I have a confession to make

[cleolinda]

... because I feel like I really need to get this off my chest.

So.

I managed to not hear it all summer long, not even know what it sounded like, because I heard that it was so annoying. I don't even know how I managed that much. So it's finally old meme now, and I'm watching the godforsaken VMAs, and finally... I hear it.

Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl."

I fought it for a couple of weeks, but... I am kind of addicted to it now. And it's not even current anymore.

I am so ashamed.

See, here's the thing: the lyrics make me want to punch Katy Perry and her smug pinup-girl romper in the face. It's two lines, specifically: "You're my experimental game" and "I hope my boyfriend don't mind it." Because those two lines really push it over the line into--as someone else said--"I Kissed a Girl and I Liked the Attention." If it were a little more sarcastic or self-aware--"And then I uploaded pics of it to MySpace and now my daddy can't ever run for public office"--I'd almost be okay with it. Or if it picked up on the defiant tone in the chorus and was all like, "Hey, I think I like girls as well as boys, for real." As it is, it's just so selfish and callous and "Tee-hee, I'm bi-curious only when I'm drunk and other people are looking!" Actually, what I really want is a follow-up reply song from Cherry Chapstick Whoever, like, "I Kissed Some Drunk Girl (And Now She Won't Return My Calls)."

What I really wish is that someone would rewrite it to suck less, or that there was a version with no vocals, just the instruments, because that's what makes the song stupidcrackmusic. It's the drums, I think--the beat is fantastic, the guitars in the chorus are good, and I like the general I DO WHAT I WANT! tone of the lyrics in theory. And then it just goes all to hell with the cutesy attention-whore faux rebellion. And as far as falling in love with the beat, it probably didn't help, either, that the first time I finally heard the song was when Katy Perry and her romper sang a bit of it as the VMAs were going out to (or coming back in from?) commercials, and Travis Barker was on drums and he was--oh my God, I was going to say "he was really on fire that night." Oh God, I wasn't even thinking. I am going to hell now. I am going to go sit in the corner and think about what I've done now.

I just... I need help, you guys. I'm addicted to this terrible song and sometimes I find myself singing along with it and I just said something horribly inappropriate and I need to go to dollhab. Is this rock bottom, or is there an even rockier low I can hit?


ETA: Cobra Starship's "I Kissed a Boy." And please, someone bring us the Katy Perry-pwning Jill Sobule song "I Kissed a Girl" from the '90s, I can't find it. (YAY)

ETA 2: You know who needs to cover this song and heal us all? Pink.

Comments

[chaos-slave.livejournal.com]

I am like you, I went forever without hearing it and then a radio station started playing it and now it's my "I hate it but love it" radio song.

[madcathatter.livejournal.com]

As a gay female, I hate the song with every fiber of my being. ...And I listen to it frequently, complete with singing along and dancing.

I have no excuse for my actions. It's just plain addictive.

I think the Cherry Chapstick reply should be, "I Don't Mind Being Your Experiment (Because It Gets Me Hot-Straight-Girl Action)".

[madeline-may.livejournal.com]

Naw, you're cool, I find myself unwittingly singing along with those inane lyrics as well. Damn you, catchy beats... damn you all to hell.

I think you pretty much captured my feelings about the stupid song, though. They could rename the whole thing, "Gimmick! Gimmick! Gimmick!", and it would generally stay the same in terms of meaning.

It's called decent lyrics, Katy, not, "This is gonna be a great way to piss of my mom! Do the boys like me yet?"

[morganwolf.livejournal.com]

I'll go ahead and add my confession: although I wish Katy Perry would go away and never come back, the song does have a catchy melody and beat and I'd probably really like it if the words didn't make me rage so hard. I assume most pop songs are allowed to survive because no one is really paying attention to the lyrics.

I still say this song was a lot better when Jill Sobule wrote it.

