Early 'spam, then I'm calling it a day

[cleolinda]

So I finally caught up and watched the two episodes of True Blood and I kind of loved it. Like, not even ironically--genuinely loved it although there was kind of some snarky love in there as well. Put on some pants, Anna Paquin. Part of me wants to write up an in-depth thing about it, and part of me, mostly the part centered around my sinuses, still feels like hell. (Bill the Mysteriously Hot, Hotly Mysterious Vampire tried to dazzle "glamour" Sookie, y'all! And then it didn't even work! I nearly died.) And tomorrow is a Very Special Day, so I'm saving up my posting strength for that.

Linkspam!

New Mozart piece found in French library (also: what it would sound like as a story on The Onion).

Dewey the library cat is back on the shelves.

Freaky, fleshy concept toy that you can pierce. Uh.

New 'Sex and the City' and 'Hitchhiker's Guide' books: Which sounds worse?

Do You Really Want Science Fiction Books To Be More Literary? Which pretty much sums up my problems with "literary" fiction and why I don't read much of it. Key point: "MFA programs are exploding with people who have been drilled to create prose bonsai." YES. I HAVE BEEN THERE. Workshops, God bless them, are (or were, five years ago) to the point where I shopped the first two chapters of Black Ribbon and people actually said, "Wow, this has a plot, but it's actually pretty good."

I'll just let that soak in for a moment.

Also:

5) Tell us more about the teacup. It's chipped on one side, but somehow the friction from all those fingernails holding it steady has worn it down. So the chipped area feels almost polished, as if the cup-maker chipped it herself, and then glazed it. There's a stain on its base that no amount of scrubbing with the wiry brush is ever equal to removing. It has a pattern of flowers and baby's breath, which you haven't noticed in years.

YES, THIS. It's good to include piercingly specific, unexpected details to make your reader feel like s/he's there inside the story. But you know what? A little of that goes a long, long way, and I've spent the last several years trying to train myself to stop writing like that.

Vanity Fair: Literature Wields No Power Today (MAYBE IT WOULD IF PEOPLE WOULD STOP DESCRIBING TEACUPS TO DEATH); Book Publishing Is SO Dying, Insists Reader!; It’s Only The End of Rose-Colored Glasses.

Who Should Be Slashed? "If 33 percent of all publishing activity on the Internets revolves around fan fiction, why should we fight it?" Perhaps more to the point, as John Scalzi (somewhere... I'm pretty sure?) once noted, fan fiction is a sign of a healthy fanbase, and pretty much how you know you've hit the big time, or at least the comfortably medium time. I mean, I think there does need to be some fandom etiquette involved (don't send your Brokeback Mountain porn to Annie Proulx), but as long as the creator doesn't have to see it (thereby protecting herself legally) and no one's making a profit, why not let people express their enthusiasm and generate more?

Anyway.

What are the all-time best fake-band names?

HBO Renews 'True Blood.' Woohoo! Now renew Anna Paquin some pants. Or at least renew her skirts a bit.

We Finally Realize Where We've Seen 'Fringe' Before [Find The Pattern Of Plagarism]. Or "plagiarism," even.

Mirren Returns To Stage.

Julianne Moore Talks About Partnership with Burt’s Bees.

Diablo Cody: "I Am Better At This Than You." I have to say, I understand where the Diablo Cody backlash is coming from, but I will always give props to a well-executed burn, and this one may be up there with Roger Ebert's "Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks":

I know my name is fake and that it annoys you. What, do you hate Queen Latifah and Rip Torn, too? Writers and entertainers have been using pseudonyms for years. Chances are, you're spewing bile under an assumed screen name yourself. I'm sorry if you think I'm like some inked-up quasi-Suicide Girl derby cunt from 2002, but I like my fake name. It's engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn't.

Images: Check This Out: Sam Mendes' 'Revolutionary Road' Poster; 'Quarantine'; New Photos: Frank Miller’s 'The Spirit' (Sorry, There Can Only Be One Doctor Octopus).

Trailers: 'Synecdoche, New York' Trailer: You'll Love It; Extended 'How to Lose Friends & Alienate People' Clip.

trailer_spot: Synecdoche New York, Easy Virtue, Inkheart, Medicine for Melancholy, Blindness.

New 'Inkheart' Trailer Revealed; 'Inkheart' Poster: Reading Makes Brendan Fraser Die Inside.

Quantum of Solace: Listen To 'Another Way To Die'!; 'Another Way To Die' Single Available For Pre-order; Craig Put Off Sex Scenes By On-set Strangers ("So you're not exactly feeling sexy. Unless you get a kick out of that!" I like the implied "Hey, man, I don't judge").

