Notes from the Homefront

[cleolinda]

Horoscope of Eerie Accuracy:

Quickie: Step back and analyze a recent conversation -- tiny details offer valuable clues.

Overview: Your head is all a-whirl with grandiose ideas, but force yourself to look at the finer issues as well as the attention-getting ones. Make sure you follow up on all your commitments, large and small. 
 
Don't pinch pennies only to end up blowing dollars. In other words, it's no good brown-bagging it every day for a week if you just blow your savings on a stack of new CDs or yet another pair of black shoes. Watch your cash flow and general spending habits very carefully, especially if your emotions are on high -- you don't want to indulge in retail therapy now. Find other alternatives when it comes to handling stressful situations.

---

A sad event in the internet community, as reported on Fandom Lounge: "I just wanted to inform people here on JF that Kielle passed away Thursday night. kielle, also known as _redpanda_ on LJ and JF, was an incredibly highly influential person on online fandom. Her founding of CFAN, the archive of archives for comics fandom, was only the beginning. In her LOTR-fan-mode, she was a founder or influential in the creation of many journal-based RPGs, most notably MESPT*. And of course, on LJ, she was the creator of metaquotes, marysues, iconaddicts, and dozens more communities that I can't even begin to list. She will be greatly missed."

---

Random notes:

>> Have felt like crap the last few days--muscle aches all over, which may be some illness going around or... not, I totally don't know. I need to go back to the doctor about the whole polycystic whatever thing, so that may be involved as well. It's not a hangover, though, because it's been going on too long for that, but I did go out last night, and it was actually rather a busy night, what with Gold Nugget the Lovely Emily picking out her new cell number at the Cingular store (and I do mean pick out; she ended up behind the guy's desk debating which number would be easier to remember. I talked her out of something-something-444, because previously she had had something-something-666, which used to freak my shit out, but really, after ###-#666, ###-#444 is just a comedown. It's only the Neighbor Two Doors Down of the Beast, or something), and then us grabbing dinner at Moe's, and then going to see Junebug (which was... interesting, for sure. But if you live in the South, you will recognize everyone and everything in this movie, which is the freaky part), and then going out with some friends to a bar with "Tavern" in the name, and the sad thing is that "Tavern in the name" doesn't even narrow it down for that particular shopping center, and we did, in fact, end up at Tavern on the Wrong initially. The good news is that we had the Happiest Bartender on Earth. Seriously, this guy was jazzed. This guy was the Disneyland of bartenders. He even put two cherries in my second whiskey sour, at which point I endeavored to practice my stem-tying skills, and I'll be damned if I hadn't managed a rudimentary knot by the time we were in the parking lot. Grey Goose drinks are only $5 on Thursdays, so we'll probably be back.

>> Oh! That reminds me! The Lovely Emily wants to start a dirty verbal revolution. We were watching Invasion the other night, and you may remember that the blonde doctor/ex-wife/wife/mother chick ended up naked and unconscious in a swamp. Also, discovered by her ex-husband, current husband, and teenage son, which is possibly the definition of "awkward." So Current Husband, better known to you and me as The Fitch, is trying to revive Naked Blonde Chick, and The Lovely Emily blurts out, "That boy is WAYYY too close to his mother's tang." Now, it turns out that the woman's wrapped in a blanket or a towel or something, but given the blocking of the shot, we can't see that, and it totally, totally looks like the most awkward, inappropriate situation ever, and only made worse when the son kneels down to speak to his resuscitated mother, provoking a scream of "HE IS SITTING ON HIS MOTHER'S TANG!" across the couch from me. She has not stopped saying this word since. I, for my part, find it to be an inventive reclamation of slang for the female anatomy, and--as a word with everyday meanings in its own right--perfect for going about talking about dirty things without people knowing what you're saying. As in, "All men in space should have tang. And some of the women, too." Use it far, use it wide, high and low, wherever you go. In conclusion, tang: It's good for you.

>> Lily Rose, who is AWESOME, sold me her imp of Glitter, which, as you will recall, 1) is currently discontinued and 2) smells like bubblegum and My Little Ponies. MMMMMMM.

