this post.

"Well, that's it, then. I'll never be as impressive as a future King of Gondor." Poor Faramir. *pats him*

The picspammy comment I left? Was before I saw this post. xD

Ellowyne is beautiful. I love the black ensemble.

And Faramir really ought not feel too bad. He's actually rather handsome (*glances at Fugagorn*), and his entire costume is made of win. She'll come around one of these days.

"Well, I got better."
Everyone else stares at them in complete WTFery.

I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that. <3

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Ellowyne is beautiful. I love the black ensemble.

I believe it's called "Oh My Goth." Never say the Ellowyne people don't have a sense of humor.

[elirrina.livejournal.com]

Yay, an epic Life-of-Dolls post! Faramir catching up with Anna is great.

[corinnethewise.livejournal.com]

I seriously love your "The Secret Life of Dolls" posts. It's like everything I liked to imagine as a kid but way funnier and more creative. And now, much more grown up. It makes my day every time you post one. Which might say more about me than you, but whatever. :)

[havocs-roman.livejournal.com]

I... I feel really sorry for Fugagorn and his lack of fancy everything weaponry now. He's not that... Surely there's something nice, somewhere, that he can borrow...

Why, yes, pity is the way to my heart, why do you ask? His cloak(?) looks like it's a nice shade of blue...! That's a start, right?

Helm's Deep Aragorn is getting too smug for my delicate sensibilities. No matter what SMeyer tells you, Aragorn, looking good isn't *everything* in life.

And yay, Boromir reference! He never gets any love at all. Go, brotherly love!

*sorry, reposted due to too many typos for my sanity*

[clodia-risa.livejournal.com]

I met my first "Edward was a GREAT boyfriend" fangirl two days ago. I don't think that until that very moment that they really existed.

Also - I was thinking about Anna Dollerious and her love of weapons (well, all of them love weapons really) and was wondering if this (http://www.amazon.com/GI-Joe-Hall-Fame-Ultimate/dp/B0012P3U7M/ref=sr_1_18?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1232767855&sr=1-18) would be too modern for her tastes? I'm just curious.

[clodia-risa.livejournal.com]

I don't think that I believed until that very moment that they really existed. I knew that sentence didn't sound right. I'm not normally that solipsistic.

[elendiari22.livejournal.com]

Of course Lyra would get straight to the point. Next thing you know she'll be trying to sell Faramir to Eowyn. "But he's killed people in battle! He's totally awesome!"

There's a joke about cold shoulders that I just can't bring myself to make.

Lol! The whole Feanor debacle, no?

[elisa0984.livejournal.com]

Iorek or the Faramir-Anna exchange? Hard to pick a favorite.

[icecreamprincss.livejournal.com]

Yes! This was brilliant! I especially loved Helm's Deep Aragorn being five years old and Elizabeth's last line. Wonderfully entertaining update. :)

Oh, she's' good, REAL good...

[mythicvictory.livejournal.com]

I've averted my eyes, arrowed down the text on the page, been mildly frightened by the pics, BUT YOU STILL SUCKED ME IN.
I've refreshed this page TOO MANY TIMES today, waiting to see how things were working out between Faramir and his lady. What I really need now is a cool icon background with "Is it time for your medication or mine?"

**Looks around*** So, this is the dark side, huh? Any donuts?

Re: Oh, she's' good, REAL good...

[eiki.livejournal.com]

I've been sucked in too. Not that that's bad or anything. I'm hoping they have those Donets, haven't had those in a long while. They don't sell 'em in Malaysia sadly.

Icon love!

[bright-blonde.livejournal.com]

"I HAVE A ROLL OF FELT!"

*is still on the floor laughing*

[zeroxgirl1201.livejournal.com]

I love the permacapslock Iorek is stuck in. His shouty bear voice was my fave part of the movie.

Your dolls are awesome. The poor insecure menfolk.

[byshinyobjects.livejournal.com]

"Yes, Aragorn, you do,"

How am I alone in loving this??

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

You're not alone, trust me.

[greedyskunk.livejournal.com]

I am just amazed at the level of detail on Faramir! Separate arrows? Miniature things are so cool, why don't I collect dolls? Oh, yeah, they kind of creep me out to have in my room, watching me sleep. (I saw way too many horror movies as a kid.)

Is Iorek trying to lay a guilt trip on you about the armor?

Thanks for posting the link to the Arwen/Eowyn fight. That entry makes me laugh everytime. Sorry Galadriel.

[lyrangalia]

I LOVE THIS.

I feel a little bad that I'm more interested in the personal lives of your dolls than those of my friends. (What? Your dolls' drama include lines like "I HAVE A ROLL OF FELT!" instead of "Why do my parents hate my unemployed boyfriend?")

Can't wait for more Eowyn and Faramir action.