A momentous occasion

[cleolinda]

Re: the Twilight Tonners: MOAR/NEW PICTURES! I'm kind of liking the Bella resemblance here. And then, there's... this horror. Seriously. Oh my God. What.

We're going to pretend we never saw that. All of us, okay? That didn't happen.

So my sister came over to do some artsy-craftsy stuff on Monday, and while she was testing out her ink stamps, the doorbell rang and since I was upstairs, she went to get it. "You have an empty box," she says. Well, she's joking, but it's this gigantic box that's almost featherweight because whatever's inside it is much smaller and lighter than you would expect and I think I'm rambling because I haven't had my Drixoral yet, but the point is, I open the box and it's from an Amazon third-party seller because one of y'all (thank you so much, byshinyobjects!) has sent me a Faramir.

He comes with a sword and a cloak and two sets of hands and A BIG-ASS LONGBOW. He is AWESOME. (Although I'll be damned if I can figure out how to get that sword into his sword-gripping fist. I'll take my own pictures tomorrow, but here's the official ones I grabbed from the Sideshow Toy site until then.) Also, he has very good manners, as he immediately presented his sword and bowed his head.

"I was sent to comfort a fair and valiant lady beset by sorrow?"

"Oh, honey, you have no idea."

So I sit him down for a debriefing ("which will be nothing compared to the one the valiant lady gives you, let me tell you"), and I really didn't mean to, but I'm pretty sure I scared him a little. I mean, not even just about Eowyn--he's going into unknown territory to meet two future kings of Gondor, two Elven princesses, a vampire-hunting gypsy, a cross-dressing pirate queen, and a very small polar bear, among others.

So, you know... with watching the inauguration, and all... I decided I didn't want to deal with it. I mean, God knows how Anna would take it--although, 1) he's got a sword and a bow, which should get him in her good graces to start with, and 2) he's not a sparklepire, so he's got that going for him. But... you know. It would be a big day for Eowyn, Anna's volatile, the shelf's more crowded than ever... I just didn't want to deal with it right then, and I don't think Faramir did either. So I let him camp out in his box downstairs in the kitchen for the night (also, I brought him some pie). He did fine--he's used to roughing it, of course--although I think I heard a tiny mutter of "Boromir wouldn't be scared" at some point.

So, okay. Today. Nothing blows up. That's cool. (I mean, obscenely vast understatement, but you see what I'm getting at.) After dinner, I poke my head through the door and watch everyone on The Shelf do their thing for a while (the two Aragorns are smoking pipes while the Arwens braid each other's hair, Anna and Elizabeth are polishing their boots, Galadriel's reading Lyra a bedtime story), and I don't really know what to say, and then Purple Arwen catches me watching and she knows something's up. She always knows when something's up.

"What are you up to now?"

"What is she up to?"

"I don't know, but I didn't hear her scream. It can't be an Edward."

All I can think to say is, "Can you guys be cool?"

Of course that totally gives the game away.

And what happens next, it's all so fast--the Aragorns exchange wary looks, the girls scramble to their feet, Galadriel waves a hand and Lyra just falls over where she's sitting--

"What? She doesn't need to be awake for this and you know it."

--and Anna and Purple Arwen drag Eowyn away from New Moon and shove her forward. Eowyn's still mentally half in the book--you know, that sleepy-startled look when you're pulled away from reading--and she's not sure what's going on, except that suddenly everyone is looking at her. Like, looking at her.

I nod in a very tiny, pointed way in Galadriel's general direction. Galadriel glides forward: "Welcome, noble prince. I am Galadriel, the Lady of Lórien, Queen of Laurelindórenan, daughter of the House of Finarfin." Aw, hell, y'all, she's bringing out the big titles. I don't even know what some of that shit is. "You are welcome on our Shelf, Faramir, son of Denethor."

Eowyn stops dead. You can actually see the moment where she realizes what's happening and who she's looking at hit the whites of her eyes.

"What's going on?"

"She needs it bad and he's gonna give it to her."

"Oh, man, have I been there."

"And this," says Galadriel, gently pushing her forward, "is Eowyn. She's been waiting."

Faramir gives her a very low, courtly bow.

