(no subject)

[cleolinda]

>> So I have a massive headache from holding my mouth open for an hour and a half, but my fillings are in and they look gorgeous. Well, the one that you can see--for some reason, I had a canine that had basically just eroded away at the gumline. You wouldn't have seen it unless I pulled my mouth back that way, and good God, why would I do that, but seriously, you could just about smuggle a roll of microfilm back there. Didn't hurt at all, but you could tell that it would eventually if it got any deeper. And then I had a weird cavity between my two front teeth, which had contributed to my chipping the back of the tooth one day, and created 1) a small gap between my teeth and 2) a deadly little razor-sharp jag on that back. And then there was one that I could neither see nor feel, so who cares about that one, but the other two: look gorgeous now.

But I haven't had a filling put in since I was in my early teens, if I recall correctly, so I'd forgotten what the process was like. Generally, I have had good teeth all my life; it's only recently that things have gone downhill. This may have something to do with the fact that I'm in my late twenties--I read last month that your memory takes a steep dive at the age of twenty, which explains both why teenagers (including me as one) have such an extensive grasp of trivia and why I suddenly went stupid at the age of twenty-one. I'm serious, I think I remember the day I actually went stupid. I was a junior in college and I thought I'd just had a little too much to... drink. Yes. Drink. Too much to drink. And the next day, I couldn't remember who won Best Actress in 1994, and was suddenly terrified that I'd killed important brain cells. These days, I can't even remember who won Best Actress two years ago, so clearly it's all Flowers for Algernon up in here.

(This is another reason I don't believe that Kaavya Viswanathan--and more on her in a few paragraphs--"internalized" other people's works. Bitch, please. You were seventeen when you wrote the book, which is well under the Algernon Threshold, if I may coin a phrase. Shit, you're still under the threshold. If you were twenty-five, I'd almost be able to believe you.)

(Does "threshold" have one h or two there in the middle? Dammit, I can't remember!)

Which is a roundabout way of saying HOLY SHIT NEEDLES IN MA MOUF I CANNA FEEW. Seriously, I knew I was in trouble when I said "Ow!" and Dr. Jones (no relation) said, "That was the Q-tip." The needles were, in terms of pain, the worst part of it. Dr. Jones is an excellent dentist who did an excellent job and I'm not afraid of him at all, which is good because then he revved up the drill ("RRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEER!"), and I don't know if you've been under a dental drill any time recently, but that, my friends, is one of your Come to Jesus moments. "I'll be good! I'll brush, I promise! I don't like being stabbed by a thousand mints but the new prescription fluoride toothpaste you gave me, it's actually really gentle and I really do like the taste OH GOD PUT THAT DOWN I'LL FLOSS! I'LL FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

I actually didn't feel anything, but just the sound of the three different drill bits--and trust me, you can distinguish between them, much the way that I imagine the hounds of hell have distinct individual barks--is righteously creepy.

And then there was painting and daubing and sanding and I realized... I couldn't feel my nose. "Dotta Jo, I canna fee by dose! Wheh ih by dose? WHEH DIYU BUHT BY DOSE?"

Also, when I left the office and checked the mirror afterwards, I had a weird livid patch on my lip. Almost white, like there was no blood there. Very creepy.

But it was fun, mostly--he was in a silly mood, and was asking me about the book and was doo-doo-dooing whatever came on the radio, which at that moment was "She Works Hard for the Money." "I kinda want to write a book. I could write a book about disco. Doo-doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo... What do you think about poetry? I just don't understand it, myself. Maybe I'm just ignorant."

"Seh de man wideh driw innis han!"

And he and I and the hygienist sat there and laughed for like ten minutes. You probably had to be there.



Oh, and then, he's chatting on, and he says, "You know, I'd like to write a book someday. A geopolitical book. About what's gone wrong with this country," and I'm all like, "Go Dotta Jo! Powa tooda peepa!" And then he's like, "I'd write a book like that girl... you know, she's on Fox News all the time... ANN COULTER. What's wrong? Did I hurt you with the drill?"