>> Okay, I initially posted this elsewhere, but I'm still agog at the whole thing, so I'm just going to repost it here. My sister, who's never cleaned a thing in her entire life because she's germ-phobic (which, oddly, translates to "I never clean, because there are germs" instead of "I must clean, because there are germs"), got it into her head to scour the entire hall bathroom tonight while I was out with friends. Seriously, I came home and was nearly blinded by white tile when I turned on the bathroom light. The old bathtub, which I had despaired of ever getting really clean, had been scrubbed bone-white. This was totally awesome, particularly since we share the bathroom despite the fact that she's got a bathroom inside her own room and shouldn't actually crowd me out of a second bathroom, but DOES ANYWAY, and then never cleans after herself to boot.

Here's what's not so awesome: she went through all the half-empty shampoos and conditioners (I've used the same brand for years now, so most of those were hers) and bath paraphernalia and everything in the cabinet and threw away everything we don't use. Except her idea of "we don't use" actually translates to "she doesn't see me use," and she threw away a bottle of shower gel I was trying to get the last inch out of, some old soap STILL IN THE HANDY WATERPROOF CONTAINER rather than take it out first, two bottles of body splash I use on rare occasions, a bag from the dentist's with floss and a new toothbrush I was saving for when I wanted to throw my current brush away, and the month-old spot cream I USE EVERY FRICKIN' NIGHT WTF. So I'm up at four in the morning (don't ask) rooting through a slimy garbage bag trying to retrieve my rightful property. AUGH.

Oh, P.S.? She threw away THE SOAP. The BRAND-NEW bar of SOAP. What the hell?

I feel really bad getting this angry at her because she did all this work FOR ONCE, but--dude, you threw away THE SOAP? What the fuck?

>> Wait--Bryan Ferry wants to be my friend on MySpace?

---

 
Linkspamorama:

Roger Ebert brings the snark again: This movie is an affront to cheese. Also to breasts.

The Book Spoiler needs help with... well, full-length book spoilers.

Hilarious answers from British school exams:

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

"Hustle" Star [Taryn Manning] Survives JetBlue Scare.

Snopes on Katrina crime: A carjacker/rapist shot dead at the scene of a crime is real. Only thing is... it happened in Georgia, with native Georgians. No bloodthirsty evacuees, in other words. Also, the "4500 unregistered sex offenders set free from prison" isn't exactly true, either:

What the Louisiana Department of Corrections reported was that nearly 4,500 registered sex offenders lived in the 14 parishes hit by Hurricane Katrina — these were not criminals who were simply let out of prison after the storm hit, but persons convicted of sex-related crimes who had already served their sentences or were on probation and were therefore required to maintain their current addresses in the state's database of sex offenders.

Unlike other states such as Florida, Louisiana has no policy requiring the jailing of some registered sex offenders during storms or evacuations, so many of those listed in the state's sex offender database likely ended up in shelters or other communities throughout Louisiana, or possibly in other states.

We remain puzzled about how the anonymous author of this piece could claim to have heard about the "4,500 sex offenders that were let out of prison" on a national news program while simultaneously maintaining that "You won't hear this on the news as the media will not let this out."

Refineries See Some Damage, Dodge Bullet.

Brian Williams blogs from "the hot zone."

A link I ran across while there at MSNBC, and must be included for total awesomeness: Aussie punches attacking shark.


I leave you now to seek out sustenance.


   

Comments

[crantz.livejournal.com]

Man. You were part of this discussion elsewhere, Kielle not getting credit for what she did do and them heaping other peoples stuff on her. That mespt thing just keeps making me twitch.

Everyone should take a look at all the pages she ran, that you can find at www.subreality.com

Poor Kielle :/

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

mespt? I just copied the entry over (and edited a few JF-centric things out)--what's that about?

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

It's very, very hard to encompass kielle's accomplishments in statistics. Despite the raw number of groups she was either influential in or instrumental in creating, her legacy will always be her fostering community between disparate people with one unifying link. Very few brought people together like Kelly -- she'll be greatly missed, by her friends and even people who never knew her. Thanks for giving her a shout-out.

[akathorne.livejournal.com]

>> Lily Rose, who is AWESOME, sold me her imp of Glitter, which, as you will recall, 1) is currently discontinued and 2) smells like bubblegum and My Little Ponies. MMMMMMM.

