Times is hard

[cleolinda]

Did a lot of Black Ribbon research this weekend, and got really excited about a couple of things I found, and then... the taxes. Woe. That kind of harshed my buzz.

(Do you ever have something really dumb and inconsequential happen, but when it comes on top of something else epically crappy, it's like it's just the cherry on top? Yeah. As I've mentioned before, I'm addicted to Webkinz. Shut up. You play World of Warcraft, I play with animated plushies. Anyhoo, the pink poodle's the pet of the month. I got one. And then it turned out that I'd gotten the little pink poodle and so it didn't count, and therefore I didn't get the special in-game POTM items. Oh, and we've got to come up with $12,000 over the next six months. * Yeah. Completely inconsequential cherry on top.)

* Note: As mentioned in the previous entry, only $6200 of that is taxes. The rest comes from various household things we're paying off.

However, we are now going to drown our sorrows in homemade brownies. Also, I had gotten the 2-disc Sweeney Todd before I realized that we're screwed financially, so I'm clinging to that at the moment.

Massive linkspam:

Charlton Heston, Epic Film Star and Voice of N.R.A., Dies at 84; Charlton Heston's epic acting style defined an era.

Man with suicide victim's heart kills self. "A man who received a heart transplant 12 years ago and later married the donor's widow died the same way the donor did, authorities said: of a self-inflicted gunshot wound."

Harper Collins New Studio to Test New Author Paying System; Bob Miller's New HarperCollins Unit Is Totally Going To Revolutionize Publishing!; Hey, let's start a new book imprint where authors don't get advances and we don't let bookstores return copies! What could possibly go wrong?; Publisher To Take Out Frustrations On You, Your Bookstore, Entire World; Making Light's take.

Dan Simmons' Hyperion Books Will Be Smooshed Together into One Movie.

DNA tests may solve mystery of Anastasia.

Astronomers find new planets, including a baby.

Mich. boy finds 1981 Smithsonian error. "Is fifth-grader Kenton Stufflebeam smarter than the Smithsonian?" I don't know, but I'm pretty sure he goes to Hogwarts.

Pirates seize French luxury yacht.

Mo. seeks to ban kids 'cage fighting.'

Woman bites dog that attacked her dog.

FBI: Parachute isn't hijacker Cooper's.

Ted Turner: global warming could lead to cannibalism.

BBC budget gets drastically slashed; Dis my “hooman before coffee in teh morning” impressionz; so long, n thanks for all the fish; Going to Stop Lex Luthor, BRB; Stand back, Flossie, I'll handle this; six hours of practis a day, four years of music skool and u ask me to “do coldplay.”

Awesome polar bear frolicking; Baby Flocke takes a swim!

Girls Are Pretty: You Think You Know What The Smoke Monster Is Day!; What was in the Dharma Initiative Boxes in Lisbon? [Advertising]

Chris Rock testifies in Hollywood wiretap trial; Pellicano allegedly suggested killing producer; Would-Be Hitman Anthony Pellicano Just Wants His Offers To Kill Quoted Accurately.

Movie talk with Keith Richards.

Bank Roles: 25 'I Did It for the Money' Films. "But perhaps no one was as out of place [in Transformers: The Movie] as the director of Citizen Kane, well into his Paul Masson-shilling decline. Welles wields his gargantuan baritone as the voice of Unicron, a ravenous robot-planet that devours everything in its path. Yes, his last role was a fat joke."

trailer_spot: Hellboy II, Battle in Seattle, Street Kings, Persepolis, Bangkok Dangerous; War Inc, Bangkok Dangerous, Savage Grace, Mongol, Kit Kittredge, Leatherheads.

Report: Two More Characters Cast for "Half-Blood Prince'; "Regulus Black casted? WHAT WHAT? Well, let me tell YOU, internets..."

Latest from Guillermo del Toro on The Hobbit - 'We Are All in Sync.'

'Quantum of Solace' - Official Blog Report #1; More 'Quantum' Photos Of Daniel Craig And Olga Kurylenko; Extra Interviews Daniel Craig; Olga Kuryenko On Stunts, Bruises And Revenge; Marc Forster Not Planning On Return For 'Bond 23'; USA Today: A 'Quantum' Leap For The James Bond Series; James Bond finds 'Solace' a bit Chile; 'Quantum of Solace' Filming Gatecrashed By Chilean Mayor.

Watchmen Video Journal: Sets and Sensibility.

Switchfoot in Narnia; Adventures in Narnia - Clip 3; Orchestrating Magic in Narnia ... All Over Again; WETA to Capture the Magic of The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian (thanks, annlarimer!).

