My thrilling Labor Day weekend

[cleolinda]

1. Sleep.

2. Read Ray Bradbury.

3. Faff around on internet. Go back and tag August entries, because laziness had set in. Despair of going back and tagging all the pre-tag era entries from 2003 - 2005.

4. Avoid Alabama-Hawaii game on TV downstairs, as well as associated shrieking.

5. Sleep.

6. Sunday breakfast. Mmmtoast.

7. Sleep.

8. Faff around on internet. Discover discussion of mythical Jurassic Park 4 on FW. Realize I have bombshell to contribute to discussion; search "cracked out" on journal, dig up old AICN link. Remember this one, guys?

9. Write up linkspam; consider lunch.


Linkspam both frivolous and sobering:

ALIEN MERMAID WTF. I mean, no, it's not real; it's on Snopes. It's just--who said, "You know what, I'm gonna fake a mermaid corpse, but this one, this one's gonna be an alien mermaid"?

Okay, it's time to address the Suri Cruise sculpture. I've seen this linked a few places, and no, Crazy Tom Cruise did not have his mythical baby's first poop bronzed. Number one, she isn't even on solid food yet anyway. Number two, this is from the same sculptor who did the statue of naked Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug. Tom Cruise is crazy, but he ain't this crazy; he had nothing to do with this.

Remember the discussion we had about watching movie casts take shape, and people who didn't get famous roles? This site is for you.

This is the link I was talking about yesterday. It's a trailer for a documentary called The Bridge, wherein the filmmakers spent a year documenting all the suicides at the Golden Gate Bridge, the most suicide-prone spot in the world, apparently, in trying to figure out... why, I guess. Here's a better description:

The heartrending truths in Auden and Brueghel's works—that people suffer largely unnoticed while the rest of the world goes about its business—are brought literally and painfully home in Eric Steel's The Bridge, a documentary exploration of the mythic beauty of the Golden Gate Bridge, the most popular suicide destination in the world, and the unfortunate souls drawn by its siren call. Steel and his crew filmed the bridge during daylight hours from two separate locations for all of 2004, recording most of the two dozen deaths in that year (and preventing several others). They also taped more than 100 hours of interviews with friends, families and witnesses, who recount in sorrowful detail stories of struggles with depression, substance abuse and mental illness. The result is a moving and unsettling film that cannot help but touch everyone in the Bay Area in one way or another, not least because it admittedly raises as many questions as it answers: about suicide, mental illness and civic responsibility as well as the filmmaker's relationship to his fraught and complicated material.

So it's more sensitively filmed than I'm making it sound. And finally the trailer comes out, and it's so incredibly quiet and stark and sad. In the trailer itself, you see two or three people actually climbing over the rail of the bridge. I can't remember where I read about the film previously, but I remember them saying that, in the documentary itself, they cut away before the actual jump or fall in most cases, except for one or two instances in which you can't see much anyway. The two or three people you see in the trailer itself make you feel--well, they make me feel very sad, because you sit there watching them, wondering what brought them to this point. They don't look stereotypically "crazy" or "desperate"; they're not shaking or sobbing or drawing attention in any way whatsoever. They just climb over and... fall. If you do watch it, you'll see what I mean--the tone itself is respectful, I think, and the description of the movie makes it sound like they want to figure out how people get to this point and why help is not getting to them--not on the bridge, I mean, but earlier in their lives. And the filmmakers do say that whenever they had any chance to help or stop someone, they did; it's just that with all the pedestrian traffic, and the lengths jumpers go to not to attract notice, it's hard to tell what's going to happen until it's too late.

The part that got me was when you hear a woman in voiceover saying that she asked a cop if this happens a lot, over a wide shot of the bridge, and right as you hear her say, "And he said, 'It happens all the time,'" very unexpectedly, you see a tiny splash in the water. For some reason, that really, really upset me, even more than seeing the actual people getting ready to jump. After stopping the trailer and sitting there and staring and wiping my eyes for a few minutes, I ran the clip back several times and looked, and I swear you can't see anyone actually jump. Which is what makes it all the more unexpected--it's kind of a metaphor for the whole documentary, I think. So many people go on suffering unnoticed, and no one helps them--no one knows to help them, no one sees them, and then it's too late.

So, I'm just saying. I think I really want to see this now, but I might have to wait for the DVD. And you may not want to watch the trailer if you think it'll upset you.