Ha! If I'd realized it would have made you so happy, I would have gift-wrapped it or something. It's always so fun to make someone else happy.

[mllemoony.livejournal.com]

Except her idea of "we don't use" actually translates to "she doesn't see me use,"

Aw, that sucks. My dad does it all the time with my bathroom too. It's nice that he gives me toothpaste when I need it and stuff, but then things keep randomly disappearing.

[corruptedjasper.livejournal.com]

You never, ever, throw away stuff that's not yours without checking with the owner. She could as easily have sorted out all the stuff she felt was unused and put it all on the kitchen counter with a note to the effect of "I think this is fit for the trashcan. Agree (Y/N)?"

[iczer6.livejournal.com]

In light of recent news I would encourage you to go to the doctor.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Recent news?

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Hmm, yes, 'tang' does sound handy. Can I nominate 'wang' as the male equivalent?

How's your twitch, by the way?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Fading a little bit, but that's contingent on staying off the computer a good bit.

[mekania.livejournal.com]

Not that this is relevant to anything in your post whatsoever but I just picked up my order of Venus in Boston (it seems that no bookstore on the face of the planet has it in stock) and I can't wait to read it!

[mandy0x.livejournal.com]

I was just reading [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]'s entry where she told everyone she had cancer and I looked at the date. She went reaaally quick.

[lezopez.livejournal.com]

I am SO SAD about Kielle. CFAN (specifically Say What) was the one of my first real introductions to online fandoms and being, well, hilarious, online

[ainbthen.livejournal.com]

I used to live where you do, and I've eaten at both of those restaurants with 'Tavern' in the name. We thought the lower one was better. Though once the Cheesecake Factory moved in, that was where we ate the most. I miss that area, they had the best shopping. There is a really neat little anime rental/manga/graphic novel/gaming store just up and behind the Summit.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Huh--I'd never been to either one before, and we ended up going to the one at the top. Interesting that the lower one may be better...

[gabsy.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I want to see a new edition of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar with "Tee Hee, Brutus!". That's the kind of quote that goes down in History.

[mandy0x.livejournal.com]

I feel really bad getting this angry at her because she did all this work FOR ONCE, but--dude, you threw away THE SOAP? What the fuck?

Heh!

[boarderbunny.livejournal.com]

wow, Roger Ebert is quite witty, I never noticed before. I'm going to start reading him more often.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, every now and then he totally cuts loose. Seriously, whenever I come across a gem of his, I save it somewhere:

The Hot Chick: "Half an hour into the movie, the reel caught on fire. This was the best part of The Hot Chick."

Ebert gave the original cut of The Brown Bunny zero stars. Vincent Gallo, the director/star/writer/composer/caterer, wished cancer on him and mocked his weight. In reply: "I will one day be thin, but Vincent Gallo will always be the director of 'The Brown Bunny.'"

In response to whining from Rob Schneider about someone else's review: "But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, [according to Schneider] Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" while passing on the opportunity to participate in "Million Dollar Baby," "Ray," "The Aviator," "Sideways" and "Finding Neverland." As chance would have it, I HAVE won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I *am* qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks."

[whiski_sour]

Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

I'm gonna have to change my icon.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I can't WAIT for Ciaran Hinds to kick it on HBO's Rome so I can make a "Tee hee" icon of it.

[ninepointfivemm.livejournal.com]

I actually started knowing Kielle from MESPT. It hits me hard that she died, because she was a BNF-in-a-totally-un-BNF-way and I thought she was a really cool person.

[bingodoggy.livejournal.com]

"Tee hee, Brutus." Part of me would be extremely tempted to give the kid points for that, just because it's funny.

[ambiguousreason.livejournal.com]

Tang, bwahahaha. I'm totally going to start using that now.

Re: the Roger Ebert movie review, I can only say: Oh. My. God. It's so hilarious yet horrifying at the same time, you know?

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

Mmkay so the thing about the surfer punching a shark...have you ever heard of or seen Dane Cook? He's a comedian...I think hes funny..

