Uneasy like Sunday morning

[cleolinda]

Okay, so. I ended up going to bed early last night because in the course of writing I kept thinking things like BLAH BLAH AND THEN STUFF HAPPENED I DON'T CARE, which is a sure sign that I'm tired. And then I got up a couple of hours later for a drink of water and worked some more. And then I really went to sleep. The problem is that--well, I always feel performance anxiety, but after MSNBC and io9, it's through the roof. And you know, this whole idea that I knew I was going to do this from the moment I saw the trailer in May, and so it's like some kind of hellish Lost promo voiceover where it's like THE LAST SIX MONTHS... HAVE BEEN LEADING UP... TO THIS MOMENT, and then, like, a polar bear explodes or something.

It's days like these when I understand why writers start drinking. I'm not even being sarcastic--a little vodka in the morning orange juice, that might take the edge off, right? Get just toasted enough to not feel anxious anymore? Yeah. I'm staging a pre-emptive self-intervention now. No Woodchuck until after I finish. And basically at this point I'm just gonna sit here and take my time, as much time as it takes, just try to stay loose with it, and turn off all the "WHY DIDN'T YOU INCLUDE MY FAVORITE PART??" voices in my head.

The other thing I usually do is--well, you can tell how anxious I am by the relative silliness of the music I'm playing. I think it's time to bring out the big guns again:

It was either this or Rick-rolling myself. Don't think I won't do it, either.


ETA: Okay, it's going pretty well. I'm kind of at that point where I have more scenes written than I have unwritten, and I'm trying to go a little more Van Helsing with it (that is, not putting in every tiny detail) and it seems to be working out okay. I hate it, but I'm having to leave out most of Charlie and the kids because they were intentionally funny, and you know how little you can do with that.

Comments

[shocolate.livejournal.com]

I don't know who they are, but they have ridiculously cheesy hair and dance routines!

[maliekai.livejournal.com]

You... don't know who the New Kids on the Block are?

*weeps for the new generation*

[sweetsyren.livejournal.com]

Dear god teenage bedroom dancing flashback!

*goes to find the brain bleach*

[bella-stella78.livejournal.com]

Friends don't let friends Rick-roll themselves. Hang in there, girl.
Oh, and thanks for sending me the Growing Up Cullen link. I can't believe I hadn't read that before!

[greenfairyels.livejournal.com]

99% of the world will love what you write as it will be made of win - that's why we're here and we know you're fab - and the other 1% are those f*ckwits who complain about everything they can because that's the eejits they are.


Now take a deep breath and step away from the Astley....

dire consequences

[suzeclues12.livejournal.com]

WORD!!!

[reynardine.livejournal.com]

then, like, a polar bear explodes or something.

OMGWTFPOLARBEAR!!!

Because it had to be said. ;-D You've done this kind of thing many times before and it's been great. Don't fret yourself none.

[meleth.livejournal.com]

OMGWTFPANSERBJOERNE!

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

I've noticed that, since I was a teenager, if I decide to do something (like read a book or write something), I'm excited about it until someone else expects me to do it. At that point I lose all interest. I'm not really sure why that is. I think you're right on about the drinking, though.

Hehehe it's scary how much I love that NKOTB video.

[indykat001.livejournal.com]

Totally! It wasn't until I signed up for NaNoWriMo that I've had writers block this bad. And the story I had all lined up just went *poof*! as you can tell from my word count (still at a big ol' zero). Nevermind writing it down, it just went away, far away... I feel like posting "It was a dark and stormy night" soon, just so some words get out there, heh heh! I'm beginning to understand why some writers squirrel themselves away at home and don't come out for long periods of time, so they don't have to think about who is out there, waiting for their stuff...

But hang in there, Cleo! If it's any consolation, I haven't read your Twilight stuff and prolly won't have time to until you are long since finished... :D

[mitchy.livejournal.com]

Woodchuck as in Woodchuck Cider? I'm very partial to the Granny Smith variety. Damn, wish it was available in the UK :P

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

WOODCHUUUUCK! See, I actually prefer Woodchuck Amber. Don't really like green apples, for some reason. This is what I drink instead of beer, because I am lame.

[cosmob.livejournal.com]

Hey, there ain't nothin' wrong with Rick-rolling yourself. And singing along as loudly as the time of day will allow.

*starts humming, "I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling, gotta make you understand..."*

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

See, I love that song unironically and have since I was a kid, so Rick-rolling almost ruined it for me--because I was hearing it too often. You know, the way you get sick of something you constantly hear on the radio.

[word-herder.livejournal.com]

Aw, don't fret about it! Newbies won't know they're waiting for, right? And your regulars are patient readers. So take your time.

Here, go listen to some crazy-awesome music that I can't get out of my head: Femme l'a Dit' (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=97089876) (scroll down a little, it's on the left). Made me wish I'd grown up Cajun in Louisiana.

[spidey-88.livejournal.com]

Best. Music Video. Ever.

[flaxenescapee.livejournal.com]

I can't stomach the entire video. How, Cleo, how? So glad I wasn't alive for that.

Ok, enough ragging on your music, you could write actual gibberish and we'd love it. Like, seriously, you could come out with, "And then toaster muffin dandelion said "Alakazaam!" and it was fruit loops!" and we'd find it genius.


