On the second day of Sparklemas...

[cleolinda]

...my blogger gave to me: two feline chagrins and an article written by the AP. With my "team" preference, as promised.

Team Edward vs. Team Jacob: Which side are you on?

Christy did tell me that the article was edited for space--although she did insist on keeping my team preference in, because I told her y'all were looking forward to that--so my thoughts on Jacob were cut short and look a bit dismissive in the context of the article please don't hurt me. I also pointed out that Jacob, too, is a combination good boy/bad boy--he's the werewolf next door, and in the movies, he's played by this apple-cheeked kid who, for all his attempts at romantically frustrated brooding, looks a lot less rebellious than Vampire Without a Cause over there; he's most appealing (IMO) in the first half of New Moon when he's all smiles. But, as has been proven with other characters in the pack, Jacobwolf could also hulk out and claw your face off. So the way the characters look and have been cast in the movies has really highlighted the dual nature they both have, and yet they still fulfill separate fantasies.

What I also said--and a lot more of what I said made it in than I thought would--was the "team" you choose in a rivalry like this has a lot to do with what you feel is missing in your life. That is to say, that's the point of fantasy; we don't fantasize about things we already have. And... all broodings being equal, I could really use someone who's educated, well-read, financially stable, and hygienic in my life. (I hate to pull an inside reference on you guys, but good God, could I use someone who cleans up nice. Someone who cleans up, period.) If you could surgically remove the fuckwittery from these two characters--I think you can tell which type I would prefer. But unless this third movie--where a large percentage of the asshaberdashery happens--underwent some drastic rewrites (and it sounds like it didn't), you can't, so I'm firmly Team... well. You've read the article.

(Let it also be noted that I am available for sensible, well-informed quotes on a vast number of non-Twilight topics, including but not limited to Harry Potter, LOTR (omg breaking news: Peter Jackson directing, y'all), Narnia, Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Dracula, True Blood, vampires in general--hell, 19th-century literature in general. I studied Renaissance drama, sentimental literature and two foreign languages! I have half a master's degree! I WAS A LIBERAL ARTS MAJOR. WILL OPINIONATE FOR FOOD.)

Speaking of rewrites, word from someone who's seen the movie is that there is no werenose fistbump. I am disappoint.


Meanwhile, Edward Cullen Cat is losing his will to dazzle:

LOOK AT THAT PRECIOUS BABY FACE. I have never before seen a cat that had puppy dog eyes. I'm withholding the link to his location at this point because a reader is going to call the store and see if she can adopt him for her mother, so maybe we'll have a happy ending after all.

OMG BREAKING NEWS: In case you didn't see the link buried in a paragraph above, our long international nightmare is over: PETER JACKSON WILL DIRECT THE HOBBIT.

Comments

[cupcake-goth.livejournal.com]

EDWARD CULLEN CAT! Oh, poor baby. If we didn't have three cats already, I would have been dragging The Husband down to the shop to possibly adopt.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah... I not only have three dogs and a cat, I'm on the other side of the country. Also that.

BUT I WANT HIM. I would name him Polar Bear, after Cleveland Amory's cat that he wrote all the books about. Well, probably more like "Polabear," given my accent, but there you are.

[litlover12.livejournal.com]

I have never seen that much chagrin in one being, human or animal.

I thought the werenose fistbump came in "Breaking Dawn"? Or am I thinking of a different werenose fistbump?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Nope, it's in Eclipse, right after Edward and Seth kill Victoria and Riley. That's pretty much the last action scene in the entire series.

[quorothorn.livejournal.com]

"I WAS A LIBERAL ARTS MAJOR. WILL OPINIONATE FOR FOOD."

That's our rallying cry, isn't it?

Honestly, the only part of that article I read were the bits from you. Good enough for me.

[krazycat.livejournal.com]

I hear ya. I have a Master's degree in music, so obviously I work for a software firm.

[glenvorian.livejournal.com]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS PETER JACKSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[r-a-black.livejournal.com]

Yay for the Hobbit! *dances about*

[coneycat.livejournal.com]

If I wasn't way up here in Nova Scotia, and if it wasn't for the fact Vlad would KILL me if I brought him another brother, I would adopt Edward Cullen Cat and RENAME HIM SOMETHING SENSIBLE. At a minimum, he could be Ed Lane (http://flashpoint-wiki.wetpaint.com/page/Ed+Lane) Cat...

Also, good call on your "team." It's really the only sensible choice.

[morganwolf.livejournal.com]

I was almost tempted to try and adopt Edward Cullen Cat, except I live in New York. Also, I don't like cats that much. But he might have changed me. HE MIGHT HAVE WARMED MY FROZEN HEART WITH HIS ICY MARBLE FUR.

[barrelgoddess.livejournal.com]

Just want to express some serious icon love. ♥ Clerks the animated series~

[glenvorian.livejournal.com]

Nobody has adopted Edward yet? Oh man. :( Breaks my heart.

[himhilien.livejournal.com]

I wish I could adopt the kitty. I really hope the person you mentioned is able to adopt him or someone else can real soon.

Yay, Peter Jackson!

