My thoughts on Twilight, let me show you them (II)

[cleolinda]

Actually, I don't have that many, because I'm still processing them. But? I am completely unable to tell if it was a good movie or not. All I know is, it was SO MUCH BETTER than the book that I am unable to say that it was bad. I mean, yes, I sat there most of the time with my hand over my mouth to keep the giggles silent, but I also spent most of the movie going, "Wow, they combined those bits, they cut that out, that is so much better--OH MY GOD THERE'S SOME PLOT! We're only fifteen minutes in and already there's some plot, WILL WONDERS NEVER CEASE."

There was no squealing or cheering in my theater, which made me sad--it was comfortably full, not crazy-packed, but it was worshipfully quiet. The only squee I heard was when the Paramore song started playing midway through the end credits, although of course people laughed when the movie was intentionally funny. (OMG BELLA'S DAD WAS HILARIOUS. This is another reason the movie is improvement technology 100%, because instead of being a mouth-breather who only cares about trout and baseball, Charlie actually had A RELATIONSHIP with Bella, which made her running out on him actually mean something. And also there was a whole SUBPLOT about him trying to track down the Bad Vamps. I KNOW, I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER.) Oh, and you know what? I thought Kristen Stewart was perfect. Absolutely perfect... which may say more about how I view Bella Swan than anything, but there you are. It was kind of weird listening to Robert Pattinson do his James Dean for two hours, knowing full well what he sounds like in real life (or Goblet of Fire, for that matter), but he acted the shit out of the Edward self-loathing thing. And he also made the "As long as I'm going to hell" line not sound stupid. My hat is off to you, man.

(Of course they both fell down and choked on the "lion fell in love with the lamb" exchange, but I think everyone, cast, crew and Stephenie Meyer included, knew that was inevitable. Because, you know, you gotta care what the ankle-tattoo people think.)

(OH MY GOD, HE WAS LURKING IN THE CORNER OF HER ROOM. I know Bella was all like, "That was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen," but--honey, I don't think you were dreaming. Yeah. I mentally started writing the Fifteen Minutes at that point.)

And yeah, the wire work (everyone's wire work) was ridiculous--there was no sense of weight or momentum, just... floating in a generally forward-like direction. The sparkling effect I was okay with, although it's so true what everyone was saying--the actual Meadow of Great Sparkle is so entirely shot like a sex scene minus the actual sex (I refuse to believe that was unintentional). And the stuffed owl positioned behind Edward so it looked like he had wings was lolarious. And the constant, super-dramatic closeups of Edward's eyes intensing left me in stitches. I don't know. I'm rambling now. My point is, I spent the whole movie admiring the drastic improvements from the book that I was unable to see it as a vampire movie or a teen romance movie or a movie, period--it was just, "Oh, thank God they changed that part." So I am not going to be a reliable source of criticism here. I've been working with the trees so long that I am completely incapable of seeing the forest, is what I'm saying.

I am definitely, however, capable of seeing the lulz. So I'll be getting to work now, although I doubt I could possibly have a Fifteen Minutes up before tomorrow.

(Hmm. Maybe I had more to say than I thought I did.)

P.S. Brett the Vet's favorite part was the vampire baseball. And the Cullens in general. And Alice in particular, because she is awesome.

Oh, a message "from Rob and Kristen": apparently New Moon has officially been greenlit. God save us all. But especially Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, from the fans who will be stalking the set.

OH GOD I JUST SAW THIS ON GOOGLE READER:

Suddenly, I understand why my as-yet-unchecked inbox is overflowing. Uh... welcome, readers of io9? I am one of you as well? I hope you come in peace?

ETA: Spoilers discussed in the comments.

Comments

[redcoast.livejournal.com]

The theater I went to was PACKED with MIDDLE SCHOOLERS and I was almost afraid of them. They made a lot of noise, and giggled throughout the entire movie. Also cheered at appropriate places. It was kind of awesome.