Watchmen: Patrick Wilson likes to be "lost."

Nick Cave + 'The Road' = Most Depressingly Beautiful Movie Score Ever.

Ed Harris Eager To Get Back In Saddle For ‘Appaloosa’ Sequel; Ed Harris sings (and talks about singing) over the 'Appaloosa' closing credits.

Knightley, Mendes & Worthington Join 'Last Night.'

Hoffman, Moore Ready To Roll In Proposed ‘Big Lebowski’ Sequel.

‘Mamma Mia’ Sequel Not In Forecast, Says Dominic Cooper.

Disney Turning 'Tomorrowland' Into a Feature Film, Too?; 'Tomorrowland' To Star Johnson? "Johnson? Do I know of an actor named... oh, The Rrrrrock, why didn't you say so?"

Zemeckis To Adapt 'Airman.'

Jason Isaacs Says Script For ‘Green Zone’ No Good, Because There Isn’t Really One.

Someone Letting Brett Ratner Direct 'Conan'? I like the implied "No, I do judge, and I judge very harshly."

Comments

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

It was good despite the plot? Thank you for validating my decision to avoid writing classes in college.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Writing classes in college were the only reason I got anything written in college. They're good for forcing you to actually produce content, which gives you practice. And they taught me to focus on character. Which...may be why I have such a hard time coming up with plots.

So, anyway, I'm really glad I took writing classes in college. Even though they are, of course, bizarrely subjective. One of my instructors thought my story had, essentially, too many stylistic shifts for a seventeen-page story. My next one thought it was good and helped me revise it to submit to an English department competition judged by professional writers. Where it won $1000, the one and only prize.

(Hilariously, I submitted the same story to a student-run contest judged by graduate students. Where it won $150. Which was second place.)

[cpl593h.livejournal.com]

YAAAAY Another season of True Blood! I love it to death, even though Jason Stackhouse looks like my creepy ex and even though watching him have sex is kind of hot, it's all kinds of wrong in my head.

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

We Finally Realize Where We've Seen 'Fringe' Before [Find The Pattern Of Plagarism]. Or "plagiarism," even.

Mmm. I'm going with no on this one. (Unless Pacey is like Pacey #7 and they give me a live-action montage of glorious repeated deaths, in which case I'll watch Fringe forever.) But otherwise, that seems like a stretch. There needs to be more epic failure in Fringe before I start thinking Venture.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

"Wow, this has a plot, but it's actually pretty good."
Oh dear.

I suck at describing things, so I would never tell you more about the teacup, but I would certainly tell you what a character is thinking in five different metaphors. And my literary idol is Lorrie Moore, so I think I may have that tendency toward, er, a clarifying moment of ambiguity.

The whole "literary fiction" thing is such bullshit, really. That shouldn't be a fucking genre! It's just fiction! And I hate that I feel like I shouldn't try to write...literarily because that would make me pretentious.

[rinnamarie.livejournal.com]

No kidding. I hate reading books where you can just TELL that the author is trying to be literary. You can't force that stuff.

[fallingmallorn.livejournal.com]

What's with everyone ragging on Jodie Foster for wearing Birks? This is supposed to be surprising after she announces a spokesmanship with Burt's Bees? Really? Next they'll be utterly outraged that she's buys granola or something. :/

I loving the Inkheart poster, though...
Poster: SPARKLY SHINEY MONSTERY KEWL!!one!!!1!
Brendan Fraser: Must...keep....eyes...open....
Watchful Daughter Is Watchful: C'mon, dad, I'm right above you, so don't fall asleep. Don't you dare embarrass me in front of Gollum King Kong Tattooed Evil Guy. Remember, I'ma watchin' you.

[edda.livejournal.com]

Dear Diablo Cody,

My heart is now yours, with a three-point option on my vagina.

Love,

Me

[hulamoth.livejournal.com]

yay for True Blood! I do not have TV channels so I cannot see it but I someday hope to. On DVD.

I'm wondering where this 33% stat came from, also how people can not know it exists if it's that large.


Ouch. Your literary fiction critique = win. I had always hoped that "plot, what plot?" meant porn but now that I see it doesn't, I fear for posterity.