Anyway...he has a sketch about seeing a guy on the news who escaped being eaten by a shark...its a little crude(?) at times, I guess.

"He got bit by like a shark..the shark let him go. He was telling the story of it, they brought him back to the beach, which is just where he fuckin wants to be, anywhere near the ocean again.

And the news reporter was just like 'What happened, why did the shark attack you? Were you taunting it?'

'Yeah, I go into the sea sometimes just to fuck around with the sharks. I have this thing its called a shark rocket and I like to shoot it at them. And it really annoys them. And I just wade in the water and they came at me, but I'm really good at eluding them. I know this hip move - its something porpoises do - and I pretend I have a bottle neck and I stab them in the gills and it really is effective.'

He pulled up his shirt it was like [sound effects] he had the bite, right fuckin there. he told the story. He was like 'It was like 12 feet long, and I was just swimming and then all of a sudden 'ow'...'oooh no''

Right so this fuckin sh-...and she goes 'Well, how did you get away?'

'I-I punched it...and he..let me go.'

Lets recap this...a fuckin SHARK comin through the water and this guy heeeey the fuckin shark goes [sound effect] goes over to this guy, bites [sound effects], this guy PUNCHES it in the face and the shark goes 'ALL RIGHT!'

And tell me there is no time in your life when you swim faster than when a shark lets you go....[screaming sounds], you get to the land [more screaming]. A f'in shark lets you go...if you dont get pussy with that story..."

Yeah...its pretty long...and it goes on longer but it wasn't really as relevant as all this...

[princessstarr.livejournal.com]

HEE! Screw relevancy, any excuse to quote the Dane is a good one. Have you seen the trailer for Waiting? Total crap of a movie, but Dane's hysterical.

[kittygopounce.livejournal.com]

Very sad to hear of kielle's passing.

In other sharky news ... today, another guy was attacked by a shark while diving (I think) off Kangaroo Island in South Australia. He escaped anything too serious (he was busy chatting to journalists even as they wheeled him into hospital, lol) but he was diving in a dangerous area (due to the current in that area a lot of whale carcasses wash up there, and the beach he was on is home to many, many seals. Both of these attract sharks. Lots of big, toothy sharks). This year is unusually sharky. :\

[awff7.livejournal.com]

I'm just wondering...but is it just my computer or is that site with the answers from British school exams refusing people's connections?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

It wouldn't let me in for a little while, either. Because it's been linked in a couple of places, the server may be overloaded--try it a bit later.

[onlyinlexington.livejournal.com]

Please Note: This is a tribute profile. It is not maintained by the real Bryan Ferry. I created it for fans, like you and me, to network and express our admiration for his work. And I assure you I have made every effort to portray him as accurately and respectfully as possible. Should the real Bryan Ferry ever join, I will certainly let you know. With that said, please feel free to play along.

- "Brian Ferry"'s Myspace :) my apologies if you already picked up on it


And that Yahoo astrology thing was eerily right with me; a few days ago I did a mock strip-tease Britney Spears thing in front of my class and I'm a guy so.. it was funny, and it says on Yahoo that I'm letting out my inner performance or something o_O

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heh. I suspected that, even if it was an "official" presence, it was run by entirely by a webmaster who was just adding people who listed Ferry as an interest.

[aeglos85.livejournal.com]

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

i'd say condiments instead of commandments... that would be spiffy

[rectpropagation.livejournal.com]

the whole polycystic whatever thing

May I be nosy and ask polycystic what? (I've got PCOS)

I love funny exam answers. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

So Romans won't let you have sleeves and the British force you to wear them all of the time?

Hey, have you read the proof on whether Hell is exothermic or endothermic? It's awesome.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's PCOS. I try to be kind of humorous/vague about it, though.

[missmp.livejournal.com]

That horoscope is eerily accurate. Note to self: the week before quitting your job is not a good time to decide you really need a facial and many expensive skin products. Duh.

[sweetdaddydavid.livejournal.com]

This weekend I dreamed that you and Emily were my sisters and you still lived with my parents (but in a much bigger house). I came over and you guys had a surprise party for my birthday. When dreamDavid realized that my birthday is in May, not Septemember, I woke up.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee. I love getting edumacated every Septemember.