(no subject)

[cleolinda]

*rolls in Narnia stills*

So I saw The Brothers Grimm Friday night (points to icon), and I really liked it. Except it's the kind of movie that you like for the movie it could have been, not the movie it actually is. It's extremely hectic and haphazardly thrown together, and I say this as a Terry Gilliam fan, so it's not like I'm new to his style or anything. If you're a fairy tale buff (I am), you'll love it, but some of the references were worked in better than others. There's one that sticks out so badly that it's little more than five minutes of WTF; the best references are the visual ones that you might even miss the first time around. Okay, look: the gingerbread man is the WTF part. Most of the best touches center around the Mirror Queen, who combines Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, and Princess and the Pea elements (and maybe a teensy bit of Poe's "The Red Death") without breaking a sweat. Also, she is Monica Bellucci, and she pretty. The missing children in the crypts are a great touch, and while Red Riding Hood and "Hans and Greta" deserve Darwin Awards, they're used to good effect. But then there's a weird Cinderella-glass-slipper/Twelve Dancing Princesses thing with the twelve girls that I didn't quite get because... it didn't really seem to serve any purpose. I mean, the Queen is drinking a potion made of their blood and... they start to tap their toes in the crypts? What does that... accomplish, exactly?

That's the kind of movie it was--great imagery, great ideas, slightly slipshod execution. The movie would zip the characters back and forth between the village of Marbaden and--well, I don't know where Jonathan Pryce's headquarters were, exactly. You'd be sitting there going, "Wait, how did Angelika and the brothers get dragged back to the torture room? Isn't it several miles away? When did that happen?" That, and I spent at least an hour of the movie wanting to stab Peter Stormare and put him out of my misery, but Cavaldi grew on me in the last, oh, ten minutes enough that I forgive him. But Matt Damon and Heath Ledger (especially Ledger) and Lena Headey were all excellent and I would go see it again.

El spam de links:

Summary Executions' greatest hits. Basically, awful fanfic summaries (Harry Potter fics in particular, I think) have been compiled for your reading hilarity. ABSOLUTE favorite: "A story of pain and sorrow, not intented for comfort or laughter...a story that remains untold, on of abuse and blood...telling of a shattered girl who learned to twist a heart of stone into one of warm gold. This is not a story for the faint of heart, nor the happy in spirit. But for those who are able to understand what it means to be hurt...to watch as a girl's spirit is shattered like glass upon concrete. Watch as she melts the young master's heart of ice, and watch as she helps him heal. She has no name, but his...is Señor Draco." Seriously. I am going to start ending random sentences that way. "Where are you going?" "To the grocery store. With... Señor Draco."

Look at the first footnote on this one, as particle_person pointed out to me. Speaking as a Southerner, I can vouch for the truth of this. Hell, you've probably seen me do it myself.

Internet-scam Nigerians are coming to kill us all!!

Tom Cruise's lawyers: "Our client did NOT dress as a girl multiple times!" Defamer: "Wait, multiple times? We didn't hear that part of the story..."

A McSweeney's introduction by Lemony Snicket. Excerpt:

"But if you're a wizard," asked Henry, "why can't you just defeat the Shadow Lord and his army of vicious porcupines with a wave of your wand?"

"That's a good question, young Henry," replied Thistlewing. "You'd better sit down, because I'm going to take the next nine pages to explain what wizards can and cannot do in this particular magical land."

Comments

[ruination.livejournal.com]

I loved the Brothers Grimm too! My mum hated it. I thought it was cute. SLightly insane, but adorable.

[blue_ant]

I was worried that James wouldn't be cute. I'm so glad that he still is.

[dduane.livejournal.com]

(sigh) Looks like that last one got deleted. Or something.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Nah, I think I just muffed up the link. Let me see if I can fix it...

[sophia-helix.livejournal.com]

I liked Grimm much, much better than the reviews told me I would, but the entire audience was so confused by the Gingerbread Man part, mostly because the two little girls looked exactly alike and we thought the first one had come back from the dead.

But...almost some brotherslash there, for a moment! Mm. *g*

[arpeggiodreams.livejournal.com]

More than that!

I swear I swear I swear when they're dragged in front of the Generale, one of the crimes they're accused of is BUGGERY!

I laughed so hard.

[maeritrae.livejournal.com]

That link about the Nigerian scam artists has a < b > tag in it that means you get sent to the Oral-B website...

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Dude, my coding is seriously crap today.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

it didn't really seem to serve any purpose. I mean, the Queen is drinking a potion made of their blood and... they start to tap their toes in the crypts? What does that... accomplish, exactly?

They're thinking: There's no place like home, there's no place like home...eep bugs!
---

(The internet-Nigerians link is broken, I think.)

[aeglos85.livejournal.com]

ZOMGZWTF.... <333 i am in total love with Narnia. best books ever. i hope Disney doesn't break my heart with this movie. D: i know i'm gonna be all HAHA I READ THE BOOKS... FOOOOOLSSSZZZSSZ when it comes out. * blushes*

[aeglos85.livejournal.com]

and HARRHARR, i love the Señor Draco thing... definite new sentence-ending fad.

