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[cleolinda]

You know how I felt so mellow the other day? I think I know what did it: I had cranked up my speakers that afternoon and belted out embarrassing pop songs as loud as I could all afternoon. In retrospect--I wonder if it was like primal scream therapy or something?

I don't know. I was kind of having a bad yesterday (like you couldn't tell). I had to wait around all morning for the furnace guy (yes, another appliance has broken down), and then he got here and literally walked around and around the house checking vents and sensors for an hour and a half (I counted him making something like 26 or 27 circuits around the whole thing. I offered to help but he waved me back down), and then it cost us $121, because we have so much money right now to spend on yet another goddamn thing going wrong. And for some reason I felt like crying most of the day for no reason at all. And I finally just skipped the regular linkspam last night. So. Primal sing therapy it is.

Gonna scale back on the Twi-spam for at least a day or so, because I feel like I'm being hit with a sudden depressive episode. It's so sudden and acute that I don't think it'll last very long--hell, it could just be a normal hormonal dip--but I'm having a hard time dealing with even the most mundane tasks at the moment. I think part of it may be that TWILIGHT IS FINALLY HERE OMG, and I know that a lot of people are waiting around--because they have told me so; I'm really not so egotistical as to just assume it--for me to see the movie and run it through the Cleomatic 3000, and you know, every time I sit down to write something big like this, I'm not sure I can pull it off this time. It's one thing when I just write something on a whim and I don't expect people to care or like it; it's terrifying when I know people are expecting it. A lot of times I feel like people are never satisfied--they want more or they want better or they wanted me to do something else instead. I'm not a machine, you guys. The expectations scare me sometimes.

So, quickly: Fandom Lounge has an updated list of movie reviews, with more linked in the comments. Also: Twilight Movie Bingo. Oh, and the Today Show this morning: "We're going outside now?"

I cannot for the life of me find the original comments about this, so re: the Etsy package, it came! Thank you so much!

Oh, and by the way, if you added me on Facebook--I usually wait and add people back in batches, so everyone should be added now. (I'm not sure what's with all the welcome posts--I've been on Facebook for a pretty long time now.)

(And thanks for having such a civil discussion yesterday, I mean it. I like that when people disagree over here, they can do it in a friendly fashion.)

(Shit, I forgot to watch South Park last night. I guess I'll catch it online.)

Comments

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

Hey, good luck with the primal sing therapy.

I think everyone’s feelings re: the impending Dazzledammerung are conveyed by the artwork at the bottom of this io9.com article (http://io9.com/5093718/now-that-he-owns-the-souls-of-our-tweens-pattinson-wants-to-be-the-doctor).

[dreamingreader.livejournal.com]

I am definitely going to wander by my local movie theater tonight, camera in hand. I feel like this is a historical moment that is best captured digitally :)

And feel better!

[kittenscurious.livejournal.com]

Cleo, please don't feel like you are our personal performing monkey. We love anything you write. Our expectations are really not that high, or maybe you are just really awesome, or something.

Don't let it stress you, is what I'm saying. You'll do the recap when you get to it, and it'll be great, even if you don't really think it is. :)

Don't worry, we like you.

[majormeg7.livejournal.com]

Can you just pin some sequins on your Dracula movie recap and call it a day?

[serenity-winner.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you're feeling so shitty. :(

I want you to know that you are really funny, and you always make me laugh, and while I feel like I can always count on you to bring the lulz, I really don't feel like you're obligated to do so zomg 24/7 and I totally understand that sometimes shit just doesn't go right. You don't have to be the Lulzomatic 3000, we like you no matter what. :)

I really hope things start looking up, and I hope your pop music therapy helped. It usual does for me. :)

[bluesteelstars.livejournal.com]

I hope that seeing the movie this weekend will make you feel better. :)

And, the South Park ep was meh.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

I'm not a machine, you guys.
Not even half-machine?

Expectations are scary. They can be totally crippling. Most of mine are internal. I feel like every new short story I write has to be amaaaaaazing or what's the point, it's not like I have an unlimited life span here, I need to get awesome NOW. Which is why I haven't started another one this year.

[dramedy.livejournal.com]

I just discovered my brother is going to the opening night. WEIRDNESS.

also, I was out last night and totally overheard this one chick who was all "I'm Team Jacob *giggle* Twilight is the best series ever!" *facepalm* I did not engage her in conversation.

anyway, I'm not expecting anything from you, honestly. you could say, "To hell with it." and I'd TOTALLY be okay with that. You do what you want, no pressure :) :)

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

Expectations are like deadlines -- they're so much more refreshing when you abandon them altogether. You're not beholden to your audience, particularly not one that pays as shitty as we do. Fret not about linkspam nor Twispam.

Your audience that's worth caring about is capable of rolling with whatever tweaks you need to make to your routine. Don't fret none.

[hulamoth.livejournal.com]

This.

[last-archangel.livejournal.com]

I know you're basically reporting only Sparkle Motion right now, but you should know that an Underworld poster and some new stills (http://www.shocktillyoudrop.com/news/topnews.php?id=8512) were released.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm cutting back on Twilight, as I just said in the entry. I know about the Underworld poster. I have it marked in Google Reader for when I catch up on regular spam tonight.

[coneycat.livejournal.com]

Hang in there. Those attacks of the blues are nothing to sneeze at, and when they hit sometimes it's all you can do to make sure you've got your panties on. Or whatever.