If you really want to hit a new low, though, you can always start listening to "UR So Gay." ("ur so gay/and you don't even like PENIS")

[ambiguousreason.livejournal.com]

OMG DID I BREAK INTO YOUR JOURNAL AND WRITE THIS?!

because i hate those stupid lyrics and they make me want to slap katy perry in the face, but oh god do i love the music and the beat of that song, i can't even help it.

and yes, i sing along too. *ashamed*

[kraorh.livejournal.com]

Well said. I kept thinking how funny the song would be if it were sung by a guy. If he changed the gender of the kissee to a guy, it'd be interesting to see the reaction, because I've noticed that two femme girls kissing tends to be regarded as cute and sexy, but two guys doing the same thing is regarded as gross, even after Brokeback Mountain.

[decor-noctis.livejournal.com]

Have you heard Cobra Starship's 'I Kissed A Boy'? The lyrics definitely annoy me less; they're a lot more self-aware.

EDIT: I uploaded it here (http://www.sendspace.com/file/un2cwy).

[divadeanna.livejournal.com]

RE: Singing along.

It's odd to me that I somehow know all the words to some of the songs I hate most in the world. How does that happen....

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I kind of want a series of songs where the Katy Perry narrator is all like, "Wait... I think I actually am into girls," and Cherry Chapstick is all like, "Bitch, please, I was on a break from my actual girlfriend, I don't want your poser ass now," and Katy Perry replies with some kind of heartbroken torch song, or one of those "Come back, baby, baby please!" songs.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, word to Jill Sobule.

And yeah, just the TITLE "UR So Gay" makes me want to stab someone. I don't even care if it's the catchiest song ever, I refuse to listen to it. I don't care if that song would be the love of my life, NO.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

You know, I have heard of covers sung by guys. But I don't know that they change the words. Actually, that would still be pretty funny with the "Hope my boyfriend don't mind it" part.

[kraorh.livejournal.com]

On that. From what little I know of Katy Perry, it sounds like she grew up in a very repressed Christian conservative family, and that's reflected by the fact that her earliest music was all religious. I suspect that this song is just emblematic of her attempt to rebel from all that, though it's kind of a dumb rebellion.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Travis Barker was on drums and he was--oh my God, I was going to say "he was really on fire that night." Oh God, I wasn't even thinking. I am going to hell now. I am going to go sit in the corner and think about what I've done now.
Oh dear.

I think I've only heard the song twice, thankfully.

I may have mentioned this before, but your icon always looks like a woman sucking her thumb to me.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Love the Tegan and Sara icon!

[kraorh.livejournal.com]

Right. I did see somewhere that Warron Zevon, of all people, collaborated with Jill Sobule for a while, and reportedly did sing her "I Kissed a Girl" at a few shows.

[dwarrowchild.livejournal.com]

Thank you for expressing everything I hate about that song. I avoided it for months because I feared it would be just like that, and was forced to hear it by my friends very recently. I was irked beyond belief. "I Kissed a Girl So Boys Would Look at Me." Like drunk chicks on Spring Break, Katy Perry is stealing lesbianism.

In the '90s, there was another song titled "I Kissed a Girl" by Jill Sobule, which is actually about discovering bisexuality. I've been looking for it for awhile.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Wait, that's a song??

[madeline-may.livejournal.com]

I think her mother was a reverend, too... which kind've makes matters hilarious.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

To my credit, I only sing along with the lines that don't make me insane with rage. And I don't sing the stupid bridge about girls being so kissable. Whatever. I mostly sing along with the actual verses. "This was never the way I planned, not my intention" is actually a great way to begin a song, IMO.

[coconut-zebra.livejournal.com]

I think that song is exactly like Twilight - you know you shouldn't like it, BUT YOU DO.

I'm the same way.

[eyemage.livejournal.com]

seconds the Jill Sobule preference...

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

EXCUSE ME, JEM WOULD NOT SUCK HER THUMB. JEM IS TRULY TRULY TRULY OUTRAGEOUS.

[cassildra.livejournal.com]

omg. icon. omg.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I can probably find it for you--that song had such a cute video, too.

[cassildra.livejournal.com]

It's another Katy Perry thing.