This has nothing to do with the fact that after reading SMeyer, everything is genius.

[skeptiik.livejournal.com]

i agree with that. i also LOVE your icon.

[jai.livejournal.com]

I think I speak for all those who've stalked awhile when I say that we will like it pretty much no matter what and won't cry about what is or is not there. For pete's sake, people can grasp that a lot needs to be cut from a movie that's made from a book, so hopefully they can grasp that even more would have to be cut from the movie to make a workable movie in 15 minutes. That's sortof the point, I thought!

Don't worry if there are haters...there are always haters, and the people who matter won't be disappointed, as others have said!

[distress-bacon.livejournal.com]

My icon totally approves of that video. \m/

Thank you for doing the m15m for <i>Twilight</i>!

[elysian-dreams.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you're getting super nervous about this, but just because people love critiquing the movies and the books, I don't think they're going to turn that on you (since, you know, people actually like your writing already)

I don't know if this helps, but I've read all your m15m's and loved them, and I've never once had a critique, probably since I've been too busy lol-ing about my book/computer. I bought the book when it came out and I just realized I think I need to buy another one so my little collector's soul will be happy with having a pristine copy, because I carry the book around so much and reread it so often I'm actually starting to wear out the real cover (I took the dustjacket off when I got it, to protect it)

Also, it would be impossible to disappoint, since there's so much lolarious material in the movie that you can't go wrong even if you tried. :)

OMGWTFPOLARBEAR?!?!

[brermatt.livejournal.com]

I think your writing is awesome. I began reading your LJ for the Lost related stuff, and have loved everything else I've read too.

Try not to worry about the publicity. You just keep doing what you do, and all will be golden! Write what you want to write, not what you think other people want you to write.

[misssara11.livejournal.com]

I'm all for your creativity flowing, so I'm attempting to help.

I remember reading, not that long ago, that "Your Love" by The Outfield is one of your favoritist (it's totally a word) songs ever but that Katy Perry, as is her want, tainted.

Well, may I introduce you to the world of Mike Relm? He does fantastic mash-ups and has spent the past couple of years opening for the Blue Man Group's MegaStar tour (best concert ever, btw). Look him up on YouTube (the Office Space one never fails to kill). But the relevant one is this (https://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=batch_download&batch_id=TTZrck80eDNWRDgwTVE9PQ), The Outfield vs. NWA. It's been in constant rotation on my iPod for almost a year now. Enjoy!

[acaciakitty.livejournal.com]

Hey hey hey now... There is ALWAYS time for cider! I don't care. I'll drink cider for breakfast. Okay, I'm kidding... but still. I do not enjoy the taste of beer, so I am with you on loving some Woodchuck. I keep a case of cider in the fridge for afternoons when I get home from a stressful day at school and need to take the edge off. If you like things super sweet, try to find Ace brand Pear cider. OMG it is awesome.

And don't be stressed. We love you no matter what you do and are thankful you work so hard to make everyone smile. Even in writing a journal entry about how anxious you feel, you made me "lol" with the exploding polar bear bit.

[fallia.livejournal.com]

I kind of cannot believe, like, I'm in awe, that I thought this video was amazing back in the day. And that they were amazing. Well, they are, but not in the same sense of the word I believed them to be back then. *pats younger self*

And man, I can totally imagine the being fretful. Really, I think a thorough Rick-rolling would do you some good. Don't deny yourself!

[jubilantia.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen the movie yet, but for your nervousness' sake I wish there weren't all the hype so it could be as easy as Phantom was for you. Still, even if it were remotely possible for this piece to be horrible... we'd love you anyway.

[trinastar.livejournal.com]

I could actually see that promo. Polarbear bursting out with a pack of wolves to chase down the logo for Twilight in 15 minuts. *giggles* Now I'm going to have that image in mind at work. I should be worried.

I have this picture in my mind right now of you saying to voices, 'If y'all don't shut up and buckle your seatbelts I'm going to bypass the Twilight and go straight to Dark Knight. And there's less pressure with the Dark Knight.' *cuddles Cleo* Take frequent peace breaks to enjoy the smell of the woodchuck.

[reebchan.livejournal.com]

Take your time with the recap -- we won't enjoy it unless you enjoy writing it!

Also, I had never seen that before. It is like the Ur-boy band video. It explains so much of pop culture, merely be existing...I fear it, but I also love it. Somehow.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

STOP IT! STOP BEING NERVOUS! I WILL KEEP SHOUTING UNTIL YOU CALMMMMMM DOWNNNNNNNNNN!

I recommend "I Can Dream About You" for really stupid pop dancing purposes. Also the collected works of ABC.

[elizardbits.livejournal.com]

re: drowning ones anxieties in cider - I wholeheartedly endorse and approve of this product and/or service. Do take care not to come out looking like Cider Woman from Viz, though. Hee.

[irysangel.livejournal.com]

Don't be nervous! Just be yourself. Even your worst day is much much better than that person on my LJ that is telling us all the personal deets of her anatomy malfunctions. ;)

And isn't it ironic that Donnie Wahlberg and RPattz have the same hair, two decades apart?

[profbutters.livejournal.com]

Just don't decide to "adapt" that freeze ray, ok? Be nice to yourself and give yourself some breaks. And then dance like the world's not watching. Cheesy but true.