Hope you're feeling better soon, I do sort of know how debilitating those bad cycles can be.

[diddakoi.livejournal.com]

Considering the constant breakage of things around the Jones household, have you considered freelancing? I do a little writing on the side for my alma mater's magazine, and it's a good way to get an extra $100 every now and then. Mostly I write profiles of successful alumni, though sometimes they assign me things about the science program.

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

Primal scream therapy is my favorite. Sometimes just getting in my car and cranking the right songs and singing until I'm hoarse makes me feel like I can actually relax.

Heaven forbid that we would treat you like our sad dancing monkey (we are not Twilight fangirls...at least I don't think we are). No pressure.

Kinda creepy thing: I read another interview with Catherine Hardwicke yesterday and she mentioned that some reporter asked her to bite him, and she was like "sure why not" and bit him. So even if RPattz doesn't feel like getting that close, the fearless leader will be happy to oblige.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

That's kind of awesome. I hope she bit him hard.

[unicornluvr.livejournal.com]

I may have come for the Twilight recaps (via Jezebel), but I stay for all of the awesome that you exude, Miss Cleo.

Now I need to talk myself into finishing this research paper, really. You make graduate school so much easier to bear : )

Etsy

[elisa0984.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it made it!

Re: Etsy

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Again, thank you so much!

[profbutters.livejournal.com]

I hope the South Park episode cheers you up. I watched it twice. Having workmen in always bums me out, too. The cats are scared of them and it feels a bit like an invasion (though there are exceptions) and it feels as if they will never finish and go home.

I was surprised to see that the LA Times didn't publish a review today. In the past, if there was a midnight showing, they seemed to think it was kosher to print the review the previous AM. I actually wrote to them about publishing the review for *Order of the Phoenix* on Tuesday instead of Wednesday. Maybe they heard from enough cranks like me? Instead, they had a lengthy interview with Catherine Hardwicke, with a bit of Kristen Stewart (and RPattz gagging and looking dorky in a harness.)

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

*pets and chocolate*

I'm a latecomer to the sparkledammerung and finally decided to actually read them in preparation for some blog entries on how awful they really are. Your recaps make them much easier to bear.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I think the thing I hate the most is when you tell somebody you're enjoying a fine ole depressive episode, and they reply (in all their well-meaning punchworthiness), "Oh? What are you depressed about?" Well, gee, now I'm depressed that I'm not legally allowed to kill you.

I don't know why, I just felt the need to mention that.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee, yes. My family has finally come to understand that I'm never depressed *about* anything, because that is the point of it for me, that it's a chemical thing.

[bigeyedrabbit.livejournal.com]

I feel like I'm being hit with a sudden depressive episode. It's so sudden and acute that I don't think it'll last very long--hell, it could just be a normal hormonal dip--but I'm having a hard time dealing with even the most mundane tasks at the moment

I'm so, so sorry to hear that, lady. I've been sucker-punched by my anxiety disorder lately, so I can sympathize.

And although it feels kind of presumptuous to be a stranger telling you this, I'm still gonna say, Take care of you first. You aren't responsible for entertaining us folks in LJ-land 24/7.

[oh-so-sparkly.livejournal.com]

Turn off the interwebz, walk away, and do something fun. It's amazing how much less important the masses are when you can't see or hear them. Also, whatever point I was trying to make the other day did not quite get there, and I'm sorry for any ill effect.

Hope your mood brightens soon.

[mumford519.livejournal.com]

Cher, last week I got so stressed I crawled under my desk and cried and then one of my employees came in and caught me. But, sometimes, you have to just let it out(of course your way is less humiliating).

Also I will join in the cheers of your awesomeness and even if you decided not to do a recap I wouldn't care cause it's okay and it's just a movie (albeit one with sparkling but still)

[clodia-risa.livejournal.com]

First: Hugs and Feel Better and don't stress too much!

Second: Whether or not you were having a bad day, you were completely justified in what you said yesterday. A person's looks have absolutely nothing to do with their talent or their crazy or anything else, and it's harmful to rip on someone's looks just because you don't like them. It's also petty, stupid, and weakens any other argument you may have.

You're dealing with all this way better than I would be able to. You're doing great.

[acaciakitty.livejournal.com]

Aw, it makes me sad when you say you feel all crushed by our expectations. I've never thought of you as some performing monkey. I love love love what you do and never want you to feel obligated to produce anything. Thanks for the lulz and snark and helpful/interesting info you bring us, free of charge.

As long as we're having "pop songs we should not like but secretly do" therapy, I'm dedicating a Wilson Phillips "Hold On" to you. ^_^

[spacetomatoes.livejournal.com]

While we're doing dedications, I'm throwing out "Total Eclipse of the Heart." It never fails to make me feel like I ROCK HARD CORE.

[soleta-nf.livejournal.com]

I'm not a machine, you guys. The expectations scare me sometimes.

Expectations terrify me, too. *hugs*

[magicloaf.livejournal.com]

I recommend bubble bath therapy as a follow up to primal scream therapy. And then there's chocolate therapy. And pet therapy... And fuzzycomfypj therapy......

Well, you get the idea.

Honestly, I can't keep up with reading all the Twi-spam anyway, so take a break from all the spammage and enjoy just being a girl for a bit. :)