Apparently I do not, in fact, dazzle you

[cleolinda]

I know people kept asking for these, so: The First Trickle... Twilight reviews (non-pro); AICN got a review as well (extremely positive fan review). Major note: "Do I dazzle you?" is not in the movie. This is perhaps for the best, as that would have been the point at which I would have laughed so hard that surrounding fangirls would have beat me to death. Also, apparently security on the premiere was INSANE--phone confiscations, bag searchings, etc.--which is why no sparkle footage has leaked yet. (Please recall that "dazzling" and "sparkling" are separate phenomena.)

(ETA: An explanation of the "review embargo" thing, which is pretty common and not the same as not screening for critics at all.)

ONTD is on the ground at the premiere getting pics of tons of people. "Jackson/Jasper was actually very sweet. He came and chatted with my section of Twi-hards probably 2 or 3 times"; "Jennie Garth (she was very sweet & tolerant of the crazies) & Peter Facinelli"; "[Pattinson] was absolutely charming." With bonus Jeffrey Dean Morgan (I think that is the universe telling me I definitely have to do the Watchmen primer).

Also, more pics from lunylucy. The Hair-Off made me laugh out loud, because you're scrolling down like, "Man, Kristen Stewart is putting up a big fight there with the OH MY GOD IT IS NO CONTEST."

Just How Huge Will ‘Twilight’ Be This Weekend? I don't know, I'm starting to revise my estimates downwards. I bought tickets for Saturday afternoon (pity poor, brave Brett the Vet, who is going with me), and they had only four showings of Twilight (five for Bolt). On one hand--ain't no riots in the street for Bolt. On the other... animated family film, bigger names, funny hamster. It could get ugly.

I Was A Teenage Trend-Hater: Despising Twilight Is Big For Fall. You know, I keep wondering if I would have liked the books as a teenager. As a freshman in college, I was a gigantic bitch about the Titanic phenomenon. On the other hand, I was a very depressed, lonely, melodramatic teenager. I can see myself at age fourteen writing very earnest, indignant essays about how the books are so not unfeminist, you take it back! Of course, we didn't have the internet then--not to the extent we do now--so it's kind of a different worlds thing. And thank God.

'Twilight' Cast @ Q&A + Paramore 'Lost Show' Performance in LA (Nov 18th). I think I'm just going to start tinhatting Kristen Stewart/Nikki Reed.

Robert Pattinson to appear on Ellen Degeneres. Tell me that's a t-shirt she's holding up and not, like, underwear. Tell me what I need to hear to go on, people.

In case you missed it when we first discussed it: Pattinson To Twilight Fans: Shut Up! Except it's more like "SHUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!"

AV Club: What Will Be the Next Abstinence Vampire?

100-Calorie-Pack Wild Centaur: A strong, virile half-man half-horse who also believes in treating yourself--in moderation? Hello, perfect boyfriend. Is there a more beautiful, romantic image than a caring centaur boyfriend galloping across lava fields (it takes place near lava fields) to bring his love a 100-calorie-pack of Oreo crisps so she can indulge guilt free? No, no there isn't. Am I right, ladies?

I'd go see it.

Twilight's Robert Pattinson: "I'm a Really Bad Kisser." Oh, well, now you're going to have thousands of women offering to teach you how to do it better. Brilliant. Also, Emmett has tips for the ladies: "Do not write an essay in every text, like, 'Oh, I had a great time, and we should do it again, and your eyes were so cute when you bowled!' That's like, 'Whoa.' "

Taylor Lautner: 'Twilight' star answers your questions. Apparently includes what he thought about Breaking Dawn? Haven't watched it yet.

Twilight Live Podcast Officially Uploaded.

Why are all the posters so creepy?

Info on Stephenie Meyer's cameo.

And for those of you wondering: Twi-spam takes half an hour. Regular linkspam takes an hour or so. True Blood recaps take seven, minimum. That's why I'm behind. I'm trying to clear some time off my schedule to catch up, but given that I've got to go see Twilight this weekend and then do the Made of Fail podcast on it early next week--I would not expect to see anything from me before the final episode, no. Shake your fist and curse the sparklepires heavens if you want, but that's the way it's working out.

ETA: Neil Gaiman's daughter for the win!

Comments

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I was thinking about whether I would have liked it as a teenager myself. At first, I thought, "Well, vampire romance, it would have been right up my alley," but then I remembered that that was when I was reading Stephen King and Anne Rice and VC Andrews and, no, come to think of it I probably would have been bored by the utter lack of mindless violence and accidental incest.

[ilwitchgrrl.livejournal.com]

Not all that incest was accidental! Some of it was mindfully crafted by Devil's Spawn!! And it was HOT. And GOOOD.