Juxtaposed against that, this site takes on a whole new meaning. It's amazing, though--once the applet has loaded, you can click random dots ("happy," "guilty," "sad") and see real excerpts from online journals. I don't know how they collect them ("12 mins ago"), but apparently the key word in all the sentences is "feel."

And now that I've depressed the hell out of you: here, have a panda dancing. It might make you feel better.

Comments

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Did you see Harlan Ellison's latest non-apology (http://james-nicoll.livejournal.com/453649.html)? (Ganked from chaosdancer.) Apparently because Connie hasn't complained to him, that lets Ellison off the hook.

[alpheratz.livejournal.com]

1) Were you there?
2) Did you see it?

HAVE YOU BEEN TO IRAQ?

[arielchan.livejournal.com]

Trailer for 'Driving Lessons' with Rupert Grint is now up on Apple. (http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony/drivinglessons/hd/)

Actually rather cute-looking, though I suspect the whole plot is given away in the trailer.

[stella-gold.livejournal.com]

The problem with suicidal depression is that people assume it's none of their business. You notice someone being down and you usually ask them what's wrong, but when they say "nothing" too many leave it at that. I mean, the person has to want help, (hence my unsuccessful forays into guidance classes when I was younger), but if you just try to let them know someone is there, even if you don't particularly like the person, it could save a life. Or even just brighten up someone's day - random acts of kindness are way too rare.

[thyroyalmajesty.livejournal.com]

I lived my whole life in the Bay Area, with my last five years being in San Francisco proper. (And now I'm in L.A. *Sniff* :-( ) The local media almost never reports Golden Gate suicides. But they do happen, as the sherrif said, all the time. And all the locals know it. Obviously, the media wouldn't want to advertise one of our most prominent landmark's morbid world-record title, but if I recall correctly, whenever there was an approaching landmark number of suicides (the 100th, or 1,000th), there'd be a boom in jumps by people wanting to be the 1,000th jumper.

Surprisingly, though, a majority of people in the Bay Area are opposed to a suicide barrier, saying that it would be too expensive, and detract from the beauty of the Bridge. But seeing as how the only barrier they have right now is four feet high... Well, I think we can do better.

The last Bridge suicide that I can recall personally happened on the Bay Bridge (as seen in my icon) during rush hour. I had a friend who was trapped on the Bridge in his car for four hours. He said that by the end of it, people were leaning out of their cars, yelling at the suicidal woman to just jump. Ugh.

[edda.livejournal.com]

That movie sounds...I wanna see it, but I dread it a little. Because I know it'll mess me up for a while. And let me tell you, I thank God pretty often that I'm built to enjoy solitude and be too nosy about what's going to happen next to seriously consider making an early exit. I'm a little on the emotionally blah side, but I've never gotten that far away from healthy, and I'm sorry for those who do.

And that We Feel Fine is tripping my shit out. It's like Popcorn PostSecret or something.

[jasminelily.livejournal.com]

My biggest problem with that documentary is that they made up some bullshit story to the Park Service in order to get permission to film the bridge for a year.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh, that's not good.

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

Um, trust me, they poop LONG BEFORE they're on solid food. They sometimes poop before they're even born (and then it gets into their lungs).

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know--what I was trying to get at, very delicately, is that--well, if you look at the actual sculpture, it is, uh, extremely advanced, extremely solid poop. Not the "I am four months old" poop you usually get.

[girlbyjuly.livejournal.com]

I want to see The Bridge too. Living in California only 2 hours away from it makes it all the more sad, but I feel like it's something I need to see.

[timba.livejournal.com]

Your thrilling holiday weekend sounds suspiciously like MY thrilling holiday weekend.

Except instead of the Alabama-Hawaii game, I am avoiding the Air Force/Navy Soccer (Rematch of Doom!). Not sure whether or not this is better...

[milissa.livejournal.com]

I saw The Bridge at Tribeca this year and then attended the Q&A w/ Eric afterwards. It was very odd sitting there watching it and there were points where I got choked up during the interviews of family and friends. I would definitely recommend seeing it.

[dreaminghannah.livejournal.com]

Dude... that "mermaid" looks like Jarjar from Star Wars. That's screwed up.

[deathwatchlove.livejournal.com]

I thought it looked suspisciously plaster-of-Paris...

