Night terrors

[cleolinda]

So a lot of times I get up in the middle of the night for a run to the bathroom, and inevitably I sit down and check my email on the way back to bed. Sometimes I never get back to bed, quite honestly. I think this may be one of those times.

harveypenguin: "You've seen this, right? It is relevant to your interests."

"JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS THAT!"

"It looked a lot better in the picture."

"JESUS CHRIST--EOWYN, JESUS. Holla first next time or something."

Eowyn settles down onto my shoulder. "It's not exactly what I was hoping for, but..."

"Are you serious? Oh, honey, you've got to have some standards."

Eowyn looks at me, and then she cuts her eyes over to The Shelf where Fugagorn and his plastic stubble are snoring lightly, and then she looks at me again. Significantly.

"Oh, BURN! What was that!"

"I'm just telling you the truth."

"Well... point taken. But I'm not buying this one. That shit is terrifying."

"But... he's wearing his meadow-sparkling outfit and everything..."

"Eowyn, I'm a little disturbed that you've paid that kind of attention."

"Oh, wow, I'm sorry, are we judging each other now? Because if you want to go there--"

"What's going on?"

"Oh, now look what you've done. If y'all wake up the two Arwens, I swear--"

"That dude is coming to eat our brains, I hope you know that."

"I'm saying."

"Just as soon as he touches up his lipstick."

"ANNA, COME ON! Back me up here!"

"Well, he doesn't have any swords and he doesn't have any guns, so you know my feelings on the subject."

"Don't you ever get lonely? At all?"

An inscrutable look passes over Anna's face, and for a moment, I kind of wonder.

"Not that lonely," she says. "Never that lonely. Not so lonely that I wanna go to sleep and have THAT lurking over me when I wake up. And you know he'll, like, imprint on one of us or some shit--knowing your luck, E, he'll imprint on Cleo, and he'll just sit on her pillow all night, rocking back and forth."

And we all shudder together. It's a nice feeling, sisterly solidarity.


(More from the Secret Life of Dolls.)

ETA: I scared myself a little making this. (Feel free to use it, of course.)

Comments

[wtfbrain.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, I kinda want one of those now... /o\

[wildcatlizzie.livejournal.com]

It was very difficult to explain to the RA I'm talking to as to why I just burst out into hysterical laughter.

[gorgeousnerd]

And now I'm not sorry that I've been having sleeping problems. *g*

[salamandersam.livejournal.com]

I see they've decided to emphasize the creepy and stalky elements of Edward by giving him an expression that says "I WILL CUT YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP!"

[sweetsyren.livejournal.com]

Icon!love

Is he related to the Tiemcock at all?

[thelovely2.livejournal.com]

Yay, I've missed those girls! Well, Anna not so much, but you know what I mean :D
That doll is almost as creepy as Edward Cullen himself. But I suppose with Eowyn and Anna it's just a question of manparts vs. guns.

[more-dragoncelt.livejournal.com]

Well, THAT cinches it. I have decided that if I ever see a sparkly vampire while I live out in Utah, he's getting a face fulla mace and getting a knee to his sparklecock. Brrrr...

[ana-beachcombe.livejournal.com]

Hey, it's me. You know - Katie? Girl who emailed you recently?

I'm amazed you haven't posted about the little story I told you - I thought everyone here would want to know! It's just too cool to keep to yourself, man.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, hey!

Oh, if you want me to tell people, sure, that's cool. I just tend to assume that if people tell me something by email, they don't want anyone else to know. : )

[angelene.livejournal.com]

But isn't imprinting a werewolf-only feature, so to speak? Is it bad that I know that? Is it worse that I would feel the need to point it out in a comment? (Oh, God). *shudders a little*

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, it is. I'm not saying Anna's using the word correctly. : )

[dhaunea.livejournal.com]

[quietly hysterical gurgling] Oh Eowyn.

Damn.

[ohemgeeitsfishy.livejournal.com]

Damn, I was totally gonna buy the Edward Doll [as long as it looked like R.Pattz]....until I saw it.

[elvensapphire.livejournal.com]

I am having this horrible mix of chronic insomnia, plus a really mean virus, plus not being able to tear myself away from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (omgitissogoodwhyhaveineverwatcheditbefore?!?!), and I consider the hilarity of this my payoff for staying awake. He is SO frightening. *hides under covers* He is zombie!armedwithWD40!fugtastic!Edward. Just...ew.

I'm glad (most of?) your ladies have standards. That thing does not belong anywhere near them. Mine are all shrieking in horror, and then giggling, because the Secret Life is awesome. ;)

[celticangel76.livejournal.com]

You just now got into Buffy. *pets you* Welcome to the delirium. You shall be addicted for life. Make sure you watch the Angel spin off too. Oh and Firefly. Oh and, you know, anything created by Joss Whedon...

*goes to pray at her Whedon shrine*

[wirrrn.livejournal.com]

This is the kind of doll that you'll wake up to at 4am tying you to your bed with a jump rope and transferring its soul into your body *g*

[venusad.livejournal.com]

Being the figure snob that I am, I will happily point out that that's 9.99 pounds. Wouldn't that be somewhere around 30 bucks with shipping and everything?