[edda.livejournal.com]

*ICON LOVE*

[katheli.livejournal.com]

I don't get why there even are 'teams'. I read all the books very closely to each other without knowing much about Twilight and there was not one second where I thought that Bella could choose Jacob over Edward. IMO Bella's preferences are very clear, that's why the love triangle only annoyed me to no end. Mostly, because I actually did like Jacob before he started being a jerk.
I also don't get why so many people (and somehow, even the author?) think that picking Jacob would mean a normal life - I think Bella makes an allusion like that, the white picket fence or something - when it is also stated that Jacob is immortal as much as the next vampire? And since Bella is not his imprinted-on beloved, she would still grow old and die? How did this never come up?

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

SMeyer's pretenses at competition or uncertainty over who Bella will choose are as lame and hollow as her "action" scenes. One gets the impression she was told she had to have some plot and drama mixed in with her great big mound of cotton-candy fluff, but did so only reluctantly.

[evilsimon.livejournal.com]

I would adopt Edward Cullen Cat in a heartbeat if I were on the correct coast and in any position to offer a cat a home. Such a sad panda face.

[ali-jayne.livejournal.com]

OMG that sweet baby's face. I'm glad you've been keeping us updated, because I've wondered about him. Poor thing.

Also: PETER JACKSON GALADRIEL BE PRAISED

[redcoast.livejournal.com]

I was going to say, I thought you were Team Alice. And you are.

[lonely-doll.livejournal.com]

If I had Edward Cullen cat, I would love him and squeeze him and call him Morrissey!

[hopeandmemory.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, Team Alice. High five!

I also liked the girl who said she was "Team Not Bella." I remember when I went to buy Breaking Dawn (since I was bored and out of work, I went to the midnight thing at Barnes & Noble) and was trying to explain to a couple of 13-year-olds in the cafe line why Bella is basically the worst character ever. (I think I may have started trolling conversations with "Edward is a stalker" logic while lurking around the tattoo table as well. It was amusing, to say the least. xD)

AND HELL YES PETER JACKSON, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DRAG IT OUT LIKE THIS? We all knew it had to end up this way!

(and omg edward cullen cat DOES have sad puppy eyes, i want to take him home. :( )

[jackofice.livejournal.com]

Team Alice! High Five! :D

I KNEW you were Team Alice, Cleo. Not only because I can swear I've heard you say it somewhere before, though I don't know where, but you are way too awesome to fall for the Jacob/Edward arguement ^^

Also, Icon Love! <3

[sarahnargle.livejournal.com]

Oh cat, stop looking at me like that. It's boring into my soul. Though time, space, and allergies prevent me from coming to your rescue, know that I at least named my dog a more sensible fandom inspired name, and a fandom at least where the girls kick ass and take names. Let your impeding name-change be your comfort, and Oh, he looks like a bunny rabbit! Look at that nose! Look at those paws! SOMEONE CHANGE HIS NAME!

[sevenmarie.livejournal.com]

what is your dog's name?

[coldclarity.livejournal.com]

Peter Jackson directing The Hobbit just made my goddamn week.

[celestinenox]

SAD CAT. IS KRYPTONITE. OH GODS. CAN'T TAKE IT. D: D: D:

[barrelgoddess.livejournal.com]

FUCK YES PETER JACKSON!

[vivian-lake.livejournal.com]

Hurray for The Hobbit finally finding his way back (and his director)!

This cat is breaking my heart.

[beth-shulman.livejournal.com]

Peter Jackson YES. Now, if only it weren't two movies (I hope he scraps that).

[fading-october.livejournal.com]

The end of that article is just eating at me. Poor kitty looks like he's forever worried :(

[t4-flirt.livejournal.com]

EEEEEEEEP! Cullen kitty! I would totally adopt the little sparkler based on those EYES. (And we've already got a chihuahua, so I am such a sucker for sad-eyes.)

And I loathe Twilight and have yet to see one of the movies, much less sit through it. But sadly, I want to see Eclipse just to see the kick-ass fight scenes. (Perhaps I'll have my sister get it on Netflix when it comes to dvd and save my non-existent money.)

Icon love!

[castleatmydoor.livejournal.com]

Where did you get that icon? Love it! :D

[kirsdarke.livejournal.com]

I want to pick him up and snuggle him. If I didn't have a dog and live in a different state.

Dogs and Cats, unlike Smyers' Vamps and Shifters...

[mysterypoet66.livejournal.com]

Since a lot of people have mentioned having dogs or they'd adopt E.C.C., I figured I'd put it out there: Dogs and Cats are not mortal enemies. I've brought kittens in with both adult cats and dogs, and the kitten usually ends up ruling the pack. I've also brought puppies in with adult cats and... Well, the cat ends up ruling the pack. (Cats are just really dominant in my house, Idk.) So, unless it's a space/lease issue, don't be afraid of having both.

[hollyxu.livejournal.com]

You know, he looks more like a mini-Iorek than Edward Cullen. If I wasn't across an interesting border I'd totally adopt this cat.

Also, what's your argument for Team Alice?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Not "team" in the sense of "She should end up with Bella," just "I think she is awesome."

Although they do have sleepovers together...