Cloverfield DVD Easter Eggs - Monsters; Another Cloverfield Special Edition?; Cloverfield Alternate Endings.

Kidman and Dench in Talks for 'Nine.'

Newton and Gruffudd Cast in 'W.' Thandie Newton as Condoleezza Rice. Huh.

Johnny 5 is Alive - 'Short Circuit' Being Remade! Actually, I think this does deserve an exclamation point. Just maybe not in the tone intended.

Clips: New 'Incredible Hulk' Promo; Exclusive Clip: Ellen Page And Thomas Haden Church In ‘Smart People’; Really Creepy Teaser for Fernando Meirelles' 'Blindness' Surfaces.

Images: New 'Get Smart' Pics; 'The Pineapple Express' Poster Hits (James Franco totally cracks me up here, by the way); Red Hot New Pics From Dark Knight And Iron Man! [Morning Spoilers]; 'Tropic Thunder' One-Sheets and Banner; First Look: Matt Damon in Paul Greengrass' 'Green Zone'; EXCLUSIVE: 'Towelhead' Poster Premiere; First Set Photos from Frank Miller's 'The Spirit'; Gorgeous Banner for Frank Miller's 'The Spirit.'

Gordon-Levitt Talks Cobra Commander’s Mask, Lisp; Brendan Fraser and The Rock Join 'G.I. Joe'?

Tobey Maguire to Topline 'Hungry Rabbit.'

Denzel Washington is a Secret Agent Man; Denzel Washington Attached to 'Matarese Circle.'

Billy Crudup Joins 'Public Enemies' Cast. Someone up there loves us, is all I have to say.

Maggie Gyllenhaal and Paul Bettany Recover in Tasmania.

Rosamund Pike, Radha Mitchell Join 'Surrogates.'

Olivia Williams Joins Whedon's 'Dollhouse.'

Cate Blanchett and Joseph Fiennes to Star in Multimedia Theatrical Performance for IWC Schaffhausen.

Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg Back Together for 'World's End.'

Gretchen Mol to Star in 'Tenure.'

Mussolini Gets a Mistress.

'Friday the 13th' Remake Gets a Female Lead.

Javier Bardem is Replaced by a Woman!

EXCLUSIVE: ‘Twilight’ Author Stephenie Meyer Shoots Movie Cameo.

Tom Cruise Purple Is Not The Weed You Want In Your Bong.

Comments

[sneaky-minx.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear, Times is Hard indeed! You watch that singing barber slash those throats, hon, and you enjoy it! (I loved the movie, dammit, really need to put the soundtrack on my iPod) Also? Dexter? Totally what I watch when I'm in a super bad mood. Homicide is wonderfully cathartic, yes.

So, $12,000? Seriously? *hugs*

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Actually, it's probably going to be more like $15,000, but it occurred to me that if the number changed every time I mentioned it, people would think I was having them on.

[sneaky-minx.livejournal.com]

:( The fuck? I do think people would believe it, though. I mean, this IS the government: home to batshittery.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, keep in mind: the taxes are $6200. That's a fixed number; that's not changing. The rest of it is from replacing the air conditioner, the oven, and the TV that died, and having to finish paying them all off by November or earlier--the total number keeps changing because I keep trying to estimate how much it's all going to add up to. The government is not actually trying to squeeze five figures out of us.

[sneaky-minx.livejournal.com]

Oh okay, I didn't realize you included everything else in there. Still sucks, though. :( And I'm in the club that can't believe the super expensive air conditioner. :/

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I included everything because that's why we're screwed--I have no idea where we're going to get it from. I mean, financing and payment plans and loans, I guess, plus eBaying things. $6200 in taxes alone would be icky, but we could swing it.

[greyduck.livejournal.com]

Just gotta say, your icon cracked me up. I needed cracking up this morning.

(I actually thought that the last couple eps of TW were surprisingly good. Doesn't make the icon any less funny, though.)

[pygmymetal.livejournal.com]

You can take up a payment plan with the IRS. You say how much you're going to pay per month.

[falco-conlon.livejournal.com]

His name is Kenton Stufflebeam? Oh yeah. He totally goes to Hogwarts.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

See! You know what I'm talking about!

[falco-conlon.livejournal.com]

Can I also say that I hate that Frank Miller is adapting the Spirit? Will Esiner is such an incredible genius and Frank Miller is all whoreswhoreswhoreswhores! (http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20060207.html)

...I don't like Frank Miller.

[glass-radical.livejournal.com]

Man. If I could, I would get in line for "South Solitary" right now.

[silversyren.livejournal.com]

The comments under "EXCLUSIVE: ‘Twilight’ Author Stephenie Meyer Shoots Movie Cameo." are hilarious.

