O Tannenbaum (*CRASH*)
Nov. 30th, 2008 01:36 pmSooooo my mother fell down the basement stairs and killed her foot. The carpet has kind of a slick, low pile; I've stumbled over it myself before. So she's going downstairs to do I don't even know what--takes a tumble and ends up with her shoulder rammed into a metal cabinet, landing on her (arthritic) right knee but somehow jacking up her left foot. At first she thought it was broken, but she can move it just fine; it only hurts (acutely) when she puts pressure on it. Which, you know, one kind of has to do in order to walk. So we think she's probably sprained or strained or hyperextended or somethinged a ligament or... something. We "think," because she refuses to go to the clinic to have it checked out: "I'll see how it feels in the morning." So right now, she's laid up in the recliner watching her beloved Peyton Manning play whoever on whatever team it is he plays on.
(Me, surveying the cabinet damage: "We need us a sparklepire to pop that dent back out."
My mother, deadpan: "Yeah... go see if Your People have Edward's number.")
(Y'all are My People, obviously.)
So then we went to the Galleria, as planned, to do some Christmas shopping. It was 10:30, but for some reason half the stores hadn't opened yet, so we walked around for literally ten minutes and then went home, because her foot was bothering her too badly. Which was a relief to me, because I kept telling her that if she needed to give up and go home, you know, don't push it just to be stubborn and end up hurting it worse. So finally, she did. On the way home, though, because she would not be denied, we stopped by the Boy Scout Christmas tree sale (across the way from the Vestavia Panera, for y'all locals), and they really did have some gorgeous trees. (I ended up chatting with one of the Scout dads--looked like someone's grandfather, actually--and we agreed that good rains this summer had resulted in a superior crop of Fraser firs.) So we walk onto the lot, and I get to the second tree in the second row and say, "I like that one."
"Well, let's look around, we just got here..."
"I like that one."
"There's more trees over here--they must have hundreds--"
"I like that one. Look--it's the right size, it's got a great shape even at the top, it's kind of big at the bottom but we'll have to trim that off anyway, it's got great color, kind of blue underneath--"
"WELL LET'S KEEP LOOKING AROUND."
So she wanders around two or three rows with her bad foot pushing through various swaths of pine--I think we ran into a faun at one point--poking them all to death, until finally she decides, as if she has never seen it before, that the second tree on the second row is the best one. This is something you should know about me: I am generally a quick study. It takes me about thirty seconds to pick out a birthday card, for example. I know what I want, and I know it when I see it. When I tell you "I want that one," I mean it. Not that you have to agree with me, obviously--you can pick out whatever you want, but when it comes to what I want, I know it. And then I turn out to be right anyway, so there.
Bless.
So the Boy Scouts lash the tree to the top of our car with some very fragile looking twine--I was put on Rearview Mirror Tree Watch the whole way home--and it's still out there in the driveway, waiting for my stepfather to come home and deal with it. I think we're going to stand it up outside for a couple of days and let it fall out a bit; Sister Girl wants us to hold off on decorating until she can come over anyway. And that was my morning.

(Me, surveying the cabinet damage: "We need us a sparklepire to pop that dent back out."
My mother, deadpan: "Yeah... go see if Your People have Edward's number.")
(Y'all are My People, obviously.)
So then we went to the Galleria, as planned, to do some Christmas shopping. It was 10:30, but for some reason half the stores hadn't opened yet, so we walked around for literally ten minutes and then went home, because her foot was bothering her too badly. Which was a relief to me, because I kept telling her that if she needed to give up and go home, you know, don't push it just to be stubborn and end up hurting it worse. So finally, she did. On the way home, though, because she would not be denied, we stopped by the Boy Scout Christmas tree sale (across the way from the Vestavia Panera, for y'all locals), and they really did have some gorgeous trees. (I ended up chatting with one of the Scout dads--looked like someone's grandfather, actually--and we agreed that good rains this summer had resulted in a superior crop of Fraser firs.) So we walk onto the lot, and I get to the second tree in the second row and say, "I like that one."
"Well, let's look around, we just got here..."
"I like that one."
"There's more trees over here--they must have hundreds--"
"I like that one. Look--it's the right size, it's got a great shape even at the top, it's kind of big at the bottom but we'll have to trim that off anyway, it's got great color, kind of blue underneath--"
"WELL LET'S KEEP LOOKING AROUND."
So she wanders around two or three rows with her bad foot pushing through various swaths of pine--I think we ran into a faun at one point--poking them all to death, until finally she decides, as if she has never seen it before, that the second tree on the second row is the best one. This is something you should know about me: I am generally a quick study. It takes me about thirty seconds to pick out a birthday card, for example. I know what I want, and I know it when I see it. When I tell you "I want that one," I mean it. Not that you have to agree with me, obviously--you can pick out whatever you want, but when it comes to what I want, I know it. And then I turn out to be right anyway, so there.
Bless.
