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[cleolinda]

You know how I felt so mellow the other day? I think I know what did it: I had cranked up my speakers that afternoon and belted out embarrassing pop songs as loud as I could all afternoon. In retrospect--I wonder if it was like primal scream therapy or something?

I don't know. I was kind of having a bad yesterday (like you couldn't tell). I had to wait around all morning for the furnace guy (yes, another appliance has broken down), and then he got here and literally walked around and around the house checking vents and sensors for an hour and a half (I counted him making something like 26 or 27 circuits around the whole thing. I offered to help but he waved me back down), and then it cost us $121, because we have so much money right now to spend on yet another goddamn thing going wrong. And for some reason I felt like crying most of the day for no reason at all. And I finally just skipped the regular linkspam last night. So. Primal sing therapy it is.

Gonna scale back on the Twi-spam for at least a day or so, because I feel like I'm being hit with a sudden depressive episode. It's so sudden and acute that I don't think it'll last very long--hell, it could just be a normal hormonal dip--but I'm having a hard time dealing with even the most mundane tasks at the moment. I think part of it may be that TWILIGHT IS FINALLY HERE OMG, and I know that a lot of people are waiting around--because they have told me so; I'm really not so egotistical as to just assume it--for me to see the movie and run it through the Cleomatic 3000, and you know, every time I sit down to write something big like this, I'm not sure I can pull it off this time. It's one thing when I just write something on a whim and I don't expect people to care or like it; it's terrifying when I know people are expecting it. A lot of times I feel like people are never satisfied--they want more or they want better or they wanted me to do something else instead. I'm not a machine, you guys. The expectations scare me sometimes.

So, quickly: Fandom Lounge has an updated list of movie reviews, with more linked in the comments. Also: Twilight Movie Bingo. Oh, and the Today Show this morning: "We're going outside now?"

I cannot for the life of me find the original comments about this, so re: the Etsy package, it came! Thank you so much!

Oh, and by the way, if you added me on Facebook--I usually wait and add people back in batches, so everyone should be added now. (I'm not sure what's with all the welcome posts--I've been on Facebook for a pretty long time now.)

(And thanks for having such a civil discussion yesterday, I mean it. I like that when people disagree over here, they can do it in a friendly fashion.)

(Shit, I forgot to watch South Park last night. I guess I'll catch it online.)

Comments

[artemis-archer.livejournal.com]

I sort of wish I was going to be around a theater tonight, just to see how crazy it gets. Yesterday I was in my campus store looking at books and on this little coffee table they had a display with copies of the Twilight soundtrack with a sign printed in the very srs bzness college font that said, "Let the Music of Twilight Dazzle You". Not even academic institutions are safe D:

[luna-k.livejournal.com]

I added you on Facebook, if you want to add me back. I'm Marie K.

Sorry about the expectations. People can be scary sometimes.

[venusad.livejournal.com]

I love the South Park goths and feel their struggle.
Fantastic ep. I died laughing several times.


Don't be stressed! Recaps and minutes and things of that nature are supposed to be fun! If you're not going to have fun don't do it until you feel it's right!

[meleth.livejournal.com]

Go do some stuff that has nothing to do with pleasing the faceless LJ masses at all. And involves pie. I feel you should have pie. Or, um...stuff. I hope you feel better! Despite my really crap therapy advice!

P.S. Everything you write is fantastic and hilarious, and oodles better than the snark I come up with, so I just enjoy the anticipation of waiting for you to post whenever you have the time to do it. A stressed, burnt-out Cleo is no good to anyone, whereas a Cleo who posts on her own schedule is lovely and wonderful.

[padawansguide.livejournal.com]

Aw, sorry you're having a bad time. Don't rush on the Twilight stuff, or worry about our expectations. You don't have to be "on" all the time and downtime is allowed. That's something I've had to force myself to learn with my own sites. I have to fight my natural inclination to feel guilty when I can't be everything to everyone. We all need time to take care of ourselves. And the Twilight stuff is supposed to be fun - so just wait til it's fun to write about the movie and then write what you want. And screw demands or expections. :-)

[greedyskunk.livejournal.com]

The pop song/primal scream therapy works wonders. I used to get terrible road rage, but I found if I blasted my radio and sang along in my tuneless way (while letting out stream of consciousness curses at the other drivers), I managed not to ram anyone off the road. The proof of this came one day when I drove my grandmother to a doctor's appointment. I couldn't blast the stereo with her there and by the time I got home, I had a tension headache from clenching my teeth.

I totally forgot about the South Park episode until I heard my brother laughing downstairs. I'll just have to catch it OnDemand or something.

[audheim.livejournal.com]

First time commenter, long-time fan/lurker.

Like everyone else, I really hope you don't feel too pressured to please us. I mean, hell, I'll admit that whenever a big movie comes out and you don't turn it into a m15m I do get a little disappointed. But I move past it because it is only a parody, it's not a life or death thing and like many before me have said: you most certainly are not our performing monkey. Besides, the webcomics, writings, etc that can go for weeks without updates are frequently the best and it makes the times they do update all the more special. What that too corny?