I don't know what sets Eowyn off, exactly--all he does is reach out to take her hand, but you can just see her shrink away from him. You know how cats draw themselves back without actually going anywhere? It's kind of like that. It's a very... bristly kind of movement.

"I am also a daughter of kings," she says, her chin high, and I can see Purple Arwen facepalming behind her. "I am Éowyn, daughter of Éomund," (oh Lord, y'all, she's got the accents out) "sister-daughter of Théoden King--"

"She's WHAT?"

"His niece, not like his actual sister-daughter--"

"Oh, thank God, this shit was getting weird."

"--Lady of Rohan, conqueror of Pelennor, a shieldmaiden of the battlefield, and I wait for no man."

Fair and strong is her face, her hair a river of gold; she is stern as steel, she is a morning of pale cold spring, she is... walking away? She's walking away? SHE WENT BACK TO READING NEW MOON? WHAT THE HELL?

Faramir's standing there staring at me and I'm staring at him and everyone's staring at everyone else and none of us have any idea what the hell just happened.

*page flip*

"I think... her dignity intervened."

"Well... shit. Didn't see that coming."

So... that could have gone better.

Needless to say, more as this develops.


(More from the Secret Life of Dolls.)

Comments

[glenvorian.livejournal.com]

EOWYN!!!

I certainly wouldn't kick Faramir out of bed! *shakes head at her*

This line made me spit out my Pepsi laughing:
"Oh, thank God, this shit was getting weird."

[megmatthews20.livejournal.com]

Hehehe...you go girl! I'll take him

cheers!!

[glenvorian.livejournal.com]

That Faramir doll is the hottest one I've ever seen! He puts Edward to SHAME.

[borderlineamaze.livejournal.com]

As soon as I saw Edward!doll, m15m's "Jaaaaaames Deeeeeaaaans" moment popped right into my head.

Oh...wait. That didn't happen, huh? Well, this comment didn't happen, either.

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

You just killed me with the tiny 'Boromir wouldn't be scared'. I am dead. Because Boromir and Faramir are my two favourite characters with their brotherly love. Poor Faramir. He has no idea. You need to find him a Wall he can profess his undying love on. You know, with their hair blowing in the wind and entwining black and blonde (or kind of reddish and blonde, I guess), as the world ends.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

What I really want to do is find a way to make her a starry mantle. Like, even if I could find a blue bandanna or something.

[kiandra-fire.livejournal.com]

HOLY CRAP. This is better than Days of Our Lives!

*doesn't know if there's a Team Eowyn, but if there is, I'm on it. Also, I feel for Faramir. But I'm still Team Eowyn. I don't even know what the game is? But yes. Team Eowyn.

[sweet-pessimism.livejournal.com]

As of now, there is totally a Team Eowyn.

[elvensapphire.livejournal.com]

First, I am SO TERRIFIED by the Edward picture.

Wait...what picture? Because that so didn't happen. It was a nightmare. *nod*

SQUEE. Faramir finally arrives on the scene. :D His costume and weapons are awesome . I think Eowyn has been anticipating him for so long, she simply doesn't know what to do with herself. Frankly, I'm proud of her. No Shieldmaiden of Rohan would immediately cave in the presence of a man, even the man she's been waiting for. Give them time to warm up to each other. (Faramir can only love her more for her presence and dignity. What would he have thought had she hurled herself at him? He's quite the proper gent, after all.) And New Moon is rather dangerously addictive.

Fair and strong is her face, her hair a river of gold; she is stern as steel, she is a morning of pale cold spring, she is... walking away? LOL - if I didn't know better, I'd swear that description came straight out of the Tolkien.

He needs to sweep her off the feet whilst standing high on the Shelf. ...And he took her in his arms and kissed her under the sunlit sky, and he cared not that they stood high upon the walls in the sight of many. And many indeed saw them and the light that shone about them as they came down from the walls and went hand in hand to the Houses of Healing.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

LOL - if I didn't know better, I'd swear that description came straight out of the Tolkien.

It did, actually. Check the "King of the Golden Hall" chapter of Two Towers. Actually, I was hoping people would recognize that as a specific allusion--I may need to put an asterisk or something up there and cite it.

Eowyn is out of her molded-plastic mind.