So the Boy Scouts lash the tree to the top of our car with some very fragile looking twine--I was put on Rearview Mirror Tree Watch the whole way home--and it's still out there in the driveway, waiting for my stepfather to come home and deal with it. I think we're going to stand it up outside for a couple of days and let it fall out a bit; Sister Girl wants us to hold off on decorating until she can come over anyway. And that was my morning.
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Date: 2008-11-30 07:43 pm (UTC)This is something you should know about me: I am generally a quick study. It takes me about thirty seconds to pick out a birthday card, for example. I know what I want, and I know it when I see it. When I tell you "I want that one," I mean it.
This is me exactly. My first (used) car - I bought the first one I test drove. Actually, I pointed to it and said, that's the one I want. I bought the first wedding dress I tried on (my mom said, shouldn't you try on some others?)
I guess I tend to ponder and do my research in advance, so when I shop, I pretty much know what I want. My mom is superindecisive (and my husband is worse with Christmas shopping) - but not me. :-)
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Date: 2008-11-30 07:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-11-30 07:43 pm (UTC)I have Edward's number but it always goes to voicemail ever since the movie came out. Pretentious bastard.
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Date: 2008-12-01 12:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-30 07:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-30 07:47 pm (UTC)Speedy shoppers unite! I can walk into a store and in under ten seconds know if it's worth sticking around and trying things on.
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Date: 2008-11-30 07:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-01 03:44 am (UTC)I did my own research since the doctor didn't give me any definite healing time-frames to work with. . .and it turns out that's because they actually have no idea how long it takes the soft tissue to heal- the in-depth government sponsored study I read said anywhere from six weeks to three months.
YAY SOFT TISSUE INJURIES! And brillantly re-spraining things.
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Date: 2008-11-30 07:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-30 07:58 pm (UTC)But then I read the rest and I agree that she needs to be beaten with boughs of holly.
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Date: 2008-11-30 08:03 pm (UTC)I wish I did have sparklepire's no, since I am your peep and all. Are you one of the epople who went to the Twilight premiere? And if you didn't did you want to go? Just curious...
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Date: 2008-11-30 10:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-11-30 08:08 pm (UTC)I also take forever to decide on something, especially cards. I always pick out the funniest and spot-on ones, though; I'm known for my card picking skillz in my family).
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Date: 2008-11-30 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-30 08:18 pm (UTC)My son opened the car door into his head this morning on our way to church. Vigourously.
So here's the minister -- arriving late for worship, with a kid holding an icepack to his forehead.
It took a while for my day to improve.
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Date: 2008-11-30 08:28 pm (UTC)I've been reading your pages for so long, finally joined livejournal just to make it official. I love your pages.
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Date: 2008-11-30 08:27 pm (UTC)& I wish I had your ability to make decisions. I'm the exact opposite - taking all the time in the world to make up my mind on the smallest things.:/
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Date: 2008-12-01 07:05 am (UTC)chocolate or banana or rainbow paddle pop?
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Date: 2008-11-30 08:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-01 06:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-30 08:38 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2008-11-30 09:15 pm (UTC)Her beloved Peyton (who you might like; he has a sense of humor, as you can probably tell from his commercials) plays for the Indianapolis Colts. I was trying to describe the Colts' new stadium (http://www.lucasoilstadium.com/) -- non-picturesquely named Lucas Oil Stadium -- and the best I could come up with was "the greatest horse barn ever." I say this in case you like horses.
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Date: 2008-11-30 09:41 pm (UTC)Side to side, ballet point, upturn rotate?
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Date: 2008-11-30 10:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-11-30 09:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-30 10:01 pm (UTC)Aw, I hope your mom's foot feels better. :(
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Date: 2008-11-30 10:08 pm (UTC)But it was definitely broken and definitely needed to be seen by a doctor. On the upside, she got to use a cane for a month. We bought her a snazzy one and she'd keep spinning it rather than using it. I'm suprised she didn't make us buy her a top hat too.
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Date: 2008-11-30 11:28 pm (UTC)Sorry, but LOL!
Foot Injury
Date: 2008-11-30 10:20 pm (UTC)Othersize = ace bandage/gimp for a week
Re: Foot Injury
Date: 2008-11-30 10:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-30 10:49 pm (UTC)Have you heard this bit of Twilight horror? I don't remember seeing it anywhere in linkspam. Maclean's magazine quotes Catherine Hardwicke as saying, "They found us on a mountaintop freezing at two in the morning. A mother handed her baby and a camera to a production assistant - a stranger! - and had her walk half a mile to the set to get her baby's picture taken with Rob."
The crew should've smuggled that baby to safety.
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Date: 2008-11-30 11:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-11-30 11:00 pm (UTC)Stuff like that is why I read you. OK, that and the linkspam
frequently involving hot shirtless actors.no subject
Date: 2008-12-01 05:02 am (UTC)Because shouting makes the pain go away faster.