[evilbearhunter.livejournal.com]

I liked the movie too, but it just begs to be made fun of. I mean, that part at the end? The very end, with the brothers and Angelika and the kind of… wait, WHAT did she just do, exactly?

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Honestly? I think she effectively said, "I don't love you guys. Let's just be friends," and took off. In my dirty imagination, she suggested a threesome. Go figure.

[tabbyclaw.livejournal.com]

You said pretty much exactly what I was thinking about Brothers Grimm. A nice way to spend a couple hours, but definitely catch the matinee.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_skye_/]

Just to throw people off you can alternate "With...Senor Draco!" with the one we use around here, "with...a herring!"

Totally LOL'd at that. Snorted and everything!

[fishsanwitt]

I have to agree with you on the gingerbread man in 'The Brothers Grimm'. Truly a 'wtf' moment for both my husband and I.

[marumae.livejournal.com]

I'm going to jump in an give this a hearty WORD. Though the spider and the horse thing left me with a mighty OH MY GOD *looks away in aldkfja;ldkf keyboard mashyness*

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

I liked The Brothers Grimm.

I read the missing producer thing in the local paper, and my first (and continuing) thought was that it was a hoax on the part of the producer, and has nothing to do with Nigerians unless he lost his money to them and that's why he faked his death and ran away.

If they find his body I'll be sorry I said that.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

He's alive-- read the link for details.

[duncanatrix.livejournal.com]

I was kind of disappointed in Brothers Grimm, I had higher expectations. There were several times when it didn't flow, things happened with no warning, etc. etc. It could have been better, I think.

[travelsizedoug.livejournal.com]

Don't drown in Katrina :(

[rediexpressgrl.livejournal.com]

I can't wait to see the movie I keep asking my mome to go with me but for some odd reason she just wants to know the Disney version of the fairy tales.

[kashmir1.livejournal.com]

Senor Draco?

*rolls around laughing*

Oh, I so needed that! I'm not having a good week already and it's only Sunday afternoon. Thanks. ♥

[reynardine.livejournal.com]

I saw Bros. Grimm yesterday...agree that a lot of pleasure was seeing what could have been as opposed to what was actually given to us on screen. Loved the sets and costumes and fairy-tale elements, but the acting was, um, less than good. Some of the accents were dreadful. It's too bad, because I really wanted to like that movie.

Lots of interesting elements, but the film just didn't seem to gel, you know?

[solielle.livejournal.com]

Man, I liked Brother's Grimm, but would have loved it if the editing had been a just a tiny bit tighter. Also, if Wilhelm has stayed dead and maybe if there had been just a few more refrences to really obscure fairy tales. Like with the way the girls were being carried away. I mean the Gingerbread Man? Way to go from utterly creepy to beffudlement in two point five seconds, movie.

[leucocrystal]

Seriously. I am going to start ending random sentences that way. "Where are you going?" "To the grocery store. With... Señor Draco."

BAHAHAAHA.  That, if anything, makes me want to hunt you down, and shadow you while you run errands.

Bagger at Grocery Store: Paper or plastic?
Cleo: I think I'll take plastic. ...with Señor Draco.
Bagger: ....... *runs*

LMAO. ♥

That bad fanfiction summaries thing?  Makes me laugh way more than I should.  But only because there are summaries like that for ANY fandom fanfiction.  Honestly, they make the baby Jesus cry.  But only because he's laughing so hard.

And that footnote about Southerners?  Heh, I say the same things, I just don't add the "bless them" thing at the front.  But that's because I'm snarky. ;)

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Cleo and other SFers: Cheetara stopped by the Katrina thread. She is in Atlanta, and safe.

[arayuldaiel.livejournal.com]

Okay, that Snicket link is freaking hilarious. I would totally read a book about Paul Revere hitting the King of Teddy Bear Land.

Also, thought you might find this amusing:

LiveJournal Username:

LJ Stalker Finder (http://www.go-quiz.com/stalker/stalker.php)
From Go-Quiz.com (http://www.go-quiz.com)

Tsk, tsk!

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

I like this one particularly well.:

A decade ago, Draco fled his home, and gland, and met Morigyn.

[saiyajenn.livejournal.com]

I can't believe I read all of those bad fan fiction summaries they were too funny. I keep erupting in laughter every time I think of this one:
Everyone fucks in the highlands, everyone's hot in the highlands, wolf fucks dog in the highlands, Dumbledore fucks no Americans!

I was inspired:

[luleh.livejournal.com]

I was surprised by how much I liked Grimm and oddly, I chalk that up to Damon and Ledger, wich suprised me even more since I don't much like either of them. Ledger in particular tends to just trudge through his movies and bore me stupid. But the movie had problems, definitely and I think it would have been better served by cutting the Stormare character and the Price character. Like you said, there was too much movement between the village and the headquarters of the French Army. Why not keep things in the village? It would have made for a smoother movie.

[lyricalnights.livejournal.com]

No real comment; just wanted to use this icon (made by tarie!