[poinsley.livejournal.com]

On Friday, my 6th graders were all talking about meeting up to see the movie. I bet a lot of the gross is allowance money ;)

[madoushi-shoujo.livejournal.com]

Woah, you're becoming (more) famous! ^_^

[badipew.livejournal.com]

Hi there, sorry for the random, but I love your icon so much. Is that quote from somewhere specific or is it just a common phrase? (non-English speaker here, sorry if the question is stupid)

And can I steal it?

[yourradiogeek.livejournal.com]

I feel I almost need to watch it again because I took in the movie much as you did. I can't really recall anything about it...just that it improved (mostly) upon what was in the books.

So thankful the theater I saw the movie in was only 1/3 full and was mostly quiet. I saw the screaming girls as I left...glad I could avoid it.

[http://users.livejournal.com/lady_alatariel_/]

I feel the same way too! Somebody asked me if liked it and all I could say was "I don't know?"

[shocolate.livejournal.com]

That is still an amazing paragraph.

In know there's no actual plot to worry about, but all three in one paragraph is fantabulous.

And if everything is green lighted it won't matter if I see it opening weekend in the UK - in a MONTH.

[celticwitch99.livejournal.com]

That paragraph sucked every one of my friends into both reading all the recaps and frequently checking this journal.

A couple even read the books afterward, but it can't be helped.

[gorgeousnerd]

I've seen it twice already (*shame*), but I've been surprised at how well-behaved the audiences I've been a part of were. I think I was the rowdiest person at the first showing (but only because, try though I might to restrain myself, I was laughing uncontrollably at the sparkle part. Probably because it was after one in the morning and I was exhausted).

Since I just read that the movie made $30 million yesterday, I was definitely expecting to hear a greenlight notice today, so that came as no surprise.

[casirafics.livejournal.com]

I found myself completely adoring Charlie in this movie. Puts a whole new spin on everything else that happens in these books, I'll tell you that much.

[divadeanna.livejournal.com]

I just got back from seeing it in a theater that was only about half full, and it was mostly adults. It was weird.

Also, I love Charlie. He may have been one of my favorite parts. And Mike made me laugh on purpose. I liked that. :)

And I enjoyed Mr. Pattinson. I like that he thought, "You know what, I'm gonna creep this guy up as much as I can." I think it worked in his favor.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I just loved that he was like, "Yeah, I've been climbing through your window for two months to watch you sleep, can I kiss you now?"

[thekatiefactor.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the eye close-ups were a bit too much, but some of the characters came across a lot better in the movie. I didn't think much of the directing, it would have been nice if Jacksper had been allowed more than two facial expressions.

[penmage.livejournal.com]

He really did look like he was in pain all the freaking time.

[genmaicha.livejournal.com]

I was wondering if it'd have an Eragon effect, where the movie distills it into something better than its source. (Yes, I know, there's plenty of Eragon fans who scream THEY CHANGED IT NOW IT SUCKS, but hey, at least I could WATCH the movie--though it's far more watchable with Rifftrax. I couldn't finish the book.)

As loathe as I am to financially support this, and terrified as I am to end up in a screaming theatre, I...might have to go see this.

[quietprofanity.livejournal.com]

I LOVE the Eragon RiffTrax. "Hey! It's poor man's Snape!"

[killua]

I. I am so tempted to go see it after reading this. XDDDD

Improvement on the book is a definite plus though. XD

[rufus.livejournal.com]

I told the person I went with that the NYT had said the movie was better than the book and her response was: "You are not for serious, are you?"

I have to agree with the NYT and, now, with you. I was still (mostly quietly!) convulsing with giggles, because I came to the conclusion that this film was epically, hilariously, awesomely terrible, but it *did* have a plot and some bursts of fine acting.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I just loved the part where he's sparkling and Bella's like "You're beautiful!" and he makes this fantastic disgusted face like OH MY GOD YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO LIVE.

[senshikittie.livejournal.com]

You only thought you were e-famous before, but now you've been googled. O.o

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Googled?

[symmetry.livejournal.com]

I LOVED Bella's dad in the movie. I felt so awful for him when she ran away and him being like "we can..go out, do fun things" I was ;__;ing inside. That's really saying something from the one dimensional characterizaction of Charlie in the books. And omg I loved Kristen Stewart as Bella, she took a character that was 100% annoying to actually pretty likable.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

What I really loved was when he and Edward were sitting at the kitchen table waiting for her to get ready for prom, and it was Awkward City. Oh, and the shotgun, of course.

