True story

[cleolinda]

Guys, my mother just found my phone in the washing machine. I washed my phone. I have no phone because I washed it.

Reader, I confess, I started laughing really hard. She looked like she wanted to throttle me.



ETA: I've told you how we bought the Geek Squad contract and my mother's so in love with the concept of the Geek Squad and how they will come fix everything and Make It All Better? Finally I said, look, just CALL THEM, whatever, I just washed MY PHONE, I DON'T CARE. So while she does that, I check my email, I read the news, I finally read the Best Buy: Geek Squad Gouges article at The Consumerist. Not FIVE MINUTES LATER, she storms in and announces that the Geek Squad 1) can't get here until August 31st which is 2) the same day as my dentist appointment (I started laughing hysterically at that point, just because: COME ON NOW, REALLY) and 3) they want to charge us $145 to come out and, essentially, look at the thing and maybe load Microsoft Office. "I THOUGHT THAT THE POINT OF THE CONTRACT WAS FOR THEM TO COME OUT AND FIX THINGS BECAUSE WE HAD ALREADY PAID THEM WHAT IS THIS WHY DID WE EVEN GIVE THEM ANY MONEY IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF THE CONTRACT??????????" she capslocked.

Apparently as the call was ending, whoever she was talking to asked if she had received good customer service. My mother paused for a long, long time. "You were very nice to me on the phone," she said finally.



ETA: Y'ALL, MY MOTHER'S CAR IS DEAD. She went out to the garage just now and it was just cold as a stone. Wouldn't even make a noise. "It's either the battery or the alternator," she said. But she doesn't know WHY--she didn't leave anything on to run it down. I couldn't stop laughing, in that "I have no other response left" way--well, I stopped when I realized she was near tears. "And I don't have Triple A anymore, because we couldn't afford it," she said. "I am just so tired. I am just so tired of life."

I'm afraid to stay in this house today, y'all. I don't know what's going to happen next.

Comments

[diddakoi.livejournal.com]

Um... try taking the phone apart and letting it dry for a few days. Phones can often bounce back from fresh water, although I don't know about fresh water + detergent.

Other than that... holy shit, y'all. If my mechanic cousin didn't live in Ohio, I'd send you him.

[naeelah.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, I'm so sorry. "Ridiculous" doesn't begin to cover it.

You just need to ask the city for permission to burn your house down, salt the earth where it stands, and build a new in a place that has been verified and blessed by Feng Sui, Native American, and probably Catholic authorities (as Catholics can perform exorcisms). That should cover it.

Just wanted to tell you...

[misscriac.livejournal.com]

I don't have a Livejournal, but I've been following your blog for quite awhile and I just wanted to tell you that your writing as been one of the few things to keep me hopeful during crappy times like what your going through (the least of which was being a redheaded Victoria enrolled in high school at the time the Twilight movie came out.)I've sent nearly all my friends the link to m15m, and they've all been delighted after reading it. I don't know if this helps comfort you or not, but I just thought I'd share. I sincerely hope things get better for you.

[delle.livejournal.com]

Cleo: I know I'm way way down the "OMG SO SORRY" response list, but I hope you have a chance to read this.

Re: your phone. Open it up, take out the battery. Put it in a container with dry rice and let it sit for 48 hours. The dry rice will help pull the moisture out of the phone. No guarantees, but it *may* work.

If it doesn't - do you have VerizonWireless? If not, check with your provider anyway because they all try to stay even with each other. Call your provider. VZW has a program wherein you can get one replacement phone at a discount for damage (I don't remember all the details because this was implemented after I left TN and before I worked the Job From Hell w/ a VZW subcontractor and I was only there for 6 weeks). You may be able to get a replacement for as little as $50 (don't quote me but I think so!). It won't be a brand-new phone, it will be a 'reconditioned' and you may not be able to get the same model, but it would be a phone.

(email me if you need more info: mlledelle (at) comcast (dot) net)

[sirius20-81.livejournal.com]

on the car thing: you don't have to leave anything on to kill the battery if your alternator is bad. the alternator going bad kills the battery by itself. testing the battery won't do any good in this case. so, she can get a new battery, and the car will work for a bit (depending on the car, probably for about a day) but the alt. will kill it again. in which case (again depending on the car) this is either going to be a super (relatively) cheap and easy fix (if you know someone with any mechanical skills and google) or a real expensive pain in the ass. i'm lucky enough to have a real expensive pain in the ass car. but, for some cars it's a matter of buying a $100 replacement, removing a bolt, replace part, replace bolt.

however, given current luck, this will probably not be the case. good luck cleo

[scarolinagrl.livejournal.com]

yikes. I kinda agree with the 'get out of the house NOW' theory.

Can you get a lift to the local public library? it's quiet. and cool. has free internet and lots of books. not a bad place to spend the day.

and if your bad electronic juju freaks out their computers and they all die, the librarians will love you. (or at least, this librarian would LOVE you. cause then we'd have no pesky patrons to annoy us with fifty million questions about email attachments. just sayin.)

[cherrysakura5.livejournal.com]

Oh My! You need a Pastor, Priest, Rabbi, maybe a Monk. You need someone to take away the bad aura in you house. This whole bad luck Cleo is just surreal. Well you have us your internet friends. ^_^

[sirinde.livejournal.com]

On the amusing side, I had a dream where I was wandering around this house, and a herd of My Little Ponies went by and I thought "oh I wonder if this is Cleolinda's house" before the dream changed and I was in a forest.

still: Ponies!