OMG SPOILERZZZ D:

Why does it seem like the scifi/fantasy (and in this case, vampire) fans seem to be the most batshit crazy?

[glass-radical.livejournal.com]

They are hilarious

"OMG YOU SHULD APOLOGIZE TO STEPHANIE FOR RUINING HER SURPRISE YOU JERKS OMGWTFBBQ"

[plazmah.livejournal.com]

If it's any consolation, I think this is the best, funniest Linkspam you have ever done. Pure gold m'dear. :)

[stokerbramwell.livejournal.com]

I hate to post something completely unrelated, but you should be aware of this, and so should everyone else on the internet (http://www.news.com/8301-13578_3-9899151-38.html).

It appears that the FBI has now determined that clicking a link that claims to be illegal, but isn't actually, is an arrestable offense.

Can you imagine what internet pranksters are going to do with this? Tricking people into getting convicted as sex offenders will surely be worth EPIC lulz to those of a particularly sick bent.

I'm certainly never clicking another TinyURL link, that's for sure.

[roseredhoofbeat.livejournal.com]

I wish this was a good idea. Because anyone who will watch a four year old be anally raped deserves to DIE. In a FIRE.

[stokerbramwell.livejournal.com]

Agreed. Few things I despise more than sexual abuse of children. I just wish people wouldn't do quite such...insane things to hunt down its perpetrators.

[syneblue.livejournal.com]

I do not understand why the FBI is pissing away their time arrest-rickrolling those who download porn instead of tracking down and arresting the people MAKING the porn. Or rescuing the children while they're at it.
Wonder if the FBI is going to come kick in my door for calling them pansies.

[stokerbramwell.livejournal.com]

And it turns out that the whole thing was nothing but crap, as the media was just trying to make up a controversy, as usual.

http://just2draw.livejournal.com/121959.html?thread=682599#t682599 (http://just2draw.livejournal.com/121959.html?thread=682599#t682599)

I feel so stupid.

[stokerbramwell.livejournal.com]

And it turns out that the whole thing was nothing but crap, as the media was just trying to make up a controversy, as usual.

http://just2draw.livejournal.com/121959.html?thread=682599#t682599 (http://just2draw.livejournal.com/121959.html?thread=682599#t682599)

I feel so stupid.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I've got a few to add to the Paycheck Movies for Actors List (I have been gathering evidence to prove that classically trained actors are FILTHY WHORES for years now), but I thought I would share my personal favorite with you. The movie should be brought up to this actor whenever he is spotted, followed by a great big WTF: Christopher Plummer in Starcrash (http://imdb.com/title/tt0079946/). Somebody summed up (http://community.livejournal.com/metaquotes/6618992.html) the plot of this movie a week or so ago, but failed to mention the mindblowing fact that somehow CAPTAIN VON FUCKING TRAPP made it into the cast.

That, my friends, is the pinnacle of paycheck movies.

[arjumand.livejournal.com]

Thing is, I don't completely agree with the list: I mean yeah, The Flintstones was utter crap, and so was Rocky and Bullwinkle, but The Chronicles of Riddick? A lot of science fiction fans, myself included, enjoyed that movie, once you adjusted to the fact that, no, it really wasn't Pitch Black 2: This Time It's Personal!

The 'sequel' to a monster movie was a space opera, and once a few critics panned it, everyone else followed suit. And a mistake was made in calculating ratings so it looked like it tanked completely, while in fact it almost made back its (enormous) budget.

Also, Karl Urban is hot; he's like fire and ice and rage . . . I mean, ahem, I like him.

Sorry about the tl;dr!

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

Noooo they be smooshing my Hyperion!

[elbales]

Two of the Harper Collins stories (second and third links) go to the same page.

[wirrrn.livejournal.com]

ANASTASIA: Didn't they do that years ago already? Or was it just to prove the old lady who claimed to be her, wasn't?

Ted Turner: As I'm currently doing a Master's Thesis *on* Cannibalism, I can only say Yay for Anthrophagy!

There's a biopic movie coming out about George Dubya? I'd hazard a guess that his portrayal in HAROLD & KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANEMO BAY will be more accurate. Although the tag-lines might be fun. "Never Misunderestimate the Power of your Dreams..."

[bigeyedrabbit.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. My family are great believers in drowning our sorrows in homemade brownies, too.

[pinstripe-bindi.livejournal.com]

...except Connery didn't make Never Say Never "for the money", as he donated all the profits to a retired Scottish actors fund. There are lots of other terrible movies he probably did for the money, but I don't think you can count that one against him.

/is protective of crazy old Scottish actors