In which I suffer delusions of grandeur

[cleolinda]

My sister and her boyfriend (I generally have to fight the urge to call him "my brother-in-law," so basically, that's who he is) dropped by before going to see Watchmen (they've just left), and naturally, since he's the comics buyer for Books-a-Million, we started talking geek. And then we drifted around to action figures and dolls and specifically Twilight dolls, which will apparently be arriving at BAMs within the week, since he finagled an exclusive (well, among bookstores. SUCK IT, BORDERS) with Tonner. (I still take partial credit for this, at least as a fandom consultant.)

He is optimistic that BAM will get some kind of holiday exclusive-exclusive. He is pushing for a Sparkle Edward. Yes, he is. He really, really is. "YES, DO THAT," I said. "THE PEOPLE WANT SPARKLE EDWARD." "They do?" "OH YES. YES, THEY REALLY, REALLY DO. DO THAT." I even cited this interview as evidence that Robert Tonner would be open to this idea. BECAUSE HE SAID SO HIMSELF ("However, I’d love to figure out a way to do Edward as he looks with the sun on his skin—that would be a challenge!"). From afar, I pull the strings (or at least tug on them gently) (MOO HA HA) ! You can thank me later.

(I also suggested an Alice, although I admitted that they would hardly give anyone a character exclusive that big. I did, however, suggest Vampire Baseball Alice as an alternative. Vampire Baseball Anybody, really. "THE PEOPLE WANT VAMPIRE BASEBALL. EVEN THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE TWILIGHT. AND THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T EVEN LIKE TWLIIGHT REALLY WANT ALICE. YES, THEY DO.")

Comments

[thelovely2.livejournal.com]

ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE!!!
I DON'T CARE IF SHE SPARKLES OR NOT! BUT I WANT HER! I WANT HERRRRRR!!

[ofshoesandships.livejournal.com]

Most of the people at the store I work at used to work at BAM. They want to know who I know at BAM to know all this stuff. I shuffle away in shame "oh its just on the internets..."

Sparklessss



You're awesome.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

shhhhh dun tell


You're awesome.

Aw, I try to do my best with what little influence I have. I'm sure I wouldn't get anywhere with my suggestions if Twilight were not, in essence, a bailout for the entertainment retail industry. Seriously, I linked an article the other day to the effect that Twilight is single-handedly keeping Hot Topic in the black right now.

[diddakoi.livejournal.com]

This would be amazing. However, I have never heard of this Books-A-Million you speak of. Is it a southern chain?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think it's mostly in the southeast. They're getting 400 Edwards and 200 Bellas for the whole chain, so you can imagine how limited an edition a Sparkle Edward might be.

[efyyness.livejournal.com]

(I also suggested an Alice, although I admitted that they would hardly give anyone a character exclusive that big. I did, however, suggest Vampire Baseball Alice as an alternative. Vampire Baseball Anybody, really. "THE PEOPLE WANT VAMPIRE BASEBALL. EVEN THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE TWILIGHT. AND THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T EVEN LIKE TWLIIGHT REALLY WANT ALICE. YES, THEY DO.")

this is completely true. i don't like twilight in the least bit save vampire baseball (lololol so funny XD) and alice/jasper. they were awesome. :D

[profbutters.livejournal.com]

It's REALLY true about Sparkle Edward. I don't like Edward and I'm strictly a Twilight lolfan but I think a lot of people would get Sparkle Edward just for the lulz.

[jennygriffee.livejournal.com]

Yes yes yes yes Alice please. *looks beseechingly at Tonner HQ*

[sushixpack.livejournal.com]

Oh god oh god oh god ALICE ALICE ALICE. YES.

[lacrimaeveneris.livejournal.com]

OMG. I can decide if that's awesome or just straight up lulzy. But way to go, you are AWESOME. Like woah.


...I also blame you for why I read all the Twilight books.

[lacrimaeveneris.livejournal.com]

Also, have you listened to the commentary track on Twilight? Because it is the BEST THING EVER. RPattz is just like, "This... is ridiculous" (his best comment: "And Edward's just like, I don't know what's going on. And stands in the garden. Yes."). And Kristen Stewart is giggly.

[ciara-belle.livejournal.com]

I SO WANT a VampireBaseball!Alice! I own no other dolls or action figures (ok, I have an American girl doll and some other stuff from when I was 8), but I would be all over that. And a sparkly Edward.