[dakiwiboid.livejournal.com]

Faramir is hot, hot, hot! Take the book away and hide it, and lock them in a closet together or something.

Re: Eowyn is out of her molded-plastic mind.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Would it be any fun if we had a happy ending right away? ; )

[profbutters.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, the Edward doll's hair makes him look like the Green Goblin.

[aki.livejournal.com]

Icon love.

[aestasbeyond.livejournal.com]

I am entertained. Good on you, Eowyn. Not many of us let dignity stop us from jumping some bones.

[eyemage.livejournal.com]

<----IS HOOKED FROM THE BEGINING...( totally didnt see this coming )

added your wishlist to my amazon.

[caerbannog.livejournal.com]

That was pretty awesome, which is a good thing because I'm having hard time unseeing the Edward doll. Eowyn rocks. I can't wait to see further developments.

[aquidis.livejournal.com]

GALADRIEL FTW.

[moriahbard.livejournal.com]

Poor Faramir. Though this IS in keeping with their characters--her pride and his bad luck.

I'll be impressed if she holds out for long, though. I mean, no matter what he does, he'll be there. Being Faramir. Being awesome. He could just sit there contemplating dust motes and he'd still be awesome and hella attractive. And if he walks over and talks to her he'll be all charming and Faramirish and EOWYN HOW CAN YOU STAND IT? I haven't a shieldmaiden's endurance.

[kijikun.livejournal.com]

*dies* I love you.

[glass-radical.livejournal.com]

This has alot less to do with this post (you mentioned shit not blowing up) whichw as fortunate because I was at the Inauguration, with the proletariat on the mall. There was much "HOW MANY SNIPERS CAN WE FIND." discussion.

The answer: 10 from where we were.

[goonie-freak.livejournal.com]

I actually laughed out loud at "His niece, not like his actual sister-daughter--"

I woke up the baby...

but it was worth it...

[kittenkatt.livejournal.com]

Give her time; she's a sensitive doll. "Her eyes gray as the seas were hard and fell,and yet tears were on her cheek." and all. Even if he *is* made of awesome, Faramir is totally the last-chance consolation prize... and she's the freaking White Lady of Rohan. These things take time. And possibly dioramas.

[stellans.livejournal.com]

oh yes! definitely dioramas are called for!

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

TEH SUSPENSE!
I love it.

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, what the hell? Eowyn? She's been brainwashed, I tell you! Eowyn, nobody from the Twilight universe is going to have sex with you. Their creator won't allow it. Dignity-shmignity, I say.

And I'm sorry, I can't pretend that I didn't just see a picture of the Edward doll wearing Urkel pants.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

The New Moon thing is a bit of a red herring--it's more that she just went back to what she was doing before. ; )

[glass-radical.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised that Anna didn't find him awfully familiar looking.

[aka-paloma.livejournal.com]

OMG That's right! LOL!

[sugarcages.livejournal.com]

oh, poor Lyra! WON'T ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN??

I am interested with the polar bear's point of view.

[aki.livejournal.com]

Lost is back. The polar bear is unavailable for comment. He's at his other job.

[sweet-pessimism.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. Don't tell me that Eowyn has been ruined by Edward! No! Intervention! Get the girls together!

[ailaes.livejournal.com]

Oh dear.

I'm almost worried about his reaction after she finishes the book and/or series and comes to her senses. Then again, she may be so distraught over the Jacob/Renesmee thing she sits in the corner, rocking back and forth. This may not end well, is all I'm saying.


and I can see Purple Arwen facepalming behind her.

That shit cracked me up right there.

[faramir-hurin.livejournal.com]

I do not even know what to say--what injury have I done her?

Not that reading a book is a bad thing... I simply was not expecting it.

bell_witch, who has one of the special edition Faramirs. They are so cool. He's with my Tyr Anasazi and Yuri dolls on my dresser. I RP all three.

[roseredhoofbeat.livejournal.com]

THEY MAKE A TYR ANASAZI DOLL?!?!

[emoui.livejournal.com]

Unmentionable horro made me laugh out loud - seriously, is the jacket going on or off? Apparently the boy can't dress himself.

The original Eowyn & Faramir didn't hit it off right away either.