[roseredhoofbeat.livejournal.com]

The divine purpose of this book was to further expose your awesomness to society at large. =D

[maramala.livejournal.com]

Yep.

You're an e-celebrity now, Charlie B--er, Cleolinda Jones. XD

(Congrats, maybe? Nah, when you get a detailed entry in EncyclopediaFailatica, then it's time to start worrying.)

[aquidis.livejournal.com]

The meadow scene, the bit in the tree, the ballet studio scene...the whole movie was so full of "unintentional" sex scenes it was ridiculous. Possibly ridiculously awesome.

[aerrin.livejournal.com]

This movie just pretty much straight up admits 'yeah, this is just one huge metaphor for teenage sexing. We're not gonna lie.'

[roseforaprince.livejournal.com]

ZOMG

THIS MOVIE BROUGHT THE SPARKLE MOTION IN SPADES.

[prncssaurora.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Charlie was... kind of my favorite character in the movie. He had some of the best moments! I loved him. And I found Jessica unexpectedly amusing as well.

I might need to see this again. The shame.

[prncssaurora.livejournal.com]

OH P.S. about the *~intense~* eye closeups, I was so close to losing my shit when the bad vamps showed up to baseball, and there were like 10 minutes of closeup after closeup of eyes while they all stared each other down. BLACK EYES. GOLD EYES. RED EYES. BLACK EYES AGAIN. MOAR RED EYES. GOLD EYEEEEEES. Best ever.

[thinktank8326.livejournal.com]

My thoughts on Twilight, let me show you them (II)







And so life comes full circle.

[edda.livejournal.com]

When you get interviewed on The Daily Show or The Colbert Report, I want a shout-out. Because that day? Is coming. I SWEAR.

[anthraxpretzels.livejournal.com]

[Slight spoilers? V:]


My friends and I thought the fact that he was cleaning a gun while talking to Bella about her boyfriend was a nice touch XD

Then at the end he snaps the gun up and is all like "K let's meet him B|"

[hulamoth.livejournal.com]

yeah! I loved Charlie there!

[dreamingenigma.livejournal.com]

COMPLETELY agree about the movie being so much better than the book that it's hard to judge the movie on its own. I mean, GOD she's such a bad writer. The movie HAD to be better!

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

From MSNBC.com to io9! You've got the whole spectrum of linkage!

[madeline-may.livejournal.com]

Charlie was absolutely kick-ass, and I could not have cared less about him before.

Also, Jasper, anyone? I laughed every time I saw him. And of course, there's Emmett. I loved when Bella first entered the Cullen house and Esme was greeting her, and you can see Emmett happily waving the knife in lieu of greeting in the background.

P.S. Brett the Vet's favorite part was the vampire baseball. And the Cullens in general. And Alice in particular, because she is awesome.

I thought I would laugh more about vampire baseball, but... I kinda want to play, actually.

My hands-down favourite part is still when Edward violently covered his nose/face when he caught Bella's scent for the first time. Our theater couldn't stop laughing.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

OH! I loved the part where she noticed his eyes for the first time, and he just turned around and walked away. Like, way to be smooth, Sparkles.

[angulique.livejournal.com]

Our theatre had 6 sold out auditoriums and a 7th for overflow. Our auditorium was, by far, the loudest, lol! We kept giggling and snickering (not just us, but our aud as a whole). When they showed "the dazzle" my bf, who had never read or heard much asbout the books, HYENA LAUGHED and then screamed, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!?!" The rest of the theatre (except the one girl in front of us who told him to STFU) BUSTED OUT LAUGHING at this. It was great!

I mostly spent the movie with my hand clamped over my mouth giggling madly at inside jokes from Twatlight, and so on. My lulz were so epic that most of my makeup came off from my tears of laughter, haha! Going to go see it again tomorrow :D

[zoethe.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen it yet, but this summarizes my daughter's experience with the series (http://zoethe.livejournal.com/627540.html). You might be amused.