>> So I download the POTC2 trailer this morning (skip back one entry for screencaps, and two entries for trailer link), and an hour or so later my mother came upstairs to look for some DVD my sister (who is back on her "I'm a pastry chef and I'm okay; I school all night and I work all day" schedule) needed returned to Blockbuster or wherever. "Hey, there's a new trailer!" I holler, 'cos I'm Southern. "You wanna see it?" So she comes in--no other words were spoken. I warned her of nothing--and she has two reactions:

1) Come Put on No Dress in My Cabin: "Hee, that's cute."

2) "OMG THEY HAVE A KRAKEN?!"

I come by it honestly, y'all.


>> Kaayva Viswanathan has now been accused of plagiarizing Sophie Kinsella (!), Meg Cabot (!!), and Salman Rushdie (?). This makes for, at my last count, a total of four authors and five books that she has stolen from. Her deal is canceled, her books are being pulped. I am enjoying myself way too much over this, except for a slight twinge of sadness that someone who isn't even twenty yet could screw up her prospects this badly. Apparently, however, she has said she would rather "go into finance" rather than be a full-time writer anyway, so... it looks like she's gonna get her wish.


Linkspam:

zenzicube: "I was wondering if you could post a link to the Net Neutrality Act that's up for consideration in the House and Senate." Which I think I've mentioned before, and cannot be mentioned often enough. All you need to know is that if it doesn't go through, it's gonna cost you money, which ought to be enough of a rallying cry for anyone. (ETA: Sorry, I muddled that a bit. Net Neutrality is good. It's in a world without Net Neutrality that you'll be charged more to access various levels of the internet. I blame the dental anesthesia, sorry.)

boarderbunny: "I know you have a penchant for beautiful, colorful, and fantastical jewelry so I thought you'd like this woman's work."

lemur123: "C for Cookie" (aka "V for Vendetta by Muppets"). I think I've linked to this before, but people email me about it at least twice a week, so might as well post it again. : )

fxchip: "Canadian Music Creators Coalition: A New Voice: a coalition of Canadian music creators who are basically against what the record companies are doing, i.e. suing their fans."

careyleah: "Hey Cleo - I am shamelessly begging for linkage here. Sorry about that. It's timely though, because the 20th anniversary of Chernobyl was this past Wednesday. This organization that donates medical care to kids in the Chernobyl region (who still have tons of terrible health problems) need to raise a lot of money ($40,000) fast to get a 16 year old boy surgery to remove cancerous tumors. You can learn all about it here. They are a great group and would really appreciate any amount of support."

Comments

[jasminelily.livejournal.com]

The Sophie Kinsella allegations seem kind of crazy, it's basically the use of one or two words, and that's not much. But the Meg Cabot ones? That's SO OBVIOUS. I can't wait to see what Meg Cabot will say about that, after she's already skewered the girl (http://www.megcabot.com/diary/post.cfm/pid/1778) when it was just Megan McCafferty.

[princessstarr.livejournal.com]

You and me both. I have feeling that she's going to sound nice about it, though.

[lezopez.livejournal.com]

I am AMAZED at this whole thing with the girl "lifting passages." Actually it kinda makes me nervous, because who hasn't read a book and found a phrase you really liked, rolled it over the tongue a bit, and then like, slipped it in on a paper or something? I read a lot and it makes me wonder how much I "internalize."

Although I'm certainly not "internalizing" WHOLE PARAGRAPHS and PLOT POINTS of other books, so I guess I really shouldn't worry. I do feel kinda bad - the girl is the SAME AGE as me and now she's marked forever because she did something stupid. (Really... REALLY... stupid). On the other hand... did she really think people wouldn't notice? I guess I'm just failing to see her thought process here.

[lotusbiosm.livejournal.com]

Internalizing plot points I can kinda understand, in the "and now the mentor dies because that makes the hero have to strike out on his own" kind of way, or in the "and the villan was really the nice old man the whole time, he was just wearing a mask and using a trap door" kind of way. I can see how you internalize certain tropes that other others use well, or maybe forget that something happened exactly that way in someone else's work. There are, they say, only so many stories in the world.
But whole paragraphs? Yeah, that's straight up plagarism.