I'm sorry, I've been rereading Petals On The Wind lately, and the 14 year old fangirl in me cannot be contained.

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

I am so sad that "Do I dazzle you?" isn't in the movie. I would have killed for several thousand YouTube videos of repeating dazzle, a la "THEY'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD" or the Taters video.

I was somewhat disappointed in Jezebel for acting like hating Twilight is just something the cool kids do, instead of tearing it a new one for, you know, being Twilight.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

a la "THEY'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD" or the Taters video

Okay, the mere thought of this nearly killed me.

... I'm sure Twatlight will think of an acceptable substitute.

[palmetto.livejournal.com]

I would've adored Twilight when I was a teenager...and I also would have loved Breaking Dawn for unironic non-lulz related reasons. On one hand, at least I can admit that about the kind of bad taste I've shown in my life.

On the other?

[skeptiik.livejournal.com]

I'm a teenager. And I love the books. And I am not ashamed.

Although I know i should be...

but I am ashamed of my fellow teenage girls who do things like SCRATCH OPEN THEIR NECKS FOR AN AUTOGRAPH.

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

Cleo, I have to be honest: those look like boxers. Um...at least there are no faces on them?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

NO, NO THEY ARE NOT, THEY ARE A SLEEVELESS SHIRT WITH A REALLY LARGE NECK. AND LEG HOLES. I NEED TO BELIEVE THIS.

[mogumogu.livejournal.com]

Re: JF Review
:3 I kind of want to see the movie to see those "Jacob is sexy" scenes. Can I just pay a portion of the $11 proportional to the parts of the movie where he shows up?
It makes me want to fast forward to a New Moon movie to see a bunch of overheated topless tall, dark, young men hanging out in the woods indulging their newfound animal tendencies, mmmm.... What, vampires? Meh.

Oh, in addition to the "Face transplant" poster I showed you (it's an improvement) I've found one with his face crossed out, and one with a penis on his forehead and "I like cum."

Re: Vegetarian plate
I feel a little insulted... I mean... at a coffee shop, a vegetarian plate? O_o Coffee shops are all coffee and sweets! Do the danishes have pork in them or something?

Support puppet FTW. Wait... WHAT is that teddy bear cutout? It is awesome... but is it as awesome as SUPPORT PUPPET?

[blue_ant]

It is just me, or does it look like Robert and the E! Reporter are having a nice time flirting in this picture.

[plazmah.livejournal.com]

It's not just you!

[prncssaurora.livejournal.com]

I have lost all ability to estimate how much money this thing is going to make. I mean, a lot of the theatres here in NYC are sold out for at least the prime time showings on Friday, and some are actually adding more showings. I'm going to the 34th street AMC, and there are 19 showings on Friday alone. So... yeah, I guess we'll see.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, same here. I just can't tell. Almost nothing would surprise me at this point, in either direction.

[madelrocio7.livejournal.com]

The underwear is soooo Ellen. Oh, I love her.

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

Didn't know if you'd seen this yet: interview with Catherine Hardwicke.

http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/feature/2008/11/17/catherine_hardwicke/index.html

She kind of dismisses Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which I found...irksome.

[roseredhoofbeat.livejournal.com]

Bitch ain't got NUTHIN' on Joss Whedon.
*rabid Firefly fangirl snarl*

[eu-splinched.livejournal.com]

It's a relief to know I'm not alone in thinking those new posters are not as nice as the teaser ones.

[eu-splinched.livejournal.com]

er, one, I mean. I think there was only one.

[greedyskunk.livejournal.com]

I think I would have liked this book when I was a teenager. I was the kid who stayed in the library during lunch reading Dragonlance, but only because of the doomed relationship between Raistlin and Crysania. I probably would have denied it publically, but secretly loved it. And I'm sure I would have thought Breaking Dawn was so awesome and hardcore because of the birth scene.

I had to read trash in high school. It was a nice balance to 100 Years of Solitude and Beloved.

[rosina-alcona.livejournal.com]

for some reason all I can concentrate on is how much Spanx Stephanie Meyer is wearing. I don't know how I know she is, but I just do. It's evil stuff - poor woman is going to be SO UNCOMFORTABLE all night!

Is this film coming to the UK because I've seen nothing about it?

[bleakwinters.livejournal.com]

Meh. Maddie, oh Maddie, who's your daddy? And you liked it? D:

I tried to think if a 12-year-old me would like Edward. Not really. I was still into my Jules Verne at the time, and HP up to vol4 had appeared into my life. I read Anne Rice in later years and laughed. SMeyer's vampires would never have got past page 3.

[ninepointfivemm.livejournal.com]

She's, what, 13? So I can give her and Mike Mignola's daughters a pass. If they were 16+? No way.

[supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com]

I... do not know if I would've liked the books when I was a teenager. On one hand, I had a best friend who was obsessed with vampires for a while, and together we wrote awesomely bad vampire AU fan fiction about boy bands. On the other, I wasn't as obsessed with the bloodsucking undead as she was, and I was way, way more into the bloody violent sexy vampire stories when I did read/watch anything involving them. So yeah, I think the sparkling would've irked me even then.

This response to the USA Today blog made me LOL SO HARD (because IT HAPPENED IN CANON):

Not only can I kill vampires with my blood, but I sparkle way more than them, too.
Posted by: Karolina Dean

ILU RUNAWAYS.

[nursewretched.livejournal.com]

I have nothing useful to add, so have a cute story Katie and Mike Mignola did together:

http://community.livejournal.com/scans_daily/6103649.html

Hope you enjoy!

[ninepointfivemm.livejournal.com]

Oooh, it's an icon of Fly!

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

Manly film blogger Jeffrey Wells on Twilight: 'It works. (http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2008/11/turnaround.php)'

[ararejul.livejournal.com]

randomly cruising HT and found the funniest shirt ever. perhaps i only find it funny cause i still haven't read the books? but either way they now have their own shirts (and so does team jacob)

(http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/store/product.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302036927&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442185994&bmUID=1227113082138)

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

And come Friday, they can face off outside the theater like the Sharks and the Jets.

[ppyajunebug.livejournal.com]

If I was 12 or 13, I can either see myself loving the books or being just as dismissive of them as I am now. It depends on how bad I thought the writing would have been. I mean, I was reading "Gone With The Wind" and "The Princess Bride" so it could have gone either way.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

From the way they drape, I think they're those jersey sleep shorts. So, pajamas. Pajamas are okay, right?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

*sob*

[wednesday]

Ahgahd, my husband was stuck in the waiting room while I was at the doctor today, and told me after he'd seen RPattz on The Bonnie Hunt Show(? talk show, Bonnie Hunt hosts, some Kardashian chick was on it while I was still in the waiting room myself -- can you tell I haven't watched American network television in years?).

Apparently, amidst all the screeching? RPattz pulled out pictures of his wife and children. And then he plugged his Showtime show.

[oh-so-sparkly.livejournal.com]

Is it just me who thinks that Stephenie Meyer's plumped up on fame? She looks like a goth barge in the premier photos. Yes, I have become that shallow, thank you.

[rosina-alcona.livejournal.com]

might just be a bad angle - I just feel sorry for her because I can sense the Spanx and that is not a comfortable way to spend an evening!

[apocalyptically.livejournal.com]

11/12 was totally my vampire boyfriend phase (NIGHT WORLD 4EVA!!1!) so yes, I would probably have been into Twilight at that age. To be honest, I kinda wish I were a tween again just so I can get onboard this crazy train.

[lylassandra.livejournal.com]

Hee! In fifth grade I got hooked on the Vampire Diaries, so yeah, definitely no stranger to emo tween vampire lit. I like to think that I would have spotted the antifeminist messages, etc, the way my mother tried to train me to... but I also remember how totally uncritical I was of VD.

As for wishing I could ride the train... I rode enough trains that wish I hadn't already.

[maisontv.livejournal.com]

I would have loved Twilight unironically a few years ago (I almost did read them a few years ago, thank god I didn't). But I also loved Anita Blake (245 days sober), so my judgement wasn't the best at the time.

I have tickets to Bolt tomorrow. I think it's going to do better than Twilight; Twilight is targeted at a very specific demographic, while Bolt is not only a family movie but looks funny enough to appeal to everyone. I already love that hamster beyond all reason.

[lylassandra.livejournal.com]

245 days sober

Seriously. It took me one or two falls off the wagon to realize that, no, the series wasn't going to get better again. And then I stopped reading them for real.

[mogumogu.livejournal.com]

Oh, in today's amNewYork (pdf here (http://weblogs.amny.com/entertainment/urbanite/blog/)) there's a brief interview with RPatz.

Highlights:

The relationship is described as "star-crossed." Whut. The series would have been better if they were star-crossed.

"I looked kind of like an old, Irish alcoholic."

Let me know if I should keep the replying down. :(

[trampchic.livejournal.com]

Re the teenager thing, I was actually debating hooking my younger cousin on Twilight, as a psychological experiment, but decided I wanted to spare her the years of therapy ("And he never disables my car!").

Btw, is this a coincidence or why is everybody wearing the white undershirt+ blue shirt combo? Is this a trend I missed?

And re SHUT UP: according to NoMoreMarbles ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDMqJePj9MQ ) he might have been miming seppuku. Which might be better - at least he stills jokes about this stuff.