[clodia-risa.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetheart. Both of you.

[akathorne.livejournal.com]

I...wha...um. Well. You wanna come escape to the Hurricane Zone for a while? I mean, you might get washed out to sea here, but it seems safer than your house at the moment.

[jwdmeow.livejournal.com]

Oh my god.

What else can you say? I am so sorry the gremlins have descended on your house. Maybe if you leave out cookies they will go away and everything will magically start working again. Or something.

Really - I wish a had a ton of money to like send you to Mexico for a week. I can't imagine anyone needing to just get away from a house more...

[schneefloeckli.livejournal.com]

Lately, your life seems to have become a case of "When it rains, it pours". *hugs* I really wish for all your machines to start acting like they are supposed to and stop giving you sleepless nights. At least, you can still laugh about it. And blog about it. :D

[lupegarou.livejournal.com]

being kind of a car girl, if the car doesn't make a noise at all, it's more than likely the battery itself. if it was the alternator, the car would start, and then run for a short time until all the juice had been sucked from the battery and then it would die.

how old is the battery? if it's more than 5 years old, they do just spontaneously shit out. the battery in my '02 neon died last April. at 3 am. at a walmart. which is 40 mins from my house. and my dad had to come get me, and he just bought me a new battery.

also, maybe going back to best buy is the thing to do? because i think your mom doing what she does best, is possibly more effective in person.

also also, i'm severely inclined to blame the house... >_>

[zivia.livejournal.com]

This happened to my parents' car a couple of months ago when I was babysitting. Went out one afternoon and blammo, wouldn't start. Tow truck came and gave me a boost. Thought all was fine. Next morning. Gone again. Called the auto service again and they towed it to the dealership. Dealership replaced battery. I bussed all the way there early one morning (two hours on public transport!) only to have it still be dead.

This happened two or three more times. Finally it turned out that there was a teeny little part attached to the rear window defroster that had gone rogue one day and was draining the battery whether the car was on or not. It took the dealership more than a week to figure it out!

Anyways, I have nothing but sympathy for you and your family. I have had a couple of years of really atrocious luck and now that things are turning around I keep looking over my shoulder wondering when something is going to go wrong. Good luck!

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

Jesus God.

[snowwhite2421.livejournal.com]

we're probably past this point here, but...

if there is anything you can think of that people could do to help, let us know. It's a pretty big audience, there may be resources. I don't know... but this much suck shouldn't happen to one person.

[rhoda-rants.livejournal.com]

Wow.

Yeah, the Geek Squad is waste of everyone's time and money, I only trust them as far as I can throw those little black-and-white VWs they drive around in.

Go find some high school kid with loads of piercings and tattoos - he'll probably fix it up for you for twenty bucks and a pack of cigarettes.

[meiousei.livejournal.com]

I totally feel the phone pain. I once put my phone, still in the pocket of my jeans, into the washer, and then into the dryer for about 20 minutes before it occurred to me that I hadn't seen my phone for a while and hey, what's that horrible thumping noise in the dryer?

... yeah, it didn't bounce back from that. And I was a month away from a "new every two" free phone deal from Verizon.

[theminno.livejournal.com]

Oh god, this is so, so terrible. I seriously think at this point asking your readers for a little assistance would not be inappropriate, because... seriously. I am beginning to worry that you are about to go supervillain on us, and then there will be an update that just says, "BRB, taking over the world" or some such. I mean, people have tried to kill Superman for less.

Also, right after I read this post, I went out to mow my yard. Not five minutes into it, my lawnmower died and smoke started pouring out of the engine, and my first thought (right after "Well, this isn't good," of course) was seriously "At least this didn't happen to Cleo." So, you know, it could be worse? Somehow?

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

Hey, I've washed my phone too! (http://ladymirth.livejournal.com/37347.html) And it still works!

Go Nokia! They don't make 'em like they used to. =/

[djinnmuse.livejournal.com]

...oh lord... stay in, close the curtains, and stay away from most tech. Wow...

[edenlass.livejournal.com]

nooooo! and here i thought 2009 was supposed to be so much better than '08!

[glimmerata.livejournal.com]

Holy moly.

While there would be logistics to work out that may render this offer ridiculously non-implementable (such as how to get the below-mentioned items to the other side of the country):

I live in San Francisco and have easy access to looming sea cliffs and a rather large bridge. Misbehaving cell phones, computer equipment and automobiles could always be made to sleep with the fishes.

Well, maybe just the cell phone and the computer. The local residents would probably come after me if I tried to push a car off the Golden Gate Bridge.

You know, just had a vision of the local news:
"In a bizarre twist, a local woman was taken into custody after attempting to push a car through the railings of the Golden Gate Bridge. When asked why she did it, her only response was 'I just wanted the My Little Ponies to come back to Cleoland!'"

So, you know, maybe just the computer and the cell phone, then.

[ruffwriter.livejournal.com]

Oh Jesus Christ Cleo DDDDD:

[octotoes.livejournal.com]

One day of all that nonsense would be enough to make me throw up my hands and stumble towards a large pitcher of margarita. Would a bottle of tequila fit in your PO Box? ;-)