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

My dentist recently got a new office, one in which there is a TV tuned to Fox News in every exam room. Cue the "dentist comes in" portion of my visit, where my dentist barely resists the urge to pay attention to the TV.

[daemonnoire.livejournal.com]

My allergist has Fox News turned on in the small waiting room, and ESPN turned on in the big one. I have to go there once a week for shots, and despite the fact that my SO and I both are indifferent to sports (and the SO thinks the newscaster is an idiot who gets WAY too worked up over trades), we generally sit in the bigger waiting room. Because while SO gets annoyed with the sports caster, I get into a frothing fury over the bullshit on Fox News.

[missmp.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to source the "go into finance" thing, since I was the one who mentioned it on Snarkfest. It's from here (http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=512312), and it's not a direct quote. The context still makes her out to be an ass, though (the Isis is an 'elite' club):

"Viswanathan seems to be fitting in equally quite well at Harvard--socially and otherwise. She’s part of the Isis Club and a member of Women in Business, for instance, and on top of her schoolwork and her writing, she’s one of three Harvard kids working for the national student investment firm Global Platinum Securities (according to a colleague who recruited her, she recommends stocks to the company’s investment committee, and she intends to pursue finance—not writing—as a career after graduation). :

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heh, thanks.

(Ass.)

(Her, not you.)

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

The Amazon Customer Tags for the Viswanathan book are by now completely hilarious.

[spooke.livejournal.com]

Aw, man, they must have yanked it. You wouldn't happen to have screencaps, would you?

[thornae.livejournal.com]

I'm a little confused about that Net Neutrality Act link - is it a good thing for it to pass or not? The article in question seems to think it is - how will it cost money if it does?
In short, are you for it or against it?

I'm an Aussie, so there's not really much I can do in the way of writing to my congressman, but I like to keep a gloomy eye on the way things go...

[zenzicube.livejournal.com]

It's definitely a good thing. If it's not passed, there's nothing to prevent companies from creating a tiered internet where those websites who pay ISPs are preferentially treated. It also gives ISPs the ability to block or slow access to websites with information the ISPs don't like or direct traffic to their favored companies. Very insidious. The Markey Act would require companies to treat all internet content the same. It's worth mentioning that without net neutrality, there would be no Netscape, Google, or similar companies who couldn't afford the overhead to pay ISPs while developing their products.

[xlearntoflyx.livejournal.com]

"I WANT EVERYONE TO REMEMBER, COOKIES ARE A SOMETIMES FOOD!"

That absolutely SLAYS me. I love that video.

[ter369.livejournal.com]

...she has said she would rather "go into finance" rather than be a full-time writer anyway, so... it looks like she's gonna get her wish.

And there is no connection, none ever, not at all, between "plagiarism" and "fiduciary responsibility, so no problems ahead there. But there totally are.

/chick lit voice

[kestrel127.livejournal.com]

Try getting a crown put in. They sand your tooth down until it's teeny tiny and then clap something over it until you get a new crown made. Then they yank the temp off and stick the new one on. But when they're getting the new one ready, you get to feel this gaping hole in your mouth. Creepy.

[chrismouse.livejournal.com]

Hee. I'm remembering breaking my tooth last March. I was playing rugby and smashed my face into this other girl's. I managed to not only break the tooth off, but sheer the entire front part off so that I had an exposed nerve. It HURT. So I go to the dentist looking all kinds of pretty (I'd managed to break my nose as well) and he put some temporary bonding on it until he could put the crown on in July. Said bonding then proceeded to fall off FOUR TIMES. I bite into a ham sandwich, it comes off. I bite into a cookie, it comes off. (This was one of the "two front teeth" from the song, so it was a little hard to avoid using it.)I finally got the permanent crown put on, but I still live in dread of it coming off. Seriously. I have nightmares of me biting into things and my tooth falling out. I have to wake myself up and check. It's sad.

[zenzicube.livejournal.com]

Thanks for posting the link!

