It's Friday morning and I need caffeine

[cleolinda]

trailer_spot has the HD download of the final Twilight trailer!

Full trailer for the big screen adaptation of the first book of the series of youth novels written by Stephenie Meyer scheduled for release in December. It tells the story of 17-year-old Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) who moves to the small town of Forks, Washington to live with her father, and becomes drawn to Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), a pale, mysterious classmate who seems determined to push her away. But neither can deny the attraction that pulls them together even when Edward confides that he and his family are vampires. Directed by Catherine Hardwicke (Thirteen, Lords of Dogtown, The Nativity Story).

Oh my god, they kiss!

I may have laughed out loud at seven in the morning and scared my dog, y'all. Don't fall into the sarchasm!

Anyway. A giant zip file of 1000+ screencaps--I hit "10 frames per second" on the auto cap function and let it go to town, so, you know, enjoy the redundancy, go forth and icon, whatever.

Hey, you know what's great about the LJ gallery thing? You can tag your pics, the way you do your entries. And then you can link to all pics under that tag. Like this: Tag: vampire baseball.

Anyway, a couple of things I wanted to mention, particularly for people who are like, look, I'm not watching this shit, what are you actually laughing about?

Well, first of all--an audio note, not a visual, but: good to know that Our Lady of Soundtrack Sorrow's getting work in a tough economy like this.





Hey! Hey! The speed-mo tree-climbing part that killed me dead? Yeah, that's Bella on his back there. I could never date a sparklepire because I'd be vomiting all over the Pacific Northwest.



Also, please notice the hackysack apple of I See What You Did Thar. This is what the Cullen boys do when they get bored of not eating during their lunch period, I think--go out and play vampire hackysack out by the flagpole in the courtyard. Or maybe I just had a lot of vampires at my high school, who knows.




Ray Bans: The Vampimp Collection.


Yeah, they just lie there for like five hours, staring at each other, not touching, arguing who's prettier. You think I'm making this up and I'm totally not.




SAY MY NAME BITCH




VAAAAAAAMPIIIIIIIIIIRE


Actual line from the movie, I am not shitting you: "You brought a snack?"




When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way



My theoretical vampire boyfriend: "Hey, isn't the view great up here? "

* barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrf *




When you're a Jet, you're the swingin'est thing



Are they... are they having an aerial slapfight?



Please compare Robert Pattinson's line reading of "You are my life now" to mine. * This is why he gets the big bucks and not me--for superior understanding of how effing creepy Edward is.

Comments

[winters-queen.livejournal.com]

*almost spews coffee on screen* Your comments make this movie so much less painful.

[sweetsyren.livejournal.com]

Holy crap that tree climbing thing was just freaky. And I like heights.

Also - I have a question. Where are the fangs? I mean seriously, has ANYONE seen a set in any of the trailers/pictures?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Silly, sparklepires don't have fangs!

(I'm serious, they don't. Just "very sharp teeth.")

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

This is why he gets the big bucks and not me--for superior understanding of how effing creepy Edward is.

I think this whole franchise is ridiculous, but I have massive respect for what I've seen Robert do with this character just in the trailer. He's found the creepy unhinged stalker that Edward truly is and nailed it.

And I think the reason the kiss has so much chemistry is a) they're both great actors and b) though they're moving their lips, it doesn't involve clumsy Meyer dialogue.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, just "SAY IT" is pretty damn creepy.

[nnneng.livejournal.com]

LOLs all these stills and the HD and the crazies make me feel like i have seen the movie already. but that won't stop me from watching it in a 4-day loop (inspired by your titanic to the 48th power, thankyouverymuch).

[derangeddarling.livejournal.com]

amazing icon. *giggles*

[spike22fowl.livejournal.com]

I am so excited to laugh at this movie. I mean, I loved Twilight but damn... this just looks like the funniest thing I'm ever going to see.

Have you seen the scene where they're in the greenhouse on the field trip? Oh my god... utter bliss. It is the most awkward thing I have ever watched in my LIFE.

EDIT: LINK to the Greenhouse (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUFgCCe7Ae4)

[delle.livejournal.com]

Um.... a greenhouse field trip?????????? Does SMeyer have a *clue* that Forks is near/in a temperate rain forest (http://www.forks-web.com/fg/rainforest.htm)?

The stupid, it burns! Kudos to all of you who are planning to watch this trainwreck. Me, I think I'm going to barracade myself in my crawl space; I think the End Times must be here.

[oldfeatheryhat.livejournal.com]

Umm, is it bad that I find the ponytailed evil vamp kind of hot?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hell no. (http://pics.livejournal.com/cleolinda/pic/00099cb2/g17)

Chillin's

[zoomonkees.livejournal.com]

SAY MY NAME BITCH

Wow, that just made my entire morning/day/class. That and the Jets.
*snap* *snap* *snap*

[brandied-plum.livejournal.com]

So, um. Can I go watch the movie with you? I think that would make it infinitely more bearable.

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

Oh man, Cleo should record commentaries that could be played simultaneously with movies. That would be so much fun! It would be like a live action M15M. I'd buy it. *nods*

[notashamed.livejournal.com]

how effing creepy Edward is.
this is why I love you.