[ladyvorkosigan.livejournal.com]

It's one thing when I just write something on a whim and I don't expect people to care or like it; it's terrifying when I know people are expecting it. A lot of times I feel like people are never satisfied--they want more or they want better or they wanted me to do something else instead. I'm not a machine, you guys. The expectations scare me sometimes.

I've managed to mess up big opportunities in the past because of this, so I feel you. It can get so paralyzing. But, we all think you're awesome, if it helps to have that reiterated. :-)

[snowwhite2421.livejournal.com]

Hey, hey. Twilight means never having to say you're sorry. Right?

[moia.livejournal.com]

Hello! I've been reading your lj recently, some of the tour of horror stuff you posted and then went on to read the True blood recaps (which were awesome!). :)

Just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're feeling down and I hope you feel better soon. Don't worry so much about the expectations, really - think of yourself rather. People on the internet you don't even know shouldn't be more important than RL priorities like work and your good health.
I like to get on a bit of a chocolate overdose if I'm feeling down. :) A friend likes to go for a run. As far as I know exercise is actually supposedly a good thing to do because it releases endorphins - but if I'm down I don't feel like going out so... if music helps, that's great for you. :)

[urizanegao.livejournal.com]

I know you feel a lot of pressure, but I think all you've got to do is express your honest opinion in the way that seems to come naturally to you and people will like it.

And if people don't like it, it's not as if you're being paid to entertain us; nobody has a right to demand any sort of product out of you, or criticize you for not giving them what they want.

I have no problem with anything I've seen of yours that you've written so far. I don't peruse your LJ with any expectation of, "Well, Cleolinda, you'd better have performed up to snuff today!" I come around thinking, "Well, let's see what Cleolinda has to say today." I like some of the things you post better than other things you post, but there are no hard feelings over the stuff I've come not to prefer.

You are free to express yourself in your space however you wish, and if anybody gets on your ass for that, they can GTFO.

[senshikittie.livejournal.com]

Ello thar. So, I was introduced to your Twilight rantings by a random person from a forum I frequent and I have to say... You almost caused me to wet myself because I was giggling so hard. :3

The South Park episode was teh awesomes, btw. ^.^

[angelene.livejournal.com]

A lot of times I feel like people are never satisfied

Oh, but they are... never satisfied. But that's not because of you or because something that you did or didn't: it's because they're people, and everyone is different from the other and so's everyone's expectations, tastes and desires. Nobody can make anyone (much less everyone) 100% happy all the time, which is, in my humble opinion, one of the reasons it is very important to be yourself and do your thing, instead of, say, trying to bend and reach out to what people might expect or wish from you. Which I don't think you're doing (or, at least, I don't get the perception that you're striving with all your might to be and do What People Want first and foremost -- I mean, you have brains and talent, you don't need to stretch: you're a natural!), which is why you're doing great.

Does it make sense, this thing I'm saying? I hope it does and that I'm wording/phrasing it right. Cheer up and stop worrying, is (basically) what I'm saying. :)

[eyemage.livejournal.com]

ive been toying with the very zen idea that expectations are indeed the root of unhappiness...

i dont pretend to have it even half figured out yet...

but moving away from expectations seems to help a bit for me...

this doesnt mean to give up on dreams and hopes for things...

but im still working out the balance in my head about it.

i wish it was as easy as just feeling different.

[joe-pwnz-pete.livejournal.com]

Dude. Don't feel PEER PRESSURE.

Anyway, CLEO I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHIP YOU AND I WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU WANTED IT.

It's Capt. Jack Sparrow doll that stands slightly more than a foot and a half. He comes with a sword, rum bottle, compass hat, and a removable hair piece (i wanted to be in the room when they were making that design decision.). I got it for Christmas a couple of years ago and I figured that you would like it more than I. I'm not sure who the maker of the doll is, but I know they used to sell them at Hot Topic. It is a pretty cool doll so if you want me to ship it to you or something, let me know!

(If you want pictures, I can upload a few.)

[trinastar.livejournal.com]

Pressure is never a fun thing to deal with... unless it's that song by Billy Joel which is still fantabulous.

Even if the power of Twilight does not dazzle, it will eventually come out on dvd and thusly will be funny for masses of all ages. I think it may even end up like the Dark Knight pre-sales... Banana's with a side of nuts.

Go do something fun for you... like I don't know reading? Reading can be fun, or more of the primal song therapy. Although Pie does sound really good right about now and I think I shall kill off the remains of my Birthday Banana Cream Pie.

[anolinde.livejournal.com]

I just added you on Facebook. =) Don't worry, the last person who sent a friend request to you isn't an anonymous creeper! I'm the one with the picture of someone getting bitch slapped, me being the person getting bitch slapped by school.

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

If you need to take a break from stuff Cleo, you go right ahead. We'll wait right here until you return.


The withdrawals shouldn't be TOO bad...

[mogumogu.livejournal.com]

If you want, I can run and hide for a while and then try to rediscover you.