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

I feel like I'm old hat at fillings these days. In fact, I miss fillings. I had to get a root canal today. Imagine trying to communicate to a doctor that you're hot and clammy and about to vomit when you're tilted upside down with a plastic tent covering your entire mouth. And when I said "I ee oo it uuuh. Eh ee it uuuh. (I need to sit up. Let me sit up)" and yanked off the nitrous and my headphones, the dentist yells "Hold on a minute!" So he finally stops, I sit up, and as soon as they get the plastic tent off I promptly vomit. Good tiiiimes.

Children, go to your dentist regularly. Get your checkups, get your fillings filled, and get your broken teeth fixed before you wind up needing a root canal. It fucking sucks.

[kijikun.livejournal.com]

Dude, my dentist is "if you have any discomfort at all raise your left hand". And he's very generous with the drugs. Root canals do suck, so do fillings, just not as much as root canals.

[starr234.livejournal.com]

I read last month that your memory takes a steep dive at the age of twenty, which explains both why teenagers (including me as one) have such an extensive grasp of trivia and why I suddenly went stupid at the age of twenty-one.

Oh my god. This explains everything. I've been wondering what the hell happened to me after I graduated from college.

It's not just me!

[stargategirl82.livejournal.com]

Thank goodness it is not just me; i totally thought I got hit by the stupid stick when I graduated from undegrad!

[shesnotallthere.livejournal.com]

I remember when I got my top wisdom teeth pulled. My dentist was pregnant, so they couldn't give me gas. I had Novocaine, and while it numbed me up but good, I still wish I hadn't been stone-cold sober when she started yanking at my teeth with the Pliers of Doom. As with the drill, it was the noise that got me. Metal crunching against enamel, and the cracking sound when the tooth finally gave it up...ugh.

And the jewlery is pretty, especially the snake.

I don't know if you watch The Office

[fortuna-juvat.livejournal.com]

But I thought you should know that Michael (Steve Carrell) is a Heroine addict. :)

Re: I don't know if you watch The Office

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeeeeeeee.

[firefly-ca.livejournal.com]

I read last month that your memory takes a steep dive at the age of twenty, which explains both why teenagers (including me as one) have such an extensive grasp of trivia and why I suddenly went stupid at the age of twenty-one. I'm serious, I think I remember the day I actually went stupid.

God, tell me about it. Only I started to feel my memory slipping when I hit 16. Ever since then it's all been downhill. I dunno, maybe it's more that you stop learning so many new things that your brain gets out of the habit but I don't like it one bit, Goddammit. I keep fighting it, too. Like at work I'll start reciting "The Highwayman" or "The Cremation of Sam McGee" or something just to make sure I still can. And sometimes I can't do it. And then I get really mad, because I pride myself in being a storehouse of pointless information and if rhyming ghost robbers and talking corpses aren't pointless, what is?

I'm getting too worked up about this. I should just forget about it. Ha.

C is for Cookie? I haven't even seen V is for Vendetta (I know, I know, it's on my list) and I think that's the funniest thing ever.

[k-joy.livejournal.com]

*phew*

I thought it was just me who lost mental memory space upon turning 22!! It also happened at a time when my drinking habits changed (from no alcohol whatsoever to a few -or more- drinks whenever I went out, which was almost everyday!)..started feeling very stupid and dumb all of a sudden :-/ Now I cut down my intake in case I kill off more brain cells lol

[edda.livejournal.com]

These days, I can't even remember who won Best Actress two years ago, so clearly it's all Flowers for Algernon up in here.

*narrowly misses peeing on self with laughter*

And, yeah? Wait 'til you hit your thirties, Missy. I have been answering the phone at work with the standard greeting for ten hours at a clip, and I have literally, when sufficiently tired and sleep-deprived, blanked out on MY OWN NAME. Start on the gingko biloba now, is what I'm telling you.

(P.S. I think it's "threshhold" with two H's.)