[tiye.livejournal.com]

My husband's best friend from college committed suicide a couple weeks ago, and one of the most difficult things about it is how unfathomable it is. He was, in fact, looking forward to things (including a visit to us in Chicago -- he's supposed to be here right now), and seemed to be getting better. Nobody, talking to him in the days before it happened, would have thought him capable of doing what he did. The only way it makes sense to me is if there was some substance involved -- alcohol, a bad anti-depressent prescription (or withdrawal, if he had stopped taking his meds), something. Everyone who knew him is left wondering what was going through his mind at that moment, and what more could have possibly been done to stop it? And the truth is, of course, that the root of the problem usually does lie far in the person's past. Self-destructive ways of thinking become ingrained within the psyche over the years until they become part of your identity, while clueless parents, teachers, etc. let it go unheeded (or make it worse) and friends simply don't know what to do.

[sidara.livejournal.com]

ahh. that movie. that got a huge front page story earlier this year in san francisco, juxtaposed with another story on why it is taking freaking forever to decide if or when to put up a suicide barrier around the goldgen gate. i mean, yes, they would have to factor in for the wind and other problems with working with a suspension bridge over rough waters, but the main point that everyone argues over the most is if it would change the view of the bridge against the bay.

and yes. the saddest thing about it all is that people do come from all over the world to jump off the golden gate. though to be fair, there are undercover cops whose sole job all day long is to stand on the golden gate and, aside from freezing their butts off, look for these jumpers and try to prevent them from ending their lives. there is some prevention out there, but definitely not enough, either at the bridge or before they get there.

[lotusbiosm.livejournal.com]

OK, stupid question-
the words "pedestrian traffic" make me think that people can walk on the bridge. Is this the case? Or do most suicides drive out there and then leave the car and jump?

[flameow.livejournal.com]

Ewww...I'm looking at the notstarring.com website. Brad Pitt, Will Smith, and Jim Carrey were all considered for the part of Willy Wonka. How do they come up with these people? O.o
What scares me even more is Jim Carrey was also considered for Jack Sparrow.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

AUGH, I had not heard that one. I did happen to see the C&CF page, though, since it was at the top of the most entries list.

[queenofattolia.livejournal.com]

I have friends who are either Bay Area natives or have lived in the city for years, and all of them have either come upon the aftermath of a suicide on the bridge, or know someone who knows someone, etc. who actually did it. San Francisco is one of the most gorgeous cities on earth, and when the weather is clear the bridge is remarkably beautiful and inspiring. It's hard to believe that in the midst of all that splendor people are so downhearted and abandoned that they have to turn away from it in such a final way.

The NY Times had an article about this film, and I think part of it centers on the one person who actually survived such a suicide attempt (I think he's a paraplegic now).

I can't fathom this at all, which is probably why it's so compelling.

[piratesorka.livejournal.com]

Having lived in SF as well as worked with suicidal people, I think I would like to see this film...maybe. I dunno.

Did they mention in the film that almost all the suicides jump from the side that looks at The City instead of away? A disturbing fact that still makes me think about the poor souls who jump.

[stella-gold.livejournal.com]

Er, that's because the side that faces the city has the pedestrian walkway. The other walkway is for bicyclists.

Also, most suicides occur near Lamp 69. If you look up "Golden Gate Bridge" on Wikipedia, scroll down to "Suicides" and click on the link to the location map, there's a big spike right next to that lamp. Strange.

[r-a-black.livejournal.com]

I definitely want to see this film. I just can't think to myself that it's too much to handle, I don't care if it gives me nightmares. I guess it's become like a bit of an obsession of mine to try and know as much as I can about any case of suicide. A friend of mine comitted suicide last year and it's bugged me to hell that I didn't see the signs. I have other friends who have huge issues in their lives and can't seem to know how to cope with them. I'd just rather know as much as I can.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I'm going to preface this by saying that I don't personally see suicide as an option; any time I feel really bad, I think about how awful my family would feel afterwards--my mother, my grandmother, my dog. I know that sounds dumb, but how do you explain to a dog where the person whose bed he sleeps on went, and why she's never coming back? It's like being unable to explain it to a small child, in a way. Basically, it's about whatever keeps you from making a momentary, but giant, mistake.