My students would loooooooove me for that. XD

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

I really think Alice is the Barbie of this whole franchise; there are so many different ways you could sell her. Vampire Baseball Alice! Car Thief Alice! Let's Go To The Mall Alice! Look, I Just Got Back From The Amazon Rainforest And Saved The Day Alice! And so on and so forth.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Don't forget Sleepover Alice and Wedding Planner Alice!

[ailaes.livejournal.com]

I'm very vocal on my extreme dislike for Twilight, and yet I would buy an Alice. Why? She is the reason I kept reading those damned books. So yes, I WANT AN ALICE!!!


I'm still not watching the movie. The m15m was good enough.

[dietcokebreak.livejournal.com]

Cleo-

I just finished the last Twilight book on Thursday and then went and read all your wonderful, snarky recaps. I seriously love you. I laughed out loud reading the books, and laughed even harder reading your comments.

For me, these books fall into the category of "so bad you have to love it". [In my family, that is represented by the film Congo (which could actually really benefit from a M15M, but I don't expect you to take requests.) :)]

Just wanted to say "YOU RULE". Keep on rocking the internets.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks!

[kaydee23.livejournal.com]

Can't they just spray glitter on the doll?

[rockangel1902.livejournal.com]

That would be a good way to make the dolls sparkle...
That'd be very interesting. =D

[giffydoll.livejournal.com]

I like to call those who are not in-laws, out-laws. He is your brother-out-law or BoL

;)

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

I definitely want Alice. And a Jasper somewhere in the near future. Yes yes...

And I'm seriously debating on whether or not to buy the DVD whence it comes out, if only for Alice...

[maudelynn.livejournal.com]

I want Jasper, too... err.. I mean, cool.

[melpemone.livejournal.com]

YES WE DO WANT THEM OH YES

I couldn't finish the books. I haven't yet seen the movie. But omg, I am a fan of the fandom really a lot and I really, very truly want a sparkle!Edward.

(I also want a Luna Lovegood, as I think I've mentioned to you before. I want her to ask awkward questions of my Master doll. This is YOUR FAULT.)

You rock....and.....

[countykent.livejournal.com]

....Alice is AWESOME!

We totally need an "Alice in Italy" with the yellow Porsche!

And you're right, Borders can SUCK IT! My sister and I pre-ordered the Twilight DVD from Borders for our own LOL With Alice Slumber Party. We just got an email saying that due to the popularity of the item, it may not ship until April 3rd! I hate them! A lot! REALLY!

(We know we're not as ashamed as we should be.)

[maudelynn.livejournal.com]

I was corrected by a 13 year old just last night about dissing the baseball thing. She pointed out that most of our ideas of Vampires are of the European kind. They ride horses, dress girly and have sword fights. These are AMERICAN Vampires... OF COURSE THEY PLAY BASEBALL!!! What other sport would they play?? I mumbled something about footy/soccer, she brightened up and said THAT WOULD BE HAWT... and we were friends again. :)

[fineprnt.livejournal.com]

That... actually... makes sense.

*minor aneurysm*

[maisontv.livejournal.com]

THE LOLFANS WOULD BUY THE SHIT OUT OF ALICE DOLLS.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

INORITE? I AM TRYING TO TELL THEM THIS!

[kveran.livejournal.com]

You are correct--I watched Twilight for the lulz, read it with a sense of horror ("this got PUBLISHED?!") and even I would buy a vampire baseball Alice.

[aficat.livejournal.com]

Limited. Edition. Sparklepire.

BAM has an Acts of God/ Locust Swarm clause in their insurance, right? I was at the 7th book HP release, and the back-to-back-to-back screenings of LoTR. I know of what I speak. Of.

LOCUSTS.

[ohkaye.livejournal.com]

I saw Watchmen today, actually. I wasn't impressed. =\ I'd honestly give it like, a 2/5.

[sweet-pessimism.livejournal.com]

Okay, so this is off-topic, but I just really wanted to share these with you..

The winningest Benry icons ever. (http://iconseeyou.livejournal.com/73501.html) My favorite is the smoke monster fetch one.. So cute!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow--that's the I Harth Darth style, isn't it? So cute.

[wildcatlizzie.livejournal.com]

Cause Alice is awesome. (Why did I delete that icon? FAIL.)

[bronweeny.livejournal.com]

this is the thing i have never got about all the twilight dolls.... if it's of the utmost importance to the story that the vampires sparkle WHY DON'T THEY BLOODY SPARKLE?????!!!!!
i mean, if they can make barbie grow hair surely to god they can add some glitter to a frickin doll so any small chance of having a sparkling dollen i'm over it!!