Joking With Dentists is like a hallowed tradition with me. I make extremely blue jokes at my current dentist, who laughs (albeit sometimes uncomfortably) and I made Bad Sitcom jokes with my last dentist, who was an occasional Elvis impersonator (and totally HAWT, in a Boy Scout sort of way) and a Bad Sitcom-funny kind of guy. (The last really dirty-ish thing I said to my current dentist back in December was, "I went to my gynecologist yesterday and now I'm lying down again. You two should share an office so I could get everything done at once." OK, you had to be there, too.)

Re: the POTC2 trailer: I pray that if I'm good, I will wake up as Keira Knightley during that shoot. And I will max0r both of them (O & J) until my eyes cross.

[edda.livejournal.com]

Also, as you see from this (http://edda.livejournal.com/222886.html), I am search of recipes. Would Sister Girl know what to do with these? If that's not like a buttload of trouble to ask after; she's the only foodish person I know (of) right now, except one girl I work with who's sadly out of commission for the moment.

[angelene.livejournal.com]

I had half-a-panic-attack by just reading about the "drilling". yuck.

I'm going brushing/flossing/whatevah NOW.

re: the Coulter issue: I feel a tiny twinge of sadness for any person who would resolve to do something like that AND think they could get away with it (and I'm shocked she did get as far as being published, actually... don't editors, like, read?), for the same reasons as you do.

re: the Algernon Threshold: (1) I'm glad I'm not the only one who's suffering from (having flown through and past) it *sigh*, (2) I too could mark the day I thought I was 'going stupid' all at sudden, except I hadn't drunk and I blamed it on depression and/or anemia, as they, surprisingly, sounded like better and more comforting excuses at the time, and (3) I'm rather positive that's how Threshold is written (two 'h's -- not that I would believe for a moment that you'd not know or remember ;)) as that's how it was for the (now cancelled?) TV show.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

not that I would believe for a moment that you'd not know or remember

Well, I admit to checking the dictionary before I hit post. But I *was* wrong before that, which is distressing, as I was Teh Spelling Bee Champeen of All Time in my youth.

[scotchwhisky.livejournal.com]

I had to have a filling last spring, which didn't work out so well, so had it adjusted, then had to have it REDONE, and may have to get a crown. Damn dentists.

You did spell threshold properly. There is but one H.

Someone who's 17-19 should know plagiarism. Not cool at all. Although this reminds me: Did you have to get any copyright permission to do your book from the movie people? Just wondering.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, two h's, technically. As opposed to three. : )

And no, I didn't have to get any permission--Orion would have handled that anyway, but my understanding is that parody is protected. Now, if I had wanted to write just about anything else about those movies, yeah, I might have needed permission.

Heh.

[ricyos.livejournal.com]

These days, I can't even remember who won Best Actress two years ago, so clearly it's all Flowers for Algernon up in here.

Not to malign fading memories or anything, but this made me smile.

[bluekermit.livejournal.com]

You made me miss going to the dentist. That's how good you are.

WHEH DIYU BUHT BY DOSE?

*dies laughing*

[spooke.livejournal.com]

HOLY CRAP. I was just thinking the flowers for Algernon thing the day before yesterday! Either you caught the stupid virus from me or you are engaging in remote brain plagiarism!

I would do something about it, but I can't remember what. What was I talking about? Why did I come in here again? Oh, look! Livejournal is on!

[careyleah.livejournal.com]

Thanks for posting my link - much appreciated!

And I hate the dentist, but you still made me laugh. :)

[yarha.livejournal.com]

Ahh, dentist visits. It's a good thing dentists can amuse themselves, 'cause it's hard to joke when you're whacked out on anesthetic.

I laughed and laughed at your numb-prose: 'powah tooda peepa', indeed.

And to think the Aztecs (Mayans?) did tooth inlays for decoration. One wonders if the shaman/dentist exhibited his fantastic conversational ability during such procedures:

"You know, Quetzalcoatl isn't a hard god to please. The priest said he just wants your heart. Get it? RRRRRrrrr.." MMMF!

Yarha, Shining Ivories

[bardintraining.livejournal.com]

I'd be worried to have her as my hapless banker. What if Ms. Viswanathan starts to "internalize" my finances, which are meagre to begin with?
O_o