Anyway, the main thing I want to say, from the perspective of the person going through that kind of depression, it's not your fault for not seeing it. It's not something we want you to see. Part of the reason that kind of depression, that kind of desperation, is so insidious is that it makes you feel like such a loser and a freak--you don't want people to know how you're feeling. In a way, you're afraid people are just going to say, "Get over yourself!" Because if you're okay enough to ask for help, obviously you're not bad enough off. No one (you think) would take it seriously unless something catastrophic happened--no one would think it was serious until you got to the point where they said, "Why didn't you say something earlier?" In my case, I feel like no one ever takes me seriously until I fail a class about once every four years, and suddenly everyone's like, "Why didn't you tell us you spent six months crying yourself to sleep and praying you wouldn't wake up in the morning?" Well, because you'd tell me to drag my ass out of bed and suck it up, or you'd send me to a therapist who'd tell me the same thing. Maybe it's because we ourselves can't imagine a solution to the problem, therefore we can't imagine that anyone else has a solution to offer, either--just pity or disgust. I can't tell you how loathsome it makes you feel--small and pathetic and tattered and grimy. The only thing worse than feeling that way is knowing that other people know you feel that way, and seeing it reflected back through them--knowing that they see how pathetic you are at that moment.

And you can say, "But that's not how I'd feel at all, I'd want to help, I'd want to be supportive." But the problem, the point, is that it's all in the sufferer's perception. It's like being in a hall of mirrors and all you can see is yourself and how loathsome you are, and you can't see anything beyond it. And you don't want anyone else to see inside it, so you keep up the social niceties as best you can, until one day you just can't stand it anymore, and you start wondering why you're still here going through this day after day, and if it's ever going to get any better, and if it's not, why you're still here bothering, and if you're me, you start thinking about your dog and how much he loves you and how he misses you like crazy if you go out for five hours one evening, forget something permanent actually happening to you.

What I'm trying to say is, have regret, feel frustration, feel sorrow. But don't feel guilty. Anything short of someone actually saying "I'm going to kill myself," you could not have known. It's not something you can see; it's not something we want you to see, it's not even something we feel we can ask for help for half the time, and that's why, as mental illnesses go, it's so dangerous and insidious.

[r-a-black.livejournal.com]

Okay, uh, whoa. So I went surfing around that site, We Feel Fine, and I've ended up commenting in quite a few other people's LJ's. I probably shouldn't, but er.. I dunno, compelled to. *bashes self*

[queentab.livejournal.com]

Awww man. You had the UA-Hawaii game on tv and did not watch it? Wasn't that pay-per-view only?

Actually, I don't even know who won that game. But if I had it on tv I'm sure I would have known!
:)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I think UA won. My parents bought it on PPV--took my mother a good two days to figure out how to order it, too. So it didn't go to waste or anything. : )

[blinkliz.livejournal.com]

Wow. That trailer. ... Wow

// In other news: Is Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter (http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,20349892-952,00.html) really dead?

[elbeonore.livejournal.com]

I couldn't believe it, that the Croc Hunter is dead. I mean, he's just... always been there... grapping crocs... holding snakes... NOT BEING KILLED BY A STING RAY! Even a dancing panda can do nothing for this shock... it just... wow....

Also, someone has been messing-up (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/5310416.stm?ls) Paris Hilton's CD. The best part is, no one who bought Paris's CD and realized that the CD had been switched for some parody is reported to have returned the CD.

[christigilly.livejournal.com]

Ok, this is completely unrelated to anything, but I had to share this...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060904/ap_en_tv/obit_irwin

It sucks, but you know he died doing something awesome and something he loved. I kinda wouldn't mind going like that, except for the whole "Ow, ow, stabbity in my heart!" thing.

[yarha.livejournal.com]

I'm so pulled one way and the other by the bridge thing. On the one hand, it illustrates a problem; on the other, it *still* seems an intrusion into people's last moments.

*sigh*

Yarha, Confused Again

[softlyforgotten.livejournal.com]

Hello; I'm a long time lurker who never really comments but I wanted to:

(a) thank you for always managing to make me feel better

and

(b) I'm looking for an old Fandom Wank post ages ago that had some v. funny Harry Potter FF summaries, the weirdest/funniest ones around. Did you link to that one?

[aliah-carina.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you're looking for mctabby's Summary Executions (http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=mctabby&keyword=Summary+Executions&filter=all)?

~Another random lurker

[incognito323.livejournal.com]

I tagged all my PTE (pre tag era) entries a few weeks ago. It took days. And I haven't even had an LJ for terribly long. I get lazy with tags too. THEY ARE THE DEVIL. But admittedly much better than memories.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I love tags, but I started my journal on Halloween of 2003, so you can imagine the slog I've got ahead of me.

[bigeyedrabbit.livejournal.com]

Thanks for cutting and trigger-labelling all of the stuff about the bridge movie. I think I speak for a lot of folks when I say it's always nice to know BEFORE I start reading something that it might upset me, and that I might not want to read/look at it at all.