I'm sorry, but obviously jointed creepy looking figures just are not worth that. *slinks back and quietly pets her 13 inch Hayabusa statue, who cost just about that much*


Also....
http://www.starstore.com/acatalog/spike-angel-deluxe-l.jpg

I sense an oncoming battle for most hideous brooding vampire action figure.

[glass-radical.livejournal.com]

oh wow. Making action figures must be really really hard because every time I see a Spike or Angel one, it is ungodly

[batwrangler.livejournal.com]

Judging from the visible jointing and pastede molded-on clothes, that's probably a 7-inch figure (total height -- get your collective mind out of the gutter) and so not at all on the same ... level as your other dolls. :)

[sturmclan.livejournal.com]

I just love you. That is all. Hysterical.

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

Your son is adorable. :D

Are those photos recent, or is he much older, now?

[greyduck.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you for making my morning! This was delightful. (And that Edward is so wrong.)

Here's a tangent that just sprung from my not-fully-awake brain: I'm certain that the great Edwards of anime could kick Mr. Cullen's sparkly ass. "O-chibi-chan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Elric)," for instance. Hell, the most excellent, loopy, radical (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radical_Edward#Edward_Wong_Hau_Pepelu_Tivrusky_IV) one could do it. Or at least be more fun to hang around with...

Hmm. Maybe I should go back to bed. *wry grin*

[fxchip.livejournal.com]

Prince Edward Chris von Muir of Damcyan might even do it. :)

[elizardbits.livejournal.com]

Oh dear god that thing is ghastly. AND WHY ISN'T IT SPARKLING, DAMMIT? (The lack of any noticeable sparkle in the trailer is also extremely vexing to me.)

WWHHHAAA?

[jharrison19.livejournal.com]

aw, man, i was all excited. i dont have any dolls, and i was tempted to start with that one but... JEEZ. was there a general memo sent out to twilight's advertising department saying that all portrayals of edward should be "angry, hungry and especially stalkerly"?

also, cleo, i have a question. did you say "holy-crow" before or after reading twilight, because it has always seemed like the strangest mormon substitute for holy-shit. whenever bella said it i could not help giggling uncontrollably....

Re: WWHHHAAA?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee, yeah, I did say "Holy crow" before Twilight. For years, in fact. I think I picked it up from my aunt. I'm pretty much never going to say something like "Gosh" (unless I'm around children), but every now and then I throw in different versions of curse words just for some variety. In other words, I don't say "fricking" because I don't want to say "fucking"; I say it because it sounded better in that specific sentence, and I might even use both words in the same paragraph.

[r0ck3tsci3ntist.livejournal.com]

Oh Lord! Poor Rob, first that poster and now this. I feel your pain dude.

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

He and Viggo can cry on each other's shoulder about their fugly dollselves.

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

My god that is an angry doll.

"YOU KNOW BELLA IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF WHEN YOU START TRYING TO THINK FOR YOURSELF." *REMOVES ENGINE FROM TRUCK* "I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU."

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

THAT ISNT A WORD EMMETT
TAKE IT OFF THE BOARD
NO ONE IS RESPECTING THE GAME
I AM GOING TO MY ROOM, GOODDAY, ALL OF YOU

~*flounce*~

[srslysilly.livejournal.com]

LOL
when i first saw that doll i immediately thought about you!

btw, i just want to say that i love your LJ so much (first time writing a comment here)! you bring so much lulz to my life! reading it always makes my days better :)
(do i seem like a stupid fangirl? lol)

oh and can i use that icon?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Of course! I'll add a note to that effect. : )

[caersidi.livejournal.com]

So a lot of times I get up in the middle of the night for a run to the bathroom, and inevitably I sit down and check my email on the way back to bed. Sometimes I never get back to bed, quite honestly

I'm exactly the same though if I wake up too early I force myself back to bed because I know I can get distracted way too easy. I usually will wake up again later and be able to indulge my habit.

[elysian-dreams.livejournal.com]

That expression sort of perfectly captures the whole "108 year old frustrated virgin who hates himself" thing that RPattz was talking about before.

And tiny doll rocking chairs rocking all night making tiny creaking noises. That mental image is so creepy I think I scared myself a little there. *shudder*

[edda.livejournal.com]

That doll is going to crawl out of the screen and EAT MY SOUL.

But I hear he is defeated by loud laughter. In which case, I'll be fine.

[sabra-n.livejournal.com]

Like a Boggart? Yes, that's reassuring.

HUH?

[jharrison19.livejournal.com]

has anyone seen this picture?
http://s48.photobucket.com/albums/f234/isuckbad/?action=view¤t=normal_newstill17.jpg
is emmett holding EGGS? WHYYY??

Re: HUH?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Here, I have a larger version:

http://pics.livejournal.com/cleolinda/pic/000b0yyf/g17

... Huh.