[mysduende.livejournal.com]

SAY MY NAME BITCH VAAAAAAAMPIIIIIIIIIIRE

OoooO Creepward is now Domward. *clap clap clap*

[shocolate.livejournal.com]

He really, really does get the creepy - and can climb tall trees with a straight face.

He is a true genius.

[runa27.livejournal.com]

I love that guy. XD Between that and being down to earth about the whole thing... I'm tempted to actually see the movie in the theaters or something. o,o

...

Or something.

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

I feel like I need to go all Dark-Side-of-the-Wizard-of-Oz on this movie: sound off, West Side Story soundtrack blaring.

[heather.livejournal.com]

Shark/Jet references FTW.

Also, the whole climbing shit like The Fly thing? Decidedly not sexy or romantic, especially not on screen. Lulz.

[kvschwartz.livejournal.com]

Wait ... how exactly do we listen to your podcast(s)?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

You click through and download the file. I probably need to go through and change the URL to a permalink:

http://www.poufwaexchange.com/archives/32

I'm trying to see if they'd be okay with me pulling out a one-minute clip or something for this entry.

[madeline-may.livejournal.com]

I am LOVING the arial slapfight. And the picture before that, the jazzhands are just too much.

I vote we turn this entire thing into a musical.

Also... why am I finding R-Pattz so attractive right now? I shouldn't be. *slaps self*

[cassildra.livejournal.com]

Twilight: the Musical! COME SEE arial slapfights! BE DAZZLED as Edward literally sparkles! GASP IN AWE as Edward climbs trees faster than lightning! BE STUNNED by the glory of Bella's bitchface!

...Yeah, I'd watch that.

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

Oh Robert. If this performance doesn't convince me I want to have your little cracked out babies nothing will.

And what the heck? Do vampires just shove each other around a lot? Never have immortal beings had something that so much resembled a girlfight.

[madeline-may.livejournal.com]

I half expect them to start shrieking and scratching each other. And then someone will pull Edward's hair and ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE.

[ppyajunebug.livejournal.com]

See, now I'm going to have to go and see this on opening night and instead of bothering the fantwits with my hysterical laughter, instead I'll be singing the entire score of "West Side Story." With accents. And finger snapping.

[goonie-freak.livejournal.com]

How can you watch the trailer WITHOUT laughing? Oh wow... I lost it at the close up "Vampire" part....

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Dude, I had to stop it about ten seconds in for my first laugh attack. I got to the "SAY IT OUT LOUD" part and had to stop for about two minutes.

[padawansguide.livejournal.com]

That is all kinds of awesome. Your commentaries on this make me happy.

As for the hackysack/apple trick - you know Edward totally practiced that and Emmett kept stealing the apple from him and Edward called him immature.

And I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought the "You are my life now" line was creepy, as only Edward can be.

Oh, and the Jet stuff totally cracked me up. :-) As did the Our Lady Sorrow bit.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

It was actually kind of sweet in the book--they've had their big day in the meadow, he sleeps next to her all night long (yes, she is fully aware of this), she makes him promise to still be there in the morning and he is, because "You are my life now." I mean, I'm not saying it's healthy to go from zero to sixty in your obsessive teenage human-vampire relationship, but it's written as kind of a sweet, low-key kind of thing. You know, compared to the window-oiling and the backyard-stalking and the chivalry rages and all of that.

[slkrabbit.livejournal.com]

The book recaps are funny enough, but this finally FORCED me to create an account to comment on your genius.

The West Side Story captions had me laughing harder than I have in weeks!

[geckophobe.livejournal.com]

Who did the hairstyling for this mess? I was looking at your Vampire Baseball caps and everyone looks like they're wearing a frizzy, tangled, cheap halloween wig from Party City smashed down by awkwardly placed ball caps. I know it's rainy and humid, but damn.

Also, I've been revisiting the show The OC and just realized Cam Gigandet played a bad guy surfer dude in Season 3 (http://justjared.buzznet.com/headlines/2006/02/mischa-barton-cam-gigandet-oc.jpg), so if I ever see this film I won't be able to get the idea of the Evil Surfing Bloodsucker out of my head. Welcome to the Olympic Peninsula, bitch.

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

I must admit that I just read that as "bad gay surfer dude", so in my head, "welcome to the Olympic Peninsula, bitch" had a rather effiminate lilt to it.

[softerthansound.livejournal.com]

I was actually crying with laughter over the ONTD posts earlier this morning. This is going to be the best November ever.

[rosetapestry.livejournal.com]

I'm actually glad Harry Potter got out of the way because now I don't have to try and balance any srs bsns vs. sparklelulz! I might have actually exploded otherwise.

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

The vampire baseball looks exactly as stupid as I'd think it would. Heh.

I think the *only* part of the trailer I liked was the apple hackysack. I always had a soft spot for the hackysack boys, because I had several friends who did that.

On the other hand, it does seem derivative of the Spider-man tray-catching scene in Spider-man 1.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

It's not even in the book! That's the funny part. I couldn't even tell you what scene that's supposed to be.

[derangeddarling.livejournal.com]

Is that blonde fox in the scarf Carlisle or Jasper? Either way, dayum, he fiiiiiiiine.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

That would be Carlisle--Peter Facinelli (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004906/), who isn't even blond.

[x-knees.livejournal.com]

Seriously? The best was the apple in his hands!! That is so downright CHEESY it KILLS. I cannot believe that was added in. I think I threw up in my mouth a little.