[hulamoth.livejournal.com]

also, linkspams:
Spit Parties: Genetic testing becomes a social activity (http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/blog/2008/sep/18/genetic.testing?commentpage=1)
ew, and ew

thanks for the Nick Cave mention, btw! I love him.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Key point: "MFA programs are exploding with people who have been drilled to create prose bonsai." YES. I HAVE BEEN THERE. Workshops, God bless them, are (or were, five years ago) to the point where I shopped the first two chapters of Black Ribbon and people actually said, "Wow, this has a plot, but it's actually pretty good."

You know, when I read things like that, it seriously makes me think that you dodged a bullet by not finishing that degree. I know you feel weird about that, but the more I hear about MFAs, the more I think that the best way to become a writer is to go on and write.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I feel worse about wasting the money than I do not finishing the degree. Or worse that I have to say to people, "No, I didn't finish." Actually, all I had left were literature classes (which made up the majority of the degree reqs), so there wasn't anymore damage to do.

Actually, I've been writing since I could grip a crayon--this is going to sound conceited, but the first time I was published, I was eight years old. I've always been interested in writing, how to write, how to write better, etc., so I had a lot of time to think about what I wanted to write and how I wanted to write it. By the time I graduated college, I was still unlearning some of the things I thought were totally awesome when I was a teenager (trying to write like Nabokov and the verbal bonsai, etc.), but I had a pretty good grip on my own voice. I guess I got started earlier than a lot of people. So I went into these workshops actually thinking to myself, in exactly these words, "I want to be better, but I'm not going to change to conform to a standard I don't agree with. I am going to keep a grip on who I am and how I write and I'm not going to change that just because someone tells me to, if I don't think the result is worth it."

And actually, I was the one piping up in class and saying things like, "You know, I find this character really interesting. Have you thought about having them... go do something?" I really didn't have to fight to justify myself the way I expected to--no one ever told me "Have less stuff happen." They mostly just seemed surprised that you could "have stuff happen" and still have a decent way with language. Again, though, I was 23 or 24 when I was taking these classes; I was a lot less susceptible to the "literary" style than in the classes I took when I was a teenager or an undergrad.

[bistyboo1974.livejournal.com]

Part of me wants to write up an in-depth thing about it

All of me begs you to totally DO IT.

:D

[divadeanna.livejournal.com]

Seconded. :-D Ugh I love True Blood.

[melisus.livejournal.com]

So the vampire's name is Bill? Somehow in watching both episodes I kept forgetting it. I'll still just call him Darcypire because sometimes he looks a bit like a Mr. Darcy.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeeee, he did remind me of Matthew Macfadyen. Like, constantly. "Bill" was just burned into my memory after Sookie was like, "Your name is BILL? BILL THE VAMPIRE? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

[batmaz.livejournal.com]

Hoffman, Moore Ready To Roll In Proposed ‘Big Lebowski’ Sequel.
Good Lord! I don't know whether I want this or not.

OMG IT'S INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY IN LIKE AN HOUR AND A HALF AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE AN EYEPATCH YET?!

[all-ephemera.livejournal.com]

Yay for True Blood! I am loving this show... but I have to watch it on OnDemand and skip past the credits because that decomposing fox wigs me the fuck out.

Also, Diablo Cody has my love for that burn. Really.

[emisi.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I know what you mean! Those credits are creeeeeeepy.

True Blood

[allie-meril.livejournal.com]

I watched the first two episodes through dubious means and genuinely fell in love as well! Sookie is twenty kinds of awesome. Even better: the books are just as great. I've finished the first one, and now I'm just waiting to pounce on my friend and demand the second one!

[greyduck.livejournal.com]

(MAYBE IT WOULD IF PEOPLE WOULD STOP DESCRIBING TEACUPS TO DEATH)

*snerk*

You know... I tend to feel as though doing the "descriptive" thing is one of my bigger weaknesses, but maybe it's time to let that stigma go? Would you say that one could relax, get the writing (plot, characterization, dialog) down and then go back and spot-check for details in a second pass?

Hmm.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

The descriptive thing was a huge problem for me, to the point where I actually started writing Black Ribbon under a self-imposed deadline (one chapter a week, five weeks total, in October 2003) just to make myself throw it out there and not worry about the fancy detailing. I would say definitely write the story first and then go back and look for good places to put in "anchor" details. I actually try not to describe the main characters' appearances on the first go, for example. Like, just write the story without even dealing with that, then put details here and there later. It helps me avoid the "flowing locks and crystal-blue eyes" infodumps. With minor characters, I feel like it's more important to anchor them with a few key details right there, because that's the essence of who they are and you might not see them very much, or again, even. Mostly the anchor detail thing I'm thinking of is for location--rather than just stop dead and describe a room from wall to wall, mention that the carpet was frayed and the floor creaked and move on--some kind of detail that you can imply a lot with, unless there's a reason you need the reader to have a grasp of the actual space. I don't know--I think a lot of it needs to come down to a writer asking herself, "Does the reader NEED to know this? Do these details create any kind of effect, or am I just transcribing what's in my head?" It's like, you have to learn to trust your reader to get it without you telling them every little thing, or allow them to imagine their own version of the scene without you painting it for them by numbers. I don't know.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

My last semester of college, I often spent lunch sitting outside a writing class in the basement of the English building. It was where my next class was, and cooler and roomier than the main floor. So I heard a lot of student writing and critique.

