Snow: let me explain it

[cleolinda]

The thing you have to understand about snow panic in Alabama is that it's not about the snow. Mostly, it's about us not being prepared for snow; a meager two inches is considered an epic blizzard. It's also about the side effects of snow--I live in a heavily-wooded suburban area full of giant, beautiful, old trees. Very old trees. And they all have dead branches here and there hanging on by a shred of bark, so when you have just enough snow to weigh them down, they break off and fall onto the power lines. Or worse, the entire tree is mostly dead and it falls across the road or onto (and usually through) your house. There was one Epic Two-Inch Snow that ended up with a three-foot-thick, forty-foot-long pine lying across our street (and in what used to be someone's sun room), while live power lines were sparking in the road. In fact, my mother reported last night that, as she was driving home, she saw a number of official-looking trucks on the side of the road, presumably stationed for speedy tree removal.

It's also about the ice. None of us know how to drive on it, because we don't get it often enough to figure out how and then retain that knowledge. One time there was a Special News Report on Safe Winter Weather Driving, and I am serious, it was, in its entirety, "Drive slow." And now, over to Jim with the sports! So basically, entire schools, businesses, and highways will be shut down for safety reasons while all of Chicago points and laughs. I am not even kidding: my sister may not be able to get to work on Friday--

Oh God. I just realized that if we are all iced in together for the next four days, a remake of The Shining is going to break out.


While we're here, a teensy bit of Twi-spam, because I am getting a lot of email about this, and also, I enjoy the progression of the headlines:

Attn. Jackson Rathbone: Missing something?

'Eclipse' Script Wasn't Leaked, Says Summit. 

Nikki Finke: Yes, That Leaked Movie Script Is 'Eclipse.' 

1. I don't want to read it. I'm to a point where I don't even watch clips of movies I know I want to see anymore. I get so bored in the theater if I feel like I've already seen the movie. 2. I suspect the wink emoticon in the script (as seen at the first link) is forced product-placement sarcasm from screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg. 3. My dazzle is somewhat chagrined that (people tell me) the werewolf-vampire nose-fist bump is not in this version of the script, because, quite honestly, the Edward/Seth stuff is the only thing I find remotely likeable about Book!Edward. Also: COME ON! WEREWOLF-VAMPIRE NOSE-FIST BUMP! If there is anything funnier than that, I can't think of it right now.

Meanwhile, I am trying to work--I got a good bit of novel note-sorting and categorizing done yesterday--but am having a hell of a time. Lots of interruptions, and I can't concentrate for shit. Also, my new calendars (50% off!) came in from Amazon yesterday, but without the books I had bought for research, and then I realized I had forgotten to order a couple of other researchy things anyway, fnarr. Also-also, I bought another pair of fingerless gloves because I was concerned that my homemade recycled ones were fraying a bit from being worn so much, and I am really hoping they arrive before the cold snap is over. This is Alabama, after all.


OH OH OH I ALMOST FORGOT I have two questions to ask you:

1) How do we get e-books from my stepfather's Kindle onto my parents' computer? They can't figure out how.

2) Those identity protection/theft-prevention services, are any of them actually any good?

Comments

[sevenmarie.livejournal.com]

the thing i fin absurd is here in PITTSBURGH PA they are almost as bad about snow! its panic in the streets when theres a storm coming in!

I'm not even kidding! they shut down school on Monday for like 3 inches of snow. meanwhile ERIE, PA (where i was born and raised) STILL has school even though they got 3 feet last night! I just roll my eyes and pass the people driving 2 miles an hour through salted slush.

My husband loves to re-tell the story his grandfather (who lived in birmingham) told about the snow:

one year they had a really bad snowstorm (i don't know how many inches--that's not part of the 3rd hand retelling of the story) so they decided to buy snowplows for the next time it happened. well a couple of years later it snowed bad enough to need the snowplows but guess what? they were on one side of the town and the trucks for them were on the opposite side of town.

i think that this is funny for 1 main reason--my first response was: what people don't just HAVE plows on their regular trucks all the time? (Im not even kidding all of my neighbors in Erie had plows firmly attached to their trucks from October through may).

[flameraven.livejournal.com]

The thing I would find terrifying about snow in Pittsburgh is that there are mountains. Having lived in Flatland (IN) all my life, mountains freak me out. I was recently in PA and the constant hills and sharp turns were bad enough-- and I wasn't even driving. The prospect of driving through that with snow is awful. D:

[sevenmarie.livejournal.com]

:) see i grew up in PA so I'm used to it. (Though there are hills in the Pittsburgh area that even I avoid in winter because they are so steep!)

My husband grew up in Marion, IN and he said the same thing you did above about them not cleaning the roads until AFTER it's done snowing. Yeah that is not helpful to me at all! :)

btw-the email alert i got to let me me know someone replied to my comment completely freaked me out because it puts YOUR name on there before your user name. YOUR name is the same as my friend's 10 year old daughter's name! I was like WTF is she doing on Cleo's blog???

[flameraven.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I used to live in northern Indiana only a few miles from the tip of Lake Michigan. We had so few hills that we went sledding at the local garbage dump, as it was literally the ONLY hill around.

Haha, really? That's interesting. Although I'd be shocked if it was the same last name, as it's a pretty rare surname. ^^;

[sevenmarie.livejournal.com]

nope, same last name even!

that's why i was so freaked out by it! :)
maybe you are long lost cousins! :)

(my friend, mother of Beth, is named Jamie)

[flameraven.livejournal.com]

Wow, that IS surreal. Although I think I had seen a small branch of people with our last name in Pennsylvania. No idea if they're related to us, but I suppose it's possible.

Weird.

[maeliosa.livejournal.com]

Hey, I live in Marion now and we're lucky if they get plowed at all, let alone salted. Last year they ran out of money to buy salt and had to use sand instead. While that was better than nothing, they also didn't have enough money to pay enough people to drive the plows and put down the sand, so that mostly didn't do a bit of good.

[ms-tooey.livejournal.com]

Hmm - they NEVER cancelled school in the suburbs of Pittsburgh when I was growing up there. What has changed?

[sevenmarie.livejournal.com]

i don't know. Pittsburgh is INSANE about the weather! I have only lived here about 10 years and it's been this way the whole time--they even have special bulletins running across local tv with weather alerts! Really? its just rain people!

[ms-tooey.livejournal.com]

Oh, right - I remember visiting my parents in June, having it be a sunny day, and seeing the "Severe Weather Center" on one of the tv channels. I thought it was weird at the time. Actually, I still do.