I have a confession to make

[cleolinda]

... because I feel like I really need to get this off my chest.

So.

I managed to not hear it all summer long, not even know what it sounded like, because I heard that it was so annoying. I don't even know how I managed that much. So it's finally old meme now, and I'm watching the godforsaken VMAs, and finally... I hear it.

Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl."

I fought it for a couple of weeks, but... I am kind of addicted to it now. And it's not even current anymore.

I am so ashamed.

See, here's the thing: the lyrics make me want to punch Katy Perry and her smug pinup-girl romper in the face. It's two lines, specifically: "You're my experimental game" and "I hope my boyfriend don't mind it." Because those two lines really push it over the line into--as someone else said--"I Kissed a Girl and I Liked the Attention." If it were a little more sarcastic or self-aware--"And then I uploaded pics of it to MySpace and now my daddy can't ever run for public office"--I'd almost be okay with it. Or if it picked up on the defiant tone in the chorus and was all like, "Hey, I think I like girls as well as boys, for real." As it is, it's just so selfish and callous and "Tee-hee, I'm bi-curious only when I'm drunk and other people are looking!" Actually, what I really want is a follow-up reply song from Cherry Chapstick Whoever, like, "I Kissed Some Drunk Girl (And Now She Won't Return My Calls)."

What I really wish is that someone would rewrite it to suck less, or that there was a version with no vocals, just the instruments, because that's what makes the song stupidcrackmusic. It's the drums, I think--the beat is fantastic, the guitars in the chorus are good, and I like the general I DO WHAT I WANT! tone of the lyrics in theory. And then it just goes all to hell with the cutesy attention-whore faux rebellion. And as far as falling in love with the beat, it probably didn't help, either, that the first time I finally heard the song was when Katy Perry and her romper sang a bit of it as the VMAs were going out to (or coming back in from?) commercials, and Travis Barker was on drums and he was--oh my God, I was going to say "he was really on fire that night." Oh God, I wasn't even thinking. I am going to hell now. I am going to go sit in the corner and think about what I've done now.

I just... I need help, you guys. I'm addicted to this terrible song and sometimes I find myself singing along with it and I just said something horribly inappropriate and I need to go to dollhab. Is this rock bottom, or is there an even rockier low I can hit?


ETA: Cobra Starship's "I Kissed a Boy." And please, someone bring us the Katy Perry-pwning Jill Sobule song "I Kissed a Girl" from the '90s, I can't find it. (YAY)

ETA 2: You know who needs to cover this song and heal us all? Pink.

Comments

[viorica8957.livejournal.com]

Zooey Deschanel, right? The first time I saw an article about the song, I thought "Wait, Zooey Deschanel is a musicial as well?"

[christigilly.livejournal.com]

Oh, Zooey D. does have some PIPES. That's her singing in Elf, Bridge to Terebithia, and I think some others of her movies. She is awesome and cute as a button.

[hulamoth.livejournal.com]

actually, uhm, Lucy Griffiths from Robin Hood. I have no idea if Lucy can sing, but she can do kung fu and archery.

[viorica8957.livejournal.com]

Huh. I never noticed it before, but you're right, they do look a bit similar.

Djaq!

[hulamoth.livejournal.com]

yeah, you're right - there's not too crazy much of a similarity, but it's enough that if I'm feeling lonely, I start to pretend there's more of one. Going to stop whilst I'm ahead.

The girls on RH are so much more kickass than the guys

[viorica8957.livejournal.com]

Well since we don't get to watch her every week (damn you BBC, getting rid of all the good characters!) we can either watch whatever it is she's on now, or find substitutes.