It made me never want to write fiction, ever.

Of course, that was the same room where I came down with the chicken pox in the middle of my very last final exam, so maybe it was just cursed.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee, yeah. All I know is, it made me never, ever want to read a book about any white people with suburban ennui ever again, and I am white people with suburban ennui. Really, the way I look at books now is if the description or synopsis says anything about the way the character feels--if his feeling bad or guilty or dissatisfied or disillusioned is the POINT of the story in any way--I want no part of it. The synopsis better have the hero doing something, and it better have him doing something fast. And if there's a "journey of self-discovery," God help us all.

[sucrelefey.livejournal.com]

I am anti literary and I couldn't write literary style to save my life but I am surrounded by literary people and the peer pressure to be more literary shows; the results suck.

If I didn't know better I think one of the tabloids on the table in one of the True Blood episodes had a headline "Angelina adopts vampire."

[snowwhite2421.livejournal.com]

It did.

[bya-san.livejournal.com]

What are the all-time best fake-band names?

Outrageous Flavor and Furious Kitten, obviously.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks.

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

Why would anyone even think of doing a sequel to Watchmen? *rolls eyes*

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha, Watchmen sequel. Someone is missing the point, AMERICA.

[tundraeternal.livejournal.com]

Oo, have you read the Southern Vampire books? They're SO much better than the show. I started reading on Monday, and now i'm on book 3. The writing is cumbersome at times, (and her English is positively incorrect at times, i yearn for a red marker), but i like the characters so much better than the TrueBlood TV ones.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I actually haven't--I don't think I've read any modern vampire books other than, like, Anne Rice and Bunnicula. Until I get the Black Ribbon universe really settled in, I'm trying to stay away from that, you know? When I'm more secure in it, I'm going to read up on what other people have done. A lot of it's just an issue of not having time at the moment, really.

(I decided to read Twilight because, well: sparkling and vampire baseball, obviously no thematic/mythological overlap to worry about there; and True Blood (the show), modern-day Louisiana vampires, not a problem either.)

[snowwhite2421.livejournal.com]

Please, I beg you, read the book True Blood is based on. It's called Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris.

I am so desperately wishing for someone else to understand my anger at Stephenie Meyer right now, the hack. Never read a vampire book my ass.

It won't RUIN the sparkly goodness, but it will definitely make you think twice about SMeyer's "creativity."

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah... I don't think I need to read anything to think twice about her creativity. I'm not even sure I thought once about her creativity.

(I actually really do want to read the Harris books. It's mostly a matter of not having time at the moment.)

[ppyajunebug.livejournal.com]

Screw SATC...I'm pissed as all hell about this new Hitchhiker's book. Who on God's green earth thought that was a good idea?

[goonie-freak.livejournal.com]

OMG I love TruBlood too! Its not a very good show but something about... yeah but I watched it with my dad... kinda awkward! lol

My dad fell asleep during the last half of the second ep and I was telling him about it the next day and was laughing and using the bunny-ear quote gestures about the "Glamouring" that was going on.

I still think the Bar owner dude is hotter than Bill... and Sookie's bro needs to get a punching bag instead of having sex... these girls are getting thrown around like rag dolls...

[azuresquirrel.livejournal.com]

I am very pleased to hear your dislike for crazy description becaus eI admire your writing and I personally stopped writing short stories because I felt I was horrible at description. So maybe I should try it again (but maybe I'm just better with script format. Dialogue is my favorite thing to write).

[greyduck.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's kind of where I'm at, the dialog thing. I hope to prove that I have more than just snappy witticisms to offer the world...

[angelene.livejournal.com]

Put on some pants, Anna Paquin.

I... what? I'm not following you.

Also uh... is it very very bad that I um really like that teacup's description? I have never ever taken writing courses in my life, I swear. Still.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

I like the teacup's description too! Out of context